On that one fateful day, everything I had was lost to me, and in the worst possible way. That innocent, joyous perception I once had of the world was shattered the instant those dark, foreboding eyes had peered ominously over the wall, reminding mankind of the presence of our greatest enemies - the Titans. But who was the true enemy? Who was the real threat?
That day, I vowed to seek revenge. I was going to right the wrongs, even if it meant I would have to take drastic measures to do so.
Chapter Three: Fight Back
(WARNING: Strong language, violence.)
Just when we thought all was a hopeless cause, Mikasa arrived onto the scene, out of breath and in search of Eren. As soon as she had arrived, everyone had lifted their heads up, a small glimmer of hope shining in their dark, traumatized eyes. The girl scanned the crowd for that familiar tuft of dark brown hair but could not find him. Speaking of Eren, just where was he? It wasn't possible he had gotten eaten, was it? I saw no sign of either him nor his team, save for Armin who was a crying mess in the corner. Mikasa hastily approached him, stooping down to his level to console him.
"Where's Eren?" she asked.
"Thomas Wagner, Nack Teaz, Millius Zermusky, Mina Carolina, Eren Jaeger... bravely fell in the line of duty..." Armin piped up.
Eren's dead?
Burying my face in my hands, I ran my hands through my hair, slowly rocking back and forth to calm myself. People were counting us. We couldn't afford anyone holding everyone back by being an emotional mess. The grieving, the guilt, the anger - it could all wait until later, when it was appropriate. For now, we had to piece ourselves back together and figure out a way to get everyone back into shape. From the looks of it, there was still a thin strand of hope that everyone was clinging onto - the key to our survival was getting everyone back onto their feet, even if our prospects looked bad.
"Lilianna," a voice called. It was Connie, who offered me a hand. "We're about to storm the Headquarters. You coming or what?"
"Of course I am," I said, taking his hand. If I wanted to recover, now was my chance. At least I knew I wasn't alone on this one.
Guided by Mikasa and Jean, who rallied up the soldiers idly standing around, everyone proceeded with the plan to storm the Headquarters and cut down anything standing in our way. I regained my strength and will to fight, and side-by-side with Connie, I headed towards the front of the group, wielding my swords and zooming straight ahead. I wanted to relive the thrill of Titan-killing but found myself right behind Mikasa, who had taken down all Titans standing in her way. That left less for me to kill, so I was forced to change routes and took one a different path by myself. People eventually followed suit, tailing right behind me as I mowed down any Titan in my path.
"What the hell, Lilianna?! Since when were you so fast?" Connie yelled from afar, seeing the joy ride I was cruising on.
"Since when was I slow? That's the question here," I hollered, my confidence gradually returning as I burrowed my way through the neck of another Titan.
"Almost there," I muttered, seeing that the Headquarters was looming up ahead. I suddenly heard a crash right beside me and stopped, skidding along the rooftop until I came to a screeching halt. Mikasa had run out of gas, and had fallen down, Armin and Connie diving after her. Reiner Braun and Bertholdt Fubar, top-ranked students from my class, saw me slow down and urged me to continue on without them.
"Keep moving," Reiner called.
"They'll catch up later on. The most important thing now is for us to continue or we'll all end up dead," Bertholdt added.
Tom, a peer of ours, had run out of gas and had landed himself in a sticky situation. Titans, attracted by the high concentration of humans, began to swarm around him, looking for a meal. Some of us flew in to rescue him, while Jean ordered everyone else to stay back. It was far too late to help them, anyway. I watched as they were easily devoured, shaking my head and reluctantly moving on. Bertholdt and Reiner were right - I couldn't waste any more time by standing there when I only had a limited amount of gas left in the tank.
Propelling myself high up into the sky, I aimed right for one of the windows of the Headquarters, bracing myself as I went right through, tumbling roughly onto the floor of the room inside. Members of the supplies squad were huddled under the desks, crying in a state of helplessness as Titans roamed around the storage base below. The others came in after me, Marco and Jean being the first and everyone else following. I dashed over to Marco, whose eyes were wide in that familiar look of pure desolation.
"Marco!" I exclaimed, grabbing his shoulder.
He looked at me, relieved that I had survived up until that point. "Lilianna, you made it. Thank goodness..." He glanced around the room, as if counting the faces. "Just how many of us made it here?"
Crying out in anguish, Jean realized how many people had just died on the way to the Headquarters. "I utilized my own comrades' deaths... Just how many people died on my watch?"
