Okay! I have followers and readers and one reviewer, (not complaining!) so that gives me the hint that people enjoy reading this fic, which makes me all fuzzy inside. If you are one of my readers and/or followers, please vote for your pairing preference!

So far we have:

OCxLevi: 0

OCxErwin: 1

OCxOther Canon Character: 1 (husband voted for Mikasa.)

I will not go ahead with a pairing until you, the readers, tell me what you want! This is about you want because I did not have this plot with a pairing in mind, but let's face it, we read fanfiction because sometimes it gets naughty. Or is that just me...any way, I know that she is interacting with Levi a lot, but that can stay/blossom into a friendship or develop. I have a way of her getting to Erwin in my head and I seriously even have something worked out with Connie...that is not a freaking joke.

This fic is really dark and somewhat disturbing. Just a reminder to those reading, I do not know some secret about the titans so anything that I spew in here is basically made up from the main plot.

If you are having a feeling I am picking on Mikasa, not entirely the case. She is however, a soldier at heart and I just had a feeling that she would react that way to Ava. I love hearing people's thoughts about this, even if it is criticism! I won't know unless you tell me, so please, go ahead and even if you have no opinion, tell me it's 'good' or 'nice job', that's good enough for me.

This chapter's song is I know you care by Ellie Goulding (in my defense, you were clearly warned, not only that, but my munchkin likes her too, so we listen to her a lot.)


"Ava. Are you ready?"

She turned around to see her uncle standing there, waiting patiently in his best suit. She felt her heart swell with nerves and joy. "Yes, just a moment, I just need to make sure I didn't forget anything."

Her uncle's round and red face smiled back at her and he dipped his head in a nod, leaving her by herself.

She looked down at herself, not sure if it was really happening. She was getting married today. She smiled and felt her cheeks heat up with a blush.

They were young still, 16, but legally accepted to be married and her mother and his family both agreed that they were capable of marriage, since they had pledge their hearts to humanity and now served in the military.

Her dress was simple, since she had to use her allowances to buy it. It was just a white dress to her knees with sleeves. Her mother's only request. She dressed it up with flowers in her, then, long tresses, which she brushed till they shined. Her shoes, were flat and very simple. The people who usually wore them lived at home, taking care of children.

She just couldn't believe it...

As soon as she looked at her hands though, they were covered in blood. She looked up and was no longer in that room, getting ready to walk down the aisle.

Instead she was surrounded by bodies. Partially eaten bodies. She gasped, stumbling around her as the faces came clearly into her mind, old and new. Her mother, sisters, uncle, old squad members, and even some from her new squad.

"No..." She felt panic and fear rise up in her gut. She felt her feet bump into something hard and she turned sharply to see a young and dead Darius looking up at her, as if about to fall asleep.

She fell to her knees, her hands stretched out over the body as terrible moans and cries escaped her. She grabbed his face, begging him to wake up.

"Please, no, no, please, wake up."

Wake up.


She woke, sitting up with her fists tangled in the sheets, a scream caught in her throat.

Oh, holy Maria, why? She covered her face as she trembled and began to sob silently. She didn't want the other's to hear her.

She flipped her legs over the side of her bunk, quietly getting up so not to disturb the others. She found her boots and gear, making her way out of the room and to the kitchen, sitting in a chair and slipping her boots on. She placed the belts on her and tightened them so that they harnessed her body correctly. If they were to lose, they would hang her body painfully. She left the little shack and let the night air hit her. It was cool and slightly humid. The grass glistened with fresh rain and the smell of damp earth was some what comforting to her. She used to live in the country with her family before their father died. Her sisters and her would sneak out of the house some times to play behind the barn and enjoy the cool night air. Some times they would talk about the outside world and rumors of how it looked like.

I wish it was child like and innocent as that. She thought solemnly. She pulled the trigger and a grapple stuck into a tree, pulling her body up high. She had missed flying and thankfully, she hadn't missed huge developments to the equipment in the past 50 years. She kept her maneuvers simple and swung tree to tree. She let her hair blow around her face and the sounds of passing trees made her nightmares temporarily disappear. For now, she could just mindlessly fly.

She landed on a tree branch, medium height from the ground, and crouched down, resting her elbows on her knees. The sounds of night commenced around her and she sighed. She was slightly out of shape, which made even simple maneuvering difficult and exhausting. She mentally noted that she needed to start her training again.

She heard movement below her and she moved to put a new blade on. She looked down and saw blonde hair moving about, recognizing it as the former commander Erwin Smith. She halted her movements and watched him. He seemed to just be walking around, though she knew that he was coming to check on the squad more likely. He was the one who wanted her to help him over turn the government.

She used the 3DMG to make her land close to him; he didn't even flinch. She stared at him with hard eyes and kept her stance defensive, but meant him no real harm. She just was curious about this man who knew nothing about her, yet wanted her involved with his schemes.

"I thought you would be out here." He said in a light tone. "I take it you can't sleep?"

She frowned at the man and tilted her head in a curious way. "I just like to sleep in the air, that's all." She said dryly.

