Notes: I am still a little stumped on my main story, so I typed up what was easily coming to mind; just so happened to be the next chapter for this! Probably because my play through with Fenris is the freshest in my mind. Mhm. Oh well, I am loving this story myself, so it all works out fine. = )
What little Hawke owned was moved into Sebastian's royal estate not shortly after that letter had arrived from Aveline. The prince hadn't given her much opinion on the matter, not willing to put her health at risk to appease her overwhelming ache to hide. She didn't have much time; she was a Spirit Healer, after all. It would be a disgrace if she didn't have any knowledge of the body's signs of impending child labor; Sebastian wasn't about to put her child's life at risk, either. It was a tenacious thing, at best.
Stress did not exactly help her keep her body calm and restful. The thought of Fenris catching her was a constant nag at the edge of her thoughts, her dreams, and she could not escape from it. Vaguely, she wondered if it really would be such a bad thing if the elf found her; he could not hate his own child, could he? She feared the answer to that, almost as much as she feared the idea of being a mother.
"Oh well," she muttered quietly to herself as she took stock of her new quarters. "It's not like I can run from this. The Maker does have a sense of humor; Bethany was right."
The room was large by her standards, even larger than the one she'd acquired when they took the Amell estate back from slum-lord slavers all those years ago. A large, king sized canopy bed lay against the fall wall, framed in nicely by a nightstand and wardrobe. There was even a fireplace, coaxed into a side of the room by a crimson carpet and matching recliner-of-sorts. Dressers even, with a large looking glass in which she was more than welcome to admire or loathe her image; an often daily struggle to decide which she truly deserved.
While she was admiring, she failed to hear the door open. Sebastian stood for a moment, leaning against the jam with a shoulder, his arms crossed across his chest. A gentle smile flitted across his lips as he cleared his throat to alert her to his presence. She jumped with surprise and turned, a hand pressed to her breast; when she saw who stood there, she sighed a breath of relief.
"Give a girl a heart attack," she complained with a smile that betrayed her faked irritation.
"You have my sincere apologies," Sebastian replied with a chuckle. "I just wanted to check on you, see how you are settling in."
"This is far more than I deserve, that I can assure you." The mage paced away from him, turning to show her back as feelings she had buried tried to make themselves known. She was beginning to realize that in his presence, she had no control of her emotions; he really was the only friend she had to lean on.
Sebastian frowned at her words and took leave of his perch, moving toward the downtrodden woman who all but seemed hopeless, like she had all but given up. He placed his hands on her slim shoulders and squeezed them reassuringly. "You deserve only the best, Hawke – you're going to be given the greatest gift the Maker has to offer us besides eternal rest at his side; a child. Don't let your estranged relationship with Fenris take away from that."
He heard her sigh but saw the movement of her nodding. "Aye, you are right, Sebastian." She turned, causing his hands to slip from her shoulders, and smiled. "As usual," she added that last bit just because she could.
There was a mutual silence between them, an almost comforting lack of noise. It was such a strange thing, a strange feeling, to have quiet moments such as these. When she had been in Kirkwall, the whole city had always been buzzing with some noise or another. She had felt as though she would never have a moment's peace among the city's seemingly endless parades of chaos.
Sebastian seemed to retreat a step, growing uncomfortable for some unknown reason she could not place. His brows were suddenly drawn together, giving him a somewhat perplexed expression. "Sebastian?" she questioned him with his name, ever so softly, touching the tips of her fingers to the back of one of his hands. He jolted, blinked several times, and then avoided his eyes from her own.
"There was something I wanted to discuss with you in private," he said after a moment.
"This is as alone as we will get, Sebastian," she had to point that out with a slight tinge of amusement in her voice as she swept her hand out to indicate the empty expanse of her chambers.
He smiled sheepishly, but did not bring his eyes back to her. If she didn't know better, she could have sworn to the Maker that he only seemed to grow even more uncomfortable. "It is a rather delicate topic to touch upon," he admitted. "Come, let's sit." He took her hand in his and drew her to the sofa in front of the unlit hearth, first seating her before seating himself; he retained possession of her hand, gently brushing his thumb across the back of her knuckles.
