Heart felt thanks go to my amazing beta harritwifan!

The song for this chapter is Never Gonna Be Alone by Nickelback.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own anything Twilight. This story contains boy/boy lovin' of all sorts, so please do not read it if you don't like that sort-of thing. And you must be 18! Duh…


Ch. 3 – Never Gonna Be Alone

Jpov

No. Don't wanna wake up. Not gonna. I refuse.

I feel too warm. Safe and content. Such unfamiliar feelings surround me from the top of my head, to the tips of my toes, throughout my body, within my beating heart.

Mmmmmnnnnn… Memories of last night's events filter into my sleep laden mind. Edward… is here… in my arms. Will I confirm my senses, if I dare open my eyes?

I barely peek through one eyelid… then two. The first thing I see is his sexy tousled copper hair framing his beautiful sleeping face. Next, I take in a contented expression that slightly turns up his delicious lips, still swollen from our many passionate kisses of just a few short hours ago. He lays beside me in the crook of my arm, holding me to him, his leg across both of mine.

I try to enjoy this moment. Edward came back… to me. For me. I try not to let questions and insecurities creep back in. I try not to worry that the slumbering smile that currently graces his face will morph into regret when he awakens and realizes what we did; when he remembers what I did to him, that I fucked him senseless. And it felt so damned good.

I remind myself that he came to me – he asked me. And we not only fucked, but we made intense love, committing ourselves to one another. He wants me as I do him. I know this to be true. I must hold onto this knowledge – must remember what I was so certain of as we drifted off to sleep, mere hours ago. Together.

I quickly push such musings to the back of my mind and instead concentrate on the delicious ache growing in my groin; my usual morning semi is quickly becoming a rigid, raging hard-on as I fully appreciate his gorgeous sleeping form. Having finally experienced him last night has only left me craving more. I barely swallow a moan at the thought of the many things I may now do with him, to him. All of which I've imagined so many times before, but now they hold new meaning as they are actually possible.

Endless possibilities…

Mmmmnnnn… I'll take him from behind, roughly claiming his ass as mine once more. Fuck, yes… with that image I reach down and squeeze my increasingly aching cock.

I'll help him to ride me while slowly and gently making sweet love to him. Baby, need you… I begin fisting my erection, slightly thrusting into the needed friction.

And I can't wait to experience the amazing thing that is his mouth – wrapped around my cock, finally. Please, baby… I'm going to cum if I don't stop this line of thought. But I am reminded of finally sucking and tasting his cock just last night. And I can't wait to do it again, but completely this time, until he comes down my throat.

"Ungfff…" Shit, shit, shit!

Edward stirs in my arms, my audible groan having drawn him from his slumber. He snuggles in closer, grazing my leg with hardened evidence of requited lust. His gorgeous eyes flutter open revealing endless green as his smile spreads to encompass all of his beautiful features, brightening his face further.

"Hey," he whispers, raising a hand to caress my cheek.

"Hey," I whisper back, shifting so that we are both on our sides, facing each other. I reach up to run fingers through his hair. It always looks as though he has just been fucked or has just done some intense fucking. I smile at the thought that - this morning, I can take credit for that.

"Mmmmnnnn… what a way to wake up", he sighs, quirking an eyebrow as he pulls me to him for a languid kiss, reacquainting his mouth and tongue with mine. And there it is again. That feeling of coming home, of being complete – that everything is right in the universe.

We finally pull our mouths from each other, breathless. Relief washes over me for the remorse that my boy is obviously not feeling. I rest my forehead against his and ask, "Did you sleep okay, baby?"

He gives me his fuck-hot, crooked grin. "Fuck, Jas, I love the way you call me baby. It's so… intimate." His cheeks tinge pink as he suddenly becomes shy. Continuing in barely a whisper, "I slept like a baby, in your arms."

"Well, we are intimate now… so very intimate. Aren't we?" I mischievously wink, deepening his pink cheeks to almost full blown scarlet.

"Indeed we are, love," he answers, offering his own endearment for me, and damn I love how he calls me love. The few times he'd uttered it during our lovemaking had almost pushed me over the edge, climaxing just at his words. And the warmth that just that one word spreads throughout my heart…

"And how are you feeling this morning, baby? I hope you're not too sore?" We both grin as I accentuate the endearment while his blush deepens again at my question.

He burrows his face into my neck as he answers, gently rubbing up and down my arm. "I'm a little sore, I guess. But in a good way."

He pulls back enough to look at me and begins to gently stroke my face as he continues, "Last night was amazing, Jasper. I never knew it could be like that. You made me feel things that I didn't even know were possible."

His eyes drop as he suddenly seems timid. I watch with amazement and wonder as his thick eyelashes flutter. He's so fucking beautiful and finally here in my arms. But why the sudden change in demeanor?

"Edward, sweetheart… look at me?" I lift his chin until his gaze meets mine once more. "What is it?"

