Chapter 3: Saturday, 14 days until initiation
Tris
"Hey Tris, time to get up, or we'll be late!"
Someone is talking to me and softly shaking my shoulder. I grunt, but pull my head out from under the sheets. It feels so damn early in the morning. I open my eyes and look directly in Christina's already made up face. She smiles down at me happily.
"Come on Tris, it's already half past nine. We have training at ten, unless you want to do some extra exercise later because you were late." She grabs my hand and pulls me into an upright position. "I'm leaving for breakfast in five minutes, so if you would like to join me, hurry up. The others have already gone."
"Thanks for waking me up," I say as I rise from my bed.
I go to the bathroom to splash some water into my face. My skin looks pale and tired today from getting little sleep. I comb my hair and pull it back into a high ponytail so it won't be getting in the way during training. When I'm dressed and ready to go a few minutes later, Christina pinches my cheeks with her fingers.
"Girl, you need some color in your face. You still feel sick?" she asks.
I can't answer her with her fingers gripping my cheeks, so I just shake my head slightly.
"Well, now you look more vivid," Christina states, content with how her simple trick has worked to bring some color to my skin.
We have a quick breakfast with the other initiates before we head over to the training room section where we divide into two groups, transfers and Dauntless born. I glance around nervously as we enter the room, searching for Tobias, but he's not here yet. Christina follows my eyes.
"Who are you looking for?" she asks, furrowing her brows.
Her Candor background can be really annoying sometimes. She always seems to be able to read my body language.
"No one in particular," I hurry to say, "I just wanted to know who we have training with today."
"Well, and why do you look a little disappointed? Is it because 'no one' isn't here yet?"
She winks her eye at me and then turns her attention to Will, who has sneaked up behind her and tickles her waist. Christina jumps, but breaks into a huge smile when she sees who's touching her.
"Hey, what's up?" she laughs.
"There's live music at the bar tonight and some of us are going. You want to join us?"
"Sure, but don't startle me again."
Christina's voice turns all flirty when she starts a conversation with Will. Actually I'm glad for the interruption, so I don't have to answer any more of her unnerving questions. It's unbelievable how accurately she can shoot them at me when she's curious.
I observe her talking to Will. They laugh and smile at each other and occasionally touch. For them it seems so easy. I wish it would be the same for me and Tobias. But I have to focus on training now. Since we passed on to the second stage, we have to go through a simulation once every day, but the physical training is reduced to three obligatory sessions per week.
The chatter ebbs away when Tobias enters the room. My heart misses a beat at the sight of him. He peeks at me for a second, although his face gives nothing away.
"Initiates," he shouts. "Listen."
Immediately everyone falls silent and turns their head to him.
"Before we start training today, I have to fill you in on some new developments. As you all know, there have been some serious incidents lately regarding you, initiates. A stabbed eye, a serious fight," — he glares over to Peter and Drew — "and some attempts at blackmail in Lauren's group. Therefore, to not lose more of you to unnecessary injuries, Dauntless leadership has decided to allocate each of you an individual room to stay in until initiation. There are enough spare rooms throughout the compound, and we're currently getting them prepared so you can move in on Sunday evening."
That's some big news. Everyone cheers and claps their hands, and I can feel a kind of relief spread over us. I'm glad I'll get my privacy back tomorrow.
But Tobias isn't done talking. He gestures us to calm down and listen to him again.
"In addition, it's now up to the instructors to decide the number of cuts at initiation. The leaders want to recruit as many new members as possible, as long as they pass second stage and are capable of working for Dauntless. So try hard, strain your physical and mental strength, and you can all become full members."
I can't believe what I hear, and so can't the others. We all start speaking at a time. Christina turns to hug me and I hug her back. It's still strange to do that, even if we're friends, but it feels good.
Tobias calls us back to silence once more, and he's all Four again as he commands us to run. Nobody dares to talk anymore as we start to jog some rounds along the walls of the room. It's big enough to run a little to warm up our bodies, but not as big that you could do round after round without getting your head spinning. For cardio training we usually go to another room with treadmills and ergometers. I prefer running outside and hope there will be an opportunity again soon.
After the warm-up, we do a kind of circuit training. There are several stations with different exercises, from sit-ups to throwing small yellow balls at human-shaped targets to rope skipping. It feels good to concentrate on the various tasks and to use all my muscles. I enjoy the strength my body has gained through the first stage of initiation. I'm not weak anymore and therefore much more confident in my movements. I sigh: If only I could transfer this confidence to how I generally feel about my body.
Tobias
I oversee the training session like any other day: It means checking that everyone does the exercises the right way, correcting someone every now and then or giving advice on how to improve skills. All the time I keep shooting glances at Tris. She's focused today. I hope that's a good sign. Sometimes I think she's looking over to me, but every time I turn towards her, her eyes are already somewhere else.
I wonder if I should go over and start talking to her. I have a notion that she won't be the one to make the first move. Not in here, with the whole group around. After I've been to every initiate except Tris, I pluck up courage and shift to her side at the ball throwing station.
