Yo, I'm back! I hope you like this new chapter, it's slightly creepy, but you get to see more of Kira! ^_^

Disclaimer: I still don't own Death Note! *Cries*

On with the story!


Chapter 3: Decisions

Days went by as usual, well as usual as things could get. I didn't sleep, didn't eat, and simply wanted to wither away. Kira was getting weaker and weaker, I could feel it in my bones. He stopped laughing; I couldn't hear it echo in my head much anymore. Though under all of it, I could still feel him there, his desire to kill L, my desire. No, it wasn't mine, not anymore. The nightmares continued, shadowing me in a strange sense of fear. I was afraid, afraid to die; afraid to be killed like the criminal I knew Kira was. Though, I wasn't Kira, was I?

L glanced over at me from his laptop, watching my every move. Ever since our trip to the grocery store two weeks ago, it seems that's all he does anymore, and personally, it freaks me out. It's almost as if he can see through my mask, my guard, my clothes. It's as if he knows who I am, knows I'm struggling, and it terrifies me. He's there, in my nightmares, watching me with the cold emotionless eyes. I would scream, terrified, waking up to the dark room that I 'slept' in every night. Like I could ever sleep. Recently, it felt as if pain was my only friend, the only one that would believe me when I said I wasn't who everyone thought I was, I wasn't a killer. Kira would laugh. He would mock me as I stared into his eyes when I looked into the mirror in the morning. He would taunt me when I got dressed and my scars were exposed, but most of all, that horrible laughter was most common when I was sitting beside L.

I stood in the small kitchen, ignoring L's sweets as I sipped my coffee casually, L standing beside me. "Light, you never eat anymore." I glanced at him from the corner of my eyes, sighing. "Of course I do, Ryuzaki." I mumbled, and he lifted up a strawberry with his pale long fingers. "Eat it, Light." He said, as if challenging me. Falling for this stupid game, I grabbed the strawberry, chewing it slowly. There was some sort of drug in it, there had to be, and soon enough I found it, a sleeping pill. Very clever Ryuzaki, but not clever enough. "See, I ate it." The sleeping pill was under my tongue, hidden by prying eyes that wanted to make sure I had swallowed it.

"Did you Light-Kun?" He asked, and I nodded, turning my back to him as I coughed into my hand, the pill landing in between my fingers. "I eat all the time." I muttered, watching him as his eyes analyzed me, looking me up and down, and I covered my thin frame with my arms. "Seriously, I wish you wouldn't harass me." L's eyes immediately darted up to my face. "You're dying, Light." He said simply, without a hint of doubt in his voice. "That isn't nice to tell someone, L." I said the letter with malice, glaring at him. I couldn't take this, not today. "Interesting." I heard Ryuk laughing behind me, driving my madness.

"Stop it…" My voice echoed in my ears, and L looked up at me. "What?" He said, surprised my response. "Nothing." Walking out of the kitchen, I headed down the hall to my sanctuary, to the only place that felt half safe to me anymore. I was never safe; I knew that, no one could ever hide from themselves. Slamming the door, I sat at the edge of the bed, holding my head in my hands. My tears burned like flames as they ran down my hands, my arms. I laughed as I cried, Kira pushing its way through, smiling at my weakness. "You're going to die." I heard the girl say again, and my body started to shake. "You're dying, Light." I heard L say in harmony, and I shook my head, denying it. I wasn't going to die, Kira was going to die, he was finally going to leave me alone.

I fell back, and my hands met the notebook that I hadn't touched in weeks. It burned, my hands catching fire, and I screamed, rolling onto my side. No matter how much it burned, Kira wouldn't let me put it down, he wouldn't let me throw it on the ground like I so desperately wanted. "You're so weak." I heard my own voice say, betraying me, sending me to the depths of my insanity. I laughed wildly, howling in laughter as I opened the Death Note, pencil in hand. I began to write down the names I had seen that day, giggling like a child as I did so, my eyes flashing with tears as I strained against myself. "Don't cry." Kira whispered in my head, "You know what you're doing is right." I shook my head, "Stop…" Images flashed through my head, and I continued writing, trapped in my own mind.

Pushing the thoughts out of my head, I brought the pencil up to my arm, scratching down the side of my wrist, crying out in pain. I needed to stop myself; I couldn't write anymore, I just couldn't. Blood ran down my wrist, staining the pages of the Death Note with that intoxicating red liquid. No, I had just made the monster all the more excited. Standing up, I rushed towards the bathroom, allowing my hand to drip the crimson gold into the white sink. I reached my hands up, tangling them in my hair, clutching my head, scrapping it with my nails. 'Get out of my head!' I yelled at myself mentally, silent screams rushing out of my mouth as I hit my head against the wall. There was no noise other than the constant thumping and small sobs that wracked my body.

It was sickening, the noise of blood dripping onto the ground, those images flowing through my brain. The girl was there again, as I sat against the wall, crimson tears flowing down my cheeks. "You're horrible, Light-kun. You killed so many people, you're going to die." I screamed, burying my face in my arms. The sound proof walls seemed as thin as glass to me, and I didn't want to make more noise than necessary. Suddenly, I felt sleep overcome me as I sat there, bloody, screaming, writhing on the floor. Sleep, why did it seem so far away?

"Damn it…L…" I muttered. There was another pill in the strawberry than the one I had found. I knew it. My crimson eyes slipped shut, my body shutting down, as I lay limp on the alabaster floor. Dreams, there were none, just the terrifying darkness, and the sound of dripping blood consuming me. I felt strong arms wrap around me, pulling me somewhere, speaking in a low-pitched voice, a voice that only served to drive me more insane. Blood, it was in my mouth, in my hair, my eyes. It was everywhere, the scent driving me crazy. Insane laughter echoed in my lungs, spreading through my vocal cords and out my mouth as the arms continued to pull me along. "I get to die, I finally get to die." I could feel it, in the deepest part of my heart that this person was smiling. "As you wish, Light-kun."

That was the last thing I heard before my eyes opened to the white ceiling of the bathroom, blood still around me, cold tears sticking to my face mixed with the sweat. It had all been a dream, L didn't know, and hopefully he never would.


Well there ya go! I hope you like it! ^_^ L and his sleeping pills! Shame on L! XD Anyways, please review so that I know what you think, and any critisism if necessary!