Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.-Mark Twain
Derek Morgan was the first to notice Hotch coming to work with a slight smile on his face. He thought he had imagined it because he knew of only a handful of times he had seen his boss smile since Haley's death. But there it was tugging gently at the corners of his mouth. He considered the possibilities of what could have caused that smile, and realized he had gotten laid.
"Hey, baby girl." He said as he walked into Penelope's little office. "Did you notice anything about Hotch this morning?" He asked.
She smiled as Derek pulled a seat next to her.
"You mean that I-just-got-laid look?" She chuckled softly.
"How did you know?" He asked a little disappointed.
"All in the eyes my dearest, besides no one can tell someone else is some love better than those not getting any, stud muffin." She smiled at Derek who returned with a playful laugh.
JJ gathered them all into the bullpen to go over another case. When Aaron entered they all formed a small knowing smile. The only one oblivious was Reid—too smart for his own good sometimes. They reviewed the local case and all went to work respectively.
"So what's her name?" Rossi couldn't pass up an opportunity to mess with his friend. Hotchner and Rossi climbed into the SUV heading to a victim's home.
"Let's not do this right now." Aaron responded sharply.
"Ok then I have met her. Obviously it's not Garcia, who only has eyes for Morgan, and Emily is mine, JJ is happily taken…hmmm. I doubt it would be Strauss; you're too controlling to fuck someone who has power over you." Rossi stated as Reid got into the vehicle.
"What are we talking about?" He asked. Dave shot Aaron a look that if he didn't share he would.
"Fine, yes I had sex this weekend. It's not a big deal. And it was a one-time thing that won't happen again."
"Oh." Spencer said realizing now why everyone else was smiling at Hotch that morning.
They rode the rest of the way in silence.
"So who are you trying to convince, me or you?" Rossi said climbing out of the vehicle starting for the house.
The case ended quickly and Hotch found he was alone again. Jack was at a sleepover. He was sitting on his couch holding his phone considering dialing her number. He just wanted to see how she was doing, he told himself. He set his phone down, deciding to clean his kitchen. It was already cleaned minus the trash needing to be taken out. Sighing as he came back to his apartment he noticed he had 1 missed call.
It was from her. He didn't hesitate calling her back.
"Hey, I saw that you called?" He asked once she answered.
"Yeah, I was just wondering what you are doing tonight?" She said.
"Nothing."
"Jack home?"
"No, I am alone tonight." He answered looking around his apartment, wondering quickly if he should invite her over.
"Oh, that sucks." He heard a knock on his door.
"Uh—hold on." He put her on hold going to the door. He was always cautious and before opening the door he doubled check to make sure his pistol was in the safe. Another louder, impatient knock came. He opened the door revealing Gabby.
"Oh, hey." He said. He was glad she was there with a slow smile creeping over his face.
"Yeah, sorry for just stopping over, I was just thinking. I just thought…" He didn't let her finish the sentence she was having trouble putting together. He kissed her passionately and quickly. She kissed him back. They both started removing their clothes almost instantly.
"God I want you. " She mumbled into his mouth.
"Me too." He said. She kneeled in front of his already erect manhood. She licked tenderly across his head. He grunted as he tilted his head enjoying every sensation of her wonderful mouth on him. She moved slowly at first up and down him swirling her tongue over his head. Gradually she added her hands and applied pressure to his sack.
"I am going to come." He moaned pulling her off of him. He turned her to face the wall and entered her. She yelped with pleasure. He was rougher this time unable to quell the primal need to be inside her. He pulled her hair towards him kissing her neck. Once balanced with her bracing the wall, he used his other hand to cup her breast, gently tugging on her nipple. Within moments she was over the edge moaning his name.
"Oh Aaron."
He pumped once, twice, three times before spilling himself into her again.
"Damn you're good." He said once he withdrew. He took her hand already ready for round two, and led her to his room. She climbed on the bed on all fours. Hotch quickly grabbed her hips pulling her to him and entered her again.
"God, you're so wet and tight." He said. He moved slower this time, but as he gradually increased speed he felt her trying to pull away. He stopped waiting for her to say something but heard sobs instead.
