A/N: Hey guys! As promised, here is the second chapter for today. I figure I won't waste your time with a super long Author's Note, so I'm going to move right into the story! Read and Review please! Thanks!
Disclaimer: Nope, I still don't own Les Miserables.
Chapter 3
EPONINE
*Short Recap*
She stood up from her perch, and clapped her hands together happily, attracting everyone's—including R's—eyes. "We've figured out a date for the wedding!" She squealed. "Two months from today, You will be looking at Mrs. Marius Pontmercy! Isn't that great!?"
Cosette looked directly at me expectantly, her bright blue eyes shining as though she wanted me to burst out in cheers. Her words rang painfully in my ears, and suddenly I couldn't breathe. It was as though someone was sitting on my chest, making it impossible to suck air into my lungs. They were actually going through with it; Marius and Cosette were actually getting married. There was no chance for Marius to notice me as anything more than a friend.
The thought made me sick. I couldn't believe it. I had followed Marius around like a lost puppy for as long as I could remember, always doing things for him simply because he had asked, and he still didn't see me. I shook myself out of my mindless stare and forced a smile to my face.
"That's great, Cosette." I said, fighting to keep my voice from wavering. "I'm happy for you guys. Congratulations." I tried uselessly to keep the smile on my face and the cheerful tone in my voice. I failed miserably, and I felt the smile fall from my lips. I looked around the room to find everyone looking at me sadly. I wanted to ease their minds, tell them that I was fine, but in truth I wasn't fine. My heart was breaking with every second that ticked by, and both Marius and Cosette were blind to what their happiness did to me.
Without warning, Cosette stepped forward and grabbed my hands. An uncomfortable feeling spread through my abdomen, shooting through my veins at the soft touch of her hands. "Eponine, I want you to be the maid of honor." She said slowly, her voice soft.
Confusion muddled my brain, and I jerked my hands away without thinking about it. The temperature of my skin rose, my cheeks on fire, burning as though a fire spread through every vein in my body, scorching every cell. "What?" I asked my throat running dry. "Why me?" She looked at me as though I was senseless, as though I didn't understand what she had just said. In response she laughed softly and smiled at me.
"I want you to be my maid of honor." She repeated, this time slowly as though she though I couldn't comprehend what was going on, what she was saying.
"I heard." I said slowly. "I—I don't know if you'd want that." I couldn't picture myself at their wedding in the first place. Let alone standing up at the alter with them, wishing them a lifetime of happiness. I couldn't be up there. My insides were uncomfortable even thinking about them being joined in marriage, and they seared at the thought of being up there and being part of their wedding. My stomach churned at the thought.
She giggled it off, hitting my shoulder playfully. "Of course I want that, Eponine." Her voice was soft, and she pulled me into a stiff hug. "You're my best friend." She whispered softly. "Besides, without you, Marius and I wouldn't be together. I want you up there with me."
My stomach churned, and I realized that she was right. If it weren't for me, they wouldn't be together, they wouldn't have met, and they definitely wouldn't be getting married. If I had refused to deliver Marius' letters, if I had refused to lead the way to her house, if I had refused things would be much different. If things were different, maybe Marius would have seen me standing always in the background vying for his attention. My head spun around the idea, and my vision began to blur my thoughts were making me so dizzy. I simply nodded at Cosette and extracted myself from her grasp.
"I'll be there," I said suddenly feeling very sick to my stomach. "I'd better get home though. Dawn will be worried. I was supposed to come right home after my shift." I said starting to back up toward the stairs, earning a few suspicious looks from the boys, and a confused look from Cosette.
"Oh okay, Eponine." She said smiling softly. "I'll see you tomorrow." I nodded and turned toward the stairs, my head screaming at me to retreat faster, but my feet were refusing to move fast enough. I moved down the stairs as swiftly as my feet would carry me, panic surging though my veins. I felt helpless as I moved through the cluttered tables on the bottom floor of the café. I hurried out the door, my lungs craving the sweet taste of fresh air. I stepped out onto the street and over into the alley behind the café, it was the only short cut I knew to my apartment.
As soon as I stepped into the alley, the thoughts that had disarrayed my brain all day bombarded my every sense, and tears threatened to spill over. Emotion took over me, thinking about Marius, my Marius, marrying Cosette, the young lark I had grown up with. Hormones raged through my veins, causing every sense to be heightened and the emotional turmoil was ten times worse than it should be.
I slouched against the wall of the café, letting the hot tears streak down my face, and loathing myself for showing such a reaction. The way I had grown up, crying was seen as a weakness, an opening to be hurt. I grew up learning never to grow attached to someone, and yet I had become attached to Marius, opening myself up for heartbreak. A stupid move on my part. Realization of my stupidity, caused the tears to be less made of sadness and more made up of rage. I was angry at myself for falling in love, angry at Marius for falling for Cosette, angry with Cosette for failing to see how much I truly loved Marius.
I closed my eyes and tried to take deep breaths to soothe the tears. I was so focused on trying to rid myself of the tears I didn't even hear footsteps approaching me. "Eponine?" A familiar voice to my right said, causing my eyes to shoot open in panic. I looked to the direction of the voice and saw the person that I least expected to see.
"Enjolras?" My voice was almost a whisper. I wiped the tears quickly away from my eyes, ashamed that he had seen the tears falling down my cheeks. "What are you doing out here?"
"To see if you're alright," he said stepping closer awkwardly. "You were acting funny.." He let the sentence hang in the air between us.
Immediately the words "I'm fine," spilled from my lips without even a glimmer of a thought passing through my mind. I knew it was a downright lie, and I had no idea why I had told it. I didn't want him to know that I was taking this as hard as I was. He had seen the tears, there was no denying that I wasn't fine.
"Eponine," he said sighing. "I'm sorry things have been awkward between us. But I know enough about you to know that you're not fine. I know that it's hard on you to see them together." He paused. "You're not fine. So don't lie to me and tell me that you are."
I was shocked at how he talked to me, as though he knew a single thing about me. Anger surged through my blood, bubbling in my veins. However, it quickly subsided as I realized that it was irrational to be angry at him, after all he was just trying to assure that I was okay. Granted, he hadn't spoken to me in a little a month and half, but due to his helpful intentions, I couldn't possibly be angry. "I'm sorry," I said softly. "You're right, it's hard, but they're getting married now. I'm going to have to get used to the fact that they love one another."
"Oh, Eponine," He said slowly, awkwardly. "Allow me to accompany you home."
I nodded slowly, accepting the hand he offered to help me off the wall. We walked in silence until we reached my apartment building. I traced my eyes along the wall of the building, and then along the sky down to his face.
"Enjolras?" I asked as we began to walk along the pavement to the lobby door of the apartment building. When he nodded, a sign I took to mean continue, I began speaking again. "I have something to tell you." He looked directly at me and cocked an eyebrow. Suddenly, I felt extremely nauseous and nervous. I paused and couldn't find the proper way to start what I wanted to say.
He didn't need to know. He didn't need the trouble. He didn't need the extra burden. I kept telling myself these things, convincing myself that he wouldn't want to know. He looked at me expectantly, his blue eyes analyzing mine. "Thank you," I finally said. That was by no means what I wanted to tell him, but he nodded before ushering a quick "You're welcome" and heading off in the other direction.
As I watched him depart, I placed a hand over my still flat stomach, knowing full well what he didn't, what he wouldn't ever know.
SO?! Let me know what you think! I'll get the next chapter up in the next few days. Oh, and I'm sorry this chapter is immensely boring. The story will definitely be picking up, but it takes a little bit of build up. Thanks for being so amazing you guys! On to the next chapter!
