Apparently I can't spell. Thanks to Twi-ction and MartiniBaby1 :) Please review this!

Oh, and I've forgotten to say, But I don't own twilight or it's characters. Just this plot.

Bella's POV

The darkness was worse this time. She didn't even have time to try to run before it swirled around her, closing her inside it's shadowy embrace. It clung to her, wrapped itself around her legs , body and throat and squeezed. She struggled, trying to rid herself of the evil force as it choked the life out of her. Her muscles bulged and strained, pulling and twisting. Jaws that could snap bones like twigs bit at the shadow, tried to pull it from her. But it was all in vain. The darkness was too strong and the lack of air was making her dizzy. Her futile attempts to free herself grew weaker, until at last she gave in to the red cloud that filled her vision and consumed her. The shadow coiled around her, squeezing hard and then vanished like smoke. But she wasn't there.

Why always this same nightmare? Bella wondered as she sat up in her bed, body drenched in a cold sweat. She was gasping for air, as though she really had been choked. Her throat felt swollen, and it was a few minutes before her breathing could return to normal. Shivering, she got up and crossed her room to stand at her window, gazing out at the quiet little neighborhood, and at the trees beyond that. The wind made the trees sway gently, looking like dancing giants in the moonlight. Bella watched the forest, seeing with eyes much to keen for a human to possess. She saw all that went on in those woods. She saw the rabbit peek it's head out from its burrow. She saw the owl skim silently over the treetops in search of prey. She could even see the grass twitch ever so slightly as a mouse scurried away from the predator hovering over its head.

The woods appealed strongly to Bella on nights like this. A feeling stirred deep within her, starting in her chest and spreading throughout her body until her limbs ached and her eyes burned with the desire to release the power building within her and take off into the forest. Though she couldn't see her eyes, Bella knew that her normally brown eyes were now a bright yellow, glowing and piercing and hungry.

The eyes of a monster.

She made herself turn away from the window, forcing the wildness from her eyes and back into the depths of her soul. The aching did not disappear, but the pain and need was lessened enough that she could think straight. She was so tired. She needed sleep more than anything. But the monster demanded release, and it was difficult to deny it. Anyone watching Bella would have been oblivious to the internal battle raging within her, but a close observer might have seen the way her body shook, her mind struggling to overcome the beast that attempted to claw its way out. Minutes passed, until at last the shaking stopped and Bella breathed a sigh of relief. She had won this battle, though she could not win the war. She crawled back into bed, thinking that she'd rather face the imaginary nightmare than the real one.

Morning came much, much too soon. The sun had yet to make an appearance, but the rain was there in full force. It was much stronger than yesterday, beating against the window like an intruder demanding entry. Bella rolled over, wishing she could just give up on school. She didn't belong there, with the normal people. She didn't belong anywhere, except for maybe the forest. But Charlie was adamant on this point. It was the one thing, he said, that was easy to understand and deal with. He wanted her to live as normal a life as possible. Bella had long ago given up on anything "normal". But she did it for her father, after all, he had given up so much for her…

She finally got up and got dressed, not caring what she put on her body. She was on autopilot, going through her morning tasks in a state of drowsiness. Breakfast was a bowl of cereal with far too much milk, but she never noticed. She was out the door in less than fifteen minutes, and her truck crawled into the student lot not ten minutes after that. Again, she pushed through the halls and tried her best to keep from snapping at anyone of the insolent students who seemed to purposefully stand in her way. If they knew what I really was, Bella thought, they'd be scrambling to get out of my way.

She smirked at the thought, turning the corner a little too quickly and almost smacking into Mike Newton. After skidding to a halt, she instantly wished she had run into him, hit him so hard, she'd knocked him flat on his back. Again, she smiled at the dark thought.

Mike must have taken it in another way, though. He smiled back at her, puffing out his chest and adopting a cocky tone of voice. "Oh, Bella. Nice running into you" He laughed at his own stupid joke. God, Bella loathed him.

