Close To The Pin
Disclaimer: All Twilight related characters belong to S. Meyer.
Chapter 3
Chapter Songs –Center of Attention, Jackson Waters, Fourtyfive, Bootstraps
BPOV
I peered out my window at the rose-lit, landscaped grounds of the resort. The sunset was casting a pale pink glow over everything from the tall evergreens that lined the fairways to the ocean that stretched further than I could see. The light made everything seem so tranquil.
Hah.
I fingered the sheer drape of the curtains as I played the events of this afternoon over in my head. As usual, after my round of golf, I bid my polite farewells and quickly retreated to my hotel room to decompress. Decompress was code for 'hide from everyone.' I needed to calm myself enough not to have a panic attack.
I dealt with my stress poorly. I put too much pressure on myself and was a professional in a very publicized and widely observed sport. I was far from being out of the public eye and my fear that everyone could see my faults consumed me on a daily basis. Each day, I was more and more certain I wasn't cut out for this life, but it always came back to the same thing.
I loved golf.
I loved golfing.
And I was good at it.
I loved walking on the course and feeling the grass under my feet. I was always captivated by the tall, creaking forms of the trees that barricaded each hole and how different they were state-to-state and country-to-country. The air was always different but it smelled the same. It could be humid and stagnant or freezing and gusty but it always smelled like grass and soil.
These thoughts were calming me and I sunk down into the chair by the window. One of the springs was broken in the seat and I sunk down in an awkward angle. I ignored the way my hips tilted in the opposite direction and kept my eyes on the colorful sunset that was starting to paint the sky.
Various patrons and employees mingled over the grounds. A catering van was being unloaded by men in crisp white shirts. Some guests were heading towards the driving range with their bags slung low over their shoulders.
My heart stumbled slightly as I saw a familiar, lanky frame walk into view. I hadn't seen him outside of his caddy clothes and I wasn't sure if it really was him. I didn't know him well enough to tell. He had replaced his white shorts with slender, dark jeans and his Pebble Beach windbreaker was removed in favor of a pale red, plaid flannel shirt rolled up to his elbows. The only deciding factor was the mop of copper hair that gleamed in the sunset.
Edward.
His long strides carried him across the courtyard quickly. I pressed my hand to my chest where my heart was pitter-pattering under my palm. Why was I reacting this way? Did the sight of him make me think about my round tomorrow?
No. Don't be an idiot.
I swallowed and watched him cross the view from my window. He was holding something and I squinted to make it out. It was a six-pack of Heineken. Where on earth was he going with that?
I was on my feet before my brain registered what I was doing. I leaned closer to the window, craning my neck so I could see where he was headed. He walked over the grass towards the maintenance building. My fingers drummed on the windowsill. I was anxious again, but not in a bad way. In an excited way.
Why?
I cursed under my breath. I knew why, but why him?
Had one day under the overcast sky and a handful of perfect shots really shaped my opinion of him? Sure, he calmed me and guided me in a way that Jacob never did. Sure he was handsome, low-key and kept my emotions in check but I'd only met him twelve hours ago.
I looked over my shoulder to eye my golf bag that was leaning against the wall. The flat face of my putter was catching the light from the window. I chewed on my lip and looked back towards the building that Edward had disappeared into. My lip stung but I ignored it.
Do it.
I grabbed my sweatshirt, slid on my shoes and grabbed my chaptsick. In less than three minutes my hotel door had closed at my back and I was staring down the hotel hallway. I had my putter in one hand and two golf balls in the other.
Do it.
I made my way to the elevator and bounced the grip of my putter on the floor. The golf balls circled around my palm like those zen medicine balls Jake had bought me last year. They didn't work, but I got really good at the motions.
When the doors opened I walked briskly through the lobby and out into the courtyard. I mirrored Edward's swift gait and walked towards the putting green that was in clear view of the maintenance building. There was a light on inside and I hoped that he was still in there.
I had no idea what I was expecting but I wanted something. Tomorrow morning wasn't soon enough. I wanted to see him again. I pushed aside the questions and the fizzle of doubt in my chest. Tonight I just wanted to be.
