AN: As requested by a few people, here is the continuation of the pranksters duel seen in my Death by Pranks story. This is going to be a two shot with the first part being the part being the chapter posted under my other story. To cover my rear, I do not own the characters or the devices used for pranking. Those belong to other much richer people.
In the duels taking place by the resident pranksters, it soon became apparent that Harry and Hermione were forces to be reckoned with. Even with no planning, the two would work in tangent to take an opponent out. And in a skirmish, when using muggle weapons, it would often take at least two opponents to have a chance take out either Harry or Hermione. So the Twins ended up joining forces with the Marauders and the battle went from a free-for-all to a four against two.
"Spork," yelled the Sandwich Ninjas as Harry laid down cover fire for Hermione to get a better angle on the Marauders. Before this latest battle began, all of the ammo had been charmed to return to the weapon that fired it. That way they had never-ending ammunition. Because of that, they decided to make the game a little more interesting by turning it into a version of capture the flag. Only the flag(s) for this game was the hostages taken.
Poised on the stairs leading to the second floor landing, Hermione was using the spindles of the railing as cover while she attempted to take out Fred. Harry was shooting from a few stairs below and was attempting for Sirius. With the Ninjas distracted the other halves of the Twins (George) and Marauders (Remus) pulled out their not so secret weapons. Taking aim and quickly calculating trajectory, they fired on first Harry then Hermione.
Hearing a new noise amongst the nerf arrows and rubber band bullets flying, Harry quickly scanned the air for what else could be heading their way. Spotting the green missile, Harry dove for farther down the stairs as he yelled to Hermione, "Incoming!"
Unable to avoid it completely, Hermione was hit. Once it registered with everyone that the missile had actually hit her, an eerie silence fell upon the warriors. An incredulous Hermione broke the quiet as she looked over the "damage."
"A water balloon? Really? And filled with red Kool-Aid? You know this means war. Prepare to die Marauders. You are going down Hell's Jesters." Hermione said as she raised her weapon and rapidly fired on the other four.
Realizing that a pissed Hermione would be a dangerous idea if she got within light-saber distance, Hell's Jesters and the Marauders fell back onto a tactical retreat with Harry dogging their steps with little poppers. As they reached the ground floor, Tonks and Hestia Jones crossed paths with the four-some. Needing hostages, since human shields were pointless, and getting their permission, the two Order members were gently tied and squirreled away to a parlor.
With the hostages safely captured, the Fearsome Foursome decided to go on the offensive and charged the Ninjas. As Hermione fled up the stairs to the first floor, Harry let loose machine gun fire from his rubber band gun. Fleeing through common rooms and down hallways, Harry and Hermione were able to evade their pursuers and take two hostages of their own.
After literally running into Professor Minerva McGonagall, having promised her tea, biscuits and the library, Minerva calmly accompanied her favorite lion cubs and settled into the library on the ground floor.
The second hostage was not so easily taken. Having left Professor McGonagall in the library with all she could drink tea (heavily laced with Scotch), the Ninjas decided to sneak up the back stairs and try to come up on their opponents' flanks. Once reaching the hallway to the stairs, Kingsley Shacklebolt stepped out of the kitchen and straight into their path.
Having been an Auror for fifteen plus years, Kingsley was a naturally suspicious person. So seeing two people sneaking around and apparently armed with weapons other than a wand, his "mischief" radar started to go haywire. Drawing his wand, Kingsley prepared to go on the offensive.
"Ah, Fubar," Hermione muttered as she nudged Harry.
"Shite. Left high, right low," Harry whispered, quickly ducking to the right.
As the pair split to either side of the hall, they drew their wands and the pranks Hell's Jesters had made for them. Only shielding with the wands, the Sandwich Ninjas used the pranks for their offense.
Sadly, even though Kingsley was a decorated Auror, he was taken out quickly. Apparently Auror training did not prepare him to go against two pranksters. Firing stunners and leg-lockers, Kingsley expected to quickly win and find out what Harry and Hermione were up to. Unfortunately, it was the Bavarian Darkness bomb and licorice lasso that was his downfall. With Kingsley tied up Hermione dusted him with some "pixie dust" (powdered mobilicorpus) and towed him to the library. There, Minerva greeted them with a rosy nose and hearty guffaw at the Auror's predicament.
Leaving the Auror to the Scots tender mercies and unrelenting ribbing, the Ninjas left to try to capture their opponents and end the battle. Finding some rubber bands on the hallstand, another predicament occurred as they were heading up the stairs. Across the landing stood their four opponents and to the Ninjas right stood two of the most sought out hostages, Dumbledore and Snape, with the other two, Ron and Molly Weasley, across from them.A glance at each other and the Ninjas, Jesters, and Marauders teamed up to take out the four others.
Knowing neither spells nor punches would be held if Sirius dueled either Snape or Dumbledore, he decided to duel Molly. Besides, she had undermined him in his own home enough times this summer. Remus decided to take on Snape if only to prove his "affliction" was not a hindrance but an asset in a duel.
As much as they might want to duel Ron, Harry and Hermione left him to the twins "tender" mercies while they dueled Dumbledore. And knocking the twinkle out of the old man's eyes was just going to be a nice side effect.
