Chapter 3. Kismet
APOV
We ate a fabulous lunch and dinner, and in between we watched Christian and Elliot try and impress us with their billiards acumen and had a tour of Escala. Christian's library is full of first editions, my god if I lived here I would never leave that room! Later in the evening Christian's sister Mia dropped by with her date Brice to hang out with us for a bit, she is such a sweet, bubbly girl. I think Christian and Elliot love giving her dates a hard time, it's clear that the three of them are very close. I had a glass of Shiraz, since I refuse to take any more pain meds, I first checked with Dr. Grey to make sure it was okay of course.
Kate and Elliot were hammered by the time Mia left. They both stumbled off to the room where Kate is staying and when I peeked in on them they were both laying on top of the duvet fully clothed. Just say no guys! They're so cute together. I get changed into my pajamas and go to find Christian. He's just coming out of his office and we decide to have cocoa in the TV room and watch a movie. I can't really use my hands so I Christian makes the cocoa, it's very clear he's not at home in the kitchen. He's so cute, and luckily we have the instant kind. He's wearing drawstring pajama pants and a white tee, his hair is kind of a mess like he's been running his hands through it. I bet it's soft, I want to put my hands in it. Shit, my hands.
We decide to watch Gattica, it's a favorite of mine and Christian had never seen it, I'm thrilled he let me pick the movie. There are several seats and a huge sectional sofa in the TV room and a huge flat screen. I order the pay per view while Christian sets up the kettle corn and cocoa on the coffee table ottoman. I sit close to Christian on the sofa and even though for the most part I'm watching the movie about a quarter of the way through it I can tell he's not watching the movie at all, he's watching me. I turn to face him and before I know it he's pulled me onto his lap and we're kissing. Our kisses are very passionate, it's as if we're both trying to express how we feel with our mouths and tongues, well I know I am. I can feel his need for me radiate to my core, I rest my arms on his shoulders and twirl fingers of my least injured hand in his curly locks, I tug on his hair and he moans. Oh my gawd what is happening to my body! Christian lays me back on the sofa and shifts his body so that he's lying next to me, we never stop kissing as we're shifting on the sofa. I have no idea what to do with my hands, it feels so weird, I want to grab hold of him, but I know I could injure myself. Christian's one hand is on my thigh which he caresses while his other arm is sort of encircling my head as his hand almost mindlessly strokes my hair.
We alternate between kissing and kind of watching the movie for quite some time. Once the movie is over we turn on an infomercial, it seems we're both suckers for the famous "…but wait that's not all speil…" Christian is hilarious! I learn that we both wake up sometimes in the middle of the night and watch infomercials consumed by our need for the latest gadget. Like the time I bought a multi-purpose mop and the time he got a set of glue guns.
Christian dropped out of Harvard after his first year to start GEH, using money from a trust even though his dad was reluctant to grant him access to it, given his disappointment with him dropping out of college. Christian had presented his father with a stellar business plan, he relented and the rest is history. He revealed sometimes feeling a little insecure about the lack of a degree or perhaps it's just about not finishing what he started, Christian Grey is no quitter.
Grace and Carrick Grey sound like incredible parents, they adopted all three of their children, and have been married for over thirty years. Christian was adopted after he was treated by Grace after his birth mother died of a drug overdose. He was badly neglected and although he didn't go into the details, the pain in his eyes tells me there is so much more to that story.
My biological father died when I was a baby and my mother remarried Raymond Steele when I was about two. He adopted me and was a fantastic father, when I was about fourteen, my mother left the family. I have received a Christmas card here and there along with the occasional phone call, but I haven't spoken to her in years. When I contacted her after my father Ray died in a car crash almost three years ago she was too busy to attend his funeral; both Ray's parents and my mom's parents are deceased. Carla never wanted any children to begin with so I have no siblings.
I met Kate when I enrolled in UW and we became friends, she's really my only family now.
Christian has never been in a relationship. What does that even mean? He stated that relationships were not a part of his lifestyle in the past. I'm sure he'll elaborate at some point. Since we were sharing quirky love life stories, I tell Christian that while I've dated some, I've never had a boyfriend, and I share with him that I am a virgin. He immediately sweeps me into his arms and holds me close to him, I can feel his heart racing.
