LET THE SILLINESS BEGIN.
Careful, you might get a bad case of "wtf" from reading this
THIS IS A-O DISLCAIM-O
"WHO ARE YOU?!"
Was that...
"YOU'RE ASKIN ME? WHERE IN SAM'S HELL DID YOU EVEN COME FROM?"
No...It can't be...
"NO NO NO NO NO OH GOD HOW DO YOU KNOW MY NAME?"
Is that...the voice of a woman?
Sniper lowered the gun from his eyes, astounded. That can't be possible, a woman, here?
In the middle of battle?
Forcing his gaze from the field, Sniper listened to a very frantic Engie argue over the ear piece while the other surviving members that were not going through respawn started barking at the same time.
"Crikey." Headaches everywhere.
…...
"NO STOP! GET BACK OVER HERE! DAG- NABBIT!" Engie stayed glued to the entrance, tortured over whether to protect the intell or chase down the foreign woman zipping straight into the fray. His teammates would give him hell for it for sure, yeah... but, this was civilian here! Right?
A lady at that.
Making a grunting noise that likened to an annoyed bear, he chased after her. She was fast, extremely fast, and weird. He was in the room when she crashed from the ceiling like a pile of bricks, leaving a giant burning hole above their heads. Right in the intell room. The sentries didn't even attack her, which was strange enough, in fact, they grew a pair of legs and started running out of the room. Ungrateful little bastards.
"STOP! Hoo wee." Engie couldn't keep up, she rounded a corner and was gone, he asserted his hat and covered his mouthpiece.
"Guys! She going outside!"
"Who's the skirt?!" Scout's boston accent rised, Engie scoffed, how the hell was he suppose to know?
"Huddda hudda hudda hudaa?" Pyro joined the convo. Not productively, he...she...it was talking about a bunny it saw run across the field. It got blown up.
"Iluvevery, single… one of ye…boooooooooooooom goes ther weasaawwl." Demo's more-drunken-than-usual voice slurred.
"Whoa Demo are you drunk right now? You can't be serious we are on the job!...Got any booze left?" Dammit Scout.
"MOND DIEU! Listening to you all is making me STUPID." The frenchman's agitated voice only joined the slur of the rest of the team, questioning where the girl came from, and the dying voices of a billion robots on the other side.
"AH DON'T KNOW YOU IJDITS!" Engie shouted, "Someone catch her!"
….
"Crikey." Sniper had abandoned his post in search for a new one when the bots finally done Heavy in.
Ironically by another Heavy bot who killed Heavy's sandvich, the death of the sandvich sent both heavies into a spiraling depression in where Heavy bot comforted Heavy, but then asploded from the severe sadness. Taking both of them and a pissed off Medic back to their spawning areas.
Everything was going down the shit river on a shitty boat made of Jarate jars and a Heavy's colossal dead body singing under the glow of a thousand sandviches. Sniper was half tempted to Nope Worm is way out of this mess but then that would require having no bones. This just made him sad.
He ran down a flight of stairs hoping to make a clean break
"BLOODY...OH SHIT." The bot was a Pyro, evil lingered behind it's lifeless eyes, and it sent heebie jeebies down his spine. Before he pulled out a jar of Jarate the Pyro started to short circuit and crashed right on top of him. The heavy metal junk landed ungracefully crashing the jar anyway, covering them both in pee.
"Oh no." The soft woman's voice hovered near the door. Sniper pulled the Pyrobot off him in time to see the blonde woman, terrorfied, and gone in a flash.
He could have sworn he saw lightning in her fingertips.