Shuddering, his trembling eyes suddenly came to a rest on the people huddled under the table. "Hey, you guys are from the supplies troops, right?"
"Yeah-"
A smacking sound was heard as the quivering boy from the supplies troops was delivered a blow to the face. Marco held the enraged Jean back, yelling at him to stop before he could continue unleashing his pent-up frustration on the guy.
"It's their damn fault! They fucking hung us out to dry!" Jean shouted angrily, trying to free himself from Marco's hold. "So many people died pointlessly because of you, you asshole!"
The girl, who had risen to defend their actions, covered her companion with her arms. "Titans were invading the supplies!"
"We couldn't do a single thing because of you! You should have figured something out! That's your job, isn't it?" Jean retaliated mercilessly, showing no signs of letting down. If things continued this way, an ugly brawl would ensue and having emotions getting out of hand certainly would not benefit us in any way. Knowing Jean, he wouldn't let them slip away so easily, so it was up to the rest of us to step in and stop him before he got too carried away.
I placed a hand on his shoulder, forcing him to drop it. There was no use pointing fingers now that we were here. Besides, we would end up needing their help anyway if we wanted any supplies. He glanced at me, his hard stare instantly softening at the sight of my face.
Then...
"Watch out!"
A great boom sounded as something suddenly pounded in through one of the walls, causing the floor beneath our feet to quake with a violent, angry force. Debris blasted in at the impact spot, narrowly missing me as I shielded my neck and head with my hands. A huge Titan had knocked a huge crater into the wall, giving it and other loitering Titans a clear view of all of us hiding inside. The stone began to crumble away, threatening to cave in as the Titans jutted their heads inside, eyes wide and alert and mouths hanging open, saliva running down their chins as they eyed us hungrily. There were way too many people gathered in one spot; it was only natural that something of this nature would happen.
"N-no way..."
"We're all gonna die...!"
"Get inside! They'll knock down the whole wall soon enough! We gotta get outta sight!"
"Where is she? Where's Mikasa?!"
"She ran out of gas and got devoured a long time ago!"
"What? Shit, shit shit... we're fucked, we're totally fucked!"
Panic spread fast and people ran for their lives, quickly heading to exit the room and going deeper into the building. There was a series of crashes as three figures tumbled into the building through unbroken windows, landing in a pile beside me. It was Connie, who I long feared dead, along with a very-much alive Mikasa and Armin. Connie had just made it in the nick of time, having run out of gas with that last maneuver that had landed the three of them safely within the headquarters.
"Hey, guys!" Connie announced, pointing outside the gaping hole. "That's an Abnormal who kills its own kind!"
A 15-Meter Class Titan was running around outside, punching and slaughtering as many Titans as he could, including the ones surrounding the Headquarters. Astounded, I approached the crater, gazing outside at the long-haired Titan angrily bashing in the face of another, beating it down until it could stand no longer. It was unlike anything I could ever comprehend - a Titan, going against its own kind? That was impossible.
"If we make good use of it, we can escape out of here with no problems!" Connie continued on, clearly enjoying his time in the spotlight.
"Make use of it?"
"You mean to rely on a Titan for help? That wouldn't sound out of place in a dream, but in real life..."
"I don't care if it's an Abnormal or whatever. Just let it carry on its little rampage until it runs out of fuel. Realistically speaking, this is the only plan likely to give us the highest chance of survival," Mikasa explained to a crowd of mortified, uncertain soldiers.
"She's right," I consented to her plan. "At this rate, this Abnormal will get rid of all of the Titans crawling around the Headquarters. We'll only have the ones downstairs to deal with, then, if all goes well. I'm going with their plan."
Mikasa and I exchanged nods, Connie sighing in relief. "Great! Then let's get outta here first, then plan for later."
A group of graduates banded out in search of supplies as the rest of us congregated in a separate, internal storage room. A majority of the people were panicking, crying or falling into a state of shock. Meanwhile, I sat alone in a corner with my back against the wall and my eyes closed as I tried to get some rest. Reiner, Annie, Bertholdt, and Connie sat close by, discussing everything Connie knew about the Abnormal running loose outside. I listened in quietly but offered no commentary or questions. A group of girls were seated close by me, eyes closed and silent sobs escaping their throats as they prayed for a miracle.
Praying would get them nowhere.
"So, just how much do you know about that Titan?" Reiner demanded.
"Who cares? It saved us!" he retorted indignantly.
"That's true... Saving us, that's the first step," Reiner mused, just as the door swung open.
