Me without You
Chapter 3
Day One
~Alice POV~
I glared at the crowds that were applauding the cheerleading display. What the hell was I supposed to do now? Magically becoming a different person had never been something I'd anticipated. What was a girl supposed to do in this kind of situation?
Luckily for me, the display appeared to be over, and the cheerleaders were skipping out of the gym. Unsure of what else to do, I followed them round to the changing rooms where most of them were chattering excitedly. One - with ash blonde hair pulled into a high ponytail and sparkling green eyes - bounded up to me.
"Omigosh Mary, that was the best performance yet!" She gushed. Mary? No one had called me Mary in almost a century. I smiled weakly at the girl, wondering who the hell she was.
"Yeah it was good." I said for lack of a better response
"Hey Mary, hey Fern." A second girl joined us - this one with curly chestnut hair and eyes to match - revealing the name of the first girl.
"Hey Kelly." Fern smiled at the brunette
"Hey." I greeted as well, acting as if I hadn't only just met the girls in front of me.
"Coach said we can go as soon as we're ready." Kelly told us, "The guys are heading down to ChiChi's and they wanted to know if we'd join them."
I had no idea who the 'guys' were or what 'ChiChi's' was, but Fern seemed enthusiastic enough and I didn't know what else to do. Where was I supposed to go? Home? Where the hell was that? I didn't even know where I lived in this 'other life'!
"Sure." I said
"Alright, come on!" Kelly said, taking my hand and pulling me towards the exit. Weren't we going to change into something a little less...revealing? The word 'slutty' also popped into my mind. We exited through the fire exit to find two cars waiting for us. One was a silver Mercedes convertible with the top down, and the other was a black pickup truck. People were already sat in all of the proper seats, and more people were piling in where they could fit. Kelly jumped into the Mercedes, perching on the trunk with only her legs inside the car, so she was sat on the back of the seats. She gestured for me to climb up next to her, so I did. Fern joined me on the other side.
The guy in the drivers seat turned around to face us. He had short dark brown hair - almost black - spiked up in a 'cool guy' look, and bright blue eyes. He grinned at us, "Welcome ladies."
"Drive Danny." Fern ordered with a roll of her eyes and the guy - Danny - turned back around to face the road. With a jerk the car started and we sped away from the school. If I didn't have perfect balance, I would have gone flying. The pickup - with as many people as possible piled in the back - was following us. It was getting dark now - it must have been sometime in the evening - and it was growing harder and harder to make out where we were going.
Finally, the car stopped outside what looked like a diner. Everyone started piling out of the cars and into the lit up building. As we sat down in a collection of booths, it struck me how very fifties this all was. If it wasn't for the fashion, that is. Danny sat beside me and slung an arm around my shoulder. I almost flinched away, on instinct, but I stopped myself. This was obviously normal behaviour in this life, so I shouldn't start acting weird and drawing attention to myself.
"He's your boyfriend by the way." A voice said into my ear. I would have shrieked out loud if I hadn't been using all my concentration to look normal. I turned my head slightly and I saw Meredith leaning over the back of the booth. Obviously, as no one else seemed to have noticed her sudden appearance, I was the only one who could see her.
And then, her words really sank in. Boyfriend? I had a boyfriend? That can't be right.
"Of course it's right!" Meredith said, knowing my thoughts immediately, "Would I lie to you?"
I decided that talking out loud to thin air would seem a bit weird, so I opted to talking in my thoughts like I would usually do with Edward. How would I know if you'd lie - I don't even know you! I thought at Meredith.
"Tenshi don't lie." Meredith said.
How do I know that's not a lie? I thought.
"Because it isn't!" Meredith said in a rather annoyed tone, "Now do you want to hear about Danny or not?"
I paused. Okay. Tell me about him, but I don't believe he's my boyfriend. I wouldn't date anyone other than Jasper.
"This you doesn't even know Jasper exists." Meredith pointed out, and she carried on speaking before I could fire an accusation at her in my thoughts, "You've been dating Danny for a couple of months now. You've known him for a few years, since you moved here to Alpine."