The golf balls tumbled from my hand and onto the short-clipped grass of the putting green. I eyed the hole across the way and took my aim. Edward's advice echoed clearly in my head and I widened my stance to take my first shot.
EPOV
"Edward!"
There was less than a second for me to set down my precious six-pack before Alice was in my arms. As always, she was a blur of black spiky hair, fashionable and impractical clothes and infectious laughter. I stumbled backwards as she crashed into me at full speed.
I wrapped my arms tightly around her and pressed my lips to the side of her head. "Hey baby sister."
"You're here, you're here, you're here!" she chanted, sinking back to the ground and gripping my flannel shirt in her tiny hands.
"Of course I'm here," I laughed. "I work here!"
"I wasn't sure if your new fancy client would have you on-call for practice sessions," Jasper teased from across the room. He was already nursing a Budweiser from the stock in the fridge.
"Please," I scoffed as Alice jumped on my back and wrapped her arms around my neck. I hoisted her up and made my way over to where the rest of our friends were gathered. Emmett and his girlfriend Rosalie were seated on the loveseat, entangled in their constant disgusting embrace.
"Wardo," Emmett bellowed as he raised a hand. "Toss me a Heinie. I can't drink this shit."
"Get it yourself," I shot back, motioning to my pixie of a sister. "My hands are full."
"You need to shave," Alice mused in my ear as she poked at the stubble on my face. "You'll look like a mountain man on the course."
I swatted her hand away. "It makes me look rugged," I countered.
"Dirty."
"Handsome."
"You look like a hobo."
"Survey says I look sexy."
"Gross." She slid down my back and pranced back to Jasper.
"You started it," I teased, motioning for Emmett to hand me a beer too.
Alice pulled a face and settled into the crook of Jasper's arm.
Emmett handed me a Heineken and I took a swig. "So what's the plan? Front nine or back nine?"
Alice bounced on her toes. "Both nines!"
"Although I appreciate your optimism, baby sister, it'll probably be dark before we can finish nine holes."
We quickly decided on the first nine holes so we could stay by the ocean and admire the setting sun. Rose and Emmett strapped our clubs on the carts and stocked them with enough alcohol and snacks to keep us happy for the next couple of hours.
Jasper opened the garage door on the side of the building to move the carts into the night air as I locked the building behind us.
"Hey isn't that your girl over there," Rose asked as she sunk into her seat beside Emmett.
My girl?
I looked to where she was pointing and couldn't help but smile.
Bella Swan was on the putting green lining up an impressive long shot with the familiar look of concentration plastered over her face. Her long hair waved slightly in the breeze and the fading sunlight gave her a peachy glow.
"Yeah, that's her," I said softly.
"You should ask her to come," my sister chirped suddenly at my side.
I looked down at her. "What?"
Alice beamed up at me. "She should come with us!"
I raised an eyebrow. "You want a pro-golfer to come on our drunk twilight golf trip?"
She rolled her eyes. "We're not drunk yet and yes. I think she should come with us. She looks lonely and you have an extra seat in your cart." She winked and skipped back over to Jasper.
I turned to look back at Bella. I did have an extra seat.
"We'll meet you on the first tee," Emmett called as the four of them sped away on the cart path, leaving my lonely golf cart in their dust.
I stared after them for a moment and thought seriously about my next move. What the fuck just happened? Fraternizing with a client was always a bad idea and I would be lying if I said I wasn't attracted to Isabella Sawn. Being her caddy today had turned out to be a lot more enjoyable than I'd anticipated. I had been prepared to bask in misery all day thanks to Jasper. Much to my surprise, I didn't think about tide pools once. Bella had my complete attention.
She'd disappeared quickly after the round today. I barely had a chance to hand back her golf bag before she'd muttered a rushed "thank you" and hurried towards the hotel. I'd caddied for a lot of golfers over the past few years and had never dealt with someone as confusing as Isabella Swan.
