"My dad.." mumbled Dana, her tongue poking out and a vein throbbing in concentration. She was sitting at the kitchen counter, struggling over an English assignment. It was titled "My Dad" and she was having some issues. For all she knew, her dad could be some hobo. Wouldn't that make the greatest essay ever?
"My dad...my dad...my dad. Regular guy? Or box-dwelling hobo?" she wrote, then instantly rubbed it out furiously.
Jude came in from her shift at the corner shop and looked amusingly at her daughter's paper.
"My dad?" she asked. "Is there anything these teachers don't ask you to write about?"
"Probably not," replied Dana. "I had to write about my loose tooth last week, and how Jamie pulled it out."
"Jamie pulled it out? Gross! I assign a babysitter to supervise you, not assist you in your evil doing."
"Nice!" said Dana. "So...my dad. Was he a hobo? It...was a he- right?"
"Yes!" said Jude quickly. "Umm... can't you describe your mom instead?"
"No, that was last month. So...Dad. Describe!"
Jude frowned awkwardly. How was she going to get out of this one? She couldn't just say he was her producer and a very huge mistake...
"I met him at...school. He was tall, blonde hair...blue eyes...a regular Prince Charming," invented Jude. It amazed her how the lies just slipped off her tongue. "We were the most popular kids in school. Homecoming couple...class and vice presidents...we were it!"
Dana's eyes nearly popped out of her head. "Class prez?" she asked. "Never saw you as a leading figure, myself. His name?"
"Hm...Sam...Floyd," said Jude slowly, remembering an old teacher. It could work...
"Ok. Thanks Mom. I'll search him up on Google, I need a picture." And before Jude could stop her, she was out of the room, and on a mission.
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"Mom! You bonked my headmaster?"
Dana came charging in, essay in one hand, apple in another, looking furious.
"Mouth!" shouted Jude, then added-"Sam Floyd's your headmaster?"
"Yes! And now everyone thinks my dad is Floydy pants. Is he?"
"NO!"
"Why did you say it then?" asked Dana.
"Because...he's not real. Your dad...isn't the greatest guy in the world, Dan."
"Who is it?"
"Don't freak. You remember that cheesy '90s band we saw on Kerrang? Boyz Attack?"
"Yeah..."
"You know Tom Quincey..."
"My dad is Little Tommy Q! I'll take Floydypants anyday. My dad is Little Tommy Q, the most cheesiest and creepiest guy in all music? Mom, how could you do this?"
