Having returned to the hotel, Veronica walked off the elevator when the doors opened. Logan pulled her back into his arms to resume the kissing that had been occurring all evening. Typical Logan, he spun her round and round as they stumbled down the hall toward their room, lips locked together, tongues dueling. Somehow without breaking the kiss, Veronica managed to get the key card out of her back pocket and into the door to open it with a soft click.
Logan pushed the door closed with his foot while maneuvering them to the closest bed. The only light in the room was coming from the desk lamp which they had left on before going to dinner.
When the back of Veronica's legs felt the mattress, she started to sit. Logan willingly followed every plane of her body. She wiggled her way up the bed with him crawling on top of her. When she positioned her head on the pillows, Logan settled himself above her, careful to keep his weight as much off her smaller frame as he could while still maintaining maximum contact. Veronica freely opened her legs to let him nestle in between.
As long as they both kept their pants on, she was safe. They'd been here before, last summer - plenty of steamy make out sessions in the back of the X-terra, in her apartment when her dad wasn't home, on the couch at the office, at the beach and anyplace else Logan could get his hands and mouth on her. Second base was a nice place - lots of touching, caresses and longing. When Logan touched her, she was on fire.
Even though she wasn't a virgin anymore, and technically wasn't last summer, Veronica's head was still spinning. Logan hadn't pushed her, at least not very hard. Maybe he'd nudged her, but he knew after everything she'd found out about her rape that she hadn't been ready for sexual intercourse.
But here and now, alone together on a bed in a hotel room in New York City 3,000 miles away from everyone they knew, including her father, Veronica realized that things were different. Logan was aware that she and Duncan had been sexually active. Of course he knew. He was in the bedroom right next door. While Veronica and Duncan weren't all that fervent or vocal, thanks to some thin walls Veronica also knew exactly what Logan sounded like when he had sex – loud, passionate, unbridled – and it scared her. Even now as the world seemed to have faded away and she was spinning out of control on pure pleasure, she could still hear his voice telling her that if the cuddling was the best part, that she was doing it wrong. However, what that same guy was doing to her now was making it very difficult for her to think, let alone think clearly or rationally.
Logan's mouth was soft but insistent. His tongue explored every crevice of her mouth which she readily surrendered to him. She'd never felt anything like it when he slid his tongue between her teeth and lips licking the roof her mouth. Her upper body shuddered with pleasure as they smiled into each other. She tried to duplicate his actions and was quite proud herself when he moaned. Although she'd heard some of his noises before, they were so much better now that she was causing them.
Despite her nervousness, Veronica was not a passive participant in this glorious make-out session. There was something very freeing about knowing the only parental unit was on the other side of the country. She'd pushed Logan's button down shirt off and was pulling his t-shirt over his head to give her unrestricted access to run her hands everywhere on his spectacular torso. Logan had a great torso – muscular arms, cut but not overly sculpted like those muscle heads in Santa Monica and a noticable six pack. His pecks were well defined, with his cinnamon colored nipples focusing her attention. She loved how they pebbled between her thumb and forefinger, getting so hard she thought they'd shred her palms as she planed her hands over him. Brazenly she reached up to suck one into her mouth teasing it into an even tighter bud with her tongue. Logan whimpered in ecstasy under her unskilled touch.
Logan's hands weren't still. Splayed out over her tiny frame his large hands practically covered her entire side. It was as if he was memorizing her through the sense of touch. He settled one hand on a breast and massaged gently using his size to knead the pliant flesh through her minimally padded bra. She sighed and wriggled appreciatively scrapping her nails along his bare back as the concentric circles he made get smaller and smaller focusing on her budded nipple
This was the first time they had ever been alone together in an actual bed with no curfews or the possibility of interruption. The freedom was heady, but both were aware that they were on a precipice. After this trip nothing would be the same.
As much as Logan wanted to rip all their clothes off and fill her with everything he had, he still loved her too much to push. He knew as surely as he knew he own name that this trip to New York was a new beginning for them and he was content to let her set the pace. Since her hands hadn't gone below his waist, he chastely tried kept his above her belt line but Veronica wasn't making it easy as she wiggled luxuriously under him, grinding their loins together in a delicious though madding friction.