Reading people was normally my forte and part of the reason I was so good at my job. I was good at determining what shots they were capable of and the best way for them to get to the pin. I could tell when they wanted me to back off and when they needed my help. None of this was easy with Bella. I had no idea what she was thinking or how confident she was. She was stony and determined and a fantastic golfer with or without me.
She intrigued me, she fascinated me and I wanted to know more. I wanted to know what cracked her shell and how to make her laugh. I wanted to know what her strengths were and where I could help her. I wanted to know where she came from and what her favorite food was.
I wanted to know her outside of our afternoons on the course together and Alice's suggestion had given me the perfect opportunity to do that.
My gut was telling me she needed a friend and that she needed someone to make her forget about the pressure that constantly rested on her shoulders.
Maybe she needed me.
We did have a couple of good jokes running by the end of the day. At least, I had made a few jokes that coaxed a smile from her constantly pursed lips.
Her lips…
Now that was a path that was best not traveled. At least, not with beer secured to the back seat of my golf cart.
My thoughts had pulled my eyes back towards Bella who was still determined on making a long putt in one stroke. I watched as her last shot circled around the edge of the hole and shot off in the opposite direction. She jutted out her chin in frustration and stalked off to retrieve her ball.
I smiled to myself and started walking towards her.
"You know," I called softly, "you're supposed to warm up on shorter putts."
Bella stood up with her golf ball in hand and gave me a tight smile. "I've been here a while, who says I haven't already?"
I dropped my hands in my pockets. "Fair enough."
"What are you up to?" she asked, feigning indifference and failing. This development made me pause. Was she lonely? Had she seen us down here before we'd seen her?
Had she come down here on purpose?
I felt a small thrill in the pit of my stomach and smiled at the feeling.
"My friends and I are going to try and make it through the first nine holes before it's pitch black."
"Sounds fun," she said, dropping the ball at her feet and kicking it with her toe until it was in position.
I cocked my head as I watched her line up her putt and take a few practice swings. Did she always do this?
"Do you want to come?"
Her head shot up and she met my smirk with wide eyes. "What?"
I'd surprised her. She wasn't expecting an invitation.
"You should come with us. There's no one in my cart. You can watch. You don't have to play. My sister isn't golfing either."
She tapped her fingers on the grip of her putter and started chewing on her lip. I closed the distance that still remained between us until I was standing next to her. I could make out the tiny pattern of polka dots on her gray sweatshirt. She was wearing faded jeans that hugged her slender legs in all the right places. Her hair was frizzy from the fog today and I could smell the sweet fragrance of her shampoo.
"Come with us." My voice sounded softer than I intended and the thrill in my stomach settled into a constant hum of anticipation.
Bella released her lip and sucked in a deep breath. I reached out my hand for her putter and she eyed it for a moment before placing it in my hand. She kept her grip on it and I tugged it slightly to gain her attention.
She lifted her eyes until I could make out the warm chocolate brown that had been captivating me all day. "Bella?"
The corner of her lip twitched until it filled her face with a full smile. "Can I be your caddy?" Her voice was small and quiet. I leaned close as she released her grip on the club.
"I don't know," I teased. "I get pretty intense when I golf. You'll have to make me laugh." I smirked at her and she looked away. A deep scarlet blush crept over her cheeks and I let my eyes linger. The fading light was transitioning from rose pink to a pale periwinkle. The color on her skin was exquisite.
"You really helped me today," she said softly.
I blinked. This wasn't what I was expecting.
"Let's not talk about today," I said, leading her to my lone golf cart. I tilted my head and motioned to the passenger-side seat. "Just ride with me."
The blush on her pale cheeks intensified and her smile returned. "Okay."
She walked around the cart and slid into her seat as I dropped her putter in my bag that was strapped to the back. I watched her for a moment and tried to figure out what I was doing before I lost focus entirely. As Bella propped her feet up on the dash, she noticed the bottles of beer in the cubby. She pulled out two and swiveled her head to find me. "Beer?" she asked with a grin.
Plan schplan.
"You bet."
BPOV
To say tonight had been completely unexpected would be an understatement. When I'd made the decision to come downstairs and try to catch Edward's eye, I never expected to be half-drunk in a golf cart while he and his friends made asses of themselves on the world famous Pebble Beach golf course.
