Chapter Three

" Man, what do these do in this hick town for fun, watch flies fuck? Eric McGorrill snorted derisively as he stood on the balcony of Jackson and Mel's suite. Not that it said that on the register.

Jackson had managed to talk a distant relative , well, bribe said relative, into booking three rooms for them in the Hyatt Regency in Memphis. Officially, Mel and Daley had went to San Francisco on a weekend shopping trip and he, Eric , Nathan and Lex were off camping. Which had brought on a whole new monologue for Eric .

" Wonder where they sell Pedo-Bear repellant at?" he'd asked Jackson when he'd told their alibi to him.

" Dude, one look at the skid marks in your boxers and they'd pull 'em back up." Jackson had informed him, literally kicking his ass in the process.

That had quieted him down for all of five minutes.

They had waited for a week before the P.I. they had hired gave them a possible address. Lex, the little genius, had looked for the supposed real name of the infamous adversary, but when he ran the name he found in the sex offender registry, they'd gotten zip. However, they found another adversary on an ancient Juno account and it had led them back to Memphis.

They ere rapidly approaching the address. The GPS in the rented car was leading them there. They had worked out a plan , of sorts. They would offer his sorry ass fifteen thousand dollars for a retraction, his photo, his social security number and, as Jackson put it succinctly, " the chance to not test the limits of emergency room science."

" And if he refuses?" Nathan had asked.

"Then we'll get a picture of him in bed with Mel and Daley." It had taken the promise of virtually everything Jackson owned and the promise to let Mel act out a few of adversary's plot themes on him by her to get that promise.

" And if he still won't?" Nathan had pressed on.

" Then we go with our ultimate weapon. We'll get photos of him in bed with Eric." Jackson swore he still had ear damage after the howl Eric had let out after that. Eric had protested, only to be slammed to the floor as Jackson hopped on his chest and snarled.

" I had three different asshole in gym ask me who was the best fuck, you, Mel or Nathan! I'm shutting this adversary down and if you aren't part of the solution then you're part of the problem."

Eric had went along since. Grudgingly.

The pulled up outside of the small house , on a street named Mullins Station. It was out near the Shelby County Penal farm, the mere mention of which had made Eric go into hystrical laughter.

" Penal Farm?! What do they do , grow penises there?! I can just see them taking their bumper crop to market. " Get'em while they're hard. We have one eyed purple throbbers, two for a dollar. Damn, I sure as hell wouldn't want any of their sesame seeds there ." He'd been on a roll until Daley had whacked him with her shoe.

It was dark. There was an empty house just around the bend. The grass hadn't been mowed in months. They pulled the rented red HHR around to the back, then cut across they field to sneak up to the house of the adversary. Suddenly, Nathan started cursing. Jackson turned to look. The other man was looking at his pda. " That fucker. He just posted another chapter in Helping Out A Buddy. The girls turned us into sex slaves."

Daley: " You wish!"

Nathan: " I'd be down for some of it, but the girls in the story want us to have sex, the guys, with each other every other night. And in the story, You're blackmailing Lex with a tape of him trying to jack off."

Daley:" Talk about life imitating art. Er, uh, that's almost plausible."

Nathan , horrified: " Daley, you didn't!"

Daley:" Well, why did you think he went along with me for so long. Until the little bastard found where I hide the tape. Why did you think he was really so mad at me when these idiots went off with Abby? He was sneaking peeks at Abby, Mel and Taylor every time they took a stitch off."

Eric:" Yeah, he kept getting in my way, finding my favorite hiding spots. Uh, the little fiend.", he said, backpedaling from Mel, who was steadily kicking at him.

Jackson hissed: " Guys , focus. See, every day we wait, our reps get smeared worse. No shut up, I think I see someone in the side bedroom. That blue light just has to be from a computer. Now stay here while I go check."

The largest of the boys took off , sneaking up the driveway. He was briefly lit up by the light as he went under a lamppost, then he was gone.

Eric , mumbling said to himself, " He does have a nice ass, for a guy."

Mel, " Yeah, and I'll get to do all sorts of fun things to it! I don't know why they made me out to be so fucking nice on the show. "

Nathan ; " Guys, gross. " he looked at the house where Jackson had disappeared. " Nice, but, gross."

Daley: " I sear, you people are nothing but walking hormones! No wonder people halfway believe those stories."

Eric:" Yeah, and I heard how you edged out Abby for Valedictorian too. Some private counseling in Dean Smith's office. You're no better."

Daley: " That's different. I really want to get into Harvard."

Nathan:" Yeah, and if I was a Dean, I'd have already gotten into you."

A fine argument was about to break out when Jackson ran up, furious.

" That fucking traitor. And, damn, with him of all people." he rasped, out of breath.

Eric: " Dude, quit smoking so much weed with Nathan every weekend and you'll be able to run!"

Nathan: "At least I'm not a anorexic guy, like you. Go ram something down your throat!"

Jackson grabbed them and slammed their heads together hard.

" I 'm surprised they didn't make a gonging sound." Daley observed.

" It's Taylor ." Jackson wheezed, " damn, Nathan, that weed is fucking nasty. It's Taylor and the fucking Pedo Bear himself, Captain Russell. He' adversary 2113!"

Suddenly , lights shone on them and the unmistakable sound of a shotgun being pumped filled their ears.

Two forms stood there. Taylor was dressed like a modern day Daisy Duke and she was draped on a grinning Robert Russell.

" Found out my secret identity , eh? You kids took my pilot's license, I've taken your privacy. And now, I'm gonna take your lives!

TO BE CONCLUDED.