He seemed slightly amused by her reply and nodded. "Well, you are witty. I guess I don't need to beat around the bush with you."

"Yes, please, explain yourself." She crossed her arms and cocked her hip slightly while narrowing her eyes. He was smart, she could tell.

He raised a brow slightly and inhaled deeply. "I suppose I cannot convince you to help us."

"You would be right." She unfolded her arms, her cockiness falling from her. "You shouldn't be asking me for help. I will just make it worse."

"I doubt that. You haven't heard my proposal." He said calmly, his tone friendly, but stern.

"I don't need to. The answer will be no regardless." She shook her head and went to walk past him, brushing her shoulder against his empty right sleeve.

"I know you are tormented by the fact that you killed people. If it weren't for that fact, I would have killed you myself." She turned to look at him, her eyes set in a glare. His eyes were almost scary. They were excited, yet seemed reserved at the same time. It made her uneasy. "The fact that you are mentally torn about consuming the people who you did, makes you human enough for me to ask you to help us. You pledged your heart to humanity, so do your duty as a soldier and aid us."

She felt her anger rise, but when she went to say something, another figure appeared. 2 actually. Levi and Darius came from behind Erwin, stopping at the man's side. "Sorry it took us so long. Commander Pixis will not be able to join us this evening." Darius said as if they didn't walk into a debate. "Good evening Ava."

She felt her heart clinch at seeing him. It was sad to see him. To see his age and be reminded of the time she had missed with him. She nodded gently. Her gaze fell onto the captain, whose face was twisted in a none-to-pleased sneer. "Yes, nice to see you sneaking around without permission."

She pursed her lips and felt her self pout at him. This caused Darius to chuckle. He knew that look meant she knew she was in trouble, but she was not going to admit it. "Captain." She said in acknowledgement, turning her head away in embarrassment. She was going to pay later, she was for sure.

"Zachly-"

She turned towards the captain again, noticing he was stuck on what he had just called her. She was used to it, but she was no longer Darius's wife, meaning her name was not Zachly. She looked to the ground as sadness washed over her. "Perchov." She correctly him gently, knowing that is why he stopped. Darius sighed next to the captain, his eyes also relaying the same feeling.

"Perchov. Erwin has a point. You pledged to the military for life and last I heard is that you have a beating heart under your fucking ribs. You are still a soldier." Levi continued.

She set her jaw and looked at her former husband. "And you?" She asked quietly, her words coming out bitterly. "Do you think I should have the privilege of being called a soldier of humanity again? After all the people I killed, do you think that I should be allowed among you?"

He seemed relaxed, despite her drilling. He was always like that. It was nice to see that hadn't changed. "This has nothing to do with how I think. This is about the people you swore to protect over 50 years ago."

"Then I am putting in a resignation. I am not fit for fighting." She said quickly, her hands balling into fists and her face twisting into a sad plea. "Please, just let it go. I can't do this."

Darius looked at Erwin who was staring at the girl in front of them. Of course, he knew that Darius wouldn't allow it, but he said the following words any ways. "Then you are of no use to us and will be disposed of. Hange will take you in for an interrogation first. Death will not come to you easily."

She regarded him with calm words, her face not showing fear or sadness. "I accept that fate."

They weren't counting on that. In fact, Erwin was pretty sure that she would fight for her life. Levi, however, was not surprised by what he heard. He pulled out a knife, flashing it to her. Still she didn't flinch. "If you accept it, then by all means, what are we waiting for?"

She looked at Darius, whose eyes where hard with anger and they looked over her face in questioning. Was this really something she wanted? Did she see her life so invaluable to the cause she once so believed in with all her heart? "I'm sorry, for what's it's worth." She felt tears streak down her face and she smiled at him fondly. "Thank you, for all the wonderful memories." She closed her eyes, waiting for the last blow.

But it never came.

She frowned and her body became rigid. What was he waiting for? Suddenly she felt the tip of his blade at her throat and his breath against her ear, hot and angry. His arm came around her throat, tightening and making it almost impossible to breathe. "The moment you give up your life, is the day you truly die. You've been dead since you woke your sorry ass up, in my opinion. So, I suggest you use your moron of a corpse and do us all a solid. Live, live for what ever reason you can find." He let go of her and she felt her body fall. She was short in stature and so was he, but he had managed to pick her up by the neck. She gasped as she fell to her knees.

"Ava." Erwin kneeled down, resting his arm on one knee. "I know you feel as if you are worthy of death, but those who are worthy are those who purposely kill humans for pleasure. You once did and here you are, asking for justice. That is succumbing to your humanity."

She looked up at him in disbelief. She didn't understand. "How can I believe any thing you say? You just want me alive so I can help you."

He smiled at her statement. "Yes, but really, what good would you be dead?"


You guys are so lucky I was able to finish this...seriously.

I am super sick and husband is joining the Army Reserves on Friday and my munchkin is having a growth spurt. And we just moved to good ol', extremely hot Texas.

Yay. Any way, the meds I am on knock me out cold, so if you don't hear from me in a week, that is why.

Please vote for your coupling that you would prefer!

-Jane