My chest hurt from laughing so much and my eyes stung from the tears that were streaming down my face. At the moment, Emmett was running back and forth on the fairway swinging his driver above his head.
"I'm an obstacle!" he yelled as both Edward and Jasper struggled to stand up straight. They were laughing so hard their clubs fell out of their hands.
"Get out of the way you asshole!" Jasper yelled before dissolving back into laughter.
"No, shut up," Edward said, picking up his club and wiping his eyes. His voice was deep and gravelly. "I want to try and hit him."
"No don't!" Rose cried in genuine horror. "You could give him a concussion."
"Not if I hit him in the nuts," Edward snorted, lining up his shot.
Emmett was running back in our direction, club still swinging over his head. He looked over at Edward as he started his backswing and cried, "Oh shit!" before dropping to the ground and skidding to a stop. Edward's ball whistled past where his crotch had been seconds before.
"I didn't think you were actually going to hit the ball!" he yelled from the ground.
Jasper gave Edward a high five as they hurried back over to the golf carts. "Get off the ground, Em!" Jasper called as he released the emergency break and sped towards Emmett where he lay in the fairway.
Emmet leapt to his feet and ran away from the cart.
Edward plopped into the seat next to me and grinned over at me. His cheeks were flushed with the alcohol and the exertion. His eyes were still watery from when he was laughing moments ago. "Having fun?"
I nodded and handed him a fresh Heineken. "You should have hit him."
"I would have hit him," he said, taking a swig and then offering it to me. I took it from his hands and took a drink without a second thought. "Jackass isn't drunk enough. Next hole."
He dropped his hands on the steering wheel in a determined gesture and we sped ahead to the next hole where Jasper was setting up his tee shot. Edward stopped the cart and leaned back in his seat. He draped his arm over the backrest and I felt the skin of his arm on my neck. A chill shot down my spine and I shivered.
Edward must have felt it and he turned his head to look at me. "Are you cold?"
The gesture was so simple but it meant more than he knew.
"I'm fine."
He smiled before turning back to watch Jasper but his arm had lowered slightly so his fingers danced on the top of my shoulder. I shivered again and definitely not from the cold.
"Hey Jazz!" Rose called from her cart. "You should adjust your grip on the shaft!"
Emmett burst out laughing and Jasper flipped Rose the bird. Alice giggled softly in the fading light.
The sunlight was almost gone and I assumed that we'd have to stop soon. I turned to my right to look over the water. The waves and the wind were like white noise now. The breeze had picked up and was blowing large bodies of clouds swiftly across the sky.
"We should probably wrap it up, huh?" Edward's voice was soft and velvety near my ear and it made me jump. His hand dropped down on my shoulder and he squeezed it gently. "Sorry."
I turned my head and looked up at him bashfully. "It's okay."
We sat still for a moment, absorbed in the subtle comfort of our closeness and oblivious to the drunken antics going on around us. Edward's fingers were moving over the fabric of my sweatshirt, tracing tiny circles on my upper arm. I was trying not to be fascinated by the long, bronze eyelashes that framed his green eyes. The smooth skin of his cheeks seemed to refract the light from the sunset, giving him a brilliant glow. My fingers itched to touch it and see if it felt as soft as it looked.
His breaths were slow and quiet and I watched as his eyes darted from mine to my lips, to his hand, back to my lips and my eyes once again. The thought of his gaze lingering on my lips made my heart thump loudly. I hoped he couldn't hear it. His smiling lips were a delicious shade of pink that should be outlawed.
It was unfair.
I started getting the nagging feeling that this moment had drawn on too long. That if I stared at his lips for another second I'd lean close and touch them with my own. That he'd close his beautiful eyes and lean into me too. That someone would notice and our unspoken secret would suddenly become too real.
"Wardo!"
This time Edward jumped and his arm sprung from around me. "Don't call me that!" he shouted back, leaping out of the cart and snatching his driver from his bag. It got tangled in his other clubs and he stumbled slightly before scurrying up to the tee box to take his first shot.