The group had returned with armfuls of old artillery rifles, coated in thick layers of dust and dirt. I was handed one and moved to wipe off the dust caking the weapon. I was also handed a few bullets, which I loaded into the barrel. Connie, who was observing in amazement, scooted over to me for help.
"How'd you do it so fast? Teach me!"
Moments later, after everyone was properly armed, Armin briefed everyone in on the strategy that he'd devised along with Marco and Mikasa. Everyone crowded around to look at the floor plan sprawled onto the ground, internally corresponding everything Armin said with the map.
"First, we're going to use the lift to lower people down through the central roofing. If those Titans waiting below are normal ones, they'll immediately be drawn to the center, as they are attracted to human concentration. While they're moving towards the lift, those on the lift will begin to simultaneously fire at their heads to rob them of their eyesight. As that's happening, seven people will ambush from the rooftops, going in and slicing their necks," he explained. "This strategy relies on us giving it our all in this one objective. Everyone's lives are on the line."
I joined those on the lift, loading up my gun and readying myself for what was to happen. Everyone piled onto the lifts, guns in hand and holding their breaths. I was back-to-back with Marco, who was placed in charge of calling the shots. The lift was slowly lowered into the supply room, immediately catching the interest of the Titans roaming through the stocks. There was a series of tense gulps as everyone set eyes on the Titans, who had already begun to lumber towards us. To our relief, they were all 3-4 meter class, normal type Titans.
I aimed my gun at the one coming my way, patiently awaiting Marco's call. Meanwhile, everyone else had frozen up in fear, being in such close proximity with the Titans and practically unguarded. I, however, calmly stared into the face of the long-haired one coming at me, cocking the gun and aiming directly for its eyes. I was keen on blasting them so bad that it would be impossible for it to ever regenerate them.
"Fire!"
The plan had been a success and now I had the opportunity to fill up my nearly empty gas tank. It was a relief, really, to finally be able to get what we had come for and get out of here. With our replenished gas, we could easily scale the wall and return to the safety of the unmarred territory. I was one of the first out and stood atop the Headquarters, watching as the Abnormal from before was being cannibalized by a batch of other Titans. Strangely enough, it showed no signs of regeneration either, which made it even more peculiar. I had a strange gut feeling that there was something in particular about this Abnormal that set it completely apart from the rest of its kind.
First of all, it had saved Connie, Mikasa, and Armin, then killed off of bunch of its own, paying no heed to the rest of us when it could have easily smashed the building and snacked on everyone hiding out inside. Now, it was being consumed by others and showed no signs whatsoever of being able to self-repair its wounds. In spite of its seemingly hopeless situation it managed to break free, beating down the ones that had tried to eat him, biting into the neck of an incoming one and flinging it like a sack of meat into a nearby building. It tossed its head back and gazed up into the sky, howling in fury.
It was almost as if it were some kind of manifestation of mankind's anger.
"Looks like it's finally run out of juice," Jean commented as the Abnormal fell face-first onto the ground. "It's no biggie, now is it? Let's go. There's no way we can make an ally out of that thing. A Titan is still a Titan."
"Jean. Wait." I held him back before he could leave. There was movement down by the fallen Titan but it was steaming so much it was hard to make out. Ignoring everyone's protests, I launched myself down to ground level, taking a few circumspect steps towards the Titan. If it were to attack me, I would have my swords ready to cut it down.
"Lilianna, you crazy or what? Get back up here!"
To everyone's utter bewilderment, a figure emerged from the base of the Titan's neck, rising up through the steam. It was Eren.
"Fuck... What the hell is going on?" Connie exclaimed, sitting down on the threshold of a restaurant and burying his head in his hands.
"It's confidential, but they're going to reveal it sooner or later," I answered to a curious, confused bunch.
Ymir scratched her head apathetically. "Confidential, huh? That's what they're calling this? We're sitting around here, waiting for God knows what."
"If we're just a little more patient, I'm sure we're bound to have some kind of announcement," Krista interjected softly. "Lilianna, what do you know about this?"
"Sorry. I don't think I can really say."
"Everyone's going to find out soon enough. There's no way they can hide this from everyone, at this rate... Besides..." Jean added, then looked up at the wall. "Something is taking place behind there as we speak."
"Where's Eren?" Krista asked. "Mikasa and Armin too, they don't seem to be around."
I shook my head, then glanced over at Marco, who was comforting Daz off to the side. He was a mess of tears and desolation, as was a majority of the others who had just been given a front-row seat to the terror and the brutality those Titans were capable of. I didn't blame him for being traumatized, but I looked down on his weak mind and the fact he was incapable of keeping himself together in a time where there was no room for weaklings like him.