"Oh baby, when I think about what that animal tried to do to you—"
"He didn't! - I fought him with everything I had" I say tearing up. "I'm going to be okay Christian, I have no doubt that I'm safe now, if I think about what could have happened I don't think I'll be able to move forward. I've decided to just live, I mean really live and to be happy."
"Ana you're an amazing woman."
I change the conversation, I need to know what we're doing here, I really don't want to learn too late that I'm not really in a relationship, I'm kind of new to this so I think a direct approach is best. "Tell me something Christian, you said you've never been in a relationship. What do you want to happen between us?" His answer is immediate and takes my breath away.
"I want a relationship with you Ana. I want to be with you, I hope I'm building that with you now, is that something you want too?"
"Yes." I respond and he answers my declaration with the most gorgeous panty wetting smile I've ever seen. I swallow…hard.
"I've never experienced anything like the feelings I have for you Christian, I feel like I could do anything with you in my life." I take a deep breath.
"I feel the same way, but I have to warn you Ana I have a past and I'm in the process of changing just about everything in my personal life and you are a large part of that for me." He takes a deep, thoughtful breath and continues. "I participated in a BDSM lifestyle for over ten years now, I was introduced to it at the age of fifteen by an adult my family trusted. I was a very troubled teen with a lot of issues and she used that to her advantage to both seduce and indoctrinate me, and that has been my life. I haven't connected with anyone on an emotional level and I have never had a "relationship" that lasted more than six months. The lifestyle satisfied both my need for control and my feelings of anger and inadequacy. I have not had an arrangement now for a little over four months, but for the past year I had become less and less interested in those types of arrangements, they had become my normal, but I was just going through the motions. Now I want a true connection and not just in my love life I want it with my family as well. The secrecy and shame I felt was preventing me from being close to my family, I have never been open and trusting and I am working on that as well. I want intimacy and a closeness I can be proud of." He exhales and stares blankly at me.
"I think I understand that actually." I say and he looks at me warily. "What's wrong?"
"I guess I was expecting…judgment, I mean Ana you've never even had sex and I've just told you I've had a very…colorful sex life to say the least and you don't even blink really, I'm just kind of blown by your reaction."
"First of all Christian, the fact that I've never had sex is part of the reason I have no thoughts of judgment. What on earth would I compare it to, what's normal anyway? I have ZERO frame of reference here; secondly I am an educated woman who understands that the world is a much larger place than the four walls of my apartment. And believe it or not I took a class on alternative lifestyles and BDSM was part of the curriculum, I found it fascinating but not interesting, I don't know that it would be for me, but to each his own. Don't over think it Christian, what's funny is you were the one judging me, you just assumed I would be closed minded, I'm not. I don't really have an issue with what consenting adults do behind closed doors" I shrug my shoulders.
He's just staring at me. "Ana, I never thought I could feel this comfortable with anyone."
"Me neither Christian, I don't go around revealing my chaste status either, it's trippy…right?" I yawn, having no idea how long we've been talking and kissing and kissing and talking.
"Baby let me get you to bed, I know it's the first time we've been alone for any length of time, but you must be exhausted."
"Okay that one snuck up on me, sorry." I giggle a little embarrassed. Christian shuts off the TV and we leave the TV room. He starts to walk me toward my room and I stop him in the great room. "Where is your room?" He appears stunned and swallows hard.
"It's right down the hallway."
"I don't want to be alone Christian, if that's okay."
Without another word he takes me by the wrist and leads me to his bedroom. Christian's room is opulence personified, he has floor to ceiling windows and the view is magnificent. Once he's shown me where the bathroom is and pulls back the covers for us, I ask him to set the alarm so we can watch the sunrise. He smiles at me and sets the alarm.
We climb into bed, briefly kiss goodnight and we hold each other and in no time I drift off to sleep.
