Thank you again for the reviews! It's so nice to "see" everybody. Especially to those of you who regularly review (not that I don't appreciate everybody, because I *DO*), but it's really nice to see all those familiar names! I really appreciate the warm welcome back.

And yes, I will definitely be exploring An's storyline in this story... but first some of that promised angst... ;-) (don't worry, the boys aren't going to get six kinds of stupid this time around.)


Chapter Three

He seemed to be talking about my fears, my insecurity, and my unwillingness to see what was wonderful because tomorrow it might disappear and I might suffer. The gods throw the dice, and they don't ask whether we want to be in the game or not. They don't care if when you go, you leave behind a lover, a home, a career, or a dream. The gods don't care whether you have it all, whether it seems that your every desire can be met through hard work and persistence. The gods don't want to know about your plans and your hopes. Somewhere they're throwing the dice- and you are chosen. From then on, winning or losing is only a question of luck. The gods throw the dice, freeing love from its cage. And love can create or destroy-depending on the direction of the wind when it is set free.

Paulo Coelho

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Kam couldn't help the nervous flutter in his stomach as he strode through the door of the familiar establishment with his lover. My partner, he sighed, a happy smile played across his lips despite the pang of anxiety deep in his stomach. Jack didn't seem to notice either the smile or how nervous he was. He was too busy scanning the crowd, looking for his friend.

The Welshman's young pilot didn't mind; he was getting used to the way his Captain could get preoccupied with something important and worked hard trying not to let it bother him. He understood how it must have driven Mr Smeed mad when they were together (something he was still having a hard time picturing – they were so different!) But he knew Jack being preoccupied wasn't the same thing as Jack ignoring him. He also knew that if something ever did upset him again, he had to tell Jack.

Anna had been right. Jack couldn't read his mind, and he never, ever wanted them to hurt each other the way they had before, especially not over something that wasn't even really real. His life was too short. Jack's was too long.

As Kam's eyes adjusted to the subdued lighting of the pub, he scanned the room looking for someone sitting by themselves, someone who looked as if they were waiting for Jack, even though he had no idea what sort of person he was looking for exactly. Jack had been less than forthcoming when he'd asked him about Julian Kyle. All he'd said was that he was some old friend.

The young man caught himself chewing on his lower lip. What if Julian Kyle didn't like him? What if he didn't like Julian? What if Julian was more than just some old 'friend', what if he was an old boyfriend...what if he still had feelings for Jack? What if Jack still had feelings for him?

Kam reminded himself that he kept telling Jack it was ok if he wanted be with other people… just come home to me. Please always come home to me, he begged silently. Please really mean it when you say for the rest of my life… He knew he wouldn't survive it if Jack took it all back someday. He knew Anna would tell him that there were other people in the universe, but she didn't understand. Jack was the only person he ever wanted to be with because he was the person he'd always been with. For his whole life Jack had been there and he didn't know what he would do if suddenly he wasn't there any more. But he said he wanted me for the rest of my life, Kam reminded himself.

He glanced up at the older man, but his eyes were still focused on the room, searching, as a frown tugged at the corners of his mouth.

That time of day – mid afternoon, according to the big clock in the main arcade – most places were nearly empty, and Bessie's was no exception. There were only a few tables with customers sitting at them, but they were all groups of two and three and four men and women... except for the lone alien that sat at a quite corner table all by itself, reading a book. Kam was pretty sure Jack's friend wasn't an alien.

"Maybe he stood you up?" he suggested at last. He almost hoped it was true.

Jack shook his head; he flipped open his wrist strap and hit a couple of the small buttons. He turned slowly, scanning the room again, this time with his gaze fixed on the wrist strap. He smirked and began making his way purposefully towards an empty table half hidden in the shadows in a back corner. Perplexed, Kam followed … suddenly he realized that the table wasn't empty at all.

The man sitting there, lazily sprawled into one of only two chairs at the small table, appeared to be in his forties. He flashed a saucy half-grin up at Jack when it became apparent the older man had finally spotted him.

He had shoulder length brown hair – there were just a few greys evident – and a not-so-neatly trimmed beard. He wasn't wearing typical spacers' garb, but he hardly looked as if he lived on Omega, either. Omega was filled with working class people and this man wasn't that. Kam's stomach flipped and flopped as he took the man in… he felt as if the floor were becoming thin and slippery beneath his feet.

He had worn similar clothing when he had Served. The memory was far from pleasant.

The man's laced up the front, but the laces were done loosely, exposing several inches of bare tanned chest and two thick gold necklaces. They were as clear an indication that he had wealth as the rings on his fingers and the black leather coat hanging off the back of his chair. He wasn't one who sold his own body so much as one who bought and traded the Services of others… and he was clearly advertising his sexual availability in both is posture and his attire.

He rose smoothly to his feet and extended his hand to Jack as if he hadn't even noticed the younger, smaller man who was coming up on his heels.

Why should he notice me? Kam wondered miserably. He was nothing by comparison Jack… nothing compared to his friend. This man, this Julian Kyle, was older than he by at least twenty years. He was wiser, he had to be. He was sure of himself, Kam could see it in the way he carried himself. He's closer to being Jack's equal than I'll ever be.

"Took you long enough to spot me, Old Man," Kyle said by way of greeting, a Cheshire grin playing across his handsome face. "You're getting sloppy in your old age."

"You wish!" scoffed Jack. He pulled the younger man into the kind of familiar embrace that caused Kam's already sinking heart to reach the soles of his feet…