'Rocky's' was a live house. Anna explained it to me then, a place where musicians of many different kinds came to perform their music. Music, an expression of one's feeling. The actual definition: vocal or instrumental sounds combined in such a way as to produce beauty of form, harmony, and expression of emotion. It took me quite a while to be able to understand these words.
There were four people working here, the 'master' whom they call who runs the entire live house, Anna or was both a customer and a worker there, and side character A and B... which is what Anna usually calls them; Kuni and Karl. Apparently the live house was open for more than twenty years and the current master inherited it eight years after.
The master was a very old man, looking as if he would retire any day. He is very lively and always makes quite a variety of jokes. Some of which were too old for me to really understand.
Kuni was the master's son. He was a friendly guy who likes to joke around a lot just like his father. He never really seems to take work too seriously, but is very respectful towards the customers. His blonde hair and piercings make him seem more of a delinquent, but he gets along with just about anyone he meets. He immediately opened up to me and we would always share our feelings about many things. It felt like he would be the type of guy you depend on if you want to forget something.
Karl is the more serious, conservative type of guy. He does not talk freely. He seems to put a lot of thought into his words. With Kuni and Anna, he is seemingly very open and welcoming, but all of his words were always very thoughtful and fancy. My first impressions of him were that he would not want to bother with me, but he always comes and gives me food. The food seems to be targeted at something dependent on how I am feeling or what I am doing. I am very grateful. Karl was definitely a person who one could consult with.
At the time, I never once questioned Anna's motives. Why did she pay attention to a random person on the streets. I also never questioned my father's relationship to her. Thinking about it now, they must have had something connecting them; a bond. However, I suppose that may not matter 'now'.
Because, I have already learned what I needed to know in that time.
The interior of Rocky's was just like a restaurant, or so I thought back then. Really though, it was simply a front desk with a bar near it and a bunch of vending machines. The middle of the room were tables and chairs. Connected to this room were a hallway that lead to the auditorium where the stage is, a hallway filled with rooms for practicing, and a bathroom. Apparently, this is how most live houses are built.
Anna thoroughly taught me many things about music and herself, because 'my eyes would sparkle with curiosity every time'. My father simply stayed behind me, silently. Anna first taught me, well, the meaning of the words music and song. She taught me about how singing worked in depth and about instruments. Since live houses tend to really have the 'rock' genre of music, she showed me in person a few select instruments. The guitar, bass, drums, keyboard, and violin. These were seemingly the most commonly used instruments in most rock bands. She then told me about vocalists and her life. She used to be in a band long ago, but because she was tired of the pressure that was put on her, she decided to become a solo artist who sings wherever she wants. The information soaked into me very easily. I do not really know if this is what it means to be an eager beaver, but I was very interested. We spent the rest of the day just like this, having Anna teach me about music and her life style. It was soon nine pm.
"Hey."
My father finally spoke up having just watch us the entire day.
"IA, do you like music, now having learned of what it is?"
"Yes."
A simple answer, because I did not know what else to think.
"Do you want to become a musician?"
That moment was very hard for me to grasp. Out of random, my father took me to this city and we explored it. But it seemed that this event was the climax of it all, a pivotal point. Of course, I never thought of it that way back then. I simply was just intimidated by that question. I was scared.
"I do not know."
He was unfazed.
"Why do you not know?"
I guess he wanted me to share my feelings.
"I am scared. Scared of what is to come if I say yes."
I shared them honestly.
"The world is full of uncertainty IA. Humans cannot predict the future. We can only assume and hope. But it is those who shed their blood and tears towards the future they want who will gain what they desire."
I stayed silent, listening to his words. It felt like a fog was clearing up.
"Yes, and that is why I assume that I know you well enough to know what your future is. What your true desires are."
He put his hands on my shoulders and stared deep into my eyes.
"IA, out of everything you have learned since you have been with me, what has interested you the most?"
