Blinded by her ever-growing rage towards Tom, Lizzie nearly slammed into Dembe as she went back through the warehouse doors.
"How is he doing, Dembe?" He appeared more composed, than when they had first arrived at the warehouse, yet worry still filled his eyes. Red had told her about Dembe, that he had a very close, brotherly connection with him; Red took him in at the age of 14. He told her about how Dembe would literally lay down his life for him, if he knew that it would save him. Lizzie could tell that this was hard for Dembe, one of the very few times, he had not been able to protect Red.
"Better. The bullet was found lodged inside his chest, but Dr. Saunders managed to get it out. It punctured his lung, and nicked his right atrium. He lost a lot of blood, but Dr. Saunders said that he can repair everything. And that Raymond will hopefully make a full recovery."
Lizzie was so relieved to hear the news. She gave the tall, dark man a hug around his waist; at times she felt like she was hugging a tree trunk, he was so big and solid. "Thank you, Dembe, that is such a relief. How long did the doctor say the surgery would last?"
"A few more hours, at least. He wants to make sure that there are no other internal injuries."
"Liz!" Tom was yelling from outside. "We are not done talking."
"Call me as soon as he comes out of surgery Dembe!" Lizzie pleaded.
Dembe nodded.
She stormed back out of the warehouse to where Tom was yelling for her.
As she came out the door, Tom placed himself between her and the warehouse door. "Tom, I'm done with you and your accusations. I've enough on my plate right now." She tried to walk past him, when he grabbed her arm.
"I'm NOT done with you. I'm NOT going to have you constantly in the line of fire because of Reddington. He's not worth it. He's not deserving of a second chance. Has he ever told you about the night of the fire, Liz? Or is he still keeping that information from you?"
Ripping her arm from his grasp, she retorted back, "And what would you know of second chances?"
Her voice faltered as her words brought back vivid memories of the first day she ever met Red. "But if anyone can give me a second chance it's you. The two of us have overcome so much."
"You're far worse than Reddington. Hell, Tom. I don't even know your REAL name. Who are you really?! You criminals are all notorious liars. He told me that he was the one that hired you, and that you then had the audacity to double cross him and go to work for Berlin, of all people. Too bad YOU didn't have the decency to tell me that."
Tom looked at Lizzie and muttered, "Jacob. Jacob Phelps."
"What?" Lizzie questioned.
"My name. My real name is Jacob Phelps. Are you happy now?!" he snarled.
"Honestly, I really don't give a damn anymore, Tom or Jacob, or whatever the HELL your name is. I'm so sick and tired of this runaround, this back and forth. I really wish I'd let Reddington kill you that day, or finished you off myself. I can only imagine how much less stressful my life would be right now if I had. Gah, if only I hadn't needed you to get to Berlin, I would have killed you on that boat," she confessed.
"Is that … is that how you really feel, Liz? After all this time, you'd rather see me dead?" Lizzie could see the pain in Tom's eyes, but didn't care, not anymore.
"At this point in time, yes." She felt a sense of relief. Relief that she had finally told Tom exactly how she felt. All the feelings that she had stored up inside her bubbled to the surface, like a pot of boiling water on a hot stove; the betrayal, the lies, the knowledge that she had been married, for two years, to a liar and a double agent. If anyone was ruining her life, it wasn't Reddington … it was Tom.
He just shook his head. "I think it's time for me to leave." After a moment, when he looked deep into her eyes, as if he couldn't quite believe what she'd just told him to do, Tom seemed to realize that she meant exactly what she'd said and, finally he turned to leave. He stopped for a moment and without turning around, spoke over his shoulder, "You know Liz, no matter what happens, you can call me. I'll help whenever I can. Thanks again for the passports."
Lizzie rolled her eyes at him. "Just go already. I've got more important things to deal with right now. And do me a favor, please, don't come back!"
Lizzie finally had the solitude she was so desperately seeking. She paced back and forth thinking, fuming.
"What the hell does he know of second chances? What a bastard! Our whole marriage was one huge lie. Reddington has NEVER lied to me. Sure, he may have given me half-truths here and there, mere breadcrumbs at times that eventually led to me finding the answers I needed, but never an outright lie. That's how Reddington works; he gives you the bare scraps and leaves you to figure out the rest. It helped me become a better profiler, being able to see these cases from the criminal's point of view as well as the cop's. He told me that everything about him was a lie, though. I wonder how much of that is the 'truth'?"
"Are you in love with Reddington?" Tom's question kept creeping back into Lizzie's mind.
"Am I? Do I love him? How can I love a man that I hate beyond words? Is it true that love and hate are two sides of the same coin? He hired Tom and placed him in my life. He has led so many other bad people into my life. How many times has he put me in the line of fire? How many MORE times is he going to let me walk right into danger? Yet, he has been the only one there to 'rescue' me. The Stewmaker, the night at the Embassy, Braxton … He has always been there. He's always put himself at danger's doorstep to protect me. He told me once that he believed he would always do whatever he felt he had to do to keep me alive. When everything went to shit with Tom, he was there. Despite everything, I feel I can trust him. I CAN trust him. I DO trust him.
She stood for a long time and absorbed this thought. It soaked slowly through her very being and settled in her core; in her heart and soul.
"He's the only thing that has left me feeling sane, left me feeling grounded … left me feeling … loved. When I lost … Sam … I lost the person who loved me the most. Now, Red is all that I really have left in my life. I don't know if I want to know what happened the night of that fire. Do I really NEED to know? What would it change in the end? I have Red. I feel so different around him. I feel … special."
"Oh, I think you're very special." He had had such a twinkle in his eyes when he said those words; the conversation from her first meeting with Red crept into her mind again. She felt her cheeks burn slightly; she knew she was blushing.
She looked down at her phone. It was nearing 9pm now. She had met with Red over four hours ago. She looked up at the stars and just gazed. "Whoever did this, I will find them. I WILL find them, and they WILL pay!"