"You're doing well today," I begin.
She doesn't step away from me.
"Thank you," she answers politely.
I explain to her how she can improve the movement of her arm when aiming the balls at the targets placed in front of the wall, and she mirrors my actions. At least she isn't angry with me anymore.
Maybe I'm pushing my luck, but I need to know if we're alright. I step behind her and lay my right hand on hers to demonstrate her what to do. At first, I think she'll evade my touch. However, she shows no sign that she doesn't want my hand on hers. I like how my big hand covers her smaller one completely. I repeat the motion a few times more than necessary, not wanting to let go of her hand. Eventually I have to break contact to not draw the other's attention. Tris hits the target right in the center and turns to me proudly.
"Very good. Now try again to automatize what you've learned."
She nods and I move on to Will to control his progress at the punching bag.
For the rest of the lesson I'm turning over possibilities in my head how to be alone with Tris after training to talk to her. We should meet at my apartment, for there we'd be undisturbed. I just need one moment with her to tell her to come there this afternoon.
When I announce the end of today's training, I think she tries to linger. But then Christina links arms with her and accompanies her out. Shit, there goes my plan. I stay behind while everyone files out and start to tidy up the room. I should have ordered Tris to stay and help me with that. Why didn't I get this idea five minutes ago? Well, I'll keep it in mind for the next time I want her alone.
I'm surprised by Tris' reappearance shortly after she has left. She looks over to me, uncertain.
"I think I forgot my jacket."
It's obvious that she's made that up. She wasn't wearing one when I came in earlier. Judging by her biting her bottom lip unconsciously, she knows that I know that. I close the distance between us, so I can speak quietly.
"I'm glad you came. I'm sorry for my reaction yesterday. Can we talk later?"
"Yes. I owe you an explanation, I guess."
"How about this afternoon? I have to give Eric a hand with the initiate's rooms first, but I'll be at home around four."
"At four, seriously?" she smiles. "I think I can keep that in mind."
I take her hand in mine and squeeze it. "I can't wait to see you."
"Me neither," she says and moves her thumb over the back of my hand.
We stay like that for a few seconds until she lets go.
"I have to get back to Christina, or she'll come looking for me," she says apologetically.
I nod, wanting her to know that it's okay, and then she leaves. I check my watch. It's only about four hours until I get to see her again, but it seems like a whole week without her. And as soon as I'm finished in here, I have to go to help with the apartments. At least that will keep me busy during the day. Plus, once Tris has a room on her own to stay in, things might be a lot easier for us.
Tris
I change clothes at least for the tenth time. Christina has taken me shopping with her. She's looking forward to going out tonight and wants to buy herself a new dress for the occasion. And in the afternoon she's meeting Will for coffee. There isn't much time left until their date, so Christina can't bring me too many new outfits anymore. It's strange to see myself in sexy dresses, skirts and tops that are all a little too tight or too short for me to feel comfortable in.
"Isn't there anything that has more fabric than cut-outs?" I ask from inside the changing room.
"Just a moment, Tris."
I put the dress I tried on last back on the hanger and sigh. This whole shopping thing takes much longer than I thought. At least it keeps my mind occupied, so I don't have time to muse over my upcoming conversation with Tobias.
"Okay, your personal shopping assistant has got some stuff here that you'll probably like better," I hear Christina shout over the door.
I open it a little to exchange the clothes I've already tried on with the new ones she has brought. This time she has picked only three outfits and has chosen them according to my requests. The first is a simple black dress that ends right under my knees. Its sleeves almost reach my elbows and it fits me perfectly without being skintight. There's a silk flower knitted to the left waist that catches the eye. I instantly like wearing it as I turn from side to side in front of the mirror.
"And?" Christina asks.
"It's good," I reply and step out of the cubicle to show her.
"Wow, it really fits you well. You should take it." She grabs my hair tie and pulls it out of my ponytail. "Looks even better like this."
I turn to the mirror and see what she means. My hair falls softly around my face, a sight that I still have to get used to.
"Go on, try the next one," Christina urges. "I only have ten minutes left, I'm sorry."
I put on the second dress, but its asymmetric cut doesn't suit me, although in general it's nice. The last one is a set of a black skirt that covers most of my thighs and a sleeveless top with small white dots and lace at the neckline. It looks good on me and I like that it makes my chest seem a little bigger than it is. In the end I decide to buy it, as well as the dress. I hope there'll be occasions to wear both and I think of Tobias and how much I want him to tell me that I look good, like he has done once before.
I say goodbye to Christina in the pit when I see Will strolling over to us.
"Wish me good luck," she whispers to me.
"Good luck," I whisper back and smile at her. "Have fun."
Her eyes twinkle as she says, "I will."
I pass by the dormitory to drop off my new acquisitions on my way to Tobias' apartment. I stop in front of his door, take a deep breath and knock.
DISCLAIMER: I own neither the Divergent world nor the characters, they belong to Veronica Roth.
