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"I think that love is stronger than habits or circumstances. I think it is possible to keep yourself for someone for a long time, and still remember why you were waiting when she comes at last... I would enter your sleep if I could, and guard you there, and slay the thing that hounds you, as I would if it had the courage to face me in fair daylight. But I cannot come in unless you dream of me." Peter S. Beagle, The Last Unicorn


"Я принес еду." (I brought food) Alana held up the two large pizza boxes she had balanced on one hand as she closed the door behind her.

James eyed her carefully from his spot on the bed, watching as she walked over and sat on the opposite end.

Alana placed the boxes between them lifting the cover. Steam rose up from the top of the pizza, and the aroma of cheese and tomato sauce filled the room. "Это прекрасно, чтобы поесть." (It's fine to eat) She assured him, taking one large piece and folding it in half before taking a bite.

She was still a bit rattled from her morning and she hoped that being here would help distract her brain.

Alana chose to stay silent for now, scarfing down a whole piece of the pizza and then taking another one. When she was halfway through with that, she looked up to see him lean forwards, taking one of the slices for himself.

A moment later, the man across from her let out a low moan. Her eyes snapped up, narrowing at him for a moment before he spoke up. "Это фантастическая." (This is fantastic.) Alana chuckled, getting a small grin in response from him. "Напоминает мне о Бруклине." (Reminds me of Brooklyn)

"Бруклине?" (Brooklyn?) She asked, wondering what the significance was.

"Я вырос там." (I grew up there.) He told her between bites as she finished her slice and leaned back against the wall.

"Вы вспомнили , что ?" (You remembered that?) Alana wondered how long ago the memory had come back to him. In response, he just nodded his head. His long hair blocked her view of his eyes for a moment, reminding her that he needed a haircut sooner rather than later.

He stayed silent, continuing to eat the food she had brought him and not looking at her. "James?" She tried, wanting to keep him talking. She could practically see him drawing into himself again.

"People called me Bucky." His words were short and clipped. Alana crossed her arms over her chest.

"You want me to call you Bucky?" Alana asked, and watched as he paused in his eating to think it over. "Or James?"

"I don't know." He ran his metal hand through his hair.

"Well, you're the only one who can answer that question. So when you decide, let me know." She smiled slightly at him. "You remember my name?"

"Brewster." Her named rolled off his tongue easily, and his lips twitched upwards slightly when she barked out a laugh.

"Yeah, but you call me Alana." She told him, letting her eyes slip closed.

She listened to the man across from her chew his food and, a few moments later, he reached across to grab another slice. She guessed that it was his first real outside meal since the 40's.

Alana knew how HYDRA worked, and she knew that James wouldn't have been given solid food. Just liquids and IV's to keep him in top condition.

She heard him open the second box as well. "Before I forget," She spoke up, keeping her eyes closed, "You need a haircut and a decent shave." Alana heard his movements pause. "I can get you a razor tonight."

Her answer was in response to his hesitation, though she was correct in her assumption that he didn't have one. It surprised him, how willing she was to help him. It felt…nice. "You aren't allowed to leave the building yet, but there's a medical wing on this floor, they give haircuts if you ask nicely." Bucky nodded, finishing his pizza before looking up at her.

Alana had one eye cracked open, watching him with a quizzical expression on her face. "You catch that?" She asked.

"Yeah." He nodded again, and realized she hadn't seen him nod before.

"You are allowed to leave your room, you know that right?"

"Yes." She smiled, and it made him grin a little bit back at her.

"Good," She closed her eyes again, tilting her head back on the wall. "There's a gym here too, and a cafeteria."

"Okay."

Alana let her thoughts wander as the two settled into silence once more. Her senses however, stayed on the Winter Soldier. She could feel his eyes on her, hear each exhale he let out, could sense where he was. It had all been a part of her training.

Training that made her very over-qualified for what she was doing right now. Though, sitting here with Bucky, she could see why Steve thought she'd be a good choice. Someone like her, at least.

She was perfectly fine with sitting here; her patience was almost never-ending when it came to waiting things out. Alana had sat for hours, sometimes days, by herself waiting for a target to come into range.

One of her first solo missions had been like that. She had sat in the mountains of Siberia for three days by herself, just waiting for a man who was fleeing from Russia. She had been told he was a national security threat, and so he needed to be taken out.

A bullet through the head from two hundred yards away had been enough to keep him quiet.

Now, she just sat and would wait until Sergeant Barnes was ready to open up. Alana knew not to force it, that would only end badly. She had to be patient and always prepared for him to click from being the recovering man he was now, to the notorious assassin.

Alana knew it was only a matter of time before something happened that would set him off. A dream, a sound, someone's words. It would probably happen more than once. She wasn't expecting an easy recovery for the man across from her. Not in the slightest.

She guessed that's another reason why Steve asked her. Her expectations would be realistic. Alana wouldn't see a slight relapse as a setback. She would keep trying to help.


Two days later Alana sat at the end of James's bed. She was filling out the paperwork she had received from her therapist. SHIELD had decided she would start going to sessions again while she worked with James. Something about how what she went through could be considered 'traumatic'.