I've been here a few years? I asked
"Yep, when you moved here you told everyone you were 16, and it's been three years now." Meredith told me, "So you're at your real age now."
So many questions were running through my mind, but I asked the most important one. Do I live still live with the Cullens?
"Oh, yes!" Meredith said, "Just because you never met Jasper, you still had your visions of you living with the Cullen family. You found them by yourself, and you've been living with them for, what - fifty years now?"
I breathed a sigh of relief. Some people I would know, at least! People I trusted. Maybe I could even tell them what was going on and they-
"No." Meredith cut me off, "You can't tell anyone!"
Why? I asked
"This is magic we're dealing with!" Meredith said, "Something you are not familiar with, but let me tell you - if anyone finds out about this, there will be dire consequences! Do you understand that?" It was the first time I had seen Meredith loose her calm exterior as she looked at me with a slight panic in her eyes. "Do you understand, Alice?"
Yes. I understand. I thought. But what-
"Turn back to your friends - you look suspicious." Meredith said and she seemed to fade away. I turned my gaze back to the crowd around me and sure enough several people were giving me strange looks.
"Mary?" Danny asked
"Sorry, I was somewhere else." I apologized, "What are we talking about?"
Fern launched into a speech about cheerleading and I zoned out again. I saw Meredith materialize behind the booth again as Kelly moved on to talk about what she wanted to order.
Hey, I have a question. I thought towards Meredith.
"Shoot." Meredith said, leaning back over the booth. The more I talked to her, the more the superior well spoken angel disappeared and the more the modern teenager that she physically looked like showed.
Why is everything here like something out of a bad fifties movie? I asked. Meredith laughed.
"It's not always like this." Meredith said, tilting her head slightly, "But this diner is the main hang out of you and your friends." The diner made me think of Jasper. What was he doing right now? "You're already thinking about him and you haven't been gone more than an hour."
I scowled at the table. Don't you have somewhere to be?
"Actually, I do." Meredith said
No, wait I didn't mean...
Meredith had disappeared. I mentally cursed myself. I'd been annoyed that she'd pointed out my weakness for Jasper, but things made so much more sense when Meredith was around to explain them. I turned my attention back to the people surrounding me - my friends, apparently. A middle aged waitress came over to our booth and smiled at us.
"What can I get you?" She asked. Everyone began ordering milkshakes and fries and burgers, and I started to panic. Would it look weird if I didn't order anything? What did I usually order? Where was Meredith when you needed her?
"You still on that crazy ass diet?" Danny asked, turning to me.
"Hu?" I asked, staring at him blankly.
"No carbs, no fat, no sugar, no food." Half the people round the table chanted. I stared at them. Were those really my words? They made me sound like a bitchy, spoilt...well, cheerleader. Was that really me? It took me a moment to realise I'd probably come up with the diet as an excuse to not eat.
"Right. Yeah, I gotta watch my weight, right?" I said
"You don't need to." Danny said, his arm snaking around my bare waist, "You look perfect." Of course I did. I was a vampire - designed to attract humans to me before I killed them. And yet, I was dating one of them. I forced myself not to move away from his hold. "Geez Mary, you're freezing. As always. Do you want my jacket?"
"I'm fine." I told him
"You always say that." He said with a frown
"I'm always fine." I retaliated, glad that I seemed to be getting something right with this new character.
"You want some water, sweetie?" The waitress asked me. She smiled at me so encouragingly that I felt it would be rude to not accept.
"That would be great, thank you." I said, smiling back at her. The waitress left to get our order, and the conversation went to sports. It turned out that Danny was head of the football team, which was horribly clichéd because it looked like I was head cheerleader. Most of our group was made up of cheerleaders and footballers, with a couple of other people who would usually be associated with the 'popular crowd'. I assumed that's what we were - popular. It was weird. We'd always blended into the shadows and tried not to attract attention to ourselves - sticking to our own little group. Speaking of our own little group...where the hell were the Cullens?