When Veronica had pulled his shirt off to reveal his bare chest, Logan hoped she wasn't going to stop but she did. Her fingers never came anywhere near the zipper of his pants. He let her have her fun. He loved the fact that she was boldly exploring him, at least the upper half of him. Her hands felt so small, soft and delicate the way they couldn't wrap all the way around his biceps and only covered about one-tenth of his torso.
As much as Logan was enjoying the reactions he was causing in Veronica through her clothes, he craved skin on skin contact. Slowly, very deliberately the way one would approach a terrified kitten, Logan slid his hand from her breast down her trunk, skimming her ribs and down the soft cotton of her t-shirt which had ridden up about an inch exposing the soft skin above her low rise jeans.
When Logan's hands made contact with her bare skin Veronica sucked in her breath. In her mind she was repeating her mantra – I trust him. I love him. This will be OK. I trust him. I love him. This will be OK.
When she moaned and arched up into him, Logan took that as permission to snake his hand under her shirt and bra repeating his ministrations on the actual flesh of the other breast.
Well aware that she had frozen and stopped moving her own hands, Logan was waiting for Veronica to tell him to stop. Surprisingly she didn't. Afraid of scaring her, Logan reached his long arm all the way down her leg and massaged his way up again. His fingers grazed her outer thigh, the palm of his hand pressed along her inner thigh. Beneath him Veronica was moaning into his mouth, keeping up with his tongue and beginning to rhythmically thrust her hips in time to his ministrations. She'd even resumed exploring his upper body with her own hands.
Veronica slid her hands over Logan's butt that was pumping gently on top of her. The muscles were firm under the soft fabric of his cargo pants. Hesitantly, she slipped her hands into the gap at his low back allowing her fingers to play at the waistband of his silk boxers.
Interpreting her actions as permission for him to explore more, Logan cupped her through her jeans using the seam of the fabric to hit her in just that perfect spot. She broke their kissed to suck air deeply into her lungs and mewl compliantly under his caresses.
Skillfully Logan flicked open the button on Veronica's jeans but before he could snake a finger inside Veronica pushed him off her and sat up.
"Did I hurt you?" Logan asked clearly concerned at her abrupt movement.
Veronica didn't know how to explain what she was feeling. "This. . . I don't know. I mean we haven't even talked about anything, everything. . . "
Like any teenaged boy, Logan was exasperated. He was hot and bothered and horny. He was also jet lagged and feeling the effects of the wine from dinner, but knew better than to force her. With another girl, he may have tried coaxing or cajoling. It wasn't that difficult to make most girls putty in his hands but this wasn't just any girl. This was Veronica. He let out a deep breath and tried not to act too frustrated. "It's okay. We don't have to."
Now Veronica was exasperated. "It's not that I don't want . . . "
Logan had rolled onto his side and was tracing small patterns on her stomach while nibbling on her neck. "Good. 'Cause if you couldn't tell, I wanna."
"Logan!" Veronica yelped pushing him away but secretly pleased that he seemed so eager.
"Talk to me," Logan urged. "I'll be good." Although he stopped nuzzling her neck, he continued to draw his hands sensually over her stomach and part way under her shirt.
Veronica reached up to readjust her bra from where he had bunched it uncomfortably over her breasts.
"Just take it off," Logan suggested.
Regarding him cautiously, Veronica had to admit it was a practical solution. Bras were never her favorite things and it wasn't like she had an awful lot to stuff into it. Sitting up, she reached behind her back to undo the hooks, and then pulled down the straps before sliding the offending garment out the armhole opposite from Logan who chuckled at her contortions. "I never understand how girls do that."
As Veronica laid back down, Logan took the opportunity to fondle one of her pert breasts. She was clearly aroused because her nipples were practically poking through the material of her thin shirt although it was far from cold in the small room.
Her eyes fluttered at the sensations coursing through her, but Veronica only allowed herself to enjoy them for a moment before moving Logan's hand back to a more G-rated area of her body. "That wasn't an invitation." Rolling to look at him, Veronica stroked her small hand across his handsome face.
"I'm not going to force you, you know," Logan tried to reassure her.
"I know that. If I didn't, you wouldn't be here."