Pranking stances taken and opponents picked, weapons were drawn as the group prepared for battle.
"To the last Rubber Chicken?" Remus asked.
"To the last Rubber Chicken." The others agreed
"Spork!" yelled the Ninjas as they charged Dumbledore.
The next to enter the fray, Sirius drew his wand and dove into battle with a hollered "Fruitcake!"
Realizing what Harry and Hermione started and Sirius accepted with his battle cry, Remus tried to think of a random word to be his. Settling on the word, he advanced towards Snape as a wolfish grin spread across his face.
"Bocce," was the only warning Snape had before Remus began their battle.
A face splitting grin grew across the faces of Fred and George as they eyed Ron trying to think of their own battle cry. Not able to think of anything they could agree on, George entered with fray with Fred following not a second later.
"Ooga booga boo," George yelled while Fred cried "Turducken!"
Pulling their rubber chickens, Fred and George started to "duel" with Ron. The duel was only made more difficult when Ron crouched down in an attempt to protect himself.
"Head, shoulders, knees and arse! Head, shoulders, knees and arse!" the Twins said as they put actions to words with swipes of the chickens.
As the twins were "dueling" with Ron, Remus' own duel against Snape was beginning to get truly heated. Conjured "weapons" and illusion moons had already been attempted along with leg-lockers and jelly-lags being sent back and forth. Remus, tired of playing around and having heard the curse often enough this summer, aimed and fired the Bat-Boogey hex at Snape. Being an older and more experienced magic user (and prankster), the "bats" appeared a little less boogey-ish and quite a bit battier.
Due to over confidence, Dumbledore ended up sabotaging himself against the Ninjas. Tucking and rolling, bobbing and weaving, and really just not being in the same place for very long allowed Harry and Hermione to provide cover for each other while they kept a barrage of rubber bands and foam arrows on Dumbledore while spreading lemon drops along the ground. That way, when Dumbledore did move, he would end up tripping himself.
With Ron having been beaten into submission, Hell's Jesters turned to watch the most interesting duel they had ever seen. Remus soon joined in being a spectator after he had batted Snape around a bit and ended up hog-tying the man. Due to the entertainment level of the duel they were watching, Remus conjured some popcorn to be shared while everyone cheered the duel on.
Almost as if it was planned, Sirius duel with Molly Weasley turned from playful to slightly vengeful as Harry and Hermione finished their own duel against Dumbledore. The crowning moment of the Ninjas' duel was when they had charmed some origami cranes to circle Dumbledore while chirping, "I've fallen and I can't get up," along with "We see London, we see France, We see Albus' underpants."
While Sirius liked Molly Weasley and thought she could really be a nice woman, he just could not respect her. He knows Molly had lost the majority of her family to the first Blood War with Voldemort; but so had quite a few people, Sirius included. He lost his bothers (both in blood and in heart) as well as his (adoptive) sister, so he truly understood the want and need to have your family kept safe. But Molly took that too far with her coddling and sheltering of her children, Harry and Hermione included. Plus, in Sirius opinion, Molly just seemed to talk out of her arse.
"Sirius Orion Black, stop this right now! You need to stop being so childish and start acting like the adult Harry needs you to be," Molly scolded.
"Hey, don't bring me into this. He acts and is enough of an adult for me." Harry declared.
"What he said. Besides, Harry doesn't need me to be a parent. He needs me as who I am, His Godfather!" Sirius said as he vanished Molly's mouth. He really was getting tired of her "holier than thou" attitude when it came to the children.
"Ah, now that's better. No more verbal diarrhea or talking out of your arse for you." Sirius said as he charmed Molly's voice to emit from her rear.
"Sirius," Molly yelled, "undo this charm immediately!"
Once Molly realized where her voice came from, she couldn't help but reach around to her rear and cover it with both her hands. That movement was Sirius cue to take the largest rubber bands (engorged of course) he had and use them as hand and ankle cuffs.
With the opponents defeated and restrained, Remus glanced at his fellow duelers. Almost as one, six guns were pulled and fired.
Laughing, Hermione said, "To the hostages. Then the victors buy a round for everyone."
As the Hell's Jesters lead the way to the room they were keeping the hostages, Harry realized that by chance the captives were being held in the exact same room. It was only by chance the captors never saw each other.
Arriving at the door, a truly surprising sight greeted the battle weary warriors. Apparently while the captors were busy, Minerva decided to get her fellow captives drunk. And taking further advantage of the other captives, Minerva was fleecing the other four in games of poker.
Freezing at the sight, the four Nerf War survivors couldn't help laughing at the sight. As Minerva's grin went from feral while counting her winnings to sheepish at being caught, it was decided that a rematch was to be as soon as the winter holidays.
Well that and the fact Minerva was going to have to share her winnings. She wouldn't have had the chance to win so much money if she hadn't been taken hostage.
AN: Well, there you have it. Not the best of stories and I probably won't continue it. But hope those who read it enjoy it. And since I'm posting this a week or so before Christmas and New Years, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to everyone that celebrates. Merry Yule if that is your holiday of choice. And a belated Happy Chanukah.