"Just… um… I guess I was just wondering… well, what I mean is… is it always like that for you? You know… with other men?" he nervously inquires as his scarlet returns. He is just so damned cute!

I lean in to softly caress his lips with mine, trying to show him just how special he is. Clearing my throat, I try to find the words to make him understand. "No, Edward. It's not always like that… like this. In fact, it has never been like this for me with anyone else. Making love to you was the best experience of my life. And being here with you, like this, is the happiest I've ever been. You are special to me. You have to know that…"

Swiftly, his mouth seeks mine with brutal urgency, our tongues attempting to explain what mere words fail to define. Our legs become entwined as we grind together, bare cocks meeting, groans mingling, hands grasping, as we promptly approach the brink of oblivion. "I just can't get enough of you, baby… won't ever be able to get enough…" I mumble into his hot mouth as our tongues fuck.

Gasping for air, Edward pulls his mouth from mine, leaning his forehead to mine. He grasps my body to his, stilling our movements, yet keeping us so close and tight to one another.

"Fuck, Jasper. The things you do to me… you're gonna make me come already, love. But not yet. Okay? Just let me look at you..."

He studies my features, tracing them with his eyes and then fingers. "You are so, so beautiful," he whispers as his thumb brushes across my bottom lip, sending tingles through my mouth, straight to my cock. My eyelids flutter shut in anticipation of his lips joining his heated gaze, but I instead feel his thumb lightly trace a path up to beneath my eyes, gently rubbing back and forth there. I open them to find his features marred with concern. Understanding dawns as I remember the dark circles that have taken up permanent residence there these past months.

"I'll never forgive myself for causing your eyes to look so tired and sad," he whispers, before lowering warm lips to pepper soothing, light kisses on the offending area.

"No longer sad, Edward. You've made me the happiest man alive," I manage to mutter under his hypnotizing ministrations. "There is nothing to forgive, baby. You did nothing wrong. I'm just so glad your time away brought you back to me…"

He pulls back, shaking his head, "Shhhhh, love. No… never again will I be the source of sorrow or regret for you. Never. I'm so sorry for being far away. I won't leave you, again."

"Edward, baby… I forgive you. I love you. I have loved you all along." He must understand beyond a shadow of a doubt that I love him and forgive his initial reaction to that love. But he can't return the intensity of my feelings, yet…

"I love you, too, Jasper. So much. When I decided to face up to your feelings for me and my returned feelings for you, my life irrevocably changed. Forever, Jas. You are my life now."

Or can he?

Yes. Yes, he can. And apparently he does.

Then his lips resume feathering kisses on my eyelids and below, but quickly expand their attention to my forehead, then each temple. I bask in his affections, feeling the wounds from years of longing and recent months of loss heal on the spot. He is the antidote to the poison of his absence.

He continues kissing across my cheek, down the line of my jaw to my chin. His lips leave a heated trail down the front of my neck and across to my shoulder as he gently caresses my hip with his long fingers. He pushes himself up on his elbow kissing around my shoulder, pulling me forward a bit to gain access to where my upper back meets the back of my shoulder, finally stalling to lay open mouthed kisses on the black and gray shadowed ink that resides there.

"Mmmnnnn… your guardian angel. Your grandmother..." he murmurs.

"Mmm-hmnn," I smile, remembering my sweet grandmother of whom inspired my first tattoo.

His mouth then travels down to my bicep, lingering there before he withdraws to lightly trace with his thumb the black inked chain that circles there, almost completely surrounding my upper arm except for where two of the links are broken, appearing to have been pulled apart.

"And this one is for your freedom." He states as he continues to stroke it lovingly, having heard the story behind it a few times.

"Yes," I proudly confirm, always feeling pride when I think of what the broken chain signifies. I'd gotten it in my early twenties shortly after coming out, finally having broken free of the chains of my closeted life.

I realize where this is going. Edward is working up to inquiring about my newest ink of which he wouldn't have seen before last night. The mark of him, permanently etched on my chest just above my beating heart. The heart that will always be his.

His fingers and gaze whisper across my flesh, leaving warmth in their wake, settling on the most recent tattoo. "You got another while I was away? I was a little too preoccupied last night to ask about it…" he grins as he explores it with his fingers, his curiosity evident in his eyes as they glance back and forth between mine and the tattoo. He waits for my explanation.

My hand blankets his over the tattoo of a small black key with green accents, of which appears to dangle on a chain. I lean in to kiss his sweet lips as I try to think of how to explain.

Finally I pull away from the safety and warmth of his mouth, again greeted by his inquiring eyes.

Here goes… "After you left, I thought I'd lost you forever. All of you. Not just the man I'd been secretly been in love with, but also my best friend. I was devastated."

He flinches at my words, guilt marring his beautiful features. I immediately try to reassure him with a gentle, chaste kiss before continuing.