"I lo. . . " he started, but stopped because looking at her face he knew she wasn't ready to hear that. "Veronica, I care about you and this would just be one expression of how much." His eyes were almost sad. He wasn't begging her for sex but part of him was begging her to understand how much she meant to him and how much he wanted to make love to her.
"It's just. . . "
"It's too soon. You're not ready," Logan incorrectly finished her sentence for her.
"No," Veronica replied trying to explain.
"Then what's the problem?" Logan didn't understand.
"I want to . . . " Logan started to cut her off again. "No, please let me explain." When she got out of bed, he sat up and gestured silently to indicate that the floor was all hers and he wouldn't interrupt her.
"You're . . . I'm . . . . " Veronica turned around trying to find the words. She looked back at him, then dropped her eyes to the floor. "I don't want to disappoint you," she mumbled in a barely audible whisper.
If Logan hadn't been hanging on her every word, he would not have heard what she said. Relieved that it was something so endearing, he reached out to wrap his arms around her and dragged her to sit across his lap. During this discussion his body had calmed enough that it was no longer painful for him to sit wearing clothes although he had unsnapped his pants for a bit more breathing room. Supporting her with one hand, Logan caressed her angelic, embarrassed face with the other. "You could never disappoint me."
Veronica thought he was patronizing her. "You're . . . well . . . to put it bluntly, you're so much more . . .experienced than I am."
"Are you calling me a man-slut?" Logan teased.
"If the condom fits," Veronica deadpanned.
"Are you worried about disease?" Logan asked seriously. "'Cause I always suit up and I get tested."
Blushing, Veronica replied, "I actually hadn't thought about disease." Although she was embarrassed, she also knew she had to continue. "But you know I had Chlamydia last year."
Logan didn't say anything but the question was all over his face.
"That's how I knew Beav- Cassidy. . did what he did. He got it from Woody and he gave it to me."
All this information had come out during his dad's trial. The defense attorneys used it to discredit her by trying to make her look like a slut who would do anything for her boyfriends. Even though Logan knew Veronica was virtuous, despite the rumors he'd spread, they'd never discussed how the trial affected her. He didn't know what to do or say so he just hugged her tighter. "But you're okay now? There's no danger."
"Yeah, antibiotics work wonders"
Rocking her back and forth, Logan maneuvered them both back up the bed and settled her at his side. "It's okay," he mumbled not knowing what else to say or do. "Thank you for telling me."
Veronica blinked her eyes to hold back a few unshed tears. Even after more than two years it was still difficult for her to think about that night without getting emotional.
"I'm not disappointed," Logan assured her. "It wasn't anything you did."
"I know but that's not really it," Veronica resumed the earlier thread of their conversation.
"You couldn't disappoint me. Do you have any idea how amazed I am that I'm even here, alone, on a bed with you, kissing you, now? It's enough. We'll go at your pace."
Veronica smiled gratefully at Logan. He really was a sweet talker but that was part of the problem. He had the perfect words for everything. She didn't.
"C'mon, Logan. You were with Lilly, the wild child. You've spent your life having beautiful women throw themselves at you. For heaven's sake, you bedded your friends' mother . . . "
"Step-mother. . .young trophy wife," Logan corrected reflexively.
"Professional cheerleader. . . an adult. You kept a grown woman coming back for more," Veronica practically wailed. The pain of finding Logan with Kendall the morning after his declarations about their 'epic' love the night before at the Alterna-Prom was still relatively fresh in her mending heart. "I can't compete with that," she finished dejectedly casting her eyes down at her tomboyish body which was more angular then feminine and curvy.
Logan finally understood the source of her anxiety and reluctance. He was relieved that she was not trying to be a squeamish virgin but sad that in this one area, unlike the rest of her life, she had become so insecure. She wasn't this reticent last year. She'd kissed him first. Their make-out sessions in the girls' bathroom always left him needing a cold shower. In the pool house before she ran away after that stupid fake birthday party, she'd straddled him then made herself comfortable in the middle of the bed while he went in search of the key to the liquor cabinet. Even before the window of his X-terra had been shot out, she pulled him back down into a hot kiss by-passing his desire to have a serious talk about his feelings. None of those actions indicated that she lacked confidence. Tilting her chin up to force Veronica to look him in the eye Logan declared, "I don't want to talk about anybody who may have shared my bed in the past. None of them shared my heart."
