A/N: Thanks for the reviews! They're like crack to me. Only since I've never tried crack, maybe they're like Crème Brule. Mmmmm. Anyways, thanks a lot, I hope it continues to entertain!

Disclaimer/Confession: I cry myself to sleep every night because I don't own Scrubs or the characters therein. So very sad.

"Man, you gotta go for it," said Turk as we slid through the lunch line in the cafeteria. He grabbed three sugar-free jell-o cups and dropped them on his tray before moving on to consider the next desert item. "It's gotta go to someone who'll enjoy it. Dude, imagine if Kelso picked Dr. Beardface and Colonel Doctor. They'd like, sit around in smoking jackets puffing cigars and swishing around brandy or somethin'. They wouldn't take full advantage of what could possibly be a life-altering five days! Damn, if it was you and me going, we would rip it UP, yo!" He stopped in front of the assortment of cake slices and snagged a piece of yellow cake with chocolate frosting. "This sugar-free?" he asked the server behind the counter. She shook her head slightly while rolling her eyes. He asks every day, and every day he gets the same bored response. He puts it on his tray anyhow, glancing around to see if anyone (read: Carla) saw him before sidling up to the cashier.

I wasn't feeling especially hungry today. I'd only picked up a Fresca and some sort of salad, but I couldn't even tell you what kind of salad it was. I couldn't focus well enough to tell because I was thinking so hard about the conference. Thursday had finally rolled around and I hadn't dropped my slip off at Dr. Kelso's office yet. I don't really know why I couldn't come to a decision, or why the choice seemed to matter so much to me, but it did. I paid for the meal and went to sit with Turk, who had a table with Carla and Elliot nearby. I slumped into the empty chair and idly picked at my food.

"Still haven't made up your mind, JD?" Elliot asked quietly from across the table. She looked at me with a combination of concern and annoyance, and I could tell she had made up her own mind. She wanted to go, and that made me feel even worse about considering taking the trip in the first place. I shrugged.

Carla sighed at me. "Come on, Bambi. You can't keep dragging your feet like this. It's been three days. You have to consider other people's feelings in the matter." She placed a hand on Elliot's shoulder as she said that, which made me cringe inwardly. Elliot had been talking to her about it, I was sure. I choked down my feelings of guilt over that and brought the matter at hand back into view. I had to decide today. The deadline was fast approaching.

Turk had just opened his second jell-o cup when he said, "Baby, leave the man alone. He needs time, can't you tell this is a tough one for him?" He gestured with the jell-o as he spoke, using it to punctuate his thoughts. It was such a lovely shade of red, and it jiggled magnificently. I really wished at that moment that he'd squeeze it extra hard and it would land right on my plate so I could eat it. I wouldn't care about the lettuce and little bits clinging to it. I just really desperately wanted that jell-o. But instead of squeezing he kept talking. "Don't really understand why it's so tough for him, but anyway, Elliot, why don't you go let Kelso know you wanna go, and then you two can duke it out later if JD decides he wants to go. It'll take a little pressure off for now, give him some room to think." Turk dumped the entire contents of the jell-o cup into his mouth at that point, sadly. I think I drooled a little.

Elliot eyed me as she stood to leave for Kelso's office, and Carla eyed Turk as he processed the jell-o. "That better be sugar-free, or we're not playing Find-the-Goldfish when we get home."

"Dude!" I whispered excitedly to Turk. "Find-the-Saltine, but with Goldfish crackers?!"

His mouth full of jell-o, Turk could only nod at me, eyes wide and grinning, as if to say "Hell yeah!"

"What about the cake?" Carla continued.

Turk choked slightly before finally swallowing and nodding at his wife. "Made special, just for me!" He made a show of turning around to face the cafeteria worker behind the counter. "Thanks again, Willamena!" Willamena only rolled her eyes.

I smirked at their exchange. It really would be great to be able to go to the conference with Turk. We'd sponge up new information and techniques all day, compare notes over drinks, then go out for some wild and crazy nights.

"C'mon, man! I got tickets to the new Cirque du Soleil show!" I'd grab Turk, we'd dress in some swanky club-ready woman-killing attire, and head off to be entertained.

We'd sit right in the front row, clapping like excited kids at the antics of the performers, gasping in surprise as they started climbing atop one another's shoulders, reaching high up towards the rafters, and when the two climbing people-vines looked ready to topple, they'd twine together, wrapping around each other gracefully.

We'd cheer nerdily, "Double helix!" and clap until our hands were numb. But oh no! The towers would start trembling, and the skinny kid holding up one of the helices would begin to fall. I'd leap majestically onstage, arms akimbo, and then I'd charge into the mayhem. Pushing the kid out of harm's way, I'd slide into his place, holding up the performers with my manly strength and steely resolve.

"Woohoo!" I'd yell out, basking in the glory of the audience cheering enthusiastically at me.

The kid would frown up at me. "You big jerk! That was part of the act!" And then he'd give me a swift kick in the shin, causing me to fall ungracefully and be crushed by the falling troupe.