This question made me really think a lot as a nine year old. What interested me the most. Children would be able to answer with a variety of answers, yet I could not. I have learned about many things which did interest me, but at that time the only thing that truly caught my eyes was Anna's performance.
"Watching Anna's performance."
"Then does that not mean you would want to pursuit the same dream?"
I stayed silent once more.
"IA, before I leave, I shall teach you about the word... 'gambling'."
My father left that day. I have not seen him ever since.
For the next three years I worked at the live house whilst Anna educated me. She started off by saying that before I can learn to become a musician, that I had to learn academics. To be honest... it was overwhelming. Japanese language, English, social studies, mathematics, science, fine arts, industrial arts, homemaking, health, and physical education. I was able to pick up most of these. But I also learned, my physique was terrible. Apparently, all of my personal records for things such meter dashes, pull-ups, sit-ups, push-ups, and all the like were all below average. Even after training for a few weeks, even Anna gave up on it and said that my stamina and determination would push me through. She also said it might be good if I focus on finding friends who are decently strong... I do not know if it was out of laziness, or maybe I was just that bad.
These were apparently in preparation for something when I was twelve. She never told me what these subjects were for until the end of the three year period. Until then, one year was spent on said subjects, and the other two years were spent teaching me how to sing and play the instruments.
"Hey IA. What instrument would you like to learn ?"
Anna approached me from the front desk. I was a bit caught off guard. Two weeks into lectures on the history, theory, and instruments of music, she asked me this question.
"I am not really sure."
"Good."
I was very confused.
"You see, instruments like to choose people."
Still very confused. Anna chuckled.
"In other words, you let your heart decide what instrument you should really play, because fate will let your heart know. One person cannot master every instrument, but there is one instrument for every person."
Anna puffed out her chest, being proud of her statement just now. I did not really understand how I am supposed to know what instrument is good for me.
"Well, try taking a look at the instruments we have in stock here. I think we basically have every single one here."
Anna directed me towards a storeroom where there was indeed a lot of instruments in stock. She set up one of each instrument out into the auditorium so I can check them out.
Violin, Viola, Flute, Guitar, Bass, Percussion, Trumpet. There were a lot of instruments. I wandered around them for a while, still not really knowing which one to pick. After a few minutes of going in a loop, Anna decided to go ahead and demonstrate each instrument to me.
I did not know back then what was considered good or bad when it came to playing music. All I could say was that every sound Anna made was beautiful. But I did not feel anything special concerning the instruments. They were all great and it seemed equally fun to play any of them, but that was just it. I conveyed my feelings to Anna.
"Then... maybe you are a singer?"
A person who sings instead of playing instruments.
"Hey IA, try singing this song for me."
She brought out a piece of paper. I looked over it and saw it was a lyric sheet. Reading over it, I realized it was the same song I heard her sing back then. She sat in front of me crisscrossed.
I read over the lyrics of the song. It was surprisingly very sad. Before, I was never able to really pick up the lyrics when listening to her.
"Start whenever you're ready."
I felt a rush of nervousness. I was not sure how to start or how to sing this song.
"Sing however you want to sing it. However you think is best."
Anna seemed to have read my thoughts and encouraged me. Singing however I want was a bit more vague than I wanted. I did not really have a direction, so I just tried to sing like how Anna sang. I simply closed my eyes and went for it.
As I did sing the song, a thought came to my head. Did Anna write this song? And if so, what was she thinking at the time?
'We used to be able to laugh and play around all the time.
Time was not an issue, for our lives were young and foolish.
Yet, the world contradicts our thinking.
It gave birth to a scar deeper than hatred.
Reading what the stars have told me,
We both know what would happen.
Yet, we decided to not care and accept.
Accept our cruel fate.'
It was at first very corrupt and hopeless. But...
'We used to be able to laugh and play around all the time.
Life was so much fun being with you.
I will never forget the time we shared.
It will stay with me forever.
Until the end of time.'
It was left off on a bitter-sweet ending.
