Pain In My Heart

Pain In My Heart

Chapter 3

The next day, Lily was released from the hospital wing, her head perfectly painfree. She went straight to the Great Hall where breakfast was still held to meet her friends. In a very good mood she fought her way over to the Gryffindor table where Kat, Anita, James and Sirius were sitting and greeted them with a happy "good morning".

"Lily!" Anita called with a trace of reproach in her voice. "Where have you been all night? We were so worried about you!"

Lily told them about the accident and all four of them were outraged about what Severus had done.

"That git! He'll pay for that!" Sirius spat.

"He didn't do it on purpose –" Lily tried to defend Severus.

"You can't be serious! That's just the thing he would do!" James said.

"No, really –"Lily began but Kate interrupted her. "Wait a moment", she said suspiciously. "Since when are you standing for Snape? Don't tell me you've suddenly discovered a liking for him!"

"No, of course not!" Lily said quickly. "How could I? He's teased me enough to last me a lifetime." But at the same moment she realised that this was not true. It was a startling thought but she realised that she did actually like him since that accident that had changed everything. And now she came to think about it – she didn't only like him but almost –

No, stop that, Lily! she told herself firmly. Just because he has been nicer than usual to you doesn't mean...yet she couldn't stop thinking of him.

***

On Friday Severus went to the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom quite early to have a little time for himself. He looked out of the window into the Hogwarts grounds his mind on Lily. In the last days he had become aware that he actually loved Lily, there was no mistaking in that longing he felt when he thought of her. But would she love him back? He looked at his own reflection in the window pane, at his greasy black hair and his sallow skin. Will someone ever be able to love me? he wondered.

***

It was also a completely different Lily who made for the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom this evening. She was actually looking forward to this session, eager to see Severus again but at the same time dreading he might be his former unpleasant and sarcastic self again. How could she be sure this time on Tuesday hadn't been an exception? He might have been too shocked to be unpleasant to her or his feelings had changed again? What if it's all over? Lily thought. Her heart beating very fast she opened the door to the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom. Severus turned away from the window and – he smiled as he saw her. Lily's heart leapt. No, he hadn't changed since the last time, he hadn't gone back to being sarcastic to her. Lily smiled at him too.

"Hello", she said shyly.

"Hello", he returned warmly. "Are you alright again? Listen, I wanted to apologize again for hitting you so hard with that curse –"

Lily waved a hand. "It's alright. It wasn't your fault." She smiled. "Let's start practicing, shall we?"

"Yes, of course", Severus nodded. "Now, show me the wrist movement you make while blocking a curse."

Lily took her wand and waved it somewhat awkwardly.

"No wonder the spell doesn't work, you're doing it wrong." Severus said. "Look here." He showed her a very elegant movement with his own wand. Lily tried again and failed once more.

"Let me show you", Severus said, taking her hand in his and guiding it. Lily felt a strange prickle as he touched her bare skin.

"Got it?" he asked releasing her hand. "Try on your own now."

Lily felt a bit disappointed that he had released her hand so quickly. It had been a good feeling as he had held it. She tried the movement again, now doing a bit better.

"Good. We're getting there. Now you have to think firmly on blocking the curse. Concentrate on it. And then say 'Fermato'. I'm going to disarm you now. Ready?"

Lily nodded. She held her wand in front of her, trying hard to concentrate on the thought 'block it'. That, however, was rather difficult since her thoughts kept drifting back to the moment as Severus had touched her hand. She just couldn't help thinking of it. And as Severus finally sent the disarming charm on her (this time a much weaker one) she failed again. Her wand soared into the air and Snape caught it.

Lily gave a sigh. "I really don't know how I shall ever manage that!" She went to fetch her wand from Severus. But not being able to tear her eyes away from him and not paying attention she tripped over the hem of her own cloak and just as Severus said: "Don't worry. We'll man –" she bumped right into him losing her balance. Severus caught her in his arms.

Blushing crimson, Lily looked up at him. "Sorry", she mumbled. "I –" Their faces were iches apart, she could feel his breath on her face. For seconds that seemed like an eternity they held each others gaze.

My God, thought Severus, she's so beautiful. And as if being drawn to her by magic he pulled her close to him and kissed her for all he was worth. She smelled of roses and he breathed in the smell as if he'd never smelled anything so sweet before.

Lily put her arms around him, running one hand up his spine and making him shiver. His lips were warm and soft on hers. Her heart was pounding against her ribcage. She hooked her arms around his neck thinking Please don't ever let this stop.

He kissed her more fiercely, running his hands through her hair, pressing her still closer to him. He could feel her trembling in tension and breathlessly he kissed her again and again, hungry for more.

Lily felt giddy, there was a roaring in her ears and the overwhelming sensation that took place in her made her knees give away. Against her chest she could feel his heartbeat. He was kissing her so forcefully now, it was almost hurting. But she didn't care. She just wanted it to go on and on.

After what seemed like hours they broke apart, both out of breath and exhausted but happier than they had ever been in their lives.

"I love you", Lily whispered.

"I love you too", Severus whispered equally.

Once again they gripped each other in a tight embrace. Lily put her head on Severus' shoulder and thought: This is the happiest moment in my life!

Several minutes passed with them just standing there holding each other silently.

At length Lily murmured: "I've got to go. It's near midnight already." She brushed his cheek with her hand and went out of the room to her dormitory.

***

This night neither of them could sleep. Lying in bed, staring through a gap in the curtains of her four-poster at the starry sky, Lily turned today's events over and over in her head. This kiss had been breath-taking, overwhelming. Still shivers were running down her spine when she thought about it. She was longing to experience it again, to feel him, smell him, taste him again.

***

Severus had eqal thoughts as he lay on his back in his bed staring into the darkness. Just like her he couldn't forget that kiss. And he was aware that from this moment on he needed her more than anything else. He was dying to see her again and it seemed like ages until next Tuesday when they would meet again. Filled with an almost unearthly yearning he finally fell into an uneasy sleep.

Next and last chapter probably by tomorrow.

Thanks to:

Rajia, Mirth02, Snifflez Wifflez and some girl.