CPOV
I'm used to waking before my alarm clock, and while I love the view of the skyline from my bedroom, the view on my pillow this morning is the most spectacular I've ever seen. I have never slept with a woman before, no woman other than my mother and sister has ever seen my bedroom before, in just a little while the sun will be up. I feel changed. I slip out of bed and move the oversized chaise lounge in front of my bedroom windows, I add a few throw pillows and a cashmere blanket. I open the mini fridge in my room and grab a couple of bottles of water. I gently wake Ana and tell her the sun is about to come up, she stirs a little and tells me she has to pee. She's so fucking cute! I tell her I'll be by the windows when she's done.
Ana joins me on the chaise and I spread the blanket over us. I kiss her forehead as she turns on her side and wraps her arms around my waist, snuggling close to me. We're both silent, just lying there holding each other, perfect. The sky is purple and pink this morning with a bit of azure peeking through, seeing it through Ana's eyes for the first time makes me feel peaceful. She is in awe and so am I…of her.
We wake to knocking on my bedroom door and find Kate and Elliot on the other side. It's after ten in the morning and they have been out and picked up breakfast. We join them at the kitchen bar both of us starving at this point; I can't ever recall sleeping this late or this peacefully.
"Yes, I love Barlow's, it's my favorite breakfast deli. I'm surprised you two are up and about so early this morning."
"It's after ten Christian, I was surprised you didn't wake me up for a run, we've been up for a couple of hours, I had to convince Kate that Ana wasn't missing, when she wasn't in her bed."
I turn and wink at Ana, these two are so funny but we don't take the bait.
"We did wake up at dawn to watch the sunrise, but we must have fallen asleep again" Ana shares casually. "It was beautiful, the sky was purple and pink."
I walk behind Ana and take her in my arms, lean in and kiss her hair. She crosses her arms on top of mine and leans her head toward my shoulder. I could hold her in my arms all day, it's like she was made for me to hold. Damn Grey, corny much? After the sunrise, Ana asked if I could help her with her wounds today, she will have to rely on me since Kate will be returning home after Sunday night, so I want to get the hang of it. Keep telling yourself that Grey.
After Ana has showered she dons a sports bra and lounge pants, Kate calls me to meet them in the bathroom to clean and dress Ana's wounds. I haven't seen her without bandages and a part of me is afraid, I don't want to show the sadness and anger I will certainly feel; I steel myself as I enter the bathroom. Dr. Dubrow has done a masterful job on Ana's hands and stomach, the remnants of the scars look almost like welts on her delicate skin. She's standing in front of me and in a moment of sheer magnetic attraction or maybe distraction I lean forward and kiss her two stab wounds; I don't think about what I'm doing until I hear Kate gasp at the boldness of my intimate act, I've always been so reserved, but I literally could not help myself, and I didn't care if Kate witnessed it. I pre-read the instructions so I cleansed the area with the peroxide solution, I blew on the area to dry her and then using sterile pads applied the prescription ointment to her scars, she put on a loose fitting breathable cotton undershirt and her top matching her lounge pants; I repeat the process on her neck wound and wrap it in the pink gauze Kate found on her drugstore run. The wounds on Ana's hands, were more tricky and though I'm pleased she has full movement I can tell there's still some pain there; again the surgeon did an amazing job and it looks as though her hands are covered in welts as well. I will never see welts as sexy again; I repeat the same process being careful with her left hand, then cover her hands in a light gauze dressing. Finally I check her temperature and she's right on track at 98.6, that's my girl.
"Well, I think you're in good hands with Dr. Grey here Steele." Kate says as Ana blushes a bright pink. "I think you're right" she breathes.
We decide to watch a movie and this time Ana picks Lucky Number Slevin, another movie I've never heard of that turned out to be kind of awesome actually, I really need to get to the movies more. We decide on an oldie after that, Risky Business, but the four of us were like teenagers making out at a drive thru so it may as well have been QVC.
A/N: This chapter is much shorter than the first two, mainly b/c I don't want to rush into the next part of the story. The next chapter will be up by the end of this weekend. I just wanted to give it some context in the meantime.
Readers: Thank you so much for the encouragement, I really appreciate you reading and commenting, I will try my best not to disappoint you. Smooches/Laters.
