Eternal Spirit
Chapter 3
Xena stared blankly out the window beside the bed at the bright shades of color the full moon captivated. The light danced in the crevices of the aged wood of the window frame. She was trying her best to push the thoughts out of her mind. It hurt to think about it and there was nothing she hated more than the feeling of helplessness. Her fingers stroked her partner's hair softly, careful not to wake her. Her eyes trailed the bard's bare skin followed by the light tracing of her finger over the dark wounds that covered Gabrielle's body. Not able to hold back her tears from flowing they flooded silently down the warrior's cheeks. Closing her eyes tightly and letting a strained sigh escape her lips, she remembered what Gabrielle looked like when she and Ephiny had finally found her...
The warriors had searched tirelessly for 5 days and still no sign of Draden or Gabrielle. Neither was ready to give up but both grew more concerned about Gabrielle's safety as time edged on.
The Regent grabbed the horse's reigns and slightly pulled her to a stop. Leaning on her staff she stretched her left leg trying to regain feeling in it. "Xena?" she said looking up at her traveling companion. "Let's stop a while by the stream ahead." motioning forward with a nod of her head. "Argo can use the break as much as you and I can."
"Alright." She stated dryly. Dismounting the horse with ease Xena led the mare to replenish with some cool water. She casually glanced in the direction of the Regent slightly chuckling at her gimping over some rocks. The screeching sound of Ephiny's scream suddenly startled her from her perched position by the edge of the water.
"GABRIELLE!" Ephiny kept screaming in disbelief. Terror had filled her voice. Reaching for Gabrielle's wrist she checked for a pulse. "She is still breathing thank the gods..." Ephiny whispered. She lowered Gabrielle's arm delicately to the ground as Xena approached. "She is still breathing." quieting her voice to a whisper, "barely."
By the Gods... Xena's eyes darted back and forth across the bard's body. Her hand barely covered her mouth in time to stifle the sharp gasp that escaped. What have you done Draden? By the Gods what have you done? Gabrielle's delicate body was vastly thinned and covered with deep bruises. Her clothes, torn and scattered, barely covered her skin. Blood still trailed from the visible whip lashes and open wounds. Her eyes, blackened and swollen, brought the warrior to her knees. Xena forced resolve in her face and softened her voice. "Gabrielle. I know you can hear me. Everything is going to be alright. Keep fighting. Don't give up on me now Gabrielle. Don't give up." Her hand trembled as it swept carefully along the bard's bruised face. "I love you." She whispered hoarsely.
Placing her hand on the warrior's shoulder and giving a light squeeze Ephiny turned towards her friend. "Xena, we need to get her back to the Amazon Village."
Nodding in agreement Xena cleared her throat trying to find her voice. "Ephiny, get a piece of cloth from the saddlebag and wet it in the stream for me please. I want to tend to these open wounds before they get infected. Then we will move her." She knew she had to act quickly.
Xena wiped away the tears that streamed down her cheeks. She knew Gabrielle couldn't have been by the lake more than a few hours or she would have been...dead. Some protector I turned out to be, she mutely berated herself, her eyes never leaving her lover's face. Gabrielle began to tremble in Xena's embrace. She was struggling in her sleep against the invisible threats in her nightmare. Fear invaded her face. She whimpered as if in pain and began thrashing.
"It's alright. You are safe. I've got you now and no one is going to hurt you." Xena kept repeating in a gentle tone. Gabrielle's whimpers reformed into a loud shriek and she jolted awake shaking in Xena's warm embrace. Hot tears trickled down her face making their way to her trembling lips. The warrior immediately reached out for her and wrapped her arms around the shaking bard.
"No! Don't touch me! Leave me alone!" she started screaming, frantically trying to break from Xena's grip. Her green eyes flooded with panic. Xena struggled to keep her arms around her. She tightened her hold slightly around her lover.
"It's alright, it's just me, Xena," calming the bard down. She reassured the bard until she felt her calm down.
Gabrielle nestled into the crook of Xena's neck, tears flowing uncontrollably. "Xena?"she whispered trying to take in her surroundings. She felt so safe in her arms that she feared it was a cruel dream. Am I really here?
"Yes Gabrielle it's me. I am right here with you," Xena replied with a tender tone. Thank the gods she has finally started to speak. Artemis, please give me the strength. Bringing her hand to the bard's forehead she gently brushed the loose strands of her from her face and stroked the side of her face gently. She felt Gabrielle relax into her arms.
"That's it Gabrielle, slow deep breaths. You are safe, it was just a dream," she comforted tenderly.
"Xena?" she spoke just above a whisper.
"Yes love?"
"I feel so safe in your arms. Please...don't go," she pleaded trying to choke back her tears.
