Adam McFadden shifted uncomfortably as he sat in the plastic chair across from Mr. Zwiger. He glanced at Brian who had just muttered softly, "Poor little orphan boys". He frowned at him.
"Daniel seems to have a well of anger that perhaps might be better dealt with in some sort of formal setting." Mr. Zwiger said.
Adam had to laugh. Zwiger was definitely new at this, and was a little too chicken to out-right suggest therapy. Although, he supposed two country ranchers would be intimidating to a city man like Zwiger. He thought about feigning a deep offense at the suggest, but decided to instead let Zwiger off the hook.
"Daniel went to therapy about a year or so ago. He went for about eight months. It really helped him a lot. I went too, for that matter." He said matter of factly, enjoying Zwiger's look of surprise.
"Oh, well . . ." He was clearly flustered.
"If Daniel needs to go back that's no big deal, but I think this is all an overreaction. Daniel isn't Crane." He said watching as Zwiger began to fidget.
"Oh, well, no one is . . ."
"Everyone is concerned that they are going to miss something again. The school doesn't want any more headlines like last year." Adam felt a little guilty about enjoying the poor man's discomfort. "Danny he hit Billy because he was mad at Billy - not because his parents are dead."
"Oh, I wasn't suggesting . . .Mr. McFadden, I am just trying to do what I think is best for Daniel, and his teacher and I both have some concerns about . . ." Mr. Zwiger began but Brian cut him off.
"That is it." He said angry and Adam reached for his arm giving him a warning look. "Did you ask Dan'l what Billy said?" Zwiger shook his head, embarrassed. "No? He was mean."
"Well, it isn't uncommon for boys to be mean on the playground." Zwiger said.
"And it isn't uncommon for boys to get into fights." Adam said.
"Billy Jr. even admits it was mean. He told Daniel that he doesn't blame him for hitting him, because what he said was so mean. We appreciate you looking out for Daniel and being cautious but sometimes a fight is just a fight."
"I suppose you are right. How about a compromise of sorts? I'll recommend we keep an eye on things and meet again if necessary." Mr. Zwiger said.
"That sounds reasonable." Adam said rising.
"I just want to say . . ." Zwiger said and Adam thought, Here it comes. ". . . you are doing a remarkable job with your brothers. Your parents must be so proud."
"Thanks." Adam said trying not to show how annoyed he was. People were always saying things like that - how brave they were; how noble; how courageous; how proud their folks would be. It annoyed the hell out of him. He wasn't any of those things. Just a year after their parent's deaths there was a whole article in the paper about them - The McFadden Boys - One Year Later. Brian found the whole thing hysterical, and used it to his advantage with the female population. It just pissed Adam off. He didn't like pity. And he especially hated when strangers who had never even met his parents would tell him how they thought his parents felt. Zwiger didn't even his parent's names and here he was telling Adam what they felt; as if he knew. He shook Zwiger's hand and left the room as quickly as possible.
Brian immediately pulled his tie off as they stepped outside. "Stupid waste of time!"
"Got that right, brother." Adam said. "Geez, I hate crap like that! Hey, let's grab Crane. He's about to catch the late bus."
Brian nodded and they walked around the side of the school to where the buses waited. They saw Crane coming out of the science hall.
Crane had grown as tall as Adam and Brian, but weighed a good thirty pounds less. Lanky didn't even begin to describe him. He was unbelievably skinny - especially when you considered how much food he consumed. He remember just last week riding home with Crane from the store with all their groceries. Adam reached into a bag to pull out an empty gallon of milk, and Crane sheepishly admitted he had drank the entire thing on the drive home. Crane had a baby face that made him look younger than seventeen which drove him crazy. As a result, he had announced three days ago he was growing a mustache. So far it had come in somewhat patchy and surprisingly red. Crane was almost always on the late bus. He had been taking extra classes since his freshman year, and as a result he would graduate a year ahead of schedule.
"Hey! What are you guys doing here?" Crane asked.
"Oh, we had a stupid meeting. Want a ride?" Brian asked.
"Hell, yeah!" Crane said tossing his bag into the back of the truck. The three of them climbed in and Adam drove away from the school, loosening his tie as he did.
"Was it about Daniel?" Crane asked.
"Yep, but nothing to worry about." Adam said glancing at Crane.
"They're just being overprotective." Brian said. "They keep calling us in over stupid stuff." He looked out the window.
"Because of me." Crane said looking down.
"Nah, man." Brian said. "Don't . . ." He sighed.
"Crane, it's fine. We talked to the counselor. Danny's not in trouble and I got out of the hot sun for once." He glanced at Crane and reaching over squeezed his knee. "Don't stress out pal."
"Yeah." Crane said but he sounded depressed.
Adam glanced at the side of Crane's face. Crane was such a quiet and steady brother. He'd been just fourteen when their parent's had died, and the quietest of them all about their deaths. He had simply kept going facing his freshman year without his parents at his side. He worked hard both at school and on the ranch; studying to find ways to improve the ranch. He was patient with his little brothers, and Adam often included a thankful prayer that Crane was such a helpful and dependable brother. Which is why they had all been shocked last year when he began to struggle. Adam now knew that he should have realized something was wrong when Crane brought home a D- that need to be signed. His one and only D. At the time, he had just laughed and Brian had said, "Welcome to the club, little brother!" Later, they were sorry they hadn't asked him more about it.
They weren't the only ones to blame either. It turned out that before all the trouble started, Crane had gone to see the school counselor four times, and every single time was told he would be "added to the schedule". The counselor said, "I'm working my way through meeting with all the seniors, so I don't have to meet with underclassmen just now. I'll put you in though, as soon as I can."