"I admit I have grown more than fond of having you around, Hawke; do not get me wrong though, I would never force unwanted feelings upon you in a state as such as yours. You are a dear friend to me and I wanted you to know that I will always be here for you, no matter your need." He paused a moment to gauge her expression; when he saw that she seemed accepting of his words, he continued on. "I…I also wanted you to know what your child will have a father, if you so wish it. I would step in to care for you both; I would never let either of you suffer." He watched as her eyes widened to an impossible size. It reminded him of a doe who'd been caught by surprise. He couldn't help the smile that nagged at his lips. "If…If the child should take more after your appearance than Fenris', I…I would also allow you to say that the child is of my blood." He tried to choose his words carefully here. "The child would be better off as such, than a half-breed elf, who could very well end up being a mage."
Hawke's expression darkened and she was quick to pull away from him, rising to her feet to pace away. It seemed he had not been able to express himself quite the way he had intended to. There was a long stretch of silence, before she turned back to him, her expression a touch lighter than it had been a few moments ago.
"I would not have you go out of your way – should the child indeed inherit my abilities, and there is a real good chance of that occurring, I would not want you to be tied to us. It would do you no good to say you spawned an apostate," her tone was almost bitter, not that he could blame her. Sure, he believed the Circle of Magi was the better option when it came to free mages, but it was never something he had wished upon Hawke; she had always been the exception. She spoke again before he could pipe in with anything. "This…this child, despite the way things have gone, will always be Fenris', Sebastian. Should he find us, I will not deny him the knowledge of his offspring."
Sebastian frowned but nodded in acquiescence. "As you wish, Hawke, but please don't forget my offer. It will stand indefinitely should you decide otherwise."
Days passed without incident but Hawke had begun to feel more lethargic and weary as time went on. After too long, she told Sebastian she was ordering herself strict bed rest for fear of impending labor; Maker forbid the child decided to be born when she was away from the company of those in the estate.
It was a warm day, without a cloud in sight that her peaceful time finally came to an end; ironically, it was fitting in a weird sense. The cramps came on hard and swift, without warning, wracking her entire body with pains. A gush of fluid escaped from between her thighs and she gasped, hands clutching at her belly in a desperate attempt to alleviate some of the pain by sending waves of healing magic forth to her body and her child's.
Just as she would have hollered out Sebastian's name, a loud crash echoed throughout the house and everything was suddenly in an uproar of voices and sounds of clamoring objects and frenzied steps.
Fenris stood at the edge of the tree line surrounding the Prince of Starkhaven's estate. It had taken him weeks to travel the distance on foot, then days to extract the information he was looking for. Indeed, an apostate had been seen in Sebastian's company, first housed in a small cottage on the property, and then rumored to have been moved into the prince's own home. His fists were clenched at his sides, his markings flaring so brightly he was silently thankful it was daylight out; his anger was that great.
It wasn't where she was housed that was eating away at his patience. It was the other rumor. The one where the apostate that the prince consorted with was heavy with child; the child rumored to be the bastard of Sebastian Vael.
She really is no different from any other damn mage. He growled, his fists clenching so hard that his nails bit into his palms, drawing blood. She'd consorted with another so shortly after we were together. It's unforgivable. And after I went through all this time and trouble to track her down…
His lip curled in disgust and he spat angrily at the ground. "I should have known better. I always should have known. She is a mage."
His eyes, half hidden under long locks of silver white hair, glared menacingly at the manor before him. He could not harm Hawke; as much as he wanted to, he could not. However, he could at least pay a visit to the damned traitor who'd dared to lay his hands on her…why did that bother him so horribly?