"I am right here with you now and always," kissing the bard on her forehead. There was nothing she hated more than helplessness and that is exactly how she felt...helpless. The warrior could feel her relax within her embrace and her arms tight around her waist.
"Where are we Xe?" she questioned.
"The Amazon Village." Xena replied softly.
Gabrielle hesitated slightly. "How long have I been here?"
Xena thought for a moment, "Four days."
"Four days?" she shook her head in confusion. "How could it have been four days Xena?" Without giving the warrior a chance to answer her question she started rambling. "I don't remember anything from the past four days...How did you...How did I…?" she struggled to get her thoughts out without running them all together.
Sensing her lover's confusion she placed her finger across Gabrielle's lips in a hushing motion. "You haven't been completely conscious until now. You were so weak when Ephiny and I found you by the lake just outside the border of Amazon Lands." Her voice broke off when she felt the bard tremble in her embrace. "What is it Gabrielle?" she asked quietly.
"The lake...I remember being there...I thought...I thought I was going to...that I would never get to see you again." She released a deep sigh and tilted her head up towards her warrior. "I remember everything getting hazy and then everything grew dark...They just left me there...Xena," closing her eyes tightly releasing hot salty tears. "I knew somehow you would find me...," her voice trailing to a faint whisper.
"I can only imagine how hard this is for you Gabrielle. I would do anything to take this pain from you. I would bear it a thousand times to save you from it." Stroking her cheeks softly she whispered into her ear, "please talk to me."
"No...please...I can't," Gabrielle interrupted.
Xena trailed her fingertips along the bard's forearm lightly. "I would do anything..."
"You are doing something Xena...believe me…you are." She tightened her grip around her warrior's waist and leaned further into her embrace. She wanted so much to erase it all from her memory. She knew Xena blamed herself for everything that she couldn't protect her from. She always expects to do the impossible and then turns the blame on herself when she fails. She can't protect her loved ones from everyone but that didn't matter. She would blame herself just the same. Xena's rage over Draden would be enough to consume her. She didn't want to think of Xena's dark side embracing her again. Not like this, not because of her. Deep down there was another fear; the fear of her partner not wanting her in the same way anymore. Gods, I don't want to lose her.
Noticing that the bard seemed to go into a daze she softly called out to her. "Gabrielle." Cupping her chin with her hand she tilted her head upwards to meet her gaze. "Do you want to talk about what happened," she questioned with concern.
"I can't. I don't want to think about it right now. Please Xe, just hold me," her emerald eyes challenged the warrior's.
"I am right here with you Gabrielle. It's okay; we will talk when you are ready." Xena closed her eyes pushing back the anger she felt rising to the surface. When I find that bastard I am going to rip him apart. How could... Her thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door. "Come in," she called out and protectively pressed her arms a little tighter around Gabrielle.
Ephiny walked in with a tray of food in her hands. "Gabrielle, you're awake! Thank the Gods!" making her way to her friends' side relieved. "How is she, Xena?" Ephiny asked, looking at her friend with concern in her eyes. Before giving Xena a chance to answer, she sat beside Gabrielle. "Are you doing alright?"
Gabrielle nodded her head slowly and managed a smile. Moving her head brought a wave of nausea over her. It still throbbed tremendously. She hadn't realized just how much her entire body ached until that moment. This feels worse than Tartarus.
"Why don't you try to sit up, ok?" Ephiny glared at Xena for support suggestively raising her brow at the warrior.
"That's not a bad idea Eph, come on Gabrielle let us help you sit up." She smiled down at her and grabbed a hold of her arm securely. "Lean back against the pillows slowly," she cautioned while fluffing the pillows behind the bard.
"It hurts." Gabrielle managed to say between sobs. She felt surges of pain throughout her back and shoulders. Her stomach was sensitive to motion and with every movement, a flood of sharp pain followed. She breathed a shallow sigh of relief once she finally sat up and leaned back against the pillows.
Ephiny's hand caressed her friend's cheek gently. "You have to try to eat something. You need your strength. I am sure that you are famished." she spoke softly trying to get Gabrielle's attention on something else for the moment. She picked up the tray and placed it on Gabrielle's lap. "Try to eat some of this warm broth, ok?" her eyes meeting the green eyes of her friend. Gabrielle nodded slowly and began to swirl the broth with the spoon. Ephiny making contact with the warrior's gaze, motioned towards the door of the hut.
The warrior leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on the bard's forehead. "I'm going to talk to Ephiny just outside the door Gabrielle. I will be back in a few minutes. Just try to eat as much as you can while I am gone ok?" Gabrielle nodded. Now that she thought about it, she was surprisingly hungry. Xena and Ephiny quietly left the room closing the door behind them.