Later, after everything was completely sorted out, the school launched a thorough investigation. Not only had Crane gone to see the counselor, he had written an essay about his struggle that no one had bothered to read, and on the day before he disappeared, sending Adam into a frantic nightmare for the next three endless days, he had asked permission to use the phone to call home. He had been sent back to class. At the end of all the newspaper articles, letters to the editor and investigations, the school had apologized and the counselor dismissed. Brian had wanted revenge and to see pretty much every single adult on staff fired, but Adam, just grateful to have Crane back told Brian to let bygones be bygones.
The school had taken a long time to find a replacement for the counselor. It was never easy to convince anyone to come and work in such a small and rural area. It was only recently that Mr. Zwiger had taken over the position. And the school itself had become paranoid about checking in with the McFadden brothers - not wanting to have any more headlines about failing to identify a student who was in trouble. Adam and Brian got calls "just checking in" about once a week.
As they pulled up to the house, Adam watched Crane climb out of truck and trudge up the steps. He was a portrait of worry and shame. If Adam had learned one thing from the whole horrible experience of last year, it was not to put off checking in on Crane.
"Hey, Crane!" Adam called him back out onto the porch. Crane sighed and dropping his backpack just inside the door, he walked back to Adam.
"Listen, I can see you are stressing out about Daniel, but it isn't your fault and nothing bad has happened. I can't have you all depressed and upset every time we get called into the office. What happened last year, happened, but it's over now. The school screwed up. They really let you down. I let you down. What happened was because of that - not because of you."
"You didn't let me down." Crane said looking up surprised.
"Yeah, I did. I should've noticed you were upset." Adam said.
"You are too hard on yourself, Adam. I wasn't talking and made a point of hiding from you. I guess you are right. It just bugs me that because of what I did, Danny has to get picked on, and you and Brian have to put up with the school calling every ten minutes."
"Oh, well that isn't so bad. Everyone's grades have gone up." Adam grinned. "And no one is going to get away with cutting class. Lighten up, buddy." He reached out and pulled Crane into a hug still amazed that his little brother wasn't little anymore. He released Crane who nodded at him, but still seemed worried.
"It's not just this thing with Danny that has me upset. It is . . ." He sighed.
"What?" Adam asked.
"Wait. I'll get the letter." He disappeared in the door and came back out holding a folded up letter. He handed it to Adam.
"Crane!" Adam said surprised as he read it. "But this is amazing! Why are you upset about this? This is awesome! Brian! Brian!" Adam said going inside the house and into the kitchen where Brian was studying a cookbook with an apron on.
"What?" He asked looking up.
"Adam, I don't want everybody . . ." Crane said. He had followed Adam inside protesting the whole way.
"Read this." Adam said handing the letter to Brian.
Brian looked down at the letter and after he had read it, gave a shout and hugging Crane picked him up off the ground. "Way to go, little brother!" Brian cheered.
"Oh, knock it off." Crane said pushing himself away, but Brian kissed his cheek.
"What's going on?" Daniel asked coming into the room, followed by his younger brothers.
"Crane here just got a very important letter!" Adam said turning to his brothers.
"I don't want . . . Adam can we talk about his first?" Crane asked looking panicked and stepping between Adam and his younger brothers.
Adam looked at Crane's face remembering how troubled he'd looked riding home in the truck. "Yeah, okay." He said. "Look fellas we will talk about it later. You go on and do your chores." They trudged out grumbling.
The three oldest brothers sat down at the kitchen table. "What is it?" Adam asked.
"It doesn't matter what the letter says," Crane said matter of factly. "It is too far. I'm not going."
"Too far? Too far from what? Murphy's? Are you nuts?" Brian said angrily.
"Too far from the ranch." Crane said firmly. "I am not going."
"The hell you aren't!" Brian stood using his height to intimidate.
"Sit down, Brian!" Adam said. "Crane, we should talk about this."
"I'm not going, Adam." Crane said. "I can't."
"Oh, please!" Brian groaned. "You are going if I have to tie you up and drag you there. You hear me? You are going!"
"No, I ain't." Crane said and Adam's eyes grew wide.
"Listen, there's some things I just won't tolerate and bad grammar is one of them." Adam said seriously and Crane shook his head with a grin.
"I'm not going." Crane said again. Adam studied his little brother wondering what was going on in that head of his. He was the smartest kid Adam had ever met. He could go on for hours about math formulas or some new discovery in science. He had started taking the PSAT his sophomore year because he had heard it increased your chances of performing well. Colleges had started contacting him even then. They would get letters every few months. He had been so proud, and so happy too that finally soon there would be a McFadden in college. Looking at Crane now, he wondered why he should be so upset about this letter. Crane never liked to talk about things until he'd really thought them through, and Adam could tell he wasn't ready just yet.
"We can talk about it later, Crane, okay? After homework hour maybe? You think about what you want to say, okay. Go on, you've got chores." Adam said and both he and Brian silently watched him leave.
"Thanks Adam." He said looking back over his shoulder. "I'll think of how to explain, but I am not going."
"He's going!" Brian said angrily as soon as he was sure Crane was out of earshot. "He'd be nuts not to! Did you read that letter? They'll pay for everything!"
"Brian, we can't force him to go! Look, don't forget just because Crane is smart and calm, unlike you, he's still a McFadden. And you ought to know better than anyone no one can make a McFadden do something they don't want to."
Adam tturned away from Brian who muttered to himself, still irate at Crane's stubbornness, and left to go find Daniel, who was no doubt, worried about the meeting with Zwiger. Even as he walked from the house to the barn where Daniel was working, he kept one eye on Crane in the distance. Parenting is exhausting, he thought for the hundredth million time since his parents had driven away in the truck on that hot July night three years ago.
