SONIC
So, yeah, not a vacation. Heck no, but just as fun: I came here, planning on foiling hare-brained, patented, super-dumb, Dr. Eggman Evil Plot Number One-Hundred-And-Four. So, he announced some plot about dreams and stuff, didn't really pay much attention, so we followed him in my plane. Tails was piloting, as usual, and if you don't know who he is, he's the most awesome yellow, two-tailed, eight-year-old little fox brother in the entire world. Also the most awesome of each of those things by themselves, not just together.
Tails: Aw, Sonic, I'm not…
Yes you are, end of conversation. Anyway, we were following Eggman, exchanging some typical banter.
"Time for some scrambled Eggman!"
"WOULD YOU GIVE THAT JOKE A REST YOU HORRID LITTLE HEDGEHOG!"
"Only if you stop saying that, Egghead!"
"EGGMAN! YOU KNOW MY NAME IS DR. EGGMAN! You do that on purpose."
"Do what, Egghead?"
"Déjà vu…" Tails said. "… Hey, Sonic? Do you even know where we're going?"
"Nah, I stopped listening after he said 'Eggmanland'. STUPID NAME, EGGHEAD!" I yelled to the Egg-phone-whatever-thing. Forgot what he calls his flying car thingamabob.
"SHUT UP HEDGEHOG!"
"MAKE ME!" I taunted. "Slowpoke!"
"Sonic…" Tails said, in that tone that means I'm ignoring something important.
Tails: … You do that a lot.
Mario: Yeah, haha! Remember that one time at the Olympics when…
We agreed never to speak of that! Not my fault someone gave me a chili-dog when the race was starting…
Luigi: You ordered it! With my money!
… Okay, back to the story! So I turned to Tails, and he started explaining Eggman's plan. Eggman was coming to Pi'illo Island because Mario and Luigi were there, and he wanted to beat them so that Bowser might allow him to use his resources to build Eggmanland.
Tails : Not his best plan… Have you two ever even lost?
Mario: Only against superweapons, haha!
Luigi: Yeah, why was he betting on beating us, again?
I honestly have no clue what he was thinking either. Even if he beat you, me and Tails were still comin' to kick his spherical butt thirteen ways back to Station Square.
Tails relayed the rest of Eggman's plan, without all the bragging, embellishing, and general egoism typical to the Eggster. Basic idea? He wanted to harness sleep energy to put us and all our friends to sleep, then trap us in an arena, beat us, and then build his amusement park to take over the world. At least, that's what he said. We all know he's not entirely honest with his plans, and tends to change them at the drop of a hat anyway.
It wasn't long before we were over Pi'illo Island and Eggman got the idea to, well, shoot down the Tornado. Honestly, I don't know WHY he didn't just do it when we were, you know, flying over the ocean when I can't swim. Not that I'm complaining about not drowning, but…
Mario: I can't drown, you know, haha!
Shut up. I'm still faster.
Mario: And I'm still awesomest-er, whee-hee!
That's not even a word! So, Eggman? Shot us down. Again. We crash-landed in those creepy woods – You know, that somlan-whatever place? And… Huh, I guess that's it. What were you two doing, anyway? Surely it was more interesting than us getting lost in the woods.
Luigi: Not really. Peach got kidnapped by a wooden platform and a fire ghost made us do pathetically easy jumping challenges before trying to destroy us… It was pretty boring, really.
Mario: Yeah-ha-hoo, the cool stuff happened after Weegie fell asleep.
Huh. So that's all that happened… Well, okay, then, yeah, you might have a point. Hey, bro? How about you tell this next bit? Share the spotlight a little?
Tails: I dunno, Sonic… What if I say something stupid…
Bud, you're about the most likable, smartest person I know! Trust me, just tell a story!