"Yeah, hey Mike. Gotta go." Bella said, hoping he'd take the hint. Surprise surprise, he didn't. He fell into stride along side her, talking her ear off about something uninteresting about a basketball game. Bella struggled to remain calm. She said nothing in return, wishing he would go away. But he followed her all the way to class, and looked as if he wanted her to stand outside and talk to him. Fat chance, Bella sneered silently. She pushed past him and made her way to her seat, plopping her books down and falling into her chair. Maybe today she could get away with a nap in this class…

Suddenly, she was aware of someone's gaze upon her. She looked up and was surprised to see Edward staring at her. She held his gaze for a few seconds, then looked away, afraid that she would repeat yesterday's mistake. She had seen him look at her, and had felt such a surge of emotion that she had nearly let the monster escape. Her eyes had burned and turned yellow, and from Edward's shocked expression, he had noticed. She had forced the monster back, tightening her grip around it's prison. She had scared herself to death, and she had trembled slightly for the rest of the day.

She would not hurt Edward. Ever. She would stay away from him, put the thoughts of him that so enamored her far, far from her head. She would be strong and she would-

"Bella? May I sit next to you?"

Fuck. Fuck fuck…. Please go away, please. I can't look at you, Edward. Please leave me alone. Don't make me-

"Sure."

What?? What the hell did you say? Bella you stupid, stupid….How could you? What were you thinking? WERE you thinking?? You can't do this, tell him to leave you alone. Tell him….

Bella's thoughts continued to scream inside her head as Edward took the empty desk next to her. She tried to keep her face neutral, tried to look as though she really didn't care that he was next to her.

But she did care. Oh, did she care.

"Um, Hi." Edward said awkwardly. He seemed to notice her pained expression, and he shuffled his hands nervously. Not trusting herself to speak for fear a scream would come out, Bella jerked her head in greeting.

"I'm Edward Cullen," Edward said. As if there was anyone in the school who didn't know him. Or the town, for that matter. "I've…sort of been wanting to talk to you since you moved here. But…I sorta guessed that you didn't want to be bothered."

That obvious? Bella wondered dryly. She had to say SOMETHING to him, or he'd think she was a freak. Oh wait, she WAS a freak.

"Hell, you're probably just counting the seconds 'til I go away," he laughed, but something in his eyes was searching, as though it was a question. Bella gulped, knowing she now had to say something back, without saying or doing something that would frighten him, like screaming or growling or lunging for him…

"It'sallright." Bella murmured quickly. She was pleased that she had managed to say something coherent, but she knew she couldn't tell him what she really felt. Hi, Edward. I've spent half my time begging for you to come talk to me, and the other half offering my soul to keep you away.

"Oh…good." Edward said after a pause. He looked at her in a puzzled way, as though he were trying to read her mind. Bella was glad he couldn't, though, because if he did, he would surely have run away screaming. "So.." he began. But mercifully, the teacher cleared his throat loudly and began his lecture, pausing only to say "Mr. Cullen, please return to your seat."

Bella was aware of everyone's attention suddenly on her, and she tried to make herself look as small as possible. Edward sighed and turned to her. "Well..Bye, Bella." He whispered. He stood up and went back to his seat, glancing over at her one last time before he sat.

The rest of the class Bella didn't look up once from her book. Her mind was aching with conflicting emotions. He noticed you! He came over to talk to you! The hormonal girl inside Bella squealed. Yay, now you'll have dreams of killing him all night long The cynic snarled. She didn't know how to feel, her heart and her mind pulling her in two different directions. She heaved a deep sigh, and tried her best not to think about anything for the rest of the school day. It shouldn't have been hard to avoid Edward, for he was popular and she was a loner. But her body seemed to be drawn towards him, despite what her mind was saying.

When the last bell rang, Bella sprinted to her truck, flinging open the door and turning the key. She had to get out of there. She couldn't bear it any longer. She drove out of the lot, turning in the opposite direction than the one that took her home. She drove for an hour, winding through the trails that lead deep into the forest. When she decided she was out far enough, Bella parked her truck behind some bushes and jumped out.

Her over shirt and jacket were thrown off to the side, as were her jeans. She was left with only a skin-tight sports bra and her spandex shorts. With a quick glance around to be sure no one was watching her, she let go of all her control that she had struggled to maintain all day. She let the monster out.

Her last thought before the wildness took over was of Edward.

I PROMISE next chapter I'll stop with the leaving out of the monster info.

IF you review, of course :)