It wasn't the time to be mourning - that could wait until later.
The blasting of a cannon disturbed the air, causing everyone to turn back and look at the wall. Just what was happening in there?
Before I knew it, I was suiting up for my second mission, the reconquest of Trost. Eren would be the primary focus of this task. After he had emerged from the body of that Abnormal Titan earlier, we had come to learn that he possessed some kind of strange ability, one that gave him the power to 'Titan-shift', as we termed it. He was entrusted with picking up a huge rock, carrying it over to the breach in the wall, and covering the hole the Titans were flooding in through. It was risky, Eren's Titan ability being an uncertain variable, so the ambiguity in the mission itself was enough to scare off large quantities of soldiers.
Dot Pixis, a well-respected, highly-renowned official from the Garrison, was the man in charge of this expedition. He seemed terribly confident in Eren's abilities. I knew for a fact it was all just an act - Eren's 'Titan-shifting' was capricious, after all. Nobody really knew whether or not he could pull off such a task and we were throwing so many lives away if he failed. All we had to do for now was to bait the Titans and draw them to one wall while Eren and the elite fighters moved to blockade the hole in the wall.
"There are so many of them," Reiner mused, seeing how many had massed together against the wall. There had be dozens and dozens and dozens of them congregating there, hands scraping against the wall as they tried in vain to scale the wall and reach all of us standing up top. The sheer number of Titans was terrifying, and that wasn't even all of them, only a small portion.
The task of drawing them all to one side was successful - however, the loss of life was still gruesome in spite of all of our attempts to prevent any deaths. The worst thing was, while someone was getting eaten, everyone was standing there, all the soldiers, watching in agony from where they stood, unable to do a thing. I kept my eyes focused down at the pit of Titans to avoid seeing things like that. I didn't have the stomach nor the heart to watch people die right before my eyes. Even as callous as I was, watching people perish before me was something I just couldn't bear, especially after all I had seen That Day.
A squad captain from the Garrison paced over, calling me and a few other graduates out. He briefed us on our task, which was to go down into Trost to lure the Titans towards the corner, keeping them from going after Eren.
"Do you understand? You won't have to fight. Cadets will form groups of three and run on the ground. Once you're under the wall, climb up and over it," the officer informed. "And try not to die. If by some minuscule chance any Titans stray away, we'll crush them."
"Minuscule chance? I'd say it's more likely than that," Jean muttered.
"Are we free to act as we see fit in an emergency?" Annie inquired. The officer turned, and nodded his head.
"If you can sort it out that way, sure."
"Kirschstein Team, move out!"
"Yes sir!"
Jean, Connie, and Annie set out together, leaving Marco, Edwin, and I remaining. We exchanged glances before starting as well, kicking right into gear. The three of us teamed up, moving together out into Titan territory. Only fifteen minutes into the mission, something went wrong. I had lost sight of Edwin, leaving Marco and I at a loss for a solution. He had somehow gone astray, disappearing before we even noticed. I stopped atop a clock tower, shielding my eyes from the harsh glow of the sun as I scanned the area for any sign of him. I saw Jean, Connie, and Annie not too far off, but Edwin was nowhere to be seen.
"Lilianna! No time to look for him. Let's lead these to the corner. We'll find him along the way, I'm sure of it. Let's go!" Marco shouted from the rooftop of another building. I hesitated for a moment before reluctantly following his lead, swinging past two 7-Meter Classes and attracting their attention. Zooming through the streets of the Trost District, I was able to see little bits and pieces of the destruction that the Titans had caused. Blood, disfigured corpses, debris, and body parts were strewn out all over like Christmas decorations during the winter season. Buildings were smashed into and demolished, and the wreckage was tremendous all over.
It would take days to collect and identify the bodies that we could and possibly weeks to patch up all of the damage. I thought about Jessie and Lyle and wondered - how would their families react to the horrible news?
I skidded to a sudden stop, pivoting around to stare at the four Titans that had lumbered after me. Just looking at their hideous faces, their dumb expressions, their disproportionate bodies made that desire to slaughter them even stronger than before. I wanted to experience that rush, that elevated glorious rapture as I sunk my blades into their flesh and tore out their necks, causing their blood to burst out as a flower would bloom in the springtime.
I drew my swords out, a wide smile tugging at my lips. "Today's your lucky day. We're about to have a lot of fun together."
