Umbrella of Lies

Chapter 2: Love and the Power of Suggestion

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Nabiki came home from school a little later than usual. She'd stayed after to use the school's computer lab. One day, when she was out of the house, she'd buy her own computer, a nice one. But for now she couldn't risk it. With her family, it'd be broken within three minutes of being taken out of the box.

"I'm home," Nabiki said, as she opened the door. She removed her shoes, but kept her backpack close.

It was surprisingly peaceful inside. Her father and Mr. Saotome in panda form were playing Go nearby. As she walked into the kitchen, Nabiki saw Kasumi tasting soup from a big, boiling pot.

"Hi, Kasumi. Have you seen Akane? Or Ranma?" Nabiki said. As an afterthought, "They aren't in trouble, are they?" Nabiki had learned long ago that a peaceful house usually meant Akane and Ranma were getting into trouble elsewhere.

"Akane's upstairs doing her homework," Kasumi said. "And Ranma's out in the backyard. He said he'd be training until sundown."

"Thanks."

Ranma was in the backyard. He was lying in the sun, head propped up by a huge stack of comic books. As he flipped through one comic book, he chewed potato chips and swatted a nearby fly.

"Training until sundown, huh?" Nabiki said.

"Oh, hey," Ranma said when he saw her. "What's up?"

"Not too much," she said, opening her backpack. "I have a date with Kuno Friday night, but other than that—"

"You what?" Ranma said, rolling off his stack of comics. "He asked you out? And you agreed?"

"I asked. He agreed," Nabiki said.

Ranma began to laugh. "And here I thought you were the smart one. Do you have any idea what a date with Kuno will involve?"

"Flowers and chocolates to begin with," Nabiki said. "After that, a nice dinner, a movie, coffee and dessert, some shopping afterwards—"

"Oh, wait," said Ranma. "On second thought, I feel sorry for Kuno. Why did he agree to go out with you?"

"About that," said Nabiki, taking a folded sheet of paper out of her backpack. "I wrote an article for the school paper, and, if it's good enough, I'm going to submit it to the local paper, too. Can I read it to you? I want your opinion."

"Uh, okay," said Ranma. "But what does that have to do with Kuno?"

"Just listen and you'll see," she said. "It's called 'Love and the Power of Suggestion.' "

Nabiki glanced at Ranma, but he just looked puzzled.

"You may remember that rainy day my sister Akane found an old umbrella decorated with hearts and marked with the words 'Umbrella of Love,' " Nabiki read. "Those who stood under the umbrella together fell instantly in love. Even the bitterest enemies gazed into each other's eyes as if in a dream. You all saw it. And you thought to yourselves, The urban legend is real! The Umbrella of Love does exist. But I'm here to tell you that it was all just a sham. What you saw wasn't love or even magic. What you saw was the power of suggestion.

"As you may know, when something is shown or suggested to a person often enough, they begin to believe it and then to act on it. This, in essence, is the power of suggestion, and I wanted to see if it really worked. So I set up an experiment using the urban legend of the Umbrella of Love as a test case.

"One rainy day, before school, I decorated my umbrella with the hearts and wrote 'Umbrella of Love' on it. Then I hid it where my sister usually puts her umbrella. I dropped hints about the Umbrella of Love being seen on school all day long. In particular, I made a point of telling Tatewaki Kuno, knowing he'd believe in the legend. Sure enough, once Kuno saw the umbrella, he was more than willing to test it.

"While Kuno played the believer, I played the skeptic. Everyone saw me dripping with disdain over the notion of a magic umbrella. Everyone saw my skepticism melt away to the tender blush of love when I 'accidentally' landed underneath the umbrella with Kuno. And Kuno-baby, acting upon the power of suggestion, convinced himself he was in love with me. Everyone saw us fall suddenly in love as we stood under the umbrella, and so everyone assumed the Umbrella of Love was real.

"And now the stage was set for others to fall under the power of suggestion.

"As lovers, wanna-be-lovers, and enemies moved underneath the umbrella together, they fell in love through sheer force of will. So potent was the power of suggestion that when Ranma Saotome landed underneath the umbrella with Takewaki Kuno, the two mortal enemies stared as if seeing each other for the first time, clasped hands, and—"

Nabiki had to stop reading at that point because the paper was ripped violently from her fingers.

"It's a lie," Ranma said, crumpling the paper. "It's a lie, it's a lie, it's a lie!"

"If it were a lie," Nabiki said, "would I be able to set up a photographer in advance?" She took out a photo of Kuno and Ranma under the umbrella. "After all, I can't write a juicy newspaper column without some juicy pictures."

Ranma snatched the picture from her hands and tore it to shreds. That was her second photograph destroyed today.

"Ranma, Ranma," Nabiki said, shaking her head. "Do you really think you'll get rid of the evidence as easily as that? You should know me better by now."