TAILS
Okay… So, um… people listening… I'm Tails. I'm eight years old, and Sonic's my big brother. Umm… I'm yellow and I've got two tails? Umm… It's the most extreme mutation in recorded history… I'm sorry, I'm not really used to introductions. Or talking to people. I'm much more comfortable building good robots and smashing bad ones…
So, Baldy McNosehair – heh – shot down the Tornado. Again. I wish he'd stop doing that… I mean it's fun to try new things with it, but running around with Sonic's even more fun, you know? And repairing it takes time…
We'd only been in the forest for about a minute before we were hopelessly lost. I offered to fly up and look around, but Sonic said no, what if I hit a beehive or something. I thought it was kind of a stupid thought, but I think Sonic kind of wanted to explore and find his own way out… I guess I can get that, exploring's kind of fun.
Sonic: You got me, bro. I honestly wasn't actually worried about beehives.
Luigi: You should have been. Somnom Woods is CRAWLING with Beehosses.
Yeah, we figured that one out. So… uh… Well, we were walking, when this huge, spiky, walking beehive shows up and attacks us. Did I mention, it was covered in spikes, and I… uh… Forgot to bring any weapons. And I didn't really have the energy to summon a ring bomb right then.
And then more of them showed up. So we were cornered by, like, ten of 'em. That's when Sonic decided, well…
Sonic: I'll quote myself! Bro, this place stinks like Eggbelly's cooking. Let's smash, crash, and bash!
I looked at him like he was crazy and just pulled him into the air and flew him out of the forest.
"Come on! We could've taken' em!" Sonic complained.
"Sonic, I really don't feel like getting impaled by spikes today."
Or ANY day, come to think of it…
Sonic: Yeah, that's all for the robots! My spikes, that is.
Actually, the robots get destroyed by the incredible impulse of kinetic energy generated by an eighty-pound spherical object moving at supersonic speeds. I do the same thing, Sonic, and… I'm… well… kind of soft and fluffy.
Sonic: … I honestly never even tried to figure out how you managed to do that. Huh… I just thought it was some weird magic thing. I guess that doesn't… And Mario's hands are on fire. Never mind.
Mario: Ha-ha! I'm the cat's pajamas!
Luigi: … Stop making that… I'm not even sure it's a joke, actually!
Mario: Mrr-ow!
"Oh, right. Spikes. Yeah, kinda annoying, huh?" Sonic asked me. I nodded, but kept focusing on not falling into the forest below. That… wouldn't have been pleasant, especially since I could smell that we were over some of that poison water.
Soon, we were away from the forest, and came to a landing in front of Pi'illo Castle. We were both hungry, so we went inside to look for some food. Okay, maybe that wasn't the only reason, Sonic guessed we'd find you guys in there somewhere, but we were pretty hungry.
Sonic: And we didn't even find food…
Mario: Ooh! I know what's next, haha! You found something even better! Adventure!
… Honestly, I think we both wanted food more at that point, but a magical rainbow portal above Luigi's head was too weird to ignore. Sonic jumped in without even bothering to ask what it was, and… Well, I followed. No way Sonic wouldn't have gotten into trouble…
Sonic: Hey! Since when do I get into trouble?
…
Sonic: Okay, fair point.
Mario: Okey-dokie, time for us. Luigi, take the stage, ha ha ha!
And there. Another chapter, finally. I've mostly been working on my other story - Timeless Heroes; which is just a Sonic story and does not include Mario characters (though they are mentioned). Personally, I think it's a better story than this one. Or just about all the stories I've written, only Festival of the Sun and Stars (despite its bad title) I feel close to as good about.
Sonic's kind of braggy, and tends to make stupid jokes, and, as you can probably tell, really cares for Tails. And Tails is not so good at talking to people.
... Ape99... You REALLY try my patience with your repeated reviews about fan characters; more than just about anything else I've experienced on this site. Please refrain from mentioning them in your reviews; and if all you can think of involves them, just don't bother reviewing, seeing as I'll delete it anyway. And, just to be perfectly clear: I mean this for ANY review you make on ANY of my stories, EVER. I'll also go through and delete your old reviews that mention fan characters; should you make another review like that after this. Seriously, it's the kind of review I never want to see again.
