I bring you the third chapter of Born This Way! For information on my stories and characters (including updates and summaries) can be on my profile. Just look for bold titles to find the information you're looking for. It's all organized by story.

Your POV:

"Space. It's huge. So huge, in fact, that if you lost your car keys in it, they would be almost impossible to find. Luckily for Ratchet and his friend Kairi, Captain Copernicus L. Qwark was on the case. His mission: rescue the Lombax's one and only friend. Yep, without Clank, Ratchet was online in the universe. Alone, alone, alone…except for the little female in the back."

Does he ever shut up! You've been sitting in the back of Ratchet's ship listening to this guy shoot his mouth off for not even an hour and you already want to open the hatch and jump out. How did this guy ever get to be president? Who the hell voted for him!

And Ratchet didn't want to hear that, the hell is wrong with him. You could see Ratchet's face, and you knew Qwark's words got to him. "You know this ship has an ejector seat, right?" Ratchet reminded him.

Obviously he was thinking the same thing you were. If you weren't better than that, you would've asked where the button was.

"Sorry." Qwark apologized. "I guess you can say I've been a little 'antsy in my pantsy' at the thought of getting back into the hero business!" He held up his fists. "Yep, these wild stallions have been in the stable too long." He made several "chopping" noises. You were very tempted to smack him.

"Right." You saw the little eye roll Ratchet gave him. "Look, just keep your eyes peeled. Talwyn says this sector is crawling with mercenaries."

You nodded. "Yeah, and my name is Kiari, not Kairi." Be nice, you thought. You spoke to Talwyn briefly before you left. She seemed nice. You'd prefer her over this a-hole, that's for sure. But Lombaxes must be rare, because she was startled to see you were one, and you didn't see any others in the city.

"Rest easy, my friend." Qwark's personality seems very familiar to you, like you've seen it before. "My vigilance is both eternal and peripheral."

Ratchet's POV:

Looking back at Kiari, she looks like she's in pain. She has to be nice if she's restraining herself from shouting at Qwark. He really doesn't change, and you can already tell it's going to be just so much fun having him on this mission.

Your POV:

Right after Qwark finished his sentence, an alarm went off and the ship's system said, "Warning. Warning. Unidentified anomaly detected." The front of the ship flashed red near the dashboard from the screen that showed skull and crossbones. That can't be good. Behind you, something that looked like blue lightning was dangerously close.

"Hang on," You did what Ratchet said. "Shifting to evasive maneuvers." However, it proved to be futile as the entire ship seemed to be electrified by the anomaly. The thrusters shut off almost immediately and the ship was losing altitude and heading straight for a planet.

While Ratchet tried to get the ship under control with you leaning forward awaiting any command. Qwark wasted no time panicking. "Oh no! We're gonna die! We're gonna die! Good thing I'm wearing clean underwear!"

…You did not need to know that.

"Will you shut up!" Ratchet snapped. "We are not gonna die. Aphelion, engage grav-o-metric stabilizers!"

"Negative. Stabilizers offline. Thrusters offline. Landing flaps offline."

Seeing Ratchet's face turn to one of panic, did not help the situation or your nerves.

"Alright. So, we're gonna die."

You joined them in screaming as the ship plummeted and spiraled into the planet.

You crashed through several trees (and both of the wings had fallen off) and then you flip-flopped until you skidded along the ground until you came to a cliff. "Hang on!" Ratchet shouted.

"Hanging on!"

The ship stops just as soon as it malfunctioned. In fact, everything has stopped. The yellow birds are just…there. They were in midflight, but now everything is motionless. However, it's only certain areas, like the waterfalls are still moving. One side of you is grateful for this, but the other is questioning how this is possible.

"Whoa…" Ratchet said, looking at the scene.

"I know…" You actually thought he was going to say something that actually made sense, but then… "So much for clean underwear." You were not the only one horrified by his words. You did not need to know that, either.

…And the airbags went off, pressing Ratchet and Qwark into their seats and (since there was one on each side) squishing you in the back.

After popping them with a needle on the floor of the (now destroyed) ship (which also seems to be stuck in some kind of anti-gravital force or something), you guys jumped out. "Where the heck are we?" Ratchet asked, more to himself than anyone else.

"Beats me. Perhaps a leisurely stroll through this uncharted jungle will solve the mystery."

You looked at Ratchet. "I don't know anything about this 'hero business', but isn't going through uncharted territory bad?"

"Usually," Ratchet nodded. "But then again, what choice do we have?"

You shrugged, and agreed it was for the best. Anything was better than being stuck in that ship listening to Qwark going on and on.

And then he started again. "Marooned on a hostile alien environment, Captain Qwark realized his rescue mission would pit him against the most terrifying evil of all: nature itself."

On the bright side, the jungle is beautiful. There are plenty of waterfalls and vegetation, and pretty wildlife. However, coming to the bridge, you came across some purple alien-looking things (that Qwark ran away from). But they were easy, and defeating them with just one blow each other proved that Qwark was just a coward who took credit for other people's work. You guessed that "other people's work" meant mostly Ratchet.