Growling, he swung his great sword from his back and ran to the door of the estate, kicking it down viciously. "Sebastian Vael! Come out and face me like a man!" He screamed the words into the empty room before him, his chest heaving and his brands burning so hotly he was afraid they'd burn his skin clean off his bones. He began kicking and breaking things out of impatience as he awaited the arrival of the prince who was in much need of a good ass kicking. He was more than happy to oblige.
Sebastian's attention was drawn away from the many documents piled up on the desk in his office by the sound of inconceivable commotion coming from what sounded like the main entry hall downstairs. He couldn't make out the voice through all the noise of objects breaking, but that did little to nothing to stop him from bolting to where his bow hung. He grabbed it up and notched an arrow quickly, before running from the room on silent feet to the staircase; whatever threat was making itself known to him would pass no further, not with Hawke in his home.
What he saw stopped him cold in his tracks. He didn't dare lower his bow as he took aim on the elf, taking a direct aim on the enraged man's chest where below his heart lay. "Fenris! Stop this madness!" He snapped out, more than effectively gathering the elf's attention.
Fenris turned his enraged eyes to the man standing on the staircase, his fingers twitching restlessly on the hilt of his blade; could he impale the man before he had a chance to set loose his arrow? As much as he hated to admit it, he doubted that he could. "I will do no such thing!" He growled out.
"Just calm down, Fenris. You need to calm down."
"I will not calm down!" Fenris snapped out, his fingers tightening impossibly hard around the hilt of his sword. "You…you touched her! She is to birth your offspring." His voice was now suddenly deadly quiet, filled with bitterness and disgust; and something else the prince couldn't quite place.
Sebastian shook his head fervently. "No, Fenris, my friend, you are mistaken!"
"I am not mistaken! You two are the talk of Starkhaven; every able body whispers of the bastard the prince has sired with an apostate."
"No – you are mistaken, Fenris." This was not the voice of Sebastian, but a soft, feminine reply that came from the top of the stairs. Fenris' eyes snapped to the figure now, very slowly, descending the steps of the hall with her arms folded over her very large belly. Her features were guarded, her expression as empty as she could possibly make it; he knew her too well to fall for that. There was pain there, he knew.
"I am not mistaken." He said again though it was clear his anger was wavering. His brands dimmed in their brightness and he dropped his sword onto the tiled floor in a show of defeat; he could not kill in front of Hawke, even if he'd wanted to. He was surprised to see that Sebastian rid himself of his weapon as well.
"You are…" Hawke gasped and clutched at her protruding stomach. Despite the healing she'd performed on herself, she could not stop all of the pain that was coming with the labor. "…mistaken. The child…Fenris, the child is yours." She collapsed to her knees then with a sudden sob and Sebastian was at her side in an instant, swinging the woman into his arms.
"You…you lie." Fenris refused to believe this ruse.
"She does not lie, Fenris."
"I was not aware of this when I left, Fenris. I did not find out for well over a month after I left. By then…I was too afraid to return," Hawke said the words through stifled sobs, clutching at her stomach where the baby inside of her had begun to send jolts of pain through her body more frequently to alert her that it was ready to come into this world.
Fenris couldn't breathe. It was suddenly as if someone had dropped something impossibly heavy on his chest; they might as well have. The light coming from his brands was suddenly gone and he was left standing in a stunned silence. "My…child?" he breathed the words as an experiment, to see how the word felt coming from his own lips. "You are carrying my child?"
"Not for much longer," she gasped suddenly as her head dropped back. "Sebastian! To the room; it's coming, the baby is coming!"
Sebastian did not wait for her to say it twice. As soon as the words had left her lips, he was taking the steps two at a time in his haste to get her to her bed chamber where she could safely become a mother. Fenris wanted to follow, he knew that somewhere inside, but he could not move. It was as if he were rooted like a tree to the tiled floor. He could only watch as Hawke was taken away, his body trembling with the revelation that he would soon be a father.
Notes: I didn't necessarily want to stop here, but I am tired and it seemed as good a place as any. Poor Fenris; I don't believe I have ever seen him speechless. =D
