Hey guys!

This is the final chapter of the first part, so hope you all enjoy it!

See you all on next Wednesday!


The Memories of Yesterday

Part 3


He was still sobbing softly when a knock echoed through the room, soon after he heard door knob was turning to the side, letting the person outside enter his room; his footsteps almost bringing a little comfort to his broken mind.

Almost

In a hurry, he rushed to clean the leftovers tears on his face and hoped silently that his eyes wouldn't be red, but the little mayonnaise bottle remained in his hands, that little thing wasn't going to leave his side at all.

That was the only thing that made him feel at ease, as weird as that was.

"Toshi?" The cheerful voice quickly came to his ears, and a deep breath left his lips. He had the time to rub his eyes one last time before the familiar face peeked through the corner of the curtain. "Oh! You're awake!" Kondo smiled brightly and he simply nodded.

"Hello, Kondo-san." He greeted as proper as always. But he didn't smile, nor did the glad feeling he always had when seeing the man overjoyed his heart, instead, his gaze shifted to Kondo's hands and the books he was holding.

And just as if Kondo noticed what he was seeing, he lifted the books a little and smiled even more. "I brought you some surprises today Toshi." He cheered and carefully sat on the chair that was next to his bed.

"Kondo-san…" He spoke softly, his hand holding tight on the little bottle. Where should he start asking questions? Should he thank him for bringing that little bottle first?

"What do you have there?" The man asked, his head leaning to the side. "Oh, a bottle of mayonnaise?" He chuckled. "Did the nurses gave it to you? I should have brought you some too now that I think about it…"

His words were almost as if a cold bucket of water was just thrown over his head. He was certain that Kondo was the one bringing him that, but if it wasn't him… Who? He hasn't gotten any visits apart from Kondo and Otae—or who he thought was her. If it wasn't them, who else?

But even with his mind going on a rampage, he still swallowed that question, and put it in the back of his mind. He knew he wouldn't be able to find an answer to that question, and that the possibility of it being just the nurses was quite high, so for now… He wasn't going to think of it.

"What do you have there, Kondo-san?" He finally asked and a bigger smile appeared on Kondo's face.

"I have two surprises for you Toshi!" He laughed, raising his curiosity even more. "Want to hear the first one?" He nodded. "I just met the doctor when I was coming here and can you imagine what he told me?" Without waiting for an answer the man quickly added: "He said that you're going to be able to leave tomorrow! Isn't that great!"

But if he had to be honest, he didn't feel great at all.

There was not even a tiny bit of happiness in his whole body. Him leaving the hospital? Just what he was going to do outside? Just where he was going to live?

"Don't worry Toshi!" He added almost as if he could notice the uncertainty in his face. "I'll take you to your apartment! I'll show you around too!" My apartment…? So he didn't live with Kondo and Sougo anymore? That was it?

He had a place of his own…

Such a scary thing to know.

"But first," he put the books over his bed, and he noticed that instead of normal books, they're photo albums. "I brought you a lot of pics! So if you see one of us, you won't be shocked by how much we changed." He chuckled, but a chill went through his body. How much they changed…?

But as usual, his question remained unasked, and the silence filled the room, with him staring at the albums unsure of what to do and with Kondo staring at him, full of smiles like normal.

Just how much did Sougo and the others change? Did he really want to know the answer to that question? He wasn't even sure of how much he has changed!

But after some minutes his hand finally moved to grab the first album of the pile and Kondo nodded happily to himself. Maybe it was that his smiles were making him feel more at ease, or that he needed those answers, but either way, he carefully opened it and the first picture froze him.

A woman clad in a white kimono, at her side a tall man with a black haori, on the background the Shinto temple he remembered visiting as a child.

A wedding…

More exactly Kondo's weeding.

He was certain now, the woman that came to visit him, and the woman that was smiling next to Kondo in the picture… It was Shimura Tae. So he managed to marry her, huh? He thought to himself before chuckling softly, but a bittersweet feeling was growing inside.

If Kondo was now happily married to that woman… Just what others crazy thing would have happened in those five years?

"We got married the last summer," Kondo explained, a proud smile on his face. "It was a really big party, you know? We all had lots of fun! It's…" But he bit his lips and remain quiet.

Is it a shame I can't remember?

He took a deep breath a turn the page, now there was a big picture of the bride and some girls—all clad in colorful kimonos—he quickly recognized the Yagyuu heir next to the bride, and the woman with purple hair—he couldn't remember her name, but it wasn't because of his lost memories—and finally he saw the girl that was hugging the bride.

And he couldn't believe his eyes.

Long red hair, big blue eyes and an annoying smile he could recognize everywhere. The Yorozuya kid…? Wasn't she just a brat five years ago? Even if the same annoying smile remained, just where did the bratty version of her go to!?

