Kristen and I do not own FMA...

Please R&R! Enjoy ;3

While Roy, Riza and Ed were asleep in the basement, Alphonse had the pleasure of trying to find a way out. So first thing he did was try the door again, this idea ended up scaring the shit out of him so that was the end of that. "HAVOC! nooo!" he heard Breda scream followed by the sounds of tearing fabric, "PUT SOME PANTS ON!" "MHAHAHAH!" Havoc cackled, "COME MY FOLLOWERS! LET US SACRIFICE THE GRAY HAIRED ONE!" "RUN FALMAN!" "I-i told you cabin fever was real... NO HAVOC!"

-BANG! -

"BROTHER!" yelled Alphonse as he ran down the stairs towards the sleeping officers, "Th-they are gonna KILL eachother! … and Havoc isn't wearing pants!"

"No pants Havoc?" Roy mumbled, tightening his hold on Ed and Riza. "HE'S GOING TO KILL FALMAN!" Al screamed. "Let them kill him," Ed said through a yawn. "BIG BROTHER!" Ed waved him away as he tried to sleep again. "WHY DOES THIS NOT BOTHER YOU?" Al asked. Riza stretched. "I'll figure something out," she muttered as she went up the stairs and approached the door. Sure enough, when she put her ear against the door, she heard screaming. She prepared to fire a shot in the air, when Falman burst through the door, knocking her on her ass.

"HIDE ME!" Falman said as he tripped over Hawkeye and down the stairs. Hawkeye - now satisfied the door was open - called for Roy, Ed and Al, before seeing a startling sight; A half naked Havoc. Of course, Hawkeye being Hawkeye, she pulled her gun and fired.

"HAVOC! Put some PANTS ON!"

"NEVER! COME FOLLOWERS! ATTACT THE DEMON WOMAN!"

By now Roy and Ed and Al had reached the door and had the pleasure of seeing a pantsless Havoc, so without thinking Roy covered Al's eyes. He was just too innocent...

"You better not be thinking of cheating on me," said Roy casually.

"Nah," Riza replied, "NOW FOR GOD'S SAKE PUT SOME PANTS ON HAVOC!"

"MY EYES!" shrieked Ed as Havoc ripped off his shirt in a very Armstrong-like way.

"YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME! BHAHAHHAHAHA!"

"That my friends, was Cabin fever -also known as House Syndrome - is an idiomaticterm for a claustrophobic reaction that takes place when a person or group is isolated and/or shut in, in a small space, with nothing to do, for an extended period - as in a simple country vacation cottage during a long rain or snow. Symptoms include restlessness, irritability, irrational frustration with everyday objects, forgetfulness, laughter, excessive sleeping, distrust of anyone they are with, and an urge to go outside even in the rain, snow or dark. Cabin fever can also be known as a term for a lack of sexual intercourse. The phrase is also used humorously to indicate simple boredom from being home alone." Stated Falman as every one's jaw dropped. "Why the fuck do you know that?" asked Ed, "I'm a genius and i don't even know that." Falman shrugged.

"So, what your saying, Falman, is that Havoc hasn't gotten it for awhile and is crazy?" Roy asked menacingly. Falman rubbed the back of his head. "Perhaps that is why, but why did he take his clothes off?" Roy laughed, and Riza grimaced. "Oh, I bet he's jealous." Roy said still covering Al's eyes. "Mr Mustang? Wh-what's wrong with Havoc and hasn't gotten any what?" Roy turned to Ed, "what the hell is your problem? Will you just explain to him already?"

"EXPLAIN WHHHAAATTTT! BROTHER!"

"NEVER!" Shrieked Ed and proceeded to tackel Falman who attempted to give the dictionary definition of getting some.

"wait a second... Where are Breda and Feury!" yelled Al, who had only just been allowed to see again.

"eh... oh well." stated Ed who start to go and find a couch to finish sleeping.

"Sir, i suggest we pair up and retrieve Breda and Feury." Said Riza, slipping back into Lieutenant mode.

"I CHOOSE YOU PIKACHU... I MEAN AL!" Yelled Ed, who's pokemon addiction had started to show. "How old are you, Fullmetal?" Roy questioned. "TWELVE!"

"Okay then... Come on Lieutenant."

"WHAT ABOUT ME?" Falman cried.