"You'd better watch how you handle your balls…er ball," Emmet sneered as Edward eyed his shot. "The wind is picking up."
"Fuck off," Edward hissed.
I sat frozen in the cart, gasping for my breath and my bearings. I felt like I'd been rudely awakened from a good dream. Already my brain was fighting to get the images back but as Edward stalked towards the tee, they were lost with the wind beating at my back. I watched him go.
I don't know if it was the beer or the moment Edward and I had just shared, but for the first time I had absolutely no shame in ogling Edward as he swung his club. He had one of the most perfect swings I had ever seen.
I watched the muscles in his forearms bulge as he adjusted his grip. The tendons in his hands rippled under his skin and I swallowed as his long fingers wrapped around his club. The mess of his hair was waving in the breeze with the floppy collar of his flannel shirt. Maybe I should have said I was cold. I had a strange fixation with that particular piece of clothing.
I reached for the lukewarm bottle of beer and took a long swig.
Enough.
By the time I set the bottle back in the cup holder, Edward was already making his way back to the cart. He dropped his driver back in his bag with a thunk and slid back into his seat.
"I didn't see your shot, where did it go?"
Edward cursed under his breath and reached for the beer. "The ocean. I give up."
I tried not to smile. "Distracted?"
He didn't answer. Instead, Edward's eyes shifted to mine as he drained the bottle. I tried not to swallow my tongue.
Wait, what?
He fiddled with the empty beer bottle. "I think the rest of the guys are going to keep playing. Do you want to stay here with me for a while? Walk down by the water or something?"
I was definitely going to swallow my tongue. Either that or I was drunker than I thought.
"Yes."
How did that happen?
Must be drunker than I thought.
Edward held my gaze for another moment before standing up and wandering over to Jasper and Emmett. I watched him go and placed a hand over my chest to try and slow my racing heart again. What was I doing? Spending time with my caddy in the dark and watching the waves roll in was definitely taking it past the whole 'after hours friendship' thing.
Then again, I think his hand on my shoulder broke that rule first.
Or the way he smiled at me when I made a joke on the third hole.
Or how he'd let his fingers linger on mine when he took the beer from me.
My heart sped up.
Edward was walking back toward me with a smile on his face as the rest of the guys sped off down the cart path.
"Are they going to play still?" I asked. My voice sounded strained and I swallowed thickly.
"Yeah," he nodded. He lifted his arms so he was leaning on the roof of the cart. His eyes were dark and intense as he watched me. "Are you sure you're not cold?"
I had to force my eyes not to drift down to where his shirt had ridden up. "I'm sure," I lied, pulling my sleeves down over my hands.
"Come on, we can sit by the water."
He stood up and started walking backwards onto the grass. I followed suit and moved cautiously behind him.
It turned out that "sitting by the water" meant sitting on the edge of a cliff. My current state of mind found that other events were more frightening than rocky outcrops.
Edward sank to the ground and let his legs dangle precariously over the edge. I stared down at the top of his head and watched as the wind played with his hair. In the span of the last few moments, the sunlight was fully extinguished and the icy light of the stars and rising moon surrounded us. The greens of the grass and trees were lost in the darkness and everything blended together in rich blue hues. Edward turned his head and looked up at me. I gasped.
All of the greens were extinguished aside from his eyes, that is.
"Are you going to sit?"
EPOV
It took a moment, but eventually Bella settled down on the grass beside me. I could feel the warmth from her body though the worn flannel of my shirt. She stared out at the water before us and I did the same while watching her in the corner of my eye.
"I haven't done this in so long," she said, letting out a long breath and pressing her palms to her eyes. She slid them up her face and brushed her tangled hair from her forehead. Her cheeks were scarlet from the booze and the blush that hadn't faded since we left the putting green. She fell back on her hands with a sigh and I watched as she stretched her legs out over the edge of the cliff. There was a certain amount of freedom out here on the edge of everything. It was refreshing.