"That's what you get for putting a twelve year old Chinese kid on the bottom of the chain!" I shook off the reverie, clutching my leg while lying on the floor. Again with the shin kicking! What the heck is up with that?

Turk held out a hand to help me up. "Cirque du Soleil again?"

I nodded ruefully. "They should have a barrier to keep audience members offstage."

Carla ignored the whole ordeal and took a bite from her fruit plate. "Alright JD, last words from me on the matter." Turk snickered at that, but she kept going. "Are you leaning towards going, or staying?

"Yes," I said, hoping to sound coy.

She smiled at me in that knowing way, and I was pretty sure she knew which was I was leaning. I just needed that one last little push to swing me over into the "definite" category, and she was about to deliver that push. "Think about yourself for once. Do what's right for you. Not for Turk, or Elliot, or Dr. Cox."

Dr. Cox? I hadn't even brought him up, hadn't entered him as a player in the game of Conference Tug-of-War. Though when I thought really hard about it, he would be on both teams, twin Perry Cox's, both snarling and seething. The game could go either way. If I went, he could disapprove of me kowtowing to Dr. Kelso and The Establishment, or he could approve of my go-and-get-'em attitude and newfound information. If I stayed, he could disapprove of my hesitancy and lack of, well, man parts, or he could approve of my lack of desire to be One of Them.

But the longer I thought about him, the more I realized that Carla was right. I remembered the last time he confronted me about the matter, when I had won the right to go to Reno. I also remembered how I'd replied to the confrontation.

"You know, I don't care what you think," I had said, hoping it was true.

"Yeah, you do," Dr. Cox had said, crushing that hope.

I immediately knew he was right. "I know. Look, I wanna be like you… but a more successful you. There's nothing wrong with playing the game once in a while."

The look on his face hadn't registered right away. I was too caught up in the moment, too scared of the words that were pouring out of my mouth, fearing that at any time now Dr. Cox would launch into a tirade or punch me in the face. But as I looked back on the moment I recognized the… defeat, I guess. And as I look back on looking back, I realize that look was the same he had on the morning that Dr. Kelso told us about the conference.

Then he was there, in the cafeteria entrance, looking annoyed. Who knows with what. But in my mind he was annoyed with me for not making a decision, and so I did.

Carla must've seen the resolve in my eyes. She looked taken aback. "Oh, my God. You actually listened to something I had to say, thought about it with minimal daydreaming, and came to a decision without injuring yourself or others! This, this right here?" She pointed at the table in front of her. "This is a proud moment for me! Bambi, you've made my day!" Carla picked up one last strawberry from her plate and bounced up from the table, giving me a smooch on the cheek. She blew Turk a kiss, popped the berry in her mouth and pranced happily away. On the way out she passed Dr. Cox, who looked very intrigued by the exchange. He cocked an eyebrow at her as she went by, but she just smiled sweetly at him and went back to work.

Turk turned to look at me. "Well? What are you gonna do, man?"

I faced my best friend. I knew Dr. Cox was still in the room, leaning against a pillar and watching us… judging us. Alright, if he wanted to play hardball, that was what he'd get.

I held up four fingers.

"Huh? Four? Four what? Ooohhhh!" Turk's eyes went wide with glee. "Charades! Yeah, we're gonna rock this, dude. Okay, four words?"

I nodded, holding up my first finger, and then pointed at myself.

"Scrubs. Shirt. Umm, you." I rocked my head back and forth, hoping to pull off a "kinda close" expression. "JD. Okay, uh, oh! Oh, oh! Vanilla Bear! Oh crap, that's two words in itself. Damn…"

I sighed, and pointed at my eye, nearly poking myself in the process.

"Eye? Oh I!" exclaimed Turk proudly.

I nodded, holding up two fingers, and leered at his third, unopened jell-o container.

"Want! Dude, too easy, keep goin'!"

Grinning, I held up three fingers, then two.

Confusedly, Turk said, "Two? Oh, to… 'I want to!'" He laughed. "Man, the suspense is killin' me here!"

Taking a deep breath, I held up four fingers. Closing my eyes, I pointed with all of my might towards the window.

"Yeah!" Turk fist pumped and punched me in the shoulder with said fist. "You go, JD. You go and get 'em! I hope you get it, and I hope you have the time of your life!"

Even though I wasn't sure about Turk's statement, I knew I was making the right choice. Heck, it might not even pan out. I might get to go, or it might be someone else, but at least I'll have put my name in and given it a shot. At least I'll have tried.

I was feeling pretty good about myself as I listened to Turk babble on about what I should do if I was chosen to go to Las Vegas, but then I remembered who had been standing a few yards away, watching our impromptu charades party. I glanced up, but Dr. Cox was gone. I wondered briefly if he had left in disgust or pride, but pushed him out of my mind. The moment was mine. I gathered my thoughts and finished up my lunch. Time to go see Dr. Kelso.