Mary Sue!

Hey, guess what? I'm getting up at 5 A.M. tomorrow. Endless joy in a bucket! Not. Eh, I hope the regatta's fun. It probably will be.

Disclaimer: Don't own. Don't sue. Thank you.

"K'tanya Ravenwing!" Galbatorix gasped. "Weren't you being tortured for any apparent reason?"

The girl tossed her blond hair and her deep emerald eyes flashed menacingly. Her turned-up nose looked even more turned-up. She looked as intimidating as someone who was about ninety pounds tops.

Murtagh looked genuinely scared. This girl had been hitting on him not-stop since Galbatorix had captured her from Ellesméra. She also had quite a sob-story attached to her. Apparently, she was a half-elf. No one in Ellesméra had accepted her, and they hadn't really cared when she was captured by Galbatorix. Galbatorix had been unable to break through her unrealistically strong mental-barriers. Needless to say, K'tanya Ravenwing wasn't his favorite person.

"I got away from your incompetent, perverted guards and made my way to the egg chamber. I found that it was not there so I made my way to the throne room. When I got here, I saw this terrible abomination happen. I intend to right this wrong in any way possible," the Mary Sue yelled, her voice vibrating throughout the room.

Ally and Amy were busy listening to Ridin' Dirty on one of their i-pods. They were singing horribly off key because they could.

K'tanya Ravenwing finished her overly dramatic speech and realized that Ally and Amy weren't paying attention.

"Hey! I was giving a very important speech," she shrieked, somehow still sounding perfect.

"What?" they both yelled over the roar of the music coming from the i-pod.

"Well, I don't see why I should talk to you two anyway. You're just two irresponsible adolescents. You broke a sacred object, and I am simply going to rectify your mistake. You're really very lucky I'm here," K'tanya replied after a minute of thought. (It probably hurt her brain to come up with such words.)

"We still can't here you," Ally and Amy shouted. They then proceeded to ignore her some more.

K'tanya stuck up her nose and walked over to Murtagh. The latter pretended to be very absorbed in What to Do When Elf Girls In Madeline Outfits with Illegal Socks Pop Up.

Galbatorix was more concerned with Ally and Amy than K'tanya at the time.

He snapped his fingers, and the ear phones of the i-pod came out of Ally and Amy's ears.

"Damn, that was my favorite part," Ally moaned.

Galbatorix grabbed Amy, who was closest to him, and put his hand on her head. He began to read her mind. Unfortunately, Amy had already put up her defenses. They were the lyrics to Buttons. Galbatorix looked horrified by the lyrics. He pushed her away and went to Ally. He didn't think there was anyway her mind could be worse than Amy's. Ah, how wrong he was. Ally's defenses were the lyrics to Moneymaker.

By the end of this mind-reading sequence, Galby was curled up in a ball repeating the phrase, "Too scary. Too scary. Too scary."

K'tanya Ravenwing looked angry. Her Arya-mimicry eyes flashed. "How can you justify listening to such obscene music? It's degrading and tasteless. Besides, you two can't sing a note," she complained.

Amy and Ally looked at her. They began to chant, "Mary Sue! Mary Sue! Mary Sue! Mary Sue!"

"That's not my name!" she shrieked.

"Mary Sue! Mary Sue! Mary Sue! Mary Sue!"

K'tanya Ravenwing was looking angrier by the minute. This was perhaps the first time Murtagh had been made even remotely happy by anything Amy and Ally did. He was enjoying K'tanya's pain. Hey, being Galby's mind tool makes you sadistic.

Shruikan stared at the sight before him. His "rider" was looking crazier than usual. Murtagh and Thorn looked near laughter. K'tanya Ravenwing looked ready to explode with anger. Ally and Amy had started singing Bad Day. How appropriate was that? The green dragon had an expression of disgust on his face. Things were getting chaotic.

At last, the green dragon found it reasonable to butt in. He shouted, Hey!

Everyone, even K'tanya, stopped to listen.

"Don't worry, dear dragon. I'll get you away from these people. I'll be you rider," K'tanya "comforted."

The green dragon gave her a look before continuing. I shall stay with those two girls until I find someone I wish to be my rider.

K'tanya opened her mouth.

Not you, the green dragon cut her off.

The Mary Sue pouted. Somehow, she still looked perfect while doing this. Actually, she looked even more perfect. Perfect is suddenly starting to sound like an insult. Hey, look at what they did to the last guy who was truly perfect. (Crucifixion- not a good way to go) Of course, K'tanya's fake-perfect and not real. We don't have to feel bad about being mean to her. God, we're awful.

"So, should we pick a name?" Amy asked Ally.

"What should we name it?" Ally thought aloud after a moment.

My name is Ohen, the dragon replied.

"That narrows it down," Amy remarked. Ally nodded enthusiastically. Galbatorix regained his power of speech.

"You two will now swear an oath to me," he commanded.

Both girls rolled their eyes.

"No. F---in. Way." Ally answered.

"Don't say that word!" Amy corrected.

"Sorry," Ally said meekly. "I didn't think you'd come up with an alternative to that word though."

"I'll think of something," Amy replied.

Galbatorix cleared his throat.

Both girls turned to pay attention to him.

"Take them to the dungeons, Murtagh!" Galbatorix yelled.

"What about me?" K'tanya whined.

"Take her with them if you must," Galbatorix conceded.

Murtagh looked like he had been asked to eat toenails. Ally and Amy had similar expressions. K'tanya looked livid.

"She better not give another speech," Ally muttered to Amy. Alas, she did.

"I will not reside in the same prison as those two irresponsible, less than perfect, normal girls," K'tanya stated.

"Uh, I wouldn't call us normal," Amy put in.

K'tanya flipped her perfect hair and turned up her upturned nose.

"I meant there is nothing extraordinary about you aside from random behavior and nerve. And I don't think I said you could speak." she told Amy.

"Mary Sue! Hypocrite! Mary Sue! Hypocrite! Mary Sue! Hypocrite!" Ally and Amy chanted as they were dragged away to the dungeons. K'tanya was shouting that that wasn't her name. It didn't make any difference.

Did you like this chapter? I hope you did. K'tanya's name came from Maggie's Mary Sue Generator. Here are the review responses.

DragonLoverEragonLover: That, my dear reader, will be quite amazing. I didn't know what a Mary Sue was until I started reading Eragon, so don't worry. It's an über-perfect, unrealistic, and/or cliché character. Gary Stue is the male version.

Hottie: That would be funny, but it would be stooping to her level.

Meh: Yeah, I am. I lost the game. I'll tell you what it is if everybody promises to play for the rest of their lives.

Ebz: I like your reviews. Teachers can be scary. There's this one lady who used to teach and now subs who always smiles, even when she's mad. That's frightening. What movie is she in with Garrett Hedlund? That's who's playing Murtagh, right? I'll tell you about the game if everyone promises to play for the rest of their lives. Keep in mind that my very strange World Cultures teacher taught my entire class to play.

Azulcat: Thanks. I used the looks and personality for K'tanya. At least to a certain extent.

Xo-MidnightSun-ox: Ha ha. I'm glad I converted you. It is an awesome song. Thanks.

Dreamgirlhoo: I've read those two fics. They're awesome and on my favorites list. Thanks for the suggestions. They helped.