"Little China-san has become quite the beauty, huh?" Kondo smiled even more and took the initiative to change the page. Now there was a closer picture of the two girls, big smiles on their faces, "But don't let her appearance fool you Toshi, she is still quite the same brat as before." He laughed and he nodded.

He kept on passing the pages, there were some that were completely empty, while some were just sceneries of the temple and the mountain near—it was quite comforting to see that the temple didn't change at all. He changed the pages again and again until his eyes finally caught sight of the picture he was looking for.

Like the picture Otae had with the other women, Kondo had one too. His eyes were quick to lock into his own picture, focusing on his face more than anything else.

He found himself not having change that much—it was a relieve—he was wearing some black clothes that he would always choose, maybe a little taller, and with a weird hairstyle, but it wasn't that big of a change.

What did freaked him out was that he was smiling, in a way that he didn't even know it was possible for him to smile like. From what he could see that last summer he was truly happy.

But why…?

"You start wearing your hair like that, some years ago," Kondo explained. "I'm not sure why though, you only told me that someone told you that you look cool like that." He chuckled.

But he only looked at him a little weird out.

He changed his hairstyle because someone told him to? He couldn't really believe it, but since he was there smiling so happily… Everything could be possible, right?

He nodded once again—not before reminding himself to try that hairstyle later—and his eyes shift back to the other man next to Kondo. This time it was Sougo.

Long hair, Sougo? Really? He smiled without noticing. Just how many times did Sougo make fun of his long hair while he was younger? And now there he was, with an even longer hair that his.

"Didn't he grow up to be a fine boy?" Kondo added, his voice full of warmth and pride.

He remained silent, but he still changed the pages, again and again, not paying attention to the empty pages that were starting to become more common, or the little details in the back of the photos that otherwise would have changed a lot of things.

After some more pages, he finally got to one in where they were all in, Kondo and Otae in the middle of the picture, the rest of them at their sides, all with happy smiles.

But that wasn't what he was seeing.

As soon as he saw that picture his eyes got attracted almost immediately by a silver perm that hasn't been in any of the other pictures.

Gintoki was the same as always, bored eyes that always seemed to be looking at something far away from there, a sly smile that was surely hiding something. And even if he seemed to be taller than before, he was still the same.

The only weird part in all that was his position in the picture.

He was behind him, Gintoki's head resting on his shoulder, and his hands—that he almost failed to notice—were wrapped around his waist, hugging him from behind. But the strangest of all was that he didn't seem to be disgusted by it, nor that he was trying to push him away; instead, he was there smiling like before.

Just what…

Why wasn't he pushing Gintoki away?!

"Oh, that!" Kondo quickly added, "you both were quite drunk at the moment, y-you see?! And the Yoro-Yorozuya boss, he was qui-quite clingy with eve-everyone at the moment!" He laughed awkwardly and his hand went to touch his hair.

But this time, he failed to notice that awkwardness, the bad lie that Kondo just told him.

"It's that so?" He brushed it away and kept on change the pages, with Kondo doing some explanations here and there, and with him only nodding from time to time.

They spent the whole afternoon looking at old albums.


He came back after three days, his mind cursing himself at every step he gave, hating every single bit of himself as he entered the hospital once again, mumbling curses as he got to the receptionist.

"What can I help you with sir?" The nursed smile.

"I'm visiting Hijikata Toushiro-san." The words left quickly and easily his mouth, how much he has been waiting to say them again.

"Of course!" She answered cheerfully and went to look at her computer. It was all routine and he was getting anxious. He just wanted to do a quick visit! Quick enough before anyone else would notice him there! "Excuse me… You're the one that brought Hijikata-san here after the accident, right?" She asked, there was now concern in her voice.

"Yes, I'm a close friend of him." They were closer than that, or at least they were, but the nurse didn't need that kind of details. But the concern in her voice and eyes make him think that that wasn't just because of a routine. "Is something wrong?!" He asked, his voice louder than what he should have, his hands banging on the counter.

Did something really happened?!

"N-no, n-no, it's nothing serious!" She quickly added. "It's just that Hijikata-san was discharged yesterday…"

"He… He was…" He blinked once, he blinked twice. A sad smile now on his face. "I'm sorry for startling you." He added, his hand finally going away from the counter. "I'll take my leave."

He didn't hear the calls of the nurse, nor did he thought of anything as he left the hospital. His feet walking without knowing where, his ears weren't hearing, his eyes weren't seeing.

So he is fine now…

He sighed and waited for the signal light to change.

'Do you regret it?' The words Hijikata told him that day have been haunting him, repeating in his mind again and again.

"Yes…"

Not a lover to embrace or be embraced by, not a home to go back, not a place to belong… Just what he was going to do now?

Maybe it was time to give up?