Disclaimer: All copyrighted to J.R.R. Tolkien, the brilliant man who fathered Middle-Earth. Except for Lirealphiel. And Amarahirewen is Kiara's. Anonwen......well....lets see......Kiara and I jointly own him. There, the not-so-huge list. Content? Hope so, I'm not typing any more. *grins*
AN: At bottom.


Chapter 3
Osanwe Enwina
Old Thoughts




Light flooded my open eyes and I squinted try to see whomever it was that had entered my room. I could hear the soft foot steps and the sound of my curtains being opened. I rubbed my eyes and sat up. Through my blurred vision, I could see the form of someone familiar.
"Anonwen?" I sad, a little uncertain.
He flung open the last set of curtains that were of a large bay-window size. The room filled with more light, until I could see naught but a bright blur. I raised my hands to shade my eyes and watched as he turned to face me, arms spread out from flinging the curtians open.
"What are you doing?" I asked dropping my hands, seeing how my eyes had begun to adjust quickly to the light.
"It is morning!" he said quietly, yet happily.
I replied with a flat voice, "This I can see."
"And you have come home!" With these words he closed the distance between us and swept me up in his lithe but strong arms.
Normally a more quiet and reserved elf, my elder brothers excessive display of emotion was startling. I was overwhelmed by his energy and just hung there with my arms clamped down to my sides. I came out of my stupor and began to wiggle and mumble, "Let me go!"
Finally, Anonwen let go and sat on the bed, grinning broadly down at me.
For a moment i just looked at him, then burst out in laughter. He looked so eccentric just siting there with that maniac grin, like a dog waiting for its master.
"What's so funny?" He asked, still smiling.
"The look on your face... I've never seen you this excited."
His eyes sparkled. "I am happy to see you home." He sounded more serious now. "Your journey to Rivendell was only to be temporary."
I sighed and relayedto him the whole event concerning my prolonged stay. I told him of my journey to Rivendell to visit Amarahirewen. I told him of our explorations. I told him of how we used the portal to travel to the Earth-World. I told him of Elijah and how he "fell" though the portal with us when we tried to leave. I told him how Ams and I had been responsible for the awkward human and of the escapades with the Orcs (I did not mention the fact that I had been wounded or how it had happened).
At that he frowned. " What was Elrond thinking? You two should have had an elf man with you. The prissy human does not sound like a help, only a hindrance."
I laughed. He was obviously getting jealous. It was a known fact, to myself, that Anonwen was attracted to Amarahirewen. They had a relationship when we were younger, in our teen years of elven-hood. But it had waned away, like the fading of the moon, as Anonwen and I had returned to Lorien.
I preceded to tell him of my travel home and my visits with old friends. I had reached the city gates late last night and walked straight to my tree. I climbed up the silver-grey steps that wound about the tree trunk to the small house like structure in the branches. Barely had I taken off my pack and outer clothing before I had fallen, soundly sleeping in to my bed, with only loose white linen pants and tunic on.
I sighed and ended my account with," You know how Ams and I are. I didn't want to leave her, especially with the "prissy human". It was hard this time, as always."
Anonwen cleared his throaght softly. "Yes...um...Amarahirewen...how is she? It has been a while."
I was my turn to smile faintly. "She's grown a little. Still the same person though." I said that with meaning.
He nodded slightly and choose to keep his thoughts to himself. but he did smile and the corners of his eyes crinkled when he did. He was 10 years older than I, yet still handsome as elfs come, his hair was golden brown and reached just below his ears. I was cut in a layered fashion and did not flow sleekly down his head. Instead it seemed to hover around his face bobbing slightly as he moved. His eyes were a deep dark brown, almost black. Yet they were warm eyes and if one looked close enough through is uneven bangs, one could see the faint ringlets of colour. Anonwen did not have a strong build, but all he has to do is hug you or give you a pat on the back to prove his strength.
Usually quiet, reasonable, patient and strongwilled, Anonwen was my closest sibling and friend. He could sit silently in the sunlight for hours and never be bored. He understood how much more a whisper was worth than a loud voice. Anonwen would listen to problems or fears (no matter how frivolous) and not speak, just listen, just be a friend. He was the person I trusted most, besides Amarahirewen. He knew parts of me Ams did not know, and perhaps never would.
"We should go for a walk, It has been a while since you've walked slowly and steadily on Lorien earth." Anonwen said.
He was right, as I had rushed through the woods, eager to arrive at the city. I nodded my approval so he went down and waited at the bottom of the spiral stairs for me to change into more appropriate apparel and dress my wound, unbeknownst to him.


