Chapter 3

Gordie

It got dark soon after that, so we made an effort to sleep. I didn't and I don't think he did either. I was thinking about what had happened earlier by the river. I thought about it a lot. Eventually I realized I wasn't jealous of him, I was jealous because I couldn't have him. I mean, he did run away with me, but not in the way you're thinking. Not in the way I thought I wanted. I had to stop thinking about Chris in that way. He's my best friend, I can't. Besides, I ain't no fag, I don't care what my dad says.

"Hey Gordie?" I was startled by him breaking the silence.

"Yeah?"

"You didn't, see anything when I was, you know, by the river?"

"N-No, I didn't see anything."

"Seriously, Gordie, did you see anything?"

"Maybe just a little. Not a lot, I swear, but, I saw a little."

"I knew it! I never should have done that. My clothes weren't even that dirty. I just wanted to forget about my dad. With my blood all over that shirt it felt like i couldn't get away from him, because he's the reason I'm always so fucked up, you know?"

"Yeah, I know." We were silent for a moment after that.

"Hey man, I never thanked you. For taking that punch for me. I didn't really understand what had happened until I saw you bleeding. Thank you."

"Don't worry about it, man. I'd do it for any of the old gang, you know that."

"No, i'm going to worry about it, because you wouldn't do that for anyone else." Chris sighed. " When I was changing by the river, I knew you'd be back soon, and I was kind of-" he stopped for a moment, preparing for what he was going to say next. "I was secretly hoping that- that you did see me." he turned to me, hoping for any kind of response. After I had disappointed him, he said quietly, "Just forget it, Gordie, forget I told you anything, okay? You have to promise that you'll never tell a soul about this though, you hear me? Or i'll beat the shit out of you."

I knew he wasn't kidding. He did it to Teddy a long time ago when he overheard him saying something a few years ago. Teddy was blue and purple for days. After that, nobody outside of our gang messed with Chris Chambers again. Until just about a week after we ran away, that is. I'll get to that part of the story later, though.

"I promise."

The next morning Chris acted like the whole thing never even happened. I wanted to talk about it, but he seemed pretty upset that I didn't answer him. Chris went out to get some more firewood, so I let him have his space and stayed at the campsite by myself.