Thanks to me reviewers for reviewing the last chapter. Now...I know some of you people have this story on your favorites and alerts and don't review. Please, I'm asking you to review for your sake and mine. If no one reviews, I'm going to think no one likes this story and I won't bother to post this up on fanfic anymore. So please...review!
Also I named this chapter 'Release' for a reason. Whoever guesses it will be awarded...Um..I have to think of something. Maybe a sneek peak of the next chapter? Yeah! In my review reply I'll post up the chapter so they could read it sooner! But if I don't get that chapter written in time it'll be the next one.
I'll try to be someone else because you hate the real me. I'll try to pretend I'm not what I am, a demon in human skin. But could I really disguise myself so well? Would you pick me up when I fall, fall farther than I have before? Or would you, like everyone else, leave me to fend for myself? Every soul has a light, but I've lost mine.
I can't hold it in anymore, the wrath inside me had leaked over the top. I was screaming, yelling, and banging my fists on the walls of my cell until I bled. I cried and yelled till my lungs felt like they were going to burst with pain. Again, I felt those overwhelming feelings of anger and hate. And again, I went through my transformation.
I pulled out a kunai and shoved it in between the brick walls of my cell. Then I infused an enormous amount of chakra into it. All the chakra that infused me with anger and hate, I let go of it all. All the hate I felt towards my life, and fate, and even myself. The bricks started to crack and I kept going, I started to feel weak but my sanity had broken a long time ago. The bricks cracked and propelled forward with an ear-shattering noise. I saw citizens of the sand who were walking along the street look at me with horror in their eyes. I hated them all. The citizens started to run and scream and I smiled. I lifted my hand and condensed my chakra into a ball of fire. I threw it at the citizens in hopes of injuring them.
Then, without noticing it, my body was surrounded in sand and I was tied down by it, only my head wasn't being constricted by it. I growled and looked over and saw Gaara standing between the citizens and myself. His hand was held in front of him and his fist was open. He slightly closed it a bit and I screamed. The sand was squeezing my body tighter and tighter. It was harder to breathe. I wheezed but the anger was still in control of me. I released more chakra to put a barrier between the sand and my body. I expanded my chakra's volume and the pressure on my body was lifted. Gaara frowned and closed his hand partway. The sand was trying to squeeze and diminish my barrier but I smiled when he noticed his sand was weaker than my barrier.
"Are you trying to kill me Gaara?" I asked.
"You're a threat to this village. I'll have to kill you if you don't stop."
I laughed, "Isn't that what you are? We both have demons inside of us, killing and breaking us down to be released."
'What am I saying? I don't mean that, I'm not a demon! Hachimata is controlling my body, my feelings. I will not be a puppet to this demon!'
Just when my heart began to pulse with pain, the barrier cracked. The more pain I went through, the more my barrier cracked. The sand was now able to start make it's way into my barrier and break it more. I started to regain control of my body but it was too late, I looked up at Gaara and I tried to show that I was sorry for what I had said. His eyes widened with surprise but my barrier broke and the sand came to crush me.
'I'm sorry….I'm so sorry. All I wanted was a purpose, a way to justify my existence. Maybe I was asking for too much.'
But death did not come to me. I opened my eyes and Gaara was grabbing the side of his head. Just like that day…
"Why did you do that?"
I looked at him and saw the pain and suffering.
"I wanted to regain control of my body."
Gaara stopped grabbing his head and regained his former stability. He turned his back towards me and left. I sat on the ground until some jonins came and took me to another cell. It was just as bad as the other one, dark and desolate. But this time I did not turn angry or bitter. I waited until they decided that I had served my punishment. When they let me out, I had been in that cell for 3 days. The sun was too bright and my eyes couldn't stand the light. The jonin that let me out escorted me to the Kazekage's office. I sat but could not look at him in the face. I was ashamed to have let the demon get the better of my emotions.
"Baki, I assume you will take care of it."
The Kazekage was not speaking to me but rather, the jonin who brought me here. After the Kazekage spoke his sentence, I wondered when he said 'it' whether he was referring to the situation as it or me as a thing because I could no longer be considered human…
Whatever the case was, I was escorted out. I had no where to go so I decided to walk around the market. They hadn't fed me that day and I still had a little money in my pocket that could afford me a small bowl of ramen. As I walked around, I felt incredibly dirty and filthy so I ran to my sister's house to bathe and change.I was glad Miho wasn't there and I was back on the streets of the market in no time. Walking around had lifted my spirits until one woman pointed to me and yelled,
"That's the other demon! She's a monster just like him!"
