Disclaimer: I don't own any rights to SON and all of those good things
kirax29: thanks, that's so sweet. So I'll be trying to write as much as I can, but I'm in the process of moving and stuff so yeah sorry if some of them take a while
"You did not date Aiden," she says shocked.
"I did," I say in a matter of fact manner, "I dated him for two years."
"Hmm… interesting," she says. I raise my eyebrow at her.
"What's so interesting about it?" I ask. I knew she was new here, but me dating Aiden is not like a secret.
"I've heard things about you," she says, "But I didn't hear that."
"Yeah? What kind of things?" I ask smirking at her.
"Just things," she says.
"Must not be too bad if you're here with me right now," I say.
"You're optimistic," she says smiling at me. I laugh.
"Sure, I'm very optimistic," I say. She looks at me confused. I look away. She doesn't know me yet. I look at my phone. "It's getting late. Do you want me to take you home?"
"Sure," she replies. I like the silent car rides with her. I get the same calm sense that I do when I'm sitting at the beach. There is no pressure. I wonder why.
I pull into her driveway. "Well thanks for the night, Ash," she says. Ash. Where did that come from? I get that warm feeling again. I get a feeling. I feel something.
"You too," I say. She nods and gets out of my car. "I'll see you Monday, then?"
"Yeah, of course," she replies. I smile. It's a real smile. "That one's real." I guess I'm not as good as I think with all the hiding. She shuts the door and walks up to her door. I wait till she's safe inside before driving away.
When I get to my house, I head straight for my room. Kyla stops me in the hallway.
"This is new," she comments.
"What's new?" I ask.
"Normally on a night like tonight, you'd have some girl over right now," she says.
"I'm not really feeling it tonight," I tell her.
"I know what you mean," she says. I notice the bowl of ice cream she holding, and I hear John Mayer playing from her room.
"Do you think you might want to watch a movie?" I ask her. I shouldn't let her suffer alone. She smiles wide.
"I would love that, Ashley," she says happily. I let her pick out the movie. It's some romantic comedy. She falls asleep halfway through. I pull a blanket over her and go to my room.
I crash down onto my bed. I know I won't sleep, but I lay there anyway. It's been months since I've had decent sleep. When I do fall asleep, I have nightmares or I wake up every hour or so.
After about an hour or two, I drift off to sleep.
It's dark. I'm at a concert.
I look on stage. My dad is there. He's playing a solo. He's smiling. He's happy.
It fades to black.
There's a car. There is smoke coming out of it. I walk slowly up to it. I peer inside. He's not breathing. I'm not breathing.
I wake up in a cold sweat. It's three in the morning. I don't want to go back to sleep. I go down to the kitchen and make a cup of coffee. I sip it slowly and just sit.
Sometimes when I'm alone, my mind just drifts off to that night. I think about the call. And then I rushed to the hospital. They told us that he died instantly, on impact. My heart dropped. I sunk to the ground. I remember crying a lot. That was the first night I had a panic attack. They've been happening ever since that night.
I finish my cup of coffee. 4 a.m. I go back up to my room. I try to fall asleep again. My mind drifts to the night I just had with Spencer. I haven't feel that sort of ease with someone since Aiden. Mind drifts to Aiden.
Aiden loved me once. He really did, and I really loved him. Then after a while when he told me he loved me it felt fake. It seemed liked he no longer cared for me. I guess I was right because he broke up with me after some time. Then he started dating Madison. I probably would have just let them be, but Madison felt threatened by me. So then she and I stopped being friends. And now my dad is gone, and I somehow lost everything I've ever cared for.
Empty. Empty is what I feel. Empty. Lonely. Maybe they're the same thing.
On Monday, I go to school. It starts off as a slow day until Spencer sits by me at lunch.
"Hi, Ash," she says. Ash. She said it again.
"Hey, Spencer," I say. I'm surprised she's sitting by me. The table of cheerleaders is looking over at us. "Are you sure you want to be sitting with me?"
"Why wouldn't I?" she asks and tilts her head to the side.
"Well you did say you've heard stuff about me," I reply. She waves her hand at me.
"It's their problem not mine," she says. She smiles at me. At lunch she tells me more about herself. She tells me about her family. Her family is hardcore Catholic. This adds to my confusion of why she's sitting with me. Her two older brothers also go to school here, Clay and Glen. She gestures towards the 'jock' table and points out Glen. She looks around for Clay but can't seem to find him.
She asks me about my family but then the bell rings. I rush off to class to avoid the question. I leave a very confused Spencer behind at the lunch table.
At the end of the day, she meets me by my locker.
"Have dinner with me tonight," she says.
"Why?" I ask. It's not that I don't want to; it's just weird having a friend around.
"I want to get to know you better," she says. "I want to be friends with you, Ashley." She says my name slowly.
"Okay," I say. She smiles. I give her my number, and she says she will text me later.
I'm always open for suggestions/criticism if you guys have any. Thanks for reading. Have a nice day :)