I opened my eyes and looked at Anna. She seemed shocked.
"Um... what's wrong?" I tried asking.
She seems to have came back to her senses.
"I could be asking you the same."
"Eh?"
She pointed to her eyes, which meant she wanted me to check mine. I did not realize it until then, I was crying.
"I guess that song was a bit much for you. I'm sorry."
She smiled all the same still.
"But, that song. You seemed to have conveyed my feelings a lot better than I could have."
She patted my head. I did not really understand what was happening, but I guess I sang well. She continued to praise me and then declared that she would train me strictly in being a singer, seeing as she had already gone through a lot of training herself. She taught me how to play the piano and guitar to a certain degree as well, since sometimes just singing is not enough.
All of this was three years ago. Now, I am twelve years old and am preparing to go to school.
"School?"
"Yeah. Everyone has to go to school at some point in their lives!"
Anna one day confronted me with this topic, school.
"Was... that the reason you taught me all those things from before?"
"Yeah!"
She was beaming with excitement.
"Your father already has the documents prepared and sent to the school. So you should be set to go as soon as the uniform gets here sometime next week."
"My father?"
Those words tickled my ears.
"Ah, he even sent you a present."
She reached into her pockets and brought out a small box. Inside was a ring.
If I remember correctly, rings are worn on your fingers and can symbolize a lot of things. One of them being marriage.
Anna put it on my left middle finger.
"Keep it safe now!"
Anna was really happy today. It threw me a little off balance because she is normally a lot more calm. Nevertheless, I carefully touch the ring and smile at it.
"Do you miss him?"
Anna abruptly asked me. 'Him' would be referring to father.
"Yes, I do."
I say that, holding my hands to my chest. Anna holds me in her arms.
"I am sure that he misses you as well."
"Then why did he leave."
Although I knew that there might have been a reason for all of this, my heart cannot help but ache at the thought.
"Because he loves you."
The words still confused me, but I was fine with it. Anna slowly separated from me and smiled brightly. I could not help but smile as well.
"Well, for now you can relax. Just get ready for when you go to school."
"Yeah."
I look to the side and see Karl leaning on the wall. I think he was trying to hide, but I could see a part of his elbow.
"Hi Karl."
I called out to him. He waited a few seconds before coming out.
"Hey."
He walked up to me nonchalantly.
"It's not a good habit to be eavesdropping. Should have just walked in earlier."
"I just got here."
He said it as if it was true.
"Where's Kuni?"
"He's out delivering a package. he won't be back for a bit."
"And master?"
"Out to the hospital."
"Already?"
"Yeah... he should really think about retiring soon."
"Not really a surprise considering who his son is."
Both of them sigh in unison.
"I see. Well, you can have fun with IA, I'll be gone as well."
Anna waved us good bye and left the building.
The both of us sat there silent. There was not really much to talk about. Whenever we talk, it is usually about our feelings. Other than that, we do not really talk about miscellaneous topics. But that was fine too. Being with him alone was a nice thing as well. It was peaceful I am not lonely.
"Are you hungry IA?"
He asked. Wondering why he asked, I checked the time. It was lunchtime already. Although we had a big breakfast.
"Yeah."
He walked off somewhere and came back with some fruits.
"This should be easy on your stomach."
"Thank you."
I accepted it gratefully and ate.
The week went by as it did from before, except I had utterly nothing to do. Anna had a strange set of rules up for me. One of them being, I cannot sing or play instruments out of place. I would have to consider the place and time. I did not really feel like revisiting math and the likes, so I did not have anything to do. Kuni and Karl were exceptionally busy dealing with the live house. The master is out a lot doing things that no one would tell me about. It questions my perspective of him.
However, I cherished the time I spent here at the live house, even this one week of nothing. It gave me a lot of time to really think about myself and my situation. As a result, it seems like nothing really matters. I just wanted to see where life would take me.
Now, today is the day I finally go to school.