"I knew I had to move on and get over you, but I also knew I'd never feel for anyone as I did for you. You held the key to my heart, baby, whether you wanted it or not. And even if you'd never returned my feelings, you would have been it for me. I just figured I'd tuck you away in my heart, and try to live my life without you, but I'd always have you near me, inside. Am I making any sense?" I sigh, slightly shaking my head, feeling like I'm just rambling. But Edward pulls me closer. Calming me with his presence and the adoring look on his face, silently giving me the time to continue.

"So, I had this key… the key to my heart that would always belong to you… etched near my heart… the heart that would always only truly be yours. Even though, at the time, I never imagined I'd get to be close to you again, and most certainly not like this, I wanted a symbol of you to always keep you near. To always remind me of the amazing man I'd been so lucky to have in my life."

A smile lights his face. He sighs and cups my face in his gentle hands. "Thank you, Jasper. Thank you for giving me your heart, even when I didn't know it was mine, and then, especially, when I ran from it like I did." Leaning down, he places light kisses on the inked key and then pulls me into his arms, before continuing. "How did I not see? I just feel like I wasted so much time, blind, not seeing that what I truly needed and longed for was right here in front of me the whole fucking time. I felt so damned alone… but I think deep down inside I knew it was you… that I was supposed to be with you. I only felt right when we were together; I just didn't know it could be like this."

I reach up and take his hand in mine, holding them, entwined to my chest between us. "You can't look at it that way. No time was wasted. Every moment spent is what brought us here to this moment. And I wouldn't change this moment for anything…"

Too late, I realize I've lost control of my emotions, as a tear escapes to roll down my cheek. Finally having my heart's desire realized, finally having my love here with me, finally being able to tell him how very much he means, and him, finally, returning my love – has me overwhelmed.

He kisses away my tear, then whispers, "I wouldn't change this moment for anything, either. I'm here now, sweetheart. You'll never be alone again. I won't miss another day."

I nod against him as he nuzzles along my jaw, tracing wet, open mouth kisses to behind my ear. Once again, we switch to physically defining this thing between us, our words spent for now.

He continues his sensuous path to the crook of my neck, causing me to groan and grind against him.

"Mmmnnn… what have we here?" he teasingly questions as he gently sucks my neck, sending visible shivers throughout my body. "Did I just find Jas's love spot?"

I grasp him to me, searching for friction for my throbbing erection as I groan, "Unghh… my what spot?"

He chuckles, causing his heated breath to mingle with the wet warmth of his mouth. "Your love spot… the spot that sends shivers straight to your dick…" he answers before lightly licking there, meeting my thrusting hips with his own.

"Fuck yeah, baby… then that's my love spot, all right. And speaking of my dick… fucking touch me already, Edward. Please?"

And then he proceeds to completely blow my mind as he reaches between us and grasps our thrusting cocks together. "You mean like this? Touch you like this?" he questions, breathlessly.

"Oh shit, baby. Yeah. Just like that… fuck, feels so good."

We pull far enough away from each other to rest our heads together, both of us looking down at our joined erections. So fucking erotic we look and feel, our cocks rubbing together in my boy's tight grip. I grasp onto his shoulder as we fuck his fist, now desperately chasing our mutual release. I begin to loose control quickly, having been hard and wanting since waking. The delicious burn too quickly spreads from my balls throughout my entire body.

"Fuck, Edward. I'm so close, already. You're cock… ungh… feels… fuck… cumming, baby!"

Unable to hold off, thrusting into my lover's fist, I yell his name on a moan, as the white, hot cum rips from my pulsing cock, painting our stomachs and further lubricating his fist. He continues to pump us both. As I come down from my orgasm, he begins his.

With one final thrust against me, he rigidly stills his body while frantically jacking our cocks with his wet fist. "Fuck, Jas. Ohhhh… fuck…. I'm… cumming! Soooo… good!" Cum erupts from him, mixing with mine as he yells.

Then, something happens that I've never experienced before. The visual of him so wantonly eliciting his climax mixed with the overwhelming sensation of him still fisting my ultra-sensitive cock against his causes my barely burnt out orgasm to reignite. The burn returns with a vengeance as I am paralyzed by additional spurts of my own ejaculate joining his. Time stands still as the white heat consumes me, blazing through my mind and body.

Finally, we collapse against one another, heaving for breaths. As I begin to return to my senses, I wonder… what the fuck just happened? I've either just experienced the world's longest orgasm and/or the two closest orgasms in history. But who am I to question it? Fuck, it felt amazing. And I tell Edward exactly that.

"Fuck, Edward. That was amazing. You… are amazing."

He chuckles while caressing his fingers through the semen on our stomachs. "As are you, my love," he whispers reverently. My heart swells and my cock already starts to harden again at the erotic intimacy of his feather touch lubricated with our mixed fluids. Cocking an eyebrow, he holds up his sticky fingers and nods towards the mess that is us. "Shower?" he suggests, with a mischievous grin.


Thanks so much for reading! I'd loved to hear what you think…