Yarrrrr: Not mine. Coarse language and blah blah blah.

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I woke up to the sound of voices. It took a minute for the memory of my abduction to return. I thought it best to play like I was still unconscious, but that didn't last long.

"Good evening, Dr. Newman."

Was it sad that this was becoming routine?

I turned my head to the side and groaned. I wasn't really in pain but until I knew what he was going to do, he didn't need to know how aware I was.

"Open your eye, Dr. Newman."

I did open it, briefly enough. It was enough to see that I was surrounded by a large group of men with the Scarecrow next to me. The possibilities for fun were endless. I could barely contain my grin.

"The formula, Dr. Newman. Tell me."

I moaned quietly and began to whisper some of the basic components. I needed to get him closer. I figured since I was strapped down to some table, quite tightly, that he might consider it safe enough.

Bingo! I felt his body heat on my arm. I had loosened the ties that held my right arm down, the arm closest to him. All I needed was for him to get closer. I had the perfect distraction planned.

I cracked my eye to see where he was. He still wasn't closer enough. I moaned, again, and clenched my face in pain. I must have looked harmless, or at least like I was really out of it. I started speaking even more softly. He needed to be closer!

"Scarecrow," I whimpered.

That got his attention. Oh, he was definitely close enough. I could feel his breath on my face. Someone likes Earl Grey. Mmm, I want some tea. Argh! No! Concentrate!

"Tell me, Susan."

We're on a first name basis now? Aww, does someone think I'm pretty? I always thought my red eye patch made me look dashing. It's time to play. I popped my eye open and cracked a large grin at him.

"Peek-a-boo."

I crushed my lips into his. With his jaw slackened from shock, it was easy to deepen the kiss. It didn't last long; he ripped himself away from me, but it was long enough to get me what I wanted: the sedative in his pocket. Operation Feminine Wiles is successful.

The look on his face was one that I'll forever label as a cherished memory. Just to further immortalize this moment, I licked my lips and cracked a sexy grin.

"Mmm, I like Earl Grey. Think I could have a cup?"

The look on his face was indescribable. Once again, we had reached another point in our relationship where I couldn't tell whether he wanted to finish what I started, so to speak, or strangle me with my own intestines. And once again, Batman prevented me from finding out.

He announced his presence by disabling all the lights. He seemed to do that a lot. Why didn't he try something different? He could try dropping in dressed as the Easter Bunny or in drag. That's sure to strike fear in the hearts of evildoers.

I used Batman's distraction and the cover of darkness to release myself from my bonds. Once my eye adjusted to the darkness, I was finally able to see the Bat Man in action, and he is a sight to behold. No wonder he has so many fangirls; he's damn sexy.

And a bastard, apparently. He had already finished the goons and moved on to the Scarecrow. This had to be the world's most one sided fight. Scarecrow had already got a bloodied lip, a bloodied nose, a black eye, and probably other injuries I couldn't see. He must have done something to really piss off the Bat, because he was on the ground and the Bat was still coming.

Oh, God, I think I'm fixing to do something really stupid. At least it's not a bad way to go. I'm damn sure this will be fun. As they say in Azeroth: For the Horde!

Whatever Batman may have expected from this encounter, he probably didn't expect to be hit over the head with a pipe and injected with a sedative. There wasn't much in the syringe, so he wouldn't be out for long. I grabbed the Scarecrow by the arm and pulled him up. It was time for us to haul ass!

--

It took time and effort to drag him to a safe place. At least, I assumed it was safe. The Scarecrow gave me directions while I lugged his ass around. That man is heavier than he looks.

We were in a spacious little abode somewhere outside the city, maybe in the suburbs. I wasn't really sure. Besides, I had bigger things to worry about.

Scarecrow was a mess. He was even bloodier than I was, and that's saying something. Batman really did a number on this guy. I was up for hours cleaning and bandaging his wounds. Every once in a while he squirmed, but he was unconscious the entire time. With nothing to do but wait, I left him in bed to scrounge for food.

I was ecstatic to find the kitchen well stocked. I wasn't sure when my last meal had been, but I took this opportunity to gorge myself. I made soup for the Scarecrow, though. With that shiner blooming on the entire left side of his face, chewing wasn't going to be much of an option.

I didn't have to wait long for him to wake up; it seemed that the temperature fell twenty degrees. It seemed like it dropped even further when I actually entered the room with his meal. Woo boy, can that man glare. I think someone is a mite unhappy. I could feel his eyes following me as I set his tray within reach. As I turned to leave, I was startled by his voice.

"Why?"

I stared at him. I didn't really have a reason. Maybe it was because I thought he was pretty. Well, he is! Or maybe it was because I hated to see him beaten. Not only was that unfair, but it reminded me of my own less than stellar childhood. Or maybe it was because of the fact that being around him usually ended up with me having fun. Probably that. Hee! Regardless of the possible reasons, I didn't know which one, but I decided to answer him anyway.

"Why not."