Well, hello there! I was getting rather irritated by the lack of Stridercest that I liked, so I decided to write my own.
Warning: Bro(Dirk)/Dave, Male/male sex, adult themes, a bit of violence (maybe), pretty graphic sex. Lotsa swearing.
THE LAST SLICE
Dave is annoyed that his Bro always gets the last slice of pizza, so he decides to do something about it. It doesn't exactly go as planned...
Oh my [Insert expletive of choice here] guys thanks for the reviews. I'm posting another chapter for all you guys cause I wuuuuuuv yooooooooo.
-Yeah I don't own Homestuck or the Striders. I only own a pair of Bro-gloves and a plot bunny.
~*~This paragraph breaker is stupid BLUH~*~
When you woke up later in the day, you groggily sat up to check what the time was. Five p.m. Great. For a few seconds you didn't remember why you were sleeping at this time of day, usually you only stayed in your room if something had happened to do with making you want to avoid Bro, and as far as you could remember, nothing of the sort had happened-
Wait, wait.
Oh.
Right.
The memory made the heat rise in your cheeks, and you got out of bed reluctantly, slowly. On the bright side, your Bro apparently hadn't been here while you slept, because you could see his glasses across the room, slumped against the wall where you had violently chucked them. You walked over to them, there was no point keeping them from Bro any longer unless you wanted him to get really really fucking pissed off, which would probably lead to a lot of painful strifing. You bent down to pick them up, wondering why they had marker lines or something across them. Your eyes widened as you realised. Oh, fuck. When you had chucked them across the room, they had apparently hit the wall a little bit too hard, and now a fine web of cracks spread over the lenses.
Well, you may as well make funeral arrangements and write a will stating that you were leaving all your possessions to Egderp.
Of course, maybe Bro wouldn't notice. Maybe he's just- fucking hell, what were you thinking. Of course Bro would notice. They were his 'super sugoi anime shades'. You may as well go find him now, and confess. Maybe he'd be less harsh on you if you did that. Just maybe. You groaned and made your way to the door, Bro's shades clutched in your left hand, and you kind of wished you hadn't slept fully clothed. Oh well, if you slept naked Bro probably would have come into your room, and- Nope, no, not thinking of that, ever. You quickly banished the thought from your head. When had your mind become this filthy?!
... Oh, that's right, it was when your Bro jerked you off. You had almost forgotten. Anyway, being sarcastic to yourself aside, you needed to find Bro and apologise so that he didn't kill you. Not that he would actually kill you. Actually, no, he probably would if he wanted to.
~*~This paragraph breaker is stupid BLUH~*~
You found him watching TV on the futon, his orange eyes glued to the screen as though he hadn't noticed you entering, which he totally had. Because he always did. Always. You cleared your throat nervously, as though to announce your presence, even though you didn't need to because he had obviously known you were there.
"Sup, kiddo," he said as a way of greeting, not even glancing away from the TV. For some reason you felt weirdly jealous or something, but then you didn't, because you weren't going to be jealous of the fucking TV for having his attention on it instead of you. Nope. Definitely not. And you also weren't over-thinking this or anything, because that would be stupid.
"Bro, I kinda broke your shades," you decided it would be best to get this over with. You saw Bro visibly stiffen, and he turned his head slightly to look at you. Maybe this hadn't been the best idea, after all.
You barely saw your Bro as he flashstepped behind you, curling one arm around your waist so you couldn't get away. Oh god, you were completely, utterly fucked, weren't you.
"Pardon?" Bro's voice came from right beside your ear, but it certainly didn't make you jump slightly or anything. Not at all.
"I kinda broke your shades," you repeated, swallowing dryly. You knew he was overreacting on purpose, he didn't give a flying rainbow flavoured fuck about his shades, he was just using this as an excuse to fuck with you. His hand closed over the shades and tugged them away from you, and you gave them up without a struggle. Best to just let him have his fun and then get away without dying, you thought.
"Well, let's see. Twenty cracks. Alright then, kiddo," the way he said kiddo made you squirm, he actually sounded pissed off.
"Strife. Roof. Now," he ordered, flashstepping away from you again, "you're going to be taught a lesson,"
Well. Fuck your life.
~*~This paragraph breaker is stupid BLUH~*~
After twenty consecutive strifes in which you got your ass handed to you on a fucking silver platter every time, Bro finally stopped. You were on your knees now, his blade pressed to the back of your neck so you were forced to keep your head bent. This was fucking humiliating. It didn't help that on every opportunity during your strifing Bro had groped you. You weren't even entirely sure if he was fucking with you any more, or if he was actually wanting you like that. Ugh, don't be stupid, he wouldn't. Ever. Stop hoping- uh, dreaming- nope, um, being sick like that. It wasn't as though Bro would ever do something like that, would he. Then again, he made sex puppets. Maybe he would? No, no, don't get your sick little hopes up, he's not a sick douchebag like you are.
"That was pathetic," you could hear no emotion in his voice, but you knew he was disappointed.
"You're pathetic," you retorted maturely. Who could blame you, you had been thoroughly groped and beaten up in every fucking strife, and you just wanted to bandage all the cuts and then sleep for a week.
"No, I'm afraid that you're pathetic. You were on the defensive the whole time. Something on your mind, kid?" he replied calmly. You swallowed a little bit too audibly.
"Nah, nothing, Bro," you lied, a little too quickly. Bro didn't seem convinced.
"Uh huh. You know I can always tell when you're lying," he pointed out. You silently cursed. Fuck the strife, fuck yourself, fuck Bro, fuck Bro harder, no, stop, stop thinking about this now. God damn it, you had been silent for too long, Bro was waiting for an answer.
"That's fantastic, but I don't see how that's relevant right now, seeing as I wasn't lying," you lied again, experimentally shifting your head slightly. You were met with Bro's blade pressing down harder, which forced you to lower your head even more, as though you were grovelling at his feet. Stupid Bro.
"You're lying, lil' man," Bro stated calmly. You huffed slightly and glared at the patch of roof in front of you.
"Whatever, it's none of your business, so piss off," you snapped, accidentally losing your cool a little bit. Well, to be fair, your stupid Bro kept groping you throughout these strifes, and he had gone hard on you (Oh god not in that way, stupid brain stop thinking of that!) this time, not letting you a moment of reprieve.
"Dude. What's wrong? I'm not going to let you up until you tell me," for a second, you thought you could almost hear honest concern in Bro's voice. But you instantly dismissed that, Bro didn't have feelings, and if he did sound concerned, it was because he was trying to mess with you. You hoped. You wouldn't be able to stand it if Bro actually cared about your stupid little gay incestuous problems.
"Then you're going to be here a while," you muttered, glaring even harder at the patch of roof in front of you. For a few seconds there was silence. Then the blade lifted away from your neck.
"Whatever kiddo, if you ever feel like growing a pair of balls and telling me what's wrong, you know where to find me," Bro was disappointed now, and very slightly angry. There wasn't any emotion in his voice but you could tell. You stood up and glared at nothing in particular. Bro watched for a few seconds, but then he flashstepped away, leaving you to make your way downstairs and fix your wounds alone.
Sometimes you hated your life.
~*~THEEND~*~
Only the end of the chapter though. So what do you think? Is it good? PLEASE TELL ME IT'S GOOD D:
Argh I worked hard on this one, I hope it's not TOO terrible.
And thanks for all the reviews; Reviews = happy Xephyr, happy Xephyr = more chapters.
Send my love to the silent hill nurse zombies.
Yes.
- Xephyr
