I ignored Emmett and just stared at the wall. I figured that in about an hour I would have a significant amount of blood loss that I would die or be beyond saving. I scooted myself against the wall and pulled myself up. My mind and body was going crazy; the room was spinning and wouldn't stop no matter how much my mind screamed, I was slowly losing feeling in both my arms, and I didn't know how much energy I had left. I pushed myself off the wall using my back as a lever and walked (more like stumbled) around the bathroom to the tub. I didn't care if they were in the room or not. I wanted to die and they weren't going to stop me no matter what. My mind was set... and they couldn't do a damn thing about it. I started the water it was hot but not scolding. There was a mirror behind the bathtub and I looked into it. You could see the entire room from the mirror. Alice wasn't breathing and looked as if she was losing an inner battle with herself. She kept twitching, one foot stepping forward; yet her hands clawed into the door. I didn't know if it was the blood lust or her wanting to stop me. Emmett was in the same spot I left him in except he was looking at me. I met his eyes in the mirror for a split second. He slowly stood, like a lion about to go in for the kill. As if that wasn't bad enough he had his cellphone out and was talking to someone. I then knew he didn't care. He wasn't trying to stop me, not that he could but it still hurt that he wasn't even trying. I looked down at my wrists which were still pouring the blood then at the tub which was over two-thirds full. I took off my Tokio Hotel face tee and Barbie pink denim pants (which I got from Hot Topic) but left on my black and red lace bra and thong set. I slipped into the tub; the water instantly turning a light red/pinkish color. The hot water stung at my wrists and the cuts on the palms of my hands and both my legs. I didn't know exactly what was going to happen; I didn't really care as long as my suffering wasn't going to last. I wanted to go numb; I didn't want to feel the now constant ache in my chest... the feeling of my heart being stabbed repeatedly. I sunk into the water feeling weaker with every move. The water was now up to my chin and it was so red I couldn't see my body beneath it. I took one last deep breath and sunk my head down under the water as far as possible. My lungs were starting to burn as I knew they would, but that didn't bother me. Knowing that all the pain was going to end in a little bit of time I smiled. The last thing I thought before I let the darkness take over was
I'll miss them. I really will.
Emmett's POV
I was frozen in fear. I just watched Bella someone I deeply care about slash her wrists, and now drowning herself. I was itching to move towards her; to pull her out of that deep blood colored water. I knew if I did then there was a possibility I would bite her. I didn't want that to happen; even if her deliciously smelling blood scent was filling the room I wanted to fight it and save her. I held my breath (no breath no smell). I looked over at Alice who was still after about half an hour clawing her hands into the door. I listened for Bella's heart beat hoping she was just thinking about drowning herself. After a second or two I found it; her heart beat was very faint almost undetectable.
Oh god. Bella's dying.
I rushed forward flinging myself towards the tub as fast as vampire possible. My shoulders rammed into the wall, leaving little dents. I reached down into the water and found her shoulders; I pulled her up out of the water. Her head lulled back against my shoulder, and her body was completely relaxed. I didn't know what to do. She wasn't breathing and her heart seemed to be failing. I took in a deep breath. I laid her down on the floor, tilted her head back, opened her mouth and blew air into her mouth. The whole CPR thing was new to me, and I hoped it would work. I took another deep breath and blew it into her mouth. I did it a couple more times before I heard the faint intake of breath. I looked down at Bella and realized she had started breathing on her own faintly but on her own none the less. I touched her left wrist and realized they were barely bleeding now. I hoped that was how it would stay. I held Bella close to my chest, and turned to look at Alice.
"Get out. Her blood is causing you 'pain' obviously. Save yourself the trouble." I told her softly.
Alice looked as if she was in real pain. I could see it in her eyes. She looked at me before nodding. She turned around quickly and left. I looked down at Bella. I was scared for her. I didn't want her to die; I don't think I could take it. Without her the Cullen/Hale family would fall apart, she was the glue that held us all together; she had became such a major part of our lives... My eyes filled with tears that I knew could never fall. I hugged her close to me and gently rocked her back and forth against me; my shirt staining an ugly red.
"Emmett?" I heard Carlisle's voice yell out. My head shot up quickly; I had to say... thank GOD for cell phones.
"I'm in the bathroom. Hurry."
Carlisle came bursting through the door a black leather satchel in hand. He looked around the room. First his eyes stopped on the broken mirror and the glass lying below it covered in a puddle of blood. His eyes followed the stream of blood to the bathtub. He gasped at seeing the blood red water; finally his eyes shifted to me sitting in front of the tub, covered in Bella's blood holding her in my arms. He rushed over and immediately had me lay her on the floor so he could examine her. I scooted back against the wall; I wasn't for sure if I would have been able to make it to the door. I watched as Carlisle took her left wrist in his hand then the right. I had no clue as to what he was doing. He put her hand down and began pulling things out of his satchel.
"Emmett I need you to leave the room. I know you're worried about her, but I need space. Go out in the sitting room and wait with the others."
I started to protest but then thought better of it. If my leaving the room helped him save Bella then I would do it. I walked out of the room my shoulders hunched forward. I stared at the floor as I made my way down the hall towards the sitting room.
"Emmett, honey are you okay?" Esme's soft voice sounded out around the room.
I looked up, I wanted to smile and say everything is fine but I knew it would be a lie and so would everyone else. She rushed over to me and pulled me into a hug.
"Bella..." My voice broke. I really didn't know if she would be able to live. At least I didn't know if she would be able to live without being turned into a vampire.
Esme pulled back from me and looked me in the eye. "Bella will be fine. Bella will be fine." She repeated, as if trying not only to reassure me, but also reassure heself.
"Alice will she be alright?"
"I don't know. Her future is flickering. She doesn't know why she should live." Alice paused. "If she is turned into a vampire, the one thing I do see is her running to the Voultri asking to be killed and they accept, for they know what she will do if they deny her, her wish."
"You're lying. You have to be." I was hoping beyond reason that she was lying.
"I wish I was."
As I was about to say something else Carlisle walked into the room. His shirt was covered in blood and was soaking wet. He took a deep breath as if calming nerves. He ran his hands through his hair and looked at us all.
"Is Bella alright? Is she going to be?" I wanted to know... no I needed to know.
"I have examined Bella. I stitched her wounds on her wrists, and got her to stop bleeding. I gave her some blood thinners, but beyond that without possible harm to her I can't do anything." Carlisle wouldn't look me in the eye as he told us.
"What is her chance of survival without one of us changing her?" Jasper asked. I was wondering the same thing.
"Without a miracle...she won't live...even if we bite her... it's all up to her now... she has to decide for herself if she wants to live...or die..."
