Disclaimer: I do not own skins or any of the characters.

A Loving Feeling – Chapter 3

Naomi

After standing around for a few minutes I finally came to my senses and looked around. I had missed Emily disappearing apparently. I couldn't understand what exactly had just happened. One second I was just being hugged and the next the softest pair of lips I could ever have imagined were pressed up against mine. Now I have never been attracted to another women and I doubt I would be but I would be lying to myself if I said that wasn't the best feeling I had ever felt.

Eventually I got round to moving the moped to the back of the flat again. When I got upstairs I hesitated outside of Emilys room wondering if I should enter and try to talk to her about what had just transpired between us. It was something I really felt the need to discuss as the feelings it had set off inside were like none I had ever felt before. I placed my hand on the door handle before changing my mind. Emily obviously wasn't in the mood to discuss things with me tonight. That must be the reason she had left as soon as it had happened anyway.

I entered my room and sat on the end of the bed with my head in my hands. Emily and I had only ever been friends. That was the relationship we were comfortable with. The one everyone else was use, surely if I had any other feelings for her they would have become more obvious earlier on in our friendship. They wouldn't just come to light because of a quick kiss. The more I think about it though, the lest conventional our friendship seems. I mean, we spend more time with each other then with anyone else. Even when I was with my last boyfriend I spent all my time with Emily. I think the only time I was alone with him was when Emily went away that one weekend with Katie. We always held hands when we walked. Actually if we weren't holding hands mine always felt cold as if something was missing. Some of my favourite things in the world were things that Emily did. Emilys laugh, her smile, her voice. Even the way she would constantly complain at me for getting crumbs on the couch when I ate a packet of garibaldi biscuits. I might as well face it. My favourite thing in the world was just Emily.

Eventually I managed to fall into a fitful sleep. I hate those nights when my head is so full all I do is toss and turn all night. By the time the sun was coming up I must have only had a couple of hours of proper sleep. I rolled out of bed and headed downstairs, after having spent 5 minutes putting some breakfast together and obviously making a couple of cups of tea I headed upstairs ready to take the plunge and talk to Emily. I did that weird thing people do where they try and knock on the door with their foot because there hands are full but in reality it just looks like your trying to kick a door down. I didn't get any reply so I placed the breakfast tray on the floor and let myself into Emilys room. Her bed was empty so sat on the bed and picked at the fruit salad I had made whilst I waited for her to come back.

After 10 minutes of so the door opened again and in walked Emily. She stopped in her tracks when she noticed me sat on the end of her bed staring at her but I couldn't help looking. She had just got out the shower and the towel she had wrapped herself in came rest just on her thighs. I watched as droplets of water fell from her hair to the top of the towel. When I looked into her eyes I made the fatal mistake of trying to say something to her. I took a very audible gulp and winced as a whole grape was swallowed at the same it. The choking sound that then came out of my moth is not exactly what I had been planning on. As soon as she saw me struggling though Emily ran and sat next to me on the bed, patting me on the back and then slowly rubbing in small circles along the top of my spine. When I had stopped coughing I wiped the tears from my eyes and turned my head to Emily.

I knew I was in trouble from that moment on. The look of worry in her eyes made me need to comfort her in some way. I immediately grabbed her and pulled into hug. The fact that she was dripping water onto my clothes didn't faze me at all. I could think of nothing but reassuring her that I was ok. My heart was beating a mile a minute a soon as she was in my arms. I breathed in and got the smell of strawberries, vanilla and something uniquely Emily. Any feelings that had previously been repressed all of a sudden jumped to the surface and I knew at that second that I was madly in love with my best friend. Everything I had done when I met her was because I cared for her more then anyone else in the world. The reason I had never encouraged her to get a girlfriend and never felt bothered when I couldn't make things work with my boyfriends was because I had secretly been in love with her for years. I had denied my feelings to the point that I didn't even realise they were there. Never in my life had I felt like such an idiot. I had wasted so many years. Years that I could have spent together with Emily proving my love for her. I pulled out of the hug and looked at her. My hand automatically moved up to brush a strand of hair out the way that had fallen in her face.

"Emily, I."

"Lets just pretend it didn't happen."

"What?" Please tell me she did not just say what I think she did. After I finally realise my feelings she was just going to walk away and act like nothing had happened between us. She was the one that had initiated all this in the first place.

"Look Naomi, I know your not gay, and I am so sorry for last night. I guess I just got so caught in the moment I let my feelings for you take over for a second. I was just so happy and you were there and I know it's awkward but it's something that I have wanted for so long that it just sort of slipped out."

I am so confused right now. Does she want to be with me or does she want us to forget about it. Not that I could. Maybe I'm reading this all wrong. Maybe she doesn't actually like me in that way. But then why would she be saying all this stuff. Oh god she's still talking. Wait, I should probably be listening to this.

"And if you want me to move out I will totally understand. I know that things might be a bit weird for you now you know about how I feel. You know what I'll just pack now. I can stay with Katie for a bit whilst I find a place."

Hang on. Move out?. Whose moving out?. I reran the conversation through my head (or what I had heard of it) and realised exactly what Emily was talking about. As she was getting up of the bed I reached out to grab her wrist and pull her back to a sitting position on the bed. I didn't look at her as I finally allowed myself to speak.

"Emily. I know that last night was an accident and I would totally understand if you didn't want to be with but the thing is that I kinda do want to be with you. I never realised the feelings I had for you. I have gone around for years thinking our friendship was normal but we might as well face that it's not. Were way to close even just as best friends. The best part of my day is when I leave my room in a morning and get to see your beautiful smile. What happened last night, it just helped me to realise my feelings for you and if your up for it, I would really like to take you out for dinner. Not as friends but just us, on a date, seeing if this could work."

I didn't realise that I had been playing with lose thread on the bottom hem of her towel until she placed her hand on mine to stop me and I felt my own hand press onto her thigh. I continued to stare at where my hand was laid until I felt her life my chin up to look at her. She just gave me one of those small smiles I loved before leaning forward and placing her lips lightly on mine again. This time I was aware enough to respond which is always a bonus when kissing someone. It wasn't a frantic or passionate kiss. It was slow and loving. It was perfect and I knew that I would always class this as our first kiss. When she pulled away I kept my eyes closed for a few seconds. Committing to memory this moment and the exact feelings I had. When I opened my eyes Emily was no longer in front of me but had wandered over her wardrobe and was currently picking out an outfit for the day. I reached over for my cup of tea and took a sip of it before turning back to Emily.

"So, just to check. Was that a yes?"

She chuckled to herself, picked up her towel from the floor and chucked it at me before simple stating "yes" and turning back to the job at hand. I didn't really hear her answer as I was slightly detracted. But then who wouldn't be by a topless Emily standing before them.