'Have you considered suicide in the past year?' She read it in her head, lifting her pen to check off the 'yes' box. She sighed, hating the stupid self-evaluation sheets. She must have filled out at least fifteen of these in the past seven years.

Alana glanced up, her eyes landing on James. He had cleaned up yesterday after she had gotten him a razor. All the scruff on his face was now gone, and she was surprised at how much younger he looked. His hair was still long, but she wasn't sure if he wanted it that way, or if he just didn't want to leave him room yet.

She was going to drag him out of this room soon if he didn't leave on his own. At least to the gym, she thought some physical activity would do wonders for him.

He had fallen asleep a few minutes ago while reading one of the books she had brought him. It lay open on his chest now, and Alana could make out the cover of Catcher in the Rye from where she sat.

It was the first time she had ever seen him asleep, and she took the opportunity to look him over. He wore a tight fitting gray t-shirt, the SHIELD symbol on the front. Even though he hadn't been working out, he was still in top physical condition, as far as she could see. His cybernetic arm lay over his stomach, the red Soviet star only partially visible underneath where his shirt cut off. He had on the black sweatpants that SHIELD had provided him with as well. His bare feet stuck out just a few feet away from her.

James looked peaceful when he slept; his facial features smoothed out and devoid of worry lines. Though he looked even better when he smiled, which she hadn't seen again since she had brought the pizza two days ago.

Alana had brought food every day since then, the Chinese takeout boxes that sat on the dresser were today's remnants.

She finished the final page of her evaluation, clicked her pen closed and then placed the clipboard beside her.

"Нет." (No) Alana looked over at James when he spoke, her eyebrows coming together in confusion. "Нет!" He said it more aggressively, and she saw his eyes were still closed.

His face twisted into a grimace, head jerking to the side once. A layer of sweat seemed to come from nowhere and cover his body. He let out a groan, a leg kicking out.

Alana was off the bed in the next second. She walked over to his side. "James." She called out his name, but got no response. His breathing got faster, coming in short breaths. "James! Проснись!" (Wake up!)

"Остановите, пожалуйста!" (Stop, please!) He cried out.

Alana knew that it was a stupid move, but the desperation and pain in his voice drove her to grab his forearm to wake him.

He was awake instantly, and she was held against the wall in the next second, metal fingers curled around her neck. Alana winced as he drove his other fist into her, pain shooting through her stomach.

She kicked out with her legs, distracting him for a moment before she thrust her right elbow up, catching him in the face. Alana twisted herself around to the left a moment later, rotating James' arm around so that she was behind him and off the wall.

"James!" She tried getting him back, then drove her elbow down onto his twisted arm a moment later when she felt him try and get up. James fell to the floor, but his arm came around a second later and he grabbed her shoulder, flipping her over so that she was on her back in front of him. The loud thud of her body hitting the ground seemed to shake the room.

Alana felt blood fill her mouth as he punched the side of her mouth, a loud crack sounding in the room.

She reached upwards quickly, wrapping both arms around his neck before heaving herself forwards and flipping him over onto the floor beside her. "James!" Alana called out again to him, and then rolled over a moment later, grabbing onto his long hair and driving his head into the ground.

It pounded against the hardwood, and Alana grit her teeth together before she hit it against the floor again. She let go then, pushing herself to her feet. One of her hands came up to hold onto her throbbing side as she made her way to the bathroom. Once there, she leaned over the sink, spitting out blood from her mouth before glancing back to the main room, where James was just starting to sit up.

She could see his body shaking as he ran his hands through his hair. Alana glanced in the mirror once, already seeing the bruises beginning to form around her neck. She ignored them, making her way over to James.

His shoulders where shaking as she crouched down. She didn't say a word before she placed a hand on his arm, his head slowly lifting to look up at her. Alana recognized the look in his eyes as one that she had seen many times in the mirror.

Her arms were around him in the next moment, and she felt him tense underneath her touch. Alana started humming then, keeping her hold on him while she felt him relax start to relax.

It was what she always wanted whenever she woke up from a nightmare back when they started years ago. Just to have something to hold onto. For a while, Clint had been that for her, after he found out how severe they were getting.

And so Alana decided to try the same for James. He doesn't cry, and she doesn't expect him to, but she feels him try and calm down his breathing. "All my troubles seemed so far away, now it looks as though they're here to stay." The words came out softly, and Alana only sings the one line, humming the rest of the song.

He's calmed down considerably once she's done, and Alana unwraps her arms from around him. Bucky sat up slowly, running his hands through his long hair repeatedly.

"How's your head?" Alana asked seriously.

"Hurts a bit."

"Cognitive recalibration." Alana explained, getting a perplexed look from him, "I hit your head really hard on the floor. Usually works. I would've just fought you out of it the old fashioned way, but I've been outta practice."

"Sorry."

"Don't be. It's not your fault." She watched his eyes drift down to her neck, where she imagined the bruises were getting darker now. "I've been through a lot worse, trust me."


I do not own any characters except for Alana. Please review if you'd like, I'd love to hear from you!