"Lilly did."
"No, she didn't. I offered it to her, but she didn't take it. Besides, you have to know that while I may have loved Lilly, Lilly loved guys."
"Didn't we already have this conversation?" Veronica kidded, trying to lighten the damper she'd put on the mood.
Logan pressed a sweet kiss to Veronica's forehead, "I'm glad you remember. She was my past. You are my present and my future."
That pronouncement earned Logan a deep kiss from the blonde in his arms. When Veronica tried to push Logan over onto his back, he remained where he was and broke the kiss. "We're not going any further until you understand I'm right where I want to be – here with you - and I think you are one of the sexiest women in the world."
Veronica scrunched up her face, communicating that she didn't believe him.
"Anyone can buy big boobs, Ronnie, but few women can stand up to me the way you did, the way you do. That's sexy. You actually have no idea how much of a turn on that is," Logan explained. "It's not your cup size that makes me want you; it's that you're you." He caressed her breasts for emphasis, "Besides anything more than a mouthful is a waste." He mouthed the other boob through her shirt.
Blushing but flattered, Veronica still tried to protest," But. . . "
"But nothing . . . although yours is awfully cute." Again, Logan emphasized his words by touching the body part being discussed causing Veronica to giggle. Logan was disappointed that she didn't touch him back in the same way.
"You said it yourself, Logan. If cuddling is the best part, then you're doing it wrong."
It took a minute for Logan to remember that conversation. He'd run into Veronica doing the proverbial walk of shame out of Duncan's suite one morning after he'd spent a boisterous night with Kendall. "Oh God. I was so jealous. I would have said anything right then just to get the idea of you and Duncan out of my head."
Veronica didn't know what to say about that admission. Nevertheless, she had to explain. "But all you had to go on was your imagination. I heard what you were doing that night and on a few more," Veronica confessed that she and Duncan had heard some of Logan's sexual escapades. "I can't compare with that."
Logan was secretly pleased that Veronica had heard him. At the time, he wanted her to hear him. He needed her to compare what she and Duncan were doing to what he was doing and he hoped she'd realize she made the wrong choice. "First of all, I don't need or want you to be anyone else. Second, I what I said was 'if cuddling's the best part, he's doing it wrong', not you." [A/N: I know he actually said "you're" doing it wrong, but this is my FF & I can engage in a bit of revisionist history to suit my story ;) ]
Veronica still looked skeptical.
"I don't know what happened to make you all skittish. You weren't this reluctant last summer when you . . . well, frankly, when you had less experience than you do now so I'm still not really sure where this is coming from." Logan tried to make sense of Veronica's fears. "Why do you think I nicknamed you Bobcat?" Veronica giggled and he continued. "You're the most fearless person I know in every other area of your life, why not this one?"
"Because. . . " her voice trailed off.
"Because what?"
"Because," she hesitated before plunging forward. "Because this is . . . sex . . . and you're going to be disappointed."
Logan tried a new tactic. "Did I sound or act disappointed before?"
"No," Veronica admitted.
"Couldn't you tell how happy I was to be with you?"
"You were . . . something," Veronica joked, "If the kids are calling that 'happy', okay, I can go with happy."
"Fine, we'll get clinical . . .aroused, . . . hard, . . . so fucking turned on it was practically killing me. Disappointed doesn't come into that equation anywhere."
"And now?"
"Gettin' there." He rocked his hips so his returning erection could be felt on her thigh. "You angling to turn my balls the same color as my shorts again?"
Veronica ducked her head, "Sorry."
"Don't be," Logan assured her he was fine before claiming her mouth with his and rolling back on top of her to resume their make out session. After a few moments of kissing, Logan flipped them over so Veronica was astride him. He allowed her to set the pace and was pleased when she settled herself over his erection.
Now that her hands were free, Logan used this position to ease her shirt off. Veronica sat up and raised her arms above her head allowing him to completely remove her top. When the garment passed her eyes, she could see the lust in his as he stared at her exposed breasts. She was so self-conscious under his admiration; blushing Veronica started to cross her arms in front of her chest.