The ocean stretched before us in an uninterrupted black ribbon. You could barely tell where the horizon stopped and the sky started. The stars littered the sky like the mirrored white caps from the waves below. The foamy sea air floated around us, and it was so thick you could taste it on your tongue with each breath. I could smell Bella's hair as the wind whipped past us. I leaned closer.
"What haven't you done?" I asked, staring at her intently in the starlight.
She was still smiling. "This! Have fun! Be silly, cause trouble! Just…shit!"
I chuckled at her words. "You haven't done shit?"
She laughed with me and spread her arms out wide. "No, Edward. I haven't done shit in a long time."
I nodded my head. "Well, I'm happy to give you shit to do."
We laughed together and stared back out at the water. "I don't know why I never do stuff like this," she mused, flicking the ends of her hair with her fingers. "I'm always just…on. Working. Focusing."
I cocked my head as I watched her in the dark. "Don't you ever just…not think?"
Bella shrugged and shook her head. "No. Never."
"Never?"
She smiled sheepishly. "Never. I've gotten swallowed up in what I do. I'm always traveling or playing. Sometimes I feel like I don't really know who I am anymore."
I got an idea suddenly and I lifted my legs from the edge of the grass and turned to face Bella Indian style. "I want to try something."
Her eyes narrowed as she observed my new position. "What?"
I reached my hands out in the space between us, palms up. "Meditation exercise. I'm determined to help you relax."
She snorted. "Good luck with that."
I curled my fingers and drew her attention back to my hands. She eyed them skeptically then looked back at me again. I could see the dark circles of her eyes and the confused pucker between her groomed eyebrows. Her scarlet lips were pursed and I had to push aside the urge to lean closer. As the wind circled around us I could smell more and more of her. The detergent on her clothes, the scent of her skin, the tang of her chapstick. I was overwhelmed by her.
Eventually she relaxed, and I watched her shoulders slump down as she placed her hands in mine. Her thin fingers curled around mine, grasping our hands together. The gesture surprised me. I hadn't expected her to comply so easily. I mirrored her grip and pulled her soft palms against my own.
"Do your worst," she said, and I could see the trace of a smile on her lips.
I smiled too as I leaned forward on my knees. "Close your eyes."
She did as she was told, and I watched as the feathered arcs of her eyelashes fanned out of her cheeks. Her grip on my hands tightened and I tugged them towards me so she was leaning forward too.
"Are you comfortable?" I kept my voice soft, nearly a whisper. The wind and surf was so loud, I wasn't sure if she would hear me.
"Yes."
"Take a few deep breaths and try to relax." I breathed in loudly and she followed as we inhaled and exhaled three times. "Okay?" I asked when we were done.
She nodded.
"Now I want you to listen to everything happening around us right now. Just right around us. Can you do that?"
Another nod.
"Do you hear the water hitting the rocks down below?"
"Yes."
As she answered I listened for the rhythmic beating of water and rock with each swell of the tide. It rose and fell like a slow, thick pulse, carrying with it the weight of the kelp and the animals hiding under its surface.
"Can you hear the wind in the trees behind us?"
"Yes."
"And the frogs by the cart path. Can you hear them?"
Bella chuckled and nodded. "I can." She squeezed my hands again.
"There's a seal cow barking on one of the rocks a ways out. Can you hear her?"
This took a little longer as she focused on the specific sound. I looked out into the water where I could barely see the whitewashed rock a few hundred yards out. Even in the dark I could see the black masses of the seals on their perches.
"I hear her."
I turned my head to look onto the fairway. Towards the green, a doe and her fawn were exiting the foliage to graze.
"Some deer are walking on the fairway. Can you hear their footsteps?"
I watched her as she listened and I leaned in even closer. She pursed her lips and shut her eyes tight. I smiled to myself and noticed a tiny pucker form between her eyebrows. That was pretty cute. The fawn stepped on a twig and the small crack echoed over the deserted grass around us.
"Was that them?" she asked in a whisper.
"Yes."
She squeezed my hands again when she realized how close I was. I wanted to be closer.
"Can you feel the temperature difference in the wind when it comes from the water and then blows back from inland?"
She shivered and I saw the wave of goosebumps run up her arm. "Yes."
