It wasn't the best of days when Ace got the call. Luffy had been running a light fever, and the doctor had told him there was nothing to do about it, except to give Luffy lots of fluids and wait it out.
"You gotta be kidding me," Ace complained, as he flipped his phone open. He started walking toward his room. "Yo Jinbei! What's up?" Meanwhile, in the living room, Thatch and Marco watched over a fussing Luffy, who suddenly made a discontent whine.
"Oh what's Luffy?" Thatch cooed. "You want your binky? Yesh you do~ Oh yesh you do~"
"Stop that," Marco muttered.
Thatch paused from dangling the blanket over Luffy's face. "Stop what?"
"The fake baby talk; it stunts language growth. They learn more when you talk in a normal tone." He turned to the baby in question. "Isn't that right, Luffy?"
Luffy stared back, then began to whimper.
"Don't say it," Marco warned. He didn't have to turn to know that Thatch was sporting a smug, shitfaced grin.
"Hey I wasn't even planning to. Isn't that right, Luffy~" Thatch tucked the blanket under Luffy's chin, then smoothed the downy tuft of hair with his fingers. "So where'd you learn that bullshit?"
"A science journal."
Thatch couldn't even find a word to describe how stupid that sounded.
"Hey, it's probably more accurate than your crappy parenting magazines."
Thatch sputtered. "Oh what? Because my sources aren't as boring as yours?"
"More like, they're not backed by scientific evidence."
"Well, have your 'scientists' ever even had kids?!"
"You assholes," Ace growled from behind them, looking even more pissed than usual.
"Ace, you alright?" Marco asked.
"No. Cuz you guys are upsetting Luffy."
Indeed, during the loud squabble, Luffy started to fuss again. Ace shoved past the both of them and sat down on the carpet. He started rocking the laundry basket, trying in vain to ignore the questioning stares he was getting, until he finally gave up. "My family's lawyer called."
"Shit," Thatch swore.
"Yeah," Ace agreed.
"Well, what are you gonna tell him?"
Ace watched as Luffy's eyes start to flutter closed. "I'm going to tell him that I'm doing fine. School's fine. Everything's fine."
Marco didn't say anything; his stare did the work. Ace, we've been through this.
Ace glared back. Yeah, and you're not changing my mind.
Marco threw his hands up in resignation. "Do what you want."
"I wish I could. But Jinbei actually wants to grab lunch with me."
"So? Just go, then."
"But…but Luffy's sick," Ace whined.
"Ace," Thatch snorted, "It's only a few hours. Nothing's going to-"
"Stop," Marco interrupted. "You're going to jinx it. Like in the movies, when someone says, 'what's the worst that could happen' or 'we're almost there'? That's when shit does down."
"You're so paranoid. Isn't he, Luffy?" Thatch turned back to Luffy with a goofy face. The now-sleeping infant answered with a light sneeze. "Why yes, Marco is a big paranoid dum dum."
"Fine then. Finish your sentence."
With a smirk, Thatch opened his mouth. Then closed it. "Oh great. Now you're making me paranoid too."
"Hey. Better safe than sorry." Marco looked over to a forlorn ace, who was lightly poking at Luffy's chubby cheeks, but not hard enough to wake him up. "If you're really that worried, then why don't you take him with you?"
"Ha. Hilarious, Marco." Ace sighed, admitting to himself that he didn't really have a choice. "You guys will take good care of him, right?"
"Obviously."
"Scout's honor!"
A/N: For those of you following this fic, you're the best. I should probably warn you that this story is going to be a mess of writing styles, moods, and word counts, and will swing between angst and dumb fluff. Also, Marco and Thatch are gonna hang around for a few more chapters, but I mainly want this story to be about Ace and Luffy. Well, we'll see how that goes.
Also, I update very sporadically. But I do promise that I will eventually finish this fic.