Logan wouldn't let her cover herself from him. "Beautiful," he muttered using both hands to play with the delicate globes before him. Sitting up slightly, he latched onto a dusky nipple then used his mouth to urge Veronica back down before flipping them over so she was once again under him. He rose up to kiss her and his chest stroked the aroused buds.
The sensation of skin on skin caused her breathily to cry out, "Logan."
He trailed kissed along her jaw, gently suckling that spot on her neck that made her squeal in delight. As he continued to kiss his way down her body he stripped his own pants off because he was feeling uncomfortably restrained. He could breathe and move better in only his boxers.
When his mouth reached Veronica's belly button, Logan looked up to meet her eyes, as he unzipped her jeans. In silent acquiescence to his unspoken request, Veronica raised her hips off the bed to allow him to slide her jeans off. He had to break body contact to pull them fully off her legs. From that position Logan took a moment to visually appreciate the beautiful vision stretched out before him clad only in white panties. He'd seen more expensive lingerie in his eighteen plus years than most men see in a lifetime but those simple cotton panties were the sexiest things he'd ever seen. "You're absolutely gorgeous."
Kissing his way back up her legs, Logan was proud of himself each time he made Veronica shiver. Reaching the apex of her thighs, he brushed his nose along her mound relishing the intoxicating aroma that was her arousal.
As he tugged off the damp material, Veronica began to protest, "Logan."
He ignored her. "Shhhhh. This is all about you."
His oral assault was amazing. Slow then fast. Outside. Then inside. It only took a few moments before Veronica shocked herself by making some of those very noises she'd heard on the other sides of the walls. Between his mouth and his fingers Veronica's senses were on overload. Clutching at his head and the spread, it was all Veronica could do to keep herself from bouncing off the bed. She'd never experienced anything like this before. "Oh God!" and "Logan!" she cried repeatedly as he brought her to her first real orgasm.
When the last shudders stopped and her muscle contractions ceased, Logan withdrew his fingers and cleaned them with his own tongue savoring the remainder of her taste. Veronica's blue eyes had darkened into stormy fury during her climax but Logan couldn't help but preen knowing she was watching him. Wiping his mouth, he crawled up her body to nestle her into his arms before kissing her.
"Wow," was all Veronica managed when the power of speech started to return. She was so blissed out. It took a few minutes for her to register his erection pressed against her thigh.
Tentatively Veronica reached down and began to stroke him though the fabric of his boxers. Since he was taller than her, she couldn't really reach. He squirmed upwards while she scooted down. "Let me give you hand," Veronica offered sliding her fingers into the opening to take him in hand for the first time.
He groaned at the skin to skin contact and marveled at how small her hands felt against his length. "Veronica!" Her quip had served to relax him; if she could joke, then her true, playful and fearless personality was coming out. The shy virgin she had been before Lilly died wasn't the woman who captured his heart.
The increasing pace of her strokes pulled Logan out if his reverie and into the situation. Although Veronica was trying to roll onto her back and pull him with her, Logan actually preferred this for now. He knew he was too primed to last long inside what he was sure would be her tight body. He needed this first release now if he had any hope of pleasuring her when they finally consummated their relationship. When she tugged a little harder, Logan declined, "Tonight was all about you. This is fine."
Knowing he was serious, Veronica tightened her grip and increased her pace until Logan exploded in the space between them, ruining his shorts. As he slid the wet material off his body, Veronica hopped out of bed to grab a hand towel from the bathroom to clean him up.
While Veronica returned the soiled towel to the bathroom, Logan turned back the covers on the bed and slid inside. "Grab the pillows off that bed," he instructed.
"And what makes you think I'm gonna sleep with you?" Veronica taunted.
Logan pretended to think about it, before replying, "Because I just gave you a mind blowing orgasm. The least you could do is let me hold you for the rest of the night."
Veronica couldn't argue with his logic. She turned out the desk light because it was closer but that made the room too dark so Logan switched on the harsh bedside lamp to enable Veronica to walk across the unfamiliar room. She tossed him the pillows and climbed into bed. Once they found their perfect fit, the almost lovers were soon fast asleep.