"Can you feel the sea spray when the waves crash?"
"Yes." Her voice was barely a whisper but I could hear it loud and clear.
I licked my lips and swallowed. Another squeeze and I smiled. She was listening. I inched closer still and she didn't flinch away. My nose was millimeters away from her cheek and I longed to drag it against her skin. I closed my eyes and took in the warmth her face was radiating.
"Can you feel me?" I asked in a whisper. The loose wisps of hair by her ear fluttered as my breath fanned over her cheek.
"Yes, Edward," she answered, turning her face towards me.
My heart was pounding in my chest and drumming in my ears. What was I doing? More importantly, what was I going to do now?
"I can hear your heart," she said softly, voice close to my ear. She lifted one of her hands from mine and placed it flat against my chest. "I can feel it too."
I swallowed again. How had I lost control in this situation?
I sat back so I could see her face and lifted my free hand to brush some of her hair behind her ear. "I can feel your skin blush," I said with a smile. I'd wanted to tell her that all night.
She bit down on her bottom lip and tried to hide a smile. "It does that."
"I like it."
"I like feeling your heart beat."
My fingers danced over her smooth cheek and down her jaw to her chin. She drew in a deep breath and flexed her fingers against the cotton of my shirt. Her eyes were still closed and I heard her slow deep breaths.
"Bella?" I asked softly, feeling the rush of emotion around us build to dangerous levels.
"Yes?"
"Are you thinking about anything right now?"
She stayed quiet and I was happy that she was seriously considering the question. Her hand slid up my chest, over my shoulder and around my neck where her fingers wound into my hair. "No."
For some reason this moment had fallen completely into place and I wasn't about to question it. "Good," I breathed, cupping her face in my hand. Without another word or warning, I leaned forward and pressed my lips to hers.
Her lips were warm and soft. So, so soft. I wanted to kiss them again and again, just like this. Barely enough pressure to call it a kiss, but enough contact to shoot lightning from my lips to my fingertips. She turned our hands so that our fingers were entwined and tugged them closer. I slid my fingers under the warm curtain of her hair and traced my thumb back and forth over her cheek.
All of the sounds hummed around us like the climax to a symphony. The waves crashed into the rocks down below, the chorus of seals echoed over the water, the deer pranced off the fairway and back into the woods and a quartet of frogs serenaded us from the trees.
I sucked in a deep breath and pulled away long enough to brush my nose against hers. I could feel her slow, shallow breaths on my lower lip. She lifted her chin to find me again and I complied without hesitation, taking her top lip between my own.
In all my life I'd never been kissed in a more beautiful place, in a more beautiful moment.
I pulled my hand from hers and eagerly pressed it to the other side of her face. I enjoyed the feel of her in my hands, like I was treasuring her. Guiding her. Caring for her. Our lips moved with more purpose now, gliding over each other to the rhythm of the noises around us.
I felt the tiniest hint of her breath and I took that as an invitation to deepen the kiss. Our tongues entwined tentatively at first and then with more purpose as our breaths gasped loudly between us. She tightened her fingers in my hair and I let out a small moan at the contact.
Bella wasn't just relaxed, Bella was free. Something told me she hadn't had this kind of release in a long, long time. Possibly ever. The fact that I had brought it out of her made my heart swell with pride and longing. I wanted to be the one to give this to her. I wanted her to need me and I was afraid of why that was.
Bella moved so she was on her knees, leaning into me. Her arms slid around my neck as she pulled us closer. My hands were still on her face and I didn't want to let go. I felt like we were tumbling down a steep incline, picking up momentum and unable to stop. How would we stop?
As if in answer to my thoughts, a loud and very large wave crashed into the weathered rocks below. The water hit an air pocket in the cliff and a loud pop sounded over the grass like a gunshot.
Bella gasped and pulled away, her arms springing from around my neck and to her side like a snapped rubber band. She clasped them tightly to her mouth. "Oh my God," she whispered.
I smirked at her but she didn't smirk back. Her eyes were wide and her chest was heaving up and down. I had a sneaking suspicion that 'relaxed Bella' was no longer.