"Oh. Stay in here so you don't get sacrificed by Havoc the almighty." Roy said, dreading the idea of Falman coming with him and Riza. "Okay, Ed, Al. You start on this floor. We'll take the second." Ed rolled his eyes. "Fine." Al and Ed headed in the direction where Roy had told him to head in. "Brother?" Al asked quietly. "Isn't the closet on the second floor?"

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"umm? Roy? Feury and Breda could be being eaten by Havoc... Shouldn't we, well, help them?

"Do you really want to leave The Closet?" Roy said in a reverent voice. The Closet was now the best place ever in his mind as he kissed up Riza's neck. "In all reality, no. But if you give me another hickey I'll be upset." she whispered. She ran her fingers through his black hair, allowing him to kiss her throat. "Stop," she giggled childishly. He laughed, and then was statled when she pushed him away.

"Havoc!" She whispered harshly, and pulled her gun as she stood. She was first to witness bare assed Havoc prance into the room.

"DEMON WOMAN! DEMON ASSHOLE! COME WITH ME!"

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"Alphonse?"

"Yes Brother?"

"Did you just hear a gun?"

"nooo..."

-"DEMON WOMAN! DEMON ASSHOLE! COME WITH ME!"-

"did you hear that?"

"Yes brother... that i heard..."

"Run?"

"Run."

"AHHHHH! HAVOC"S GONNA EAT USS!"

"EDWARD?"

"FEURY!"

"FEURY?

"ALPHONSE!"

"FEURY!"

"EDWARD?"

"FALMAN!"

"FALMAN!"

Alphonse sighed, "thank god! We thought Havoc ate you!"

"Noo... But he did steal our shoes..."

"Did he now..." said Ed, as he looked over his shoulder, "and what did he do with said shoes?"

"Burn them in the fireplace."

" I see..." Ed said again, "and does anyone just see a naked Havoc running this way?"

"ED! AL! RUN!" Shrieked Roy as Havoc sprinted past the three subordinates plus one as Riza shot Havoc.

"YOU HAVE MISSED AGAIN DEMON WOMAN! BHAHAHAHA!"

Al screamed upon seeing nude Havoc. Riza shot at Havoc again.

"Don't hurt Havoc! He doesn't know what he's doing!" Riza laughed. "They're rubber." And as she said it, nailed Havoc in the stomach. Havoc fell to the floor in pain, cursing. "SLAVES! KEEL TEH DEMON WOMAN!"

"What special cigarettes is he smoking," Roy mumbled, throwing a jacket at Havoc. Ed transmuted a rope out of the fabric in the carpet, and tossed it to Roy, who tied Havoc up.

"IDIOT! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?" Roy hollered at Havoc, causing everyone to shrink back at his tone. "WHAT THE VOICES ARE TELLING ME!"

Falman nodded. "Yup. He has Cabin Fever. No doubt."

"Only one thing to do," said Roy, "tie him up and lock him in the basement."

Ed, Breda, Feury, and Falman nodded and followed Roy down the hallway.

"WHAT? YOU ARE ACTUALLY GOING TO TIE HAVOC UP AND LOCK HIM THE BASEMENT TO FREEZE?"

"Well, yeah? Why not?" asked Ed.

"BECASUE YOU HAVE A SOUL?" Screamed Al.

"He does?" Roy, Falman, feury and Breda gawked.

"OF COURSE I DO! now give me the rope. I WANT TO TIE HIM UP!"

"No. You can transmute some pants for the son of a bitch,' Roy said, avoiding any unnessicary physical contact with the nude Havoc.

"Goooooood ideaaaa..." said Ed, "BUT I STILL GET TO TIE HIM UP!"

"Fine Ed, fine... Let's just get it over with."

"Sir, are you sure this is the best way to deal with this situation?"

"HELL YEAH!" yelled Ed while jumping in front of Roy.

"Edward, since when do i call you sir?"

"sorry..."

"yeah, you better be shorty!" said Roy, "and yes, Hawkeye i think this is an excelant way to deal with this shitttt-uation."

Riza sighed, refusing to dirty her hands with this 'shit-uation.'

Roy threw a pair of pants at Havoc, and at Riza's gunpoint, Havoc put them on. Ed than delightedly tied up Havoc, and Al, Roy, Breda, and Ed picked Havoc up by each limb, and dragged him to the foot of the staircase.

"one, two, three!" Ed yelled, and the swung Havoc down the stairs.

Clunk, clunk, clunk, clunk. Riza looked down the stairs to see Havoc picking himself off the floor. Roy, now seing his comrade wasn't seriously injured, slammed the door shut, leaving Havoc to his own insanity.