The rolling clouds painted the world outside gray, and silver streams of rain spat down from the heavens and collided with the window with sharp, hollow noises. Under Haruhi's orders, I drew the blinds over the glass, locking the room in darkness. A low, rumbling sound shook somewhere in the distance, and moments later, the sky flickered neon blue. Flashes of white-azure light flooded the clubroom through the curtains, and Suzumiya's grinning face glowed ominously in the dark.

Slowly, as though she were handling a precious jewel, she popped open the box and pried out the disc. Her fingers gently pressed the DVD into the mouth of the player, and the machine swallowed with a mechanical gulp.

With a final sigh, I wandered to my seat. The chairs had been realigned to accommodate our movie-viewing experience, and I now sat near the door, on the end of the row. Suzumiya sat opposite, Koizumi was on her right, and Nagato was beside me.

Bzzzzzmm

The sudden vibration of my cellphone scared the hell out of me, and I jolted upright in my chair. Just as my hands touched the device, Haruhi was there to stop me.

"Kyon!" she hissed like a snake, eyes full of venom. "No phones in the theater."

Theater? We drew the blinds and turned off the lights. That's like making a pillow-castle and calling it Fort Knox.

I nodded and pulled out my phone in order to turn it off. "Yeah, yeah," I told her, my finger finding the power button automatically. The small screen of my phone flickered and died, and my eyes barely caught the ink-black message that flashed before me.

Incoming Call From:

Mikuru Asahina

Miss Asahina? Why was she calling me? Come to think of it... where was Mikuru?

My eyes darted around the room, searching for a head of red hair in the gray-black light. Nothing. She was nowhere to be seen. Even her maid's outfit hung untouched and forgotten upon the rack of clothes behind us.

I thought about asking Koizumi, but Haruhi would've probably given me a penalty for talking in the 'theater.' And because I valued my life, I decided against that. Mikuru was probably just sick, anyway. Maybe she just wanted someone to pick up her schoolwork or something. Of course, there was also the possibility that she might've been warning us about a disastrous time anomaly or another, but that thought didn't cross my mind as the opening credits of 'Maggot Food' began to roll in blood-red text.


"My name is Xavier Bloodshadow. This world... my world... is infested by ravenous creatures..."

'Xavier Bloodshadow'? I groaned aloud. "You've got to be kidding me..."

Haruhi shushed me harshly without tearing her eyes from the screen.

"... creatures we used to call maggot food; corpses. But it's much easier to call them...zombies."

I sighed to myself uselessly and rubbed my temples between my forefingers. This was going to be one hell of a movie...


"Xavier! Your arm! It's been..."

"Bitten. I know."

"W-what're we going to do?"

"There's only one thing we can do... I'm going to have to amputate it."

Koizumi and Suzumiya both gasped. Nagato blinked. I held back a moan.

"Whatever happens, don't let me stop cutting."

There was a horrid scream and a spurt of blood as our badass protagonist dug the saw into his arm. You could totally see the rubber skin and fake blood. All the same, Haruhi jumped in her seat and Koizumi visibly flinched. I suddenly felt something tighten around my hand, and I jumped a little as well when I saw Yuki holding my palm in her fingers.

"Nagato?" I asked, making sure to whisper, even though there was no way Haruhi could hear me over the screaming television. "Are you... scared?"

She looked at me emotionlessly, and I could feel her cold fingers loosen their grip on me. "No," she denied firmly, turning back to the TV.

"Look out!"

"Brains!"

A wretched, puke-green and piss-gold zombie leapt onscreen, howling horribly. Everyone, including me, jolted at the sight and suddenness of the noise. And Nagato's hand wrapped tighter around mine.

I watched her expressionless gaze meet mine. "You sure you're not scared?" I chuckled.

"Yes," she answered, voice never changing.

I smiled softly and pulled my arm from her grasp, moving it behind her head and around her shoulders. She seemed unfazed by the contact, but I swore I felt her tense muscles loosen ever so slightly.


"I've come a long way..."

I yawned a little as the movie finally wound down, and after an hour and a half of non-stop zombie-killing action, I was ready to call it quits. Koizumi struggled to keep his head up, Nagato had taken to leaning on my shoulder, and I was trying my best to think of anything besides counting sheep. Suzumiya, however, had no trouble staying awake for the final line of monologue that the film had to offer.

"... after all I've killed, you'd think that I'd have at least made a dent in the zombie populous..."

According to the back of the box, there had been only twenty extras. That makes twenty zombies. That means twenty less undead in the entire world population of infected people. You have a long way yet to go, my friend.

"... but no. My quest will go on. I am Xavier Bloodshadow."

A drooling, rotting husk of a man stood silently behind the hero on the TV, and the zombie roared as it rushed at him, horrendous claws raised high. Then the screen cut to black.

"And it's me versus the maggot food."

The credits rolled even though we'd seen it all before at the start of the movie. I let out a loud and well-deserved yawn that sounded more like a howl than anything else. Koizumi lolled his head back and blinked awake. Nagato's eyes flickered open as though she'd been sleeping, but I highly doubted she ever seriously slept. And Haruhi... well...

"That was awesome!"

Our brigade leader nearly kicked over her chair as she exploded from her seat, spewing enthusiasm as she went. Her brown eyes were electric in the dim light, and I could see the reflection of the gray rain in her fiery gaze.

"I mean did you see how he killed that one? And that other one with the-... with the-... BLAM! The shotgun! There were guts everywhere!"

She randomly picked the sleepy-looking Nagato out of the three of us, shaking her small shoulders as she squealed, "Do you remember that part, Yuki?"

Nagato nodded solemnly. "I remember every part."

"Because it was so freaking cool!" Haruhi declared. "And the part where he had to cut off his own arm? That was so gross. Wasn't it, Kyon?"

I nodded as well. It was pretty gross indeed.

"Oh, man, and that cliffhanger!" she went on. "The zombie just jumping out at us, and the bit about 'maggot food,' I mean jeez. That was a rip-off." Suzumiya sighed in extreme disappointment. "I guess we'll just have to watch the second movie some other time, huh, Koizumi?"

There was no reply.

"Koizumi?"

Itsuki let out a guttural snore.

"Koizumi!"

"Huh... what?" he mumbled, unwittingly incurring the wrath of God and all her fury. "Oh. Yeah, I guess we will..."

He rubbed the back of his head nervously when he realized what he'd just done. Haruhi was seething, growling with the intensity of a nerd who just heard somebody confuse Star Wars and Star Trek. "Did you fall asleep?"

"N-no," he argued pointlessly. "I was just... resting my eyes, was all."

"Damn it, Koizumi!"

I stood and stretched my tired body as Haruhi began to chew off Itsuki's ears about theater etiquette. My hands drifted wearily to my phone, and I flipped open the screen as I picked up my backpack. "Goodnight," I said mindlessly, dismissing myself and wandering out the door. For a split-second, I thought I heard Nagato say my name behind me, like she wanted to tell me something, but I shrugged the idea off because I was tired and late as hell.

As I descended the stairs and finally walked out into the school courtyard, I glanced down at my open phone. The light rain pattered against my jacket as I looked in astonishment at the white screen. Two solitary drops of water fell from the sky and splashed into the glass, bleeding murky, silver water across the words displayed on my phone.

17 Missed Calls From:

Mikuru Asahina

17 New Messages From:

Mikuru Asahina