"Gabriela what's wrong?" His eyebrows scrunched as he withdrew and turned her over. He saw the tears fall from her face.
"Did I hurt you?" He asked panicking. He didn't know what he did.
"No, no you didn't hurt me. God, I am so sorry. I just, I just can't do it like this." She pulled the covers over her naked body.
"Do it like what? With me?" He asked confused.
"No, it's just I…I…well I. I just can't do it that way." She said. "We can try it this way." She lay back on the bed but still kept herself covered.
"No. No, I want to know what's wrong." He demanded. He had talked with countless victims over the years, but it didn't take a profiler to realize she had a panic attack over doggy style. He laid next to her taking her hand and trying to comfort her in the best way he could.
"It's a heavy story, Aaron. I've never told anyone before. I don't know if I should." She didn't want to relive the most painful days of her life.
"It's ok. We can just lay here." He said in a calming voice. He had to admit with her nestled at his side he felt more comfortable then he had been in a while. Although neither fell asleep they let the silence rest peacefully over them. Finally, after a while, Gabby spoke up.
"I was seeing this guy. We met in college he was the only guy I ever dated, it was serious pretty quick. When we graduated we both applied to Georgetown. I was accepted. He wasn't. He was angry, but decided to move with me here and get a job instead of his masters. He started entry level at a Marketing company. We were doing well, hardly ever fought. Things started getting weird. He got into bondage…" She paused, waiting to see if he would judge her. He didn't tense up and he stayed quiet listening to her story.
"I let him do some pretty weird things. Candles, clothesline clips. I loved him you know. And if this made him happy…it was just my body." She stumbled.
"Go on." Hotch encouraged.
"When I came home from school our whole bedroom was decorated. I really hated it and it made me uncomfortable to sleep there. Anyway, Daniel said I had to. He never hit me before but that night he beat me pretty bad. I wanted to call the police but I was too afraid. So I obliged him, for everything. The rules started getting harder and harder and the punishments were rougher and rougher. I couldn't wear clothes in the house. Ever." Tears started to fall down her face as she recalled these traumatic moments.
"He would only have sex if I was on the floor like a dog. He called me Bitch, and got a shock collar for me to wear when I was home. I hated myself and I wanted to die. My only solace was going to school. I felt free there."
"Gabby, I am so sorry." Aaron whispered. He tried to hold his disgust because he didn't want her to think it was towards her.
"I'm not done." She traced delicately over his 9 stab wounds.
"Does it hurt?" She asked needing break from her pain.
"No. They are just a reminder of how I failed her. Every day." He stated with no emotion. She took a deep breath.
"One day I came home he hit me over the head. When I woke up I was naked tied up and on my knees. He raped me. As much as I cried out no one even heard. For two days he raped me, washed me, and let me use the bathroom. He didn't let me eat and only after I serviced him did he give me some water but I had to lap it from a bowl like a dog. I fainted, and when I woke up I was in the hospital." She finished.
"Did you file a report?"
"No, I told them I didn't know who I was or how I got there. I left everything I had in that apartment and moved in with my dad who has remained oblivious. I haven't heard from Daniel again. The last I heard from a friend was he moved to Seattle."
"How long ago was this?" He asked. He was angry. There was so much hurt even though he did his best to stop them he still couldn't protect everyone.
"It's been two years, three months and 18 days." She needed a change of subject. She started kissing his neck, stopping to nibble slightly on his ear. He reached for his phone.
"What are you doing?" She asked angrily.
"Statute of limitations is not up yet. I know someone who can find this guy." He dialed Garcia's cell.
"No!" She nearly screamed snatching the phone from her lover's hands and hung up on Garcia.
"It's been two years, I haven't heard from him. I carry an arsenal of weapons including a gun and mace. I don't want to have to go into every detail of what he did to anyone else. I don't want my father to have to hear about this." She explained. She stood up tossing the phone back onto the bed.
"I'm taking a shower." She walked into his master bathroom and decided a bath would be better.
Hotch waited a few moments and realized he had two missed calls from Garcia. He called her back.
"Boss man, I was worried! What is going on it's almost midnight?" She asked in her usual chipper voice.
"I need a favor, off the books." He stated.