The waitress returned with the food and with my water. She started talking to some of our group sat at the next booth over. When she finally announced that the diner was closing, everyone jumped back into the cars we'd come in. The pickup went in one direction, and our Mercedes went in another. We drove around the town, stopping at various peoples housing to let them out. When there was enough seats Fern, Kelly and I slipped into the back seats whilst Danny and another guy - Leo, I think his name was - stayed in the front. Eventually, everyone had gone except for me and Danny. I climbed into the front seat, as this seemed like the 'normal' thing to do and Danny smiled at me across the console.
"You were great tonight baby." He told me. I almost frowned, but stopped myself. No one called me 'baby'. Not even Jasper. I'd always found the name...trashy. In short, I didn't like it.
"Thanks." I said, none of my distaste showing in my voice.
"Do you wanna come back to my place, or should I drop you straight home?" Danny asked
"I should probably get home." I said quickly. Danny nodded, looking disappointed. I hoped to god he knew where I lived. What was I supposed to say if he asked for directions? Luckily, he seemed to know his way as he drove through the dark streets.
"Perhaps you could convince your parents to live a little less in the middle of no where." He said, rolling his eyes
"It's not that bad." I said, even though I had no idea how bad it was.
"It's in the middle of Cleveland National Forest!" Danny said. It made sense that our house was still protected by forest. Danny pulled up outside a large modern looking house and cut the engine. "So...when am I going to see inside this house of yours?"
I glanced across at him. We'd been dating for months and he hadn't been inside? There must be a valid reason. Unfortunately, I didn't know that reason, so I just shrugged. "I'd invite you in, but..."
"Yeah, I know." Danny said with a sigh before I could finish. He leaned across the console and kissed me. This time, I couldn't stop myself reacting. I pulled away. "Hey, are you okay?"
"I'm fine." I said with a smile, "See ya Danny."
I slipped out of the car before anything else could go wrong and ran up to the house, making sure to keep my pace at human running speed as I heard Danny's car pulling away. I let myself into the house and shut the door firmly behind me. As I walked into the living room I saw my family; Emmett and Rosalie were cuddled up together on the couch, Esme and Carlisle were watching TV, and Edward was sat in an armchair reading a book. They all looked up as I entered and smiled.
"Hello Mary, did you have a nice night?" Carlisle asked pleasantly. Mary, again.
"Yes thank you Carlisle." I replied. I looked around, "Hey, where's Bella?"
Everyone stared at me. It wasn't easy to shock a vampire.
"Dude, insensitive much?" Emmett finally said. I looked at my family, confused.
"Is this a joke?" Edward asked coldly
"W-What did I do?" I asked
"Bringing up the girl I killed, the reason we moved here." Edward's voice didn't brighten. I stared at him.
"You...killed Bella?" I asked, hardly able to speak, "No, that's not supposed to-"
"That was three years ago, Mary, why would you bring it up now?" Rosalie asked
"I..." I didn't know what to say. "Excuse me."
I rushed out of the house before my family could see me break down. I ran into the forest and hardly waited until I would be out of earshot too let out a cry of pain and sadness. Bella was dead? Edward had killed her...why?
"I told you a lot of things would be different if you hadn't met Jasper." A voice said. I turned around to see Meredith leaning against a tree.
"This is because I never met Jasper?" I asked incredulously, "Why would that make a difference to Bella or Edward?"
"Without having Jasper around, you weren't constantly checking the future for any slip ups." Meredith began to explain, "Which means you never foresaw what Edward was planning - you never had reason to believe he would kill a human. In the life where you knew Jasper, you were there to support Edward and to tell him he would love Bella in the future. In this life, you were too busy with your own human friends to notice or to be there for him."
"I'm not like that." I argued
"Maybe you're not." Meredith said, "The you that's spent decades with Jasper. This other you is different, Alice. Jasper changed you as well as changing your life."
"But...I would never let Edward do something like that!" I said, desperate for it to be a lie.
"By the time you found out, it was too late." Meredith said, "You were busy and not watching the future."
"So...it's my fault Bella's dead?" I asked, feeling my eyes filling with waterless tears.
