When the right time did come, Stein had been away in Marie's room, ruffling through her closet in search of plumbing tools that would work for Stein's experiments. The chair was waiting calmly outside for Stein's return, but at the same time, it was watching for its chance. When Stein emerged from the clothes wearing nothing but a leopard print leotard, Romario gagged, fearful of what it meant for their relationship as Stein pushed the door open, proud of his new outfit.
They both had to admit that the fabric did wonders to tone and shape Stein's body, latching to every curve in every direction as Stein walked closer and closer. But Romario backed away in disgust at the view in the front, how vile and disturbing it looked when the leotard squeezed against—
It was just disgusting.
Romario didn't test out the firm-looking ass that evening. It was too busy plotting its mutiny, it took enough of Stein's chasm of doom (the crack of the ass) for too long.
Marie heard the chair roll forward, nudging her knee as she turned from the frying pan. It was a rare occasion to see that the chair was separated from Stein for once, knowing that the man she was in a domestic relationship with did not part with Romario for more than fifteen minutes at a time. She leaned closer to listen to what it had to say, and what she heard was stomach clenching, even more than what she was used to. How dare Stein look through her clothes without permission! And how dare he wear her most treasured possession! It was war.
She shook with fury, her face red and her lips squeezed in a line. Marie nodded to the chair, thanking it for the new information while reaching for the drawer to her left. Her hand pulled out a small vial, one that she used to make her poops flow more easily, squeezing the entire contents into the pan as she stirred it up without a word. It was what Stein—what the wild man deserved, Marie believed. And the chair backed away with a sneer, never taking its eyes off of Marie's butt as it did.
That night, Stein felt an odd sensation in his ass, one he wasn't accustomed to but also one that Marie had described so often before when they were small children. He jumped out of bed, running directly to his bathroom but stopping before he reached the door. The pain in his stomach made him recalculated his plan after realizing that he didn't have enough toilet paper for the destruction he was about to create. Instead, he jumped to Marie's bathroom, knowing that Celestine would be more than happy to take his shit as generous as a toilet could be. He pulled down the leotard to his knees and sat on the rim, relieving himself of the poop as he sighed into the night.
He thought that his fumes were bad as he spread his legs, the leotard dropping to his hairy ankles. Stein had taken a deep breath in to refill the space that he'd lost when he was squeezing out the lumps of nasty, the stench absorbing into his lungs just as they would with cigarette smoke. For good measure, he took another wiff of the dung in the bowl, sticking his nose right in between his thighs. The poor toilet was the last thing on his mind when he flushed, the rumblies shaking his sack as a maelstrom formed under him, dragging the dirty ships down to the depths of the pipes. It was like he was born anew. The seat vibrated and moved and oh lord it was incredible.
Stein loved how it called to him and he called back, "Yasssss baby purr for me!"
And it was all it took for Marie to jolt up in the next room, to stomp into the bathroom, to screech in horror at the sight before her. There was Stein, cheating with her Celestine. A flash of lightning illuminated the room, causing the porcelain to glow faintly, but then the ethereal light disappeared along with the look of pleasure on Stein's face.
He knew he was dead, that the grim reaper had come for him then.
She screamed.
She fought.
She cried.
How could Celestine abandon her for another man? They were connected from the time Marie was potty trained, from the very beginning when she believed men would never accept her and that Celestine was the one she would marry. It was supposed to be their happily ever after, together.
Now, they were through.
With stormy eyes, she summoned Romario who had been snickering, concealed by the shadows in the hallway. The chair rolled to her, and she mounted it, smack smack smacking dat Mjolnir ass against the cushions. Marie gave her toilet one more look, heartbreak clear on her face, and left with Romario, leaving the house all together. She was finally seeing the world, leaving her old one behind her.
It was over for them, and as for Stein? He got the shitty end of the deal.
His stench was strong enough to make paint peel, far too much for one innocent toilet to handle on its own. Never had Celestine hurt its one true Marie. Never in all its life had it given her Marie such betrayal. The weight of Celestine's sins crashed onto it, splitting the toilet into two and it fell to the cold ground, water squirting every which way.
It was the end for the poor pristine Celestine while Stein was left to pick up the broken pieces.