Instead of continuing forward to the wall like Marco was, I stopped to satisfy my blood lust. I just couldn't contain my excitement as I leapt off and attached my anchor to the opposing wall, zipping towards the row of Titans. The first one reached out towards my line, getting its fingers chopped off by me in the process. I rounded it, going from the back and dicing a hole in its neck. The Titan behind it lunged at me with its mouth, missing me by several meters and stumbling over the body of the one before it.
"You're in for it now!" I sang, closing in and slicing a good chunk out. The hot blood splashed out from the gaping wound, splatting all over my uniform before evaporating into the atmosphere in puffs of steam. "How does that feel, huh? If only you had the brains to tell me how much it hurts."
The third and fourth Titan, who walked side-by-side, dragged their feet on the ground like zombies as they grinned down at me, baring their seemingly endless rows of rectangular teeth. They were so ugly, so repulsive, that I was compelled to torture them to the brink of whatever sanity they had. I was going to inflict upon them the most pain I could and carve up every inch of their body. I wanted it to rain Titan blood, so that I could bathe in the steaming hot drops until I was completely drenched in it. I wanted to dissect them, to tear out every nerve, every vein in their bodies to illicit as much torment as I possibly could.
"Come on, bring all of your fucking friends," I called, my hands dripping with the red, hot liquid. "Bring all of them over here so I can mince 'em all up..."
A new group had started to form, drawn in by all of the commotion. Out of nowhere, I heard a shriek ring out close by and saw that one of the Titans had picked up a grounded Edwin by his lines. I ran right through the legs of the Titans in front of me, narrowly escaping unscathed and dashed to his aid. I glided through the air, raising my swords as high as I could as I gained momentum, propelling myself in a spiraling motion down at the the beast.
"Go to hell!" I hollered as my swords came into contact with the flesh, cutting out the soft meat of its weak spot.
Edwin fell with a thud onto the ground, the Titan pitching forward down onto him. I thought quickly, shooting one of my anchors at the neck of the falling slab of meat and the other at the Titan next in line, pulling them in together. I killed the live one, the two collapsing in a single mound on the floor. Edwin managed to pick himself up and instead of helping me out, made a run for it and fled from the scene without so much as thanking me.
"Traitor, abandoning me like that," I growled in dissatisfaction and plugged in my blades, swapping them with new ones. I was surrounded from both sides, the two Titans from before right upon me.
I rolled, dodging their outstretched hands and found myself in the walking path of three others. I had somehow managed to completely trap myself, all because I had saved that good-for-nothing, who had to be over the wall by now. I was going to die, and die before I even joined the Survey Corps. I got onto my feet, running as fast as I could to get out of there. My swift feet were no match for the five Titans in the narrow street. I resorted to using my Maneuver Gear, a risky move knowing they could easily pinch the line between their fingers and have me in an instant.
I jumped up, aiming for the closest building and hoping that I could make a safe passage. The Titans, at least, were slow to react, so I managed to pass through without my line being grabbed.
"Ha," I laughed jovially, tossing my head back as the air rushed through my lungs. "That's gonna cost you your lives!"
I slashed down the three of them, leaving only two left. My blades had dulled and I only had a spare left for one hand, not two. Cursing aloud, I replaced one of them with a brand-new one and wiped the sweat from my brow. Somehow, I had beaten the odds and managed to survive being completely surrounded by 15-meter class Titans and lived to face off the last two. It was much too risky using a dull blade for the job, but there were no other options except to run, and I wasn't about to do that. If my parents were here and saw me scurrying away with my tail in between my legs, they would be disappointed in me for being a coward. I couldn't let them down by fleeing in the face of danger like everyone else did.
My strong sense of obligation pushed me forward to the battlefield and I bravely faced the horrid creatures with my swords at my sides. Sprinting dead ahead, I took a deep breath and prepared myself for attack. I hurled myself off the edge, my fingers pushing the triggers that would activate the shooting mechanisms. I would sway in a loop around the back to kill off one of them, then wind back around to finish the other one. It was a one-shot thing that I couldn't risk messing up. I had practiced it so religiously during my days as a trainee that I knew I couldn't get it wrong now.
Just when everything seemed to be going well, one of the mechanisms jammed and I found myself on the ride of my life.
(Author's Note: Hi! This is my first SNK fanfic and to tell you the truth, I have already written out the entire series. It's going to be seventeen chapters long, plus an epilogue. c: Please favorite and review! I love to get feedback, whether it be constructive criticism or other comments in general! Thank you~)