Ranma glared at her. "Let me guess. You want money."

"Whatever made you think that?" She smiled. "Just for keeping quiet about the article. Kuno's buying the pictures, after our date."

"I don't have any money," Ranma said.

"Gee Ranma, if you don't care that the whole school knows that you were holding Kuno's hand in your male form of your own free will—"

"You can't tell anyone!" Ranma said, waving the crumpled article. "You can't send this to the paper!"

Nabiki twirled her hair. "Convince me."

Ranma went into the house. There was a splash. Seconds later out came Ranma in girl form, wearing a revealing bikini. Happosai was attached to her hip.

Ranma pried Happosai off and struck a pose. "Very well, you may take as much pictures as you want."

Nabiki laughed. "Don't be silly Ranma. I have thousands of those kinds of pictures. No, I think your boy-half is much more useful."

Ranma's eyes narrowed. "What do you want me to do?"

"Well, it does appear that there are many girls who'd pay for the privilege of going out with you. There's Shampoo and Ukyo and Kodachi—"

"Not Kodachi!" said Ranma in horror.

"Don't worry," Nabiki said. "I've already got Kuno to pay for me, and there's no point in drawing from the same source twice. Actually, I've already gotten two strong offers from Shampoo and Ukyo. Let me make some calls, and I'll get back to you on when you're going out with who."

Nabiki turned to walk back to the house, but Ranma sprang ahead to block her way.

"Who says I'm going out with them?"

Nabiki smiled. "If you're worried about Akane, I'll be discreet, I promise. She won't hear a word about this."

"And why would I care," said Ranma.

Nabiki resisted the urge to roll her eyes. "Then I don't see what the problem is. There are so many more humiliating ways I can get money from you. This will barely be painful to you." She wormed her way past her, opened the door, and went inside. "Most guys would love a chance to date two beautiful girls. You should thank me for being so nice."

Ranma continued to follow her up the stairs. "How do I know that if I go out with them, you won't blackmail me again?" she said.

"I backed up my story on a disk. After I get paid for your services, I'll give you the disk."

"You'll just write the story again."

"I wouldn't bother. The school newspaper doesn't pay for articles."

"And you promise you won't say anything to anybody," Ranma said.

Nabiki stopped in front of Akane's door and lowered her voice just the slightest. "Of course I won't," she said. "This is a business proposition, nothing personal. I'm not out to ruin your reputation. I'm just out to make a little cash."

She opened the door. Akane was sitting at her desk. She had the tired-but-satisfied look of someone who had just finished her math homework.

"Akane," Nabiki said. "I wanted to ask you a favor. I'm going on a date with Kuno-baby, and I'd like—"

"With Kuno," Akane said. "Why on earth would you agree to that?"

"Because she's milking him for all he's worth," said Ranma, coming up behind her.

"I need someone to come along to make sure he doesn't take advantage of me," Nabiki said, ignoring Ranma. "Can you come with us?"

"On your date with Kuno?" Akane said. "Won't that be awkward? I mean a date with three people—and Kuno does kind of like me." She made a face.

"It won't be awkward if you bring a date," said Nabiki. She had to be very careful here. She didn't want to play her hand too soon.

Nabiki turned to Ranma. "Ranma, why don't you come with us too? After all, you two are engaged. It will be like a double date."

Ranma and Akane looked at each other. For moment, Nabiki thought the two were actually considering it. But then, like clockwork, Ranma opened her big mouth.

"I suppose I could go with that uncute tomboy," Ranma said. "After all, who else would want her?"

"Who asked you?" Akane said. "Why would I want go out with a jerk like you anyway?"

"Macho chick."

"Jerk. Idiot."

Nabiki sat down on Akane's bed and began looking through a magazine. Honestly, would those two ever learn?

Finally Akane said, "I'd rather go out with a pig than go out with you."

"Fine by me," Ranma said. "See if I care." The door slammed behind her.

"Are you finished?" Nabiki said. "Oh, good. Now, listen, if you won't go with Ranma, you'll need to go with someone else. I know." She snapped her fingers. "I have a friend who owes me a favor. Why don't you go out with him?"

"A blind date? I don't know," Akane said.

"Look, sis, you and Ranma are engaged, but you aren't really a couple—" Nabiki began.

"Damn right, we're not a couple!" Ranma shouted from the other side of the door.

Akane flushed. "Well, if that's how you feel, then maybe I'll go!" she yelled at the door.

"Great," said Nabiki, standing up. "It's at 7:00 on Friday night. Your date will meet us at the restaurant. I know you'll like him. He's very different from Ranma. He's quiet."

Nabiki left quickly, before her sister could change her mind. So far, everything was going as planned. She'd collect from Kuno and Ranma and pay back Gosunkugi all in one weekend.

This was going to be fun.