Some of the bridge was gone which required jumping, and coming across, you discovered that Qwark was failing to defend himself. "Ah! Ratchet! Kiara! Nature is attacking!"

Smacking away one of the aliens you snapped, "My name is Kiari!" To make matters worse, it had started pouring.

Coming to a waterfall and no way across the water, you saw that Qwark was too big to use the chucks of land that separated the water and jump across.

"Okay, slight problem…I'm not so good with swimming."

"Just wait here," Ratchet said. "We'll find you another way across."

You nodded, following Ratchet and getting to stretch your legs. You're happy to be out of that ship; you can't sit still for that long.

"Oh great," Qwark muttered. "This rain is gonna be murder on my spandex." You rolled your eyes in response.

You stood close by as Ratchet turned the crank on the winch and raised the bridge. "What's the plan, anyway?" Qwark shouted from over the roar of the waterfall.

As Qwark joined you, Ratchet explained, "Well, where there are bridges, there are people. Where there are people, there are ships. You see where I'm going with this?"

"Hey! That's pretty smart. You're going to make a great sidekick!"

Watching Qwark break down a wall that stood in your way, you turned to your friend again. "Yes Ratchet, you're the sidekick. Seriously, how do you deal with this?"

He shrugged. "Eh, you'll get used to him."

Following Qwark, you see another one of those time rift things. "Whoa, guys are you seeing this? Something is seriously wrong with this planet."

"It's like time is all-not working." Qwark said.

Your memory would be really useful right now. If you had seen anything like this before, you would be able to apply past knowledge to a new situation. Only…you didn't know who you were. Today was going to be enjoyable.

"Rumble, you stupid door…" Qwark muttered as he rammed himself against another wall.

"We'll find another way around. You gonna be all right with those things on the loose?" Ratchet asked.

"Please, I can handle a few tiny creatures."

"Right…" You said, following close behind Ratchet. You felt more than a little concerned for his safety.

Looking at the airborne, frozen-in-time rocks, you and Ratchet used them to ascend onto a cliff. Jumping down, you were only standing for a second before Qwark broke through the wall shouting in fear, "Help! Their parents are here!"

Okay, their parents weren't even that much bigger, maybe an inch or so taller.

Taking them out, you think about how sorry you feel for Ratchet. He had his best friend taken away from him, and then he had to deal with this fool who reminded him that without Clank, he was all alone in the universe. You feel…terrible about it, really.

You wonder if how he feels is how your friends feel. You wonder if they're thinking about you, asking themselves where you are, and if you're okay. You suddenly feel guilty for making them worry like that. But you can't just abandon Ratchet. He needs someone useful to help him find his friend, and then you can go find yours.

Having to go across another river, you jump across more stones and but you lift the bridge this time. Qwark kicks down the door, which is actually more of a wall. "This door is ajar!" He said "bravely".

Both you and Ratchet roll your eyes, but only Ratchet remarks, "Oh, brother…"

More purple creatures came at the three of you, but it wasn't long before you were able to take them out. You tried throwing your wrench so to attack from a distance…only to hit Ratchet in the head with it when it bounced off a rock.

"Ow!" Ratchet yelled, rubbing his head.

You winced. "Oops! Sorry Ratchet, are you alright?"

He nodded. "Yeah, I'm okay."

"Sorry." You said again. "It was an accident."

He smiled. "Yeah, it's fine, you're still learning."

Great. Now on top of being stuck with Qwark, his best friend being most likely a million miles away from here, he has to deal with your incompetence with a weapon and the splitting headache you just gave him. You're a wonderful friend. Seriously, why couldn't you have hit Qwark instead!

After heading down the dirt road, a woman native to the land (possibly able to explain what was wrong with the planet's gravity), crying for help. "Oh, help! Help! Please, please help me! My children, they're in danger!"

Trying to look good, Qwark asked, "What seems to be the problem, citizen?"

"Zyphoids!" The woman started to explain. "We were fishing up the river when they attacked!"

"Qwark, stay here." Ratchet ordered. "We'll go save the children."

"You got it, sidekick!" Qwark said confidently (more likely relieved that he would've have to do any fighting). "Smart thinking. I'll just stay here and hold the fort."

Getting away from Qwark, you muttered, "Yes Ratchet, you're so the sidekick."

Ratchet gives you a smile in return and faced. "We'll do this faster if we split up. You take left, I'll go right. Just shout if you need backup."

You nodded in response. "Same to you. And again, I'm sorry about hitting in the head. Maybe I'll just stick to being at a closer distance."

He laughs a bit in response. "It's fine, it was an accident."

You shrug. "Well, I'll see you in a minute."

"Right." He gave you a single nod and you rushed off in different directions.

Chapter three people! Wow, I feel accomplished. Two updates in one day. How awesome am I? Now excuse me, while I go work on the update for "Wonderland".

See you soon!

~Mimi