Reaching for the Hellish Black Sky

Twigs, cold puddles, earth, mud, dead wet leaves and tree roots.
My feet got awfully familiar with these things.

Bushes and low hanging branches.
My legs got awfully familiar with these things.

Rain, cold sea wind and slightly higher branches.
The skin on my arms and face got awfully familiar with these things.

Surely if there was more light my white 'asylum' gown would look bloody.
But right now, the blood seeping through the torn fabric looked black.

Black, black, black, black, black...

My mind like my gown; black and torn.

Jeanette, Jeanette, Jeanette, Jeanette, Jeanette...

For ever these feet could run for her.
For ever these feet would run for her.
Sweet, rough, fire Jeanette.

As I ran through the shadows of the forest, the doctors still chasing me in my mind, I thought nothing.
Was nothing but moving feet and gasping lungs.
I think it was the medication, or perhaps the crazy part of me, giving me this strength and stamina.

The highest branches reached towards the hellish black raging sky.

Like a omen, an omen.I tripped over a fallen -and most likely rotten- tree.
I did not however wince or cry in pain and fatigue, as I fell head fist into the dirt.
I did however push my upper body up with my elbows and let my head hand between my arms, as my hands rested on the muddy earth.

My breathing was fast and uncontrolled.
My muscles suddenly burned from the intense energy release they had given me.
I imagened her here with my as I lay there catching my breath.
Jeanette, sweet, strong Jeanette.

I imagined her standing behind me.
A look that one would almost described as hurt written on her face.

"Therese..."

She would have said, in a gentle voice.

I grunted in response.

She would have frowned for a second.
But then certainly she would smile.

"Never thought you'd have it in you." She would've said.

I chuckled darkly.

She'd shaken her head, slowly walking over to me kneeling next to my body.
Carefully eyeing my body to see if I wasn't seriously injured.

"After all those years of you being to scared to go out of your room and have some fun and you escape the 'Asylum' like its nothing." She'd say shaking her head, glad to know that these injury's would heal, though she'd never admit it.

"Anything-" I stop, surprised at how out of breath I am.

"You'd do the same." I say looking up at her next to me.

But I don't find her.
It takes me a second to realize she's not here.
But when I do it falls on me heavily, as well as the exhaustion, that she is dead; ripped out of my brain with shocks and 'medicine'.

My eyes start to burn and my head is suddenly so heavy that it falls down into the muddy dirt.
The dirt cools my warm forehead, probably cools it below healthy temperatures.
But my whole body is suddenly hot with emotion and the after burn of using too much energy.

I whimper as a cold, or better said even colder wind sets in.
I pull my knees up to my chest and hold them between my arms as I roll to my left side.
Mud creeps into my ear but I don't care.

Hot tears burn my skin as they slip out of my eyes and over my skin and into the cold dirt.
I cry then, emotion after all this numbness suddenly hitting me heavily.

Why me, why all of this.
It used to be okay, it used to be bearable.
But then you were there with me.
Not alone, not alone, I cannot bear this weight by myself.

I feel as if even my skin, numb for the cold, is to heavy for me to bear.
As if it is too heavy, and will bruise my muscles and break my bones as it leans on me in this weak moment.
This painful, tearing, lonely moment.

Deep ripped sounds, screech from my painful throat.
The pain makes me more aware of my body.
Of other pains that stab and burn on it.

My left hand, my feet, the skin on my arms, legs and face.
Every joint in my body burning from the cold.
My lungs burning from exhaustion with every breath.

I cry.
Oh how I cry.
Like a child left at the fair by her mother, as it watches the horses lit by the orange glow of the light bulbs on the merry go around.

She is not here and what am I doing.

Trying to reach my old house by the salt scent of the sea carried by the wind.
To find the Ocean House, and then what.
Mister Freeman wouldn't know where to find me.

Mister Freeman was crazy.
How would he know how to save my sister.
Why, for god sakes why had I this unbelievable faith in his words.

Why even now did I believe he had spoken the truth.
When even, with my disturbed mind, I was at least able to figure out he would never find me.
That he didn't even told me where to meet him in order for him to give my sister life again.

It isn't right.
It doesn't fit.
And yet I believe.
For this stupid reason that I can't understand.
Can't reach.

It does not make sense.
I know, or at least I know that I am supposed to know, that I will never save my sister.

This sends another pain through my body.
One more heavy, more burning then any of the other pains on my weak body.
It cuts sharply into my chest and I cry out in pain my muscles tightening, and protesting in the process.

Pain swallows me, as do the shadows the forrest cast on me.
My sanity, my mind, my body, my soul buckle under the weigth of this pain.
And it swallows me, takes me deep into the devils belly as my being burns in the acid of his stomach.


Okay so thats what you come up with at 2:48 in the morning after drinking wehehay too much and getting a good review (OMG why did I even check to see if I got any, I do actually have work in the morning).
Don't know if it is any good, I think it is, but then again I just came back from a party and might be bit too confident about most things right now.
However I hoped you enjoyed.
Pretty please review it really keeps me going, and I could use the boost right now.