"Bella?"
She stood up at once and held her hands out in front of her. "Edward, I can't…I shouldn't have…I have to go!"
"Hey wait," I said, leaping to my feet as she began backing away. "You don't have to run. I'll keep my distance, just let me drive you back to the–"
"No!" she cried, stumbling slightly on a tuft of grass. "Please. Stay here. I have to go now."
Our tumbling had ended in disaster and I felt like an idiot.
"Bella, I'm sorry. Please, don't run. You don't have to. I'll stay, just walk. It's dark, I don't want you to trip."
"I can take care of myself," she snapped, eyes flashing in the dark. With that she turned and started jogging down the cart path, away from me and back to the lodge. He hair streamed behind her with the long ties of her sweatshirt.
I tugged at my hair and watched her turn the corner into the trees. What. The fuck. Just happened?
BPOV
I managed to make it back into my room before the full onslaught of the panic attack took over my body. I leaned heavily against the door as I pulled in deep, rasping breaths. I felt like someone's hand was around my heart, squeezing it deep within my chest. My stomach was sour with anxiety but I couldn't figure out why. I felt so helpless I could barely stand it.
My knees buckled and I sunk down to the floor. Down here it seemed easier to breathe. I put my head between my knees and focused on taking slow even breaths.
I wished it was pitch black in my room but someone had been in earlier to turn down my bed. I tried to distract myself by imagining the shape of the chocolates that surely littered my pillow.
Five bucks they were golf balls.
My thoughts wandered back to the course where I'd spent the last few hours with Edward and his friends. More importantly just Edward. The calm I felt with him had settled comfortably in my body and I'd let it, for once. I'd let him lead me out of my comfort zone and goof off all night. I'd let him touch me and guide me through his ridiculous exercise. I enjoyed it, and I wanted more. So much more.
Mostly I wanted my body to let me relax with him. My world was so consumed with greed and selfish people, that Edward seemed too good to be true. I couldn't believe that someone so attractive, funny and kind really meant everything. The other, less-rational side of my brain was shouting at me and telling me to trust him. Somehow, I knew he wouldn't betray me.
That thought made the invisible hand loosen its grip on my heart. I lifted my head and let it fall back on the door with a thud. I could see where my covers had been turned down. Two sparkles of dark purple foil caught my attention. They were golf balls. How unoriginal.
I stood up and winced as my knees popped then moved over to the bed. I swiped the chocolates off my pillowcase and listened as they clattered on the matted carpet across the room. I pulled off my sweatshirt and shirt, slipped out of my jeans and climbed into bed. I flipped off the light and fiddled with my phone before setting it on the bedside table.
Alarm. Snooze. Second alarm.
I let me iPhone fall onto the table with a jarring clatter and leaned back into the starchy cotton of my pillowcase. Now that it was dark, I let my thoughts take me back to the windy, rolling fairway that I had shared with Edward. I remembered each sensory detail. The sound of the waves, the smell of the brine in the air, the feel of Edward's hands on my face, the taste of his tongue on my lips.
I shivered and pulled the sheets up to my chin.
His lips…
The way he'd kissed me so softly and delicately at first. He wasn't demanding or forward. He was savoring it just as much as I was. His lips were so full and soft and even more so as we deepened the kiss. He'd cradled my head so gently in his fingers and I was frantically grabbing at his hair.
I hadn't felt that carefree in years.
I put aside the other enjoyable events of the evening and focused on Edward alone. The way he'd talked to me, the way held looked out for me and the way he'd relaxed me.
The way I still had a pleasurable, twisting feeling in my belly.
He made me feel special.
The air whistled out of my lungs as I let out a deep breath.
Shit.
It was entirely possible that I was falling in love with Edward Cullen.
A/N: *sighs* Don't you want to be out on the edge of a cliff with Caddyward? That was part one to my tribute to the California coastline, lol. I have SUCH a love affair with Monterey. How do you think Bella will act in the morning? Any thoughts?
Thanks to Dom and Aussiegirl101 for reading and beta-ing!