I looked around at everyone and they all stared at me with fear and hate. The small children ran away from me and hid behind their parents. The adults stood a good distance away from me yelling out other insults. They were mostly telling me to leave and so I complied. I walked away with my head staring at the ground, heading for my sister's home. They despised me, feared me, is this how Gaara feels? When I arrived at what could hardly be called my home, I found a luggage bag with my things outside of the door. I tried the doorknob and it was locked.
I no longer had anything to call a home.
Where should I go? I had no choice but to request an appointment with the Kazekage. Even the secretary gave me a ghastly look. While waiting for the Kazekage, I sat on a chair outside of his office trying to hold back the tears. Before, no one noticed me, now they knew who I was but they hated me. The secretary soon informed me I could speak to the Kazekage. I entered his office and explained my situation then begged. I told him I did not have a home anymore. His answer was worse than I expected. I thought he was going to send me to an orphanage but instead, he told me to stay at his home. He explained that I was to be trained to gain control of the demon inside. I had to agree, again. The mission I was suppose to have before was given to another team because of my incident.
That night I stood in front of the door that led to the Kazekage's home. I knocked on the door and looked down when someone answered. I didn't dare to look at the person in the face.
"I-I'm sorry about everything. The Kazekage told me I could stay in this house from now on."
I could tell it was Temari who answered by the sound of her voice.
"Don't you have your own house to live in?"
"My sister doesn't want me there anymore…I am so sorry about what happened. I never intended…"
"Come in."
I lifted my face and looked at her. She didn't seem to hate me but I could tell Temari didn't entirely trust me either. Nonetheless, I was grateful. I rushed into the room where I had stayed before and didn't sleep that night. I wanted to go up on the roof with Gaara but…I couldn't. I stayed awake thinking what my sister must have felt like knowing I was now a monster. I didn't blame her for throwing me out; I could have endangered her life. No, just by having me in that house is a threat to her life. She wasn't a ninja so she would not have been able to defend herself against me if I got out of control. I raced to the bedroom where I had stayed when I was welcome.
I stayed in there and cried. It hurt so much, to lose the little you had in one day. I lost my dignity, my only family and my only friends. I wish they could understand, I wish they would forgive me and give me another chance. I sobbed into the pillow and drowned myself in my sadness. Tonight, I would let out all my emotions that have been locked up for years. I did not care if anyone heard me; I had the right to cry. After a while, I cleaned myself up so you could not notice that I had been crying.
Then I walked over to Kankuro's room and knocked on his door. I wanted to explain I wanted to be given another chance. He opened his door and froze when he saw me.
"Please forgive me and give me another chance!" I said to him before he could shut the door.
"I want to be given another chance! I never meant to hurt you, I never wanted to. It was the demon, he…he controlled my emotions and I promise to not let him do that to me again. But please…Don't…"
Even though I saw that he wanted to forgive me, I also saw that he was afraid. He closed the door slowly before I could finish. Then I finished what I was going to say to myself,
"Don't leave me alone…"
I looked at the floor and let a tear slip and fall. I turned to head back to my room, it was worth a chance. Then I saw Gaara in the hallway look at me. I was broken and hurt and I wasn't thinking when I said,
"Are you going to shun me as well?"
At first Gaara didn't respond. He just stared at me. Then he opened his mouth to utter,
"I'm already shunned."
I had forgotten that. I tried to apologize as quickly as I could, how could I be so insensitive?
"I am so sorry! I didn't mean to hurt you in any way."
"It wouldn't make a difference."
I looked at him; he was in my same situation. He was alone, and despised by everyone else because of the demon inside of him.
"I…don't think you're a demon, or a monster."
He looked surprised at my opinion. Like he had never heard those words before and as I thought about it, neither have I. But Gaara just stared at me, puzzled. Maybe he didn't know what to say in a situation like this. I looked at him, wondering how…
"How…do you stand it? The pain, the suffering, the lost…how? I…I just don't know how…" I said through the tears on my face. I covered my face with my hands and cried while softly asking how.
"I can't."
I fell to my knees and let my tears fall freely. I didn't want to stand it anymore. I heard a door open and Kankuro's voice said,
"What did you do Gaara?"
"Nothing, she is in great pain, that's all."
Kankuro kneeled down next to me and said,
"It's okay Nozomi. You can stop crying. I forgive you, I was just afraid, that's all."
I looked at him,
"You forgive me?"
"Yes, I forgive you."
And then I hugged him. I was forgiven for being a monster, I was forgiven for being neglected by the only family I had, and I was forgiven for my desire to become something. I had felt so happy to be alive because I was forgiven.
When you take a guess why you have to name three things.
Release of
Release of
and Release of
Two of the things are physical and one is an abtract noun. I'm sorry if this is confusing and if it is in you review saying you're confused I'll review reply and try to explain it.
