Sam awoke shivering slightly. The thick duvet had slipped off her shoulders and the fire had died down. The pain in her ankle had returned as she guessed that the medication Janet had given her earlier had worn off.
Had it all been a dream? She thought, trying to shake off the fogginess in her mind. The last thing she remembered she'd been falling asleep in the arms of her commanding officer. She shook her head. No that couldn't be right. She tried to remember how that might have happened. She sat up suddenly thinking about how she'd stretched her hand out to grab his wrist – the groggy part of her mind had thought it was a good idea at the time. Unfortunately that was the part of her mind that had taken over thanks to the drugs.
Sam sat with her head in her hands as she remembered the way she'd let Jack dig himself into a hole with his apology. It had just been too much fun to see him struggling. She shivered again and wished that his arms were still around her, still comforting and protecting her. She pushed the thought away quickly. Those kinds of thoughts were far too dangerous and if the meds had worn off she had absolutely no excuse for letting them slip out.
And yet, her mind wandered yet again to that forest and the way he'd pushed her against the tree. The feel of his whole body against hers, the desperate way he'd held her wrist and how much she'd been willing to let him hold her like that. Just like she'd let him hold her on the sofa an hour before. How could she resolve this for herself? Was the only reason for his actions the abduction? Yes, she told herself, she'd had horrible nightmares since then but it wasn't the first time it had happened. But it was the first time that Jack had told her that he'd had nightmares about losing her, about finding her dead. Nightmares that were so reflective of her own that it scared her. In her own, she was screaming for his help and could hear him but he never arrived in time, the doctors strapping her down and slicing her open. But she hadn't told him that - there was no need to add to his worries. She got up slowly and wrapped the duvet around her again.
As Sam made a fresh cup of coffee, she wondered at the fact that he was having nightmares about her at all. Sam hoped that her actions in the forest had reassured him that she was alive and that she wasn't leaving him any time soon. It would be enough for her to provide him with that solace. The almost kiss was only because in that moment she'd needed to feel alive as well. The weeks before had been full of her own nightmares and it had been all too easy to let him take the lead. Somehow the idea that he still held those feelings for her was comforting. She knew now that he would do anything to get to her. Perhaps she had begun to doubt the feelings that had been expressed by the Colonel two years earlier. But the revelations in the forest (not to mention his actions) made it clear in her mind that he still cared about her a great deal and the passion between them still existed. She would have to be careful from now on. She couldn't allow a slip up like that again, but then she hoped that they had both managed to find some resolution.
Sam took a couple more of the painkillers Janet had prescribed and hobbled back to her place on the sofa. Forgetting about the fire, she took another sip of her - now cold - coffee before slipping back into the place where the Colonel had held her not two hours before. Once more, she wished that he was still there to offer his warm comfort. She attempted to push the thoughts away again as sleep came over her. She dreamed not of hospital beds and scalpel-wielding doctors but of a peaceful breeze by open water and a pair of strong arms holding her close to a warm and familiar body.
-.-.-.-.-.-
Jack visited Sam several times the week she was off but never alone. He was always with Daniel and Teal'c. Sam was glad of this as she still didn't trust herself on the meds Janet had prescribed and really didn't want a repeat of the sofa incident (as she liked to call it) as lovely as it had been.
Now she was back at the SGC doing physio to help her ankle and catching up on the work that had backed up in her absence. Sam had been studiously avoiding the Colonel when she wasn't with Daniel and Teal'c; she was no longer embarrassed about what had happened as Jack had made it clear there was nothing to be worried about in his own particular way. No, it wasn't embarrassment it was just a matter of not trusting herself and the fact that the memory of what had happened in the forest was just too close to the surface. She found her heart racing any time that he came close and neither of them could afford for anyone to find out about what had happened. So she'd been leaving him alone and apparently he'd had the same idea.
Sam wandered into the commissary to grab something before heading back to her lab. As she picked up her tray with something on it that looked mostly inedible, she spotted Jack at a table by himself. She realised that she wouldn't be able to sit at a separate table without the rumour mill going into overdrive about why she wasn't sitting with her team mate. She sighed inwardly and walked towards him.
"May I join you sir?"
Jack looked up at her, a smile passing across his features at the sight of her and he reached a hand to the seat opposite his own. Yep, her heart rate was definitely rising. Not helpful.
"Thanks." Sam said as she sat down awkwardly.
"Ankle still not a hundred percent Carter?" Genuine concern shined in his eyes as Sam looked up from her food.
"Getting there sir. Physio once a day is just a bit hard on it but I should be fit for duty by the end of next week." She tried to sound cheerful.
"Good. Can't be very easy to get to sleep with the strapping though?" His tone was nonchalant but she knew what he was really asking. She looked into his eyes before answering. Again, she could see nothing but concern in the brown eyes across the table from her.
"Actually I've been sleeping on the sofa. Much more comfortable." She hoped that he would understand. That he would see that she appreciated what he'd done that day in her home. Sam noticed a small smile creeping at the side of his mouth.
"Oh really Carter?" His eyes twinkled but he wasn't giving anything more away verbally.
Sam was glad that their ease in conversing was returning – their unique way of communicating without saying a word hadn't been lost during all that had happened in the last week. She needed to know that he was ok though, that he'd at least got some resolution.
"How about you sir? Managed to sort out the problem with your alarm clock?" She hoped that the vague reference to his excuse for not sleeping well would serve her purpose. She looked at him earnestly, willing him to understand her real question. Luckily, the look he shot her told her that he understood – that he was grateful that she would ask whether the nightmares had gone. The look was honest and open and she knew that he realised that his answer could provide resolution for them both.
"Oh I sleep just fine now Carter. Just fine." And Sam smiled as she dug into the plate of food before her. 'Just fine' was just about the best answer she could have hoped for.
A/N: This really is the final chapter. Really. Promise. I struggle writing for Sam so this was a challenge for me. Thanks to CSIGurlie07 for the gentle nudges in the right direction.