"No! No!" Meredith said, "Of course it's not! If anyone is to blame it's Edward - it was his decision. I'm just saying that you meeting Jasper changed the course of the future. I'm sure I don't have to explain fate and destiny to someone like you."
"No." I agreed. I of all people knew that one tiny event could change a whole course of events. It could create a domino effect, changing something that wouldn't happen for hundreds of years. And my meeting Jasper wasn't exactly a tiny event...
"Are you okay?" Meredith asked, placing a hand on my shoulder, "I know you're close to Bella."
"Well, it's not real, right?" I said, "I mean, this is just some made up universe to show me what life would be like without Jasper. Bella's still alive in real world, right?"
"Right." Meredith said reassuringly
"So exactly how long am I staying here?" I asked
"As long as it takes." Meredith told me. I rolled my eyes.
"Vague." I commented.
"You should go back to the house. Edward's upset and the rest of the family are wondering what on earth's gotten into you." Meredith told me.
"A little extra info would have been useful." I told her, "A heads up maybe? Ya know, Edward killed Bella three years ago, don't bring it up, okay?"
Meredith shot me a look, "I can't tell you everything about this life. The point of this is that you learn things for yourself."
I rolled my eyes, "I'm failing to see what the point of this really is."
"I'm not going to explain this to you again." Meredith told me, "You have to learn this lesson on your own."
"You're about to leave aren't you?" I asked
"Yes." Meredith said, "I'll see you soon, Alice."
"Bye Meredith." I said as she disappeared. I turned back to the house and began making my way back. How was I going to explain myself to my family? I winced as I realised how insensitive I must seem, bringing up Bella after what had happened. I felt like kicking myself.
Instead of going back to the living room when I got back, I headed up the stairs, hearing Edward up there. I followed the sound to a door and knocked lightly. "Edward?"
"Go away Mary." Edward's voice replied. I ignored his request and pushed the door open.
"Edward, I'm really sorry. I don't know what came over me." I said, "I...it was like I had a memory lapse or something. I really am sorry."
"Whatever." Edward replied. I lingered in the doorway. I wanted to tell him everything - about how I'd been put into this other body, about Meredith, about his love for Bella in the real world. But Meredith had said that I couldn't tell anyone. And then I realised...Edward could read my mind. Couldn't he read every thought I was having about telling him?
"Edward?" I asked
"Yes?" Edward said
"You know what I'm thinking, right?" I asked
"Yes." Edward said again
"What am I thinking right now?" I asked
"You're confused about my mind reading." Edward said
"That's it?" I asked, pushing thoughts of Meredith, Jasper, and the other life to the front of my mind.
"That's it." Edward said. Weird. "And now you're thinking that it's weird. Why is that weird?"
"Never mind." I said, quickly exiting the room. This was...interesting. So Edward wasn't completely hearing my thoughts? That was something I was going to have to look into. Or ask Meredith about next time she chose to appear in my life.
"Mary?" Emmett was knocking at a door down the hall, but turned when he sensed me, "Oh, there you are."
Relief washed over me as I realised that he'd just revealed which bedroom was mine, as I'd had no idea before. "Hey, Emmett. Were you looking for me?"
"I just wanted to see if you were okay." He said, "You looked upset earlier before you left..."
"I'm fine." I said, which seemed to be becoming my catch phrase of the evening. I smiled at Emmett, "I'm just gunna chill in my room."
"Sure." Emmett said, returning my smile, "I'll go find Rose."
Emmett bounded down the stairs to Rosalie and I opened the door that Emmett had been knocking on moments ago. Inside the room was cluttered with stuff. Possessions - things I had no use for in real life. Because I had Jasper - and he was the only thing that I needed. I crashed onto the bed, closing my eyes and picturing Jasper's face. I must have learnt my lesson by now? I knew I needed him! I loved him!
I opened my eyes. I was still here, in this other life. Apparently, Meredith didn't think I'd learnt enough. Just how long was I going to have to stay here?
A/N: Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed, favourited or followed! :) :) :) :) Let me know what you thought of this chapter... :) Next update soon :) :) :) :) :)