* * *



So Anonwen and I walked out into the heart of Galadrim. We walked side by side laughing softly and reminiscing together. We watched the elves and the business going on so quietly. That is what I loved most about this land my home land; it's peacefulness. I was always tranquil here in Lorien.
Even though there were many elves around, the city never seemed to busy. Conversing, socializing, buying and selling were a few of the many activities occurring in the city. Most, if any, trade was with unusual items not found in Lorien. The jewelry and metal-works of dwarves, plants and herbs from lands far away and finely woven cloth and material. Food, you see, was never an issue in LothLorien: elves here never went hungry.
As we talked, Anonwen and I stopped to rest by one of Galadrim's many fruit trees. Pulling fruit from its branches, we leaned against its trunk and bite into our fare, continuing conversation. Kiolnah the plant was called, its fruit was a dark burgandy-purple and oval shaped, about the size of ones outstretched hand. When one bit the fruit at first it was tasted bitter, but as you chewed, sweeter juices came from the pulpy fruit.
As we paused in our walking, I scanned over the plant life and the people. My eyes stopped on one comely elf with long blonde hair that reached down to her lower back and amber-brown eyes. She smiled then laughed. How familiar she seemed. I cocked my head and chewed my fruit thoughtfully, only half listening to my brothers talking. ~Where do I know her?~ It was making my head hurt to think so hard.
The elven maiden smile again and wrapped he conversant in a radiant hug. It was only when I looked at the male elf she was hugging did the memories come back. I suddenly felt nauseous and clammy. In my mind, I was pushing the thoughts back. I dropped the rind of my kiolnah and put my hands on either side of my head, shaking. I was screaming in my mind ~Ai! Aman Fëanturi!No! Don't give it thought! Don't think about it! Go away! It's over!~
Anonwen finally noticed me and put a hand concernedly on my shoulder. "Lirealph.......Lireaphiel?"
"Over there." I chanced a quick glance with my eyes, but shut them quickly after I had looked at her.
Anonwen browsed though the crowd and recognized who I spoke of. Understanding, he put one arm around my shoulders and quickly ushered me back to my dwelling. He helped me climb shakily up the stairs and sat me down gently on the bed. Sitting next to me, Anonwen rocked me back and forth, whispering soothing words in my ears.
But for some odd reason, I could not hold back the tortus memories and was forced to relive my younger, more unhappy days in Lorien. Picture after picture, feeling after feeling and dialogues heard and forgotten resurfaced and crowded in my head. I began to cry, letting loose pools of tears and weeping. I cried until my throaght was dry and rasping and no more sounds escaped my lips.
Anonwen pulled me into his lap like I was a child, still rocking me back and forth. He began to sing softly and gently over my rough whimpers, trying to get me to focus on the words in stead of my thoughts.


"Ai! Laurie lantar lassi surinen!
yeni unotime ve ramar aldaron,
yeni ve linte yuldar vanier
mi oromardi lisse-miruvoreva
Andune pella Vardo tellu, ar
nu luini yassen tintilar i eleni
omaryo airetari-lirinen..."



But my mind would not have it. For some reason, my soul would not be consoled until I remembered everything I had worked so hard to forget. Felling flooded me, overwhelmed me. I felt mounting grief, a sense of rejection, powerlessness, confusion and most of all betrayal. Like a part of me was gone.

* * *


During all this, I must have either blacked out or fell asleep, all I know is that I lost consciousness. Anonwen told me that once my tears had stopped, he had layed me down in my bed and covered me with a blanket. The he retired himself to a chair next to my bed and fell asleep while waiting for me to wake up. He said he too was taunted by nightmarish memories, though not as harsh as mine could have been.


A/N: Well? Does it suite your fancy? Rather cliche, I know. I know its kinda long. You must realize it takes me forever to sit downs and type these chapters up. Thanks for the reviews, few as they are.


I dedicate this chapter to Kiara Lawrence: I pray you never cry, outward or inward, again.