Highway Introductions
In which surprise visitors are just too much for Courtney, and Duncan is horny.


As she shut the car door, a voice came from the back seat. "So, what took you two so long, eh?"

Half-buckled Courtney could only yelp in surprise. Unsure whether to run or stay, she looked at Duncan to see if the voice was safe.

Duncan let out a breath sharply and rolled his eyes. "That's my older brother Greg, and his girlfriend Violet. Greg, Violet, Courtney," he said flatly, motioning to each of them in turn.

"Pleased to meet y—"

"No, really, bro, something happen back there to slow you down? She didn't, you know…" Greg sung a fragment of "Do a Little Dance, Make a Little Love," and then made a 'cha-ching!' sound complete with a toned-down pelvic thrust. "…show you some dance moves?" He looked at Courtney for a moment. "Sorry, Courtney, bro and I keep it strictly business casual. I hope you aren't offended."

Jamming the keys in the ignition, Duncan smiled despite himself and gave Courtney a look of understanding tempered by years of, she could only assume, extreme suffering. "Greg has a talent for making terrible first impressions. Don't take it personally, babe."

Courtney hardly stammered out the beginnings of a response before Greg started up again. "Oh, so you're not one of the hookers! Dunky brings so many home, I can hardly tell the difference between women and whores anymore. I mean, really, there's not much difference, they've both got va—whoops! She's a live one, bro!"

After Duncan had introduced the surprise visitors in the back seat, Courtney's heartbeat started a slow ritard to its normal rate. She calmed down and tuned into Greg's monologue, which then transformed her face from light brown to bright red. After hearing the "hookers" comment, she lost her temper and aimed a slap for Greg's face. At the last moment, a hand bolted out from the darkness and gripped her wrist harshly. Courtney winced and glared at Violet, whose hand had so trapped hers an inch away from Greg's face.

"What's your deal? Let go!" she growled, struggling to get free. "Violet, please, let go! You're hurting me!" Violet's face remained unchanged, except for her eyes, which were focused on Greg, as if waiting for his opinion. Greg, on the other hand, was howling with laughter so loud that it drowned out the sound of the engine starting.

"She's like a bird, honey, and we don't like to break a bird's wings, hm? I haven't seen her fly yet, so you better let the birdie go," said Greg to Violet, finally, in a voice a father might use with his daughter.

Violet released Courtney's hand mechanically and gave it two slow, careful pats before looking to Greg again. She seemed pleased with herself, or at least Courtney thought she looked pleased. It was hard to tell—Violet hardly moved her chest when she breathed, and didn't seem to blink much. "Good girl, reward for you," sang Greg, and kissed his girlfriend quickly but powerfully. Violet's smile completely transformed her face. "Although I think I deserved the slap."

Courtney turned away from them and looked at Duncan instead. This was too weird for her. "Um?" was all she could manage. She heard a very loud 'smack' come from the back seat and a louder 'owww' come from Greg.

Duncan had his eyes on the road; he'd already driven them out of her neighborhood and they were waiting for the red light at the main road to turn green. "Don't even bother trying to understand. They're in an 'unconventional relationship,'" he said sarcastically, quoting the phrase "unconventional relationship" with his fingers.

"Like an open relationship or something?"

"More like extremely closed. I'll explain later," he replied.

An awkward silence followed, filled occasionally by sounds of shuffling in the back seat. How do you follow something like that? Courtney turned her attention to the road; a thought hit her.

"Can you even drive?" she asked. She'd dropped her usual accusatory tone; the drive was strange enough that it knocked the bite out of her. What resulted was what normal people would call 'small talk.' "You said Greg's older, shouldn't he—"

"Greg would turn this sweet ride into a hulking metal deathtrap, babe. And can't you see I'm driving?"

"But are you driving legally?"

"The cops would say no," he admitted with a grin, "if they could catch me. I've been screwing with cars for years now. Besides, we're headed to Calgary—do the pigs pull over cars crawling in the middle lane?" he spat.

Rather than defend her hometown, a metric ton of realizations hit Courtney. "Wait a minute, we're going downtown in the dead of night? Are you crazy? There'll be drunks and bums all over the place! You might get—"

"You're with a criminal, remember? The drunks should be scared of me, not the other way around, princess."

"Would you let me finish! Apart from that, there's construction, and—why are you here in Calgary? You don't live in Calgary! Do you even live in Alberta? How did you find out where my house was? Have you been stalking me, Duncan? Duncan! Quit laughing and answer me, you idiot!"

Duncan had to pull over—it was just too much. His face looked like he either had severe constipation, laughing cramps, or both. "I didn't," he wheezed between fits, "know you," ha ha, oh hee hee hee, snmx huh huh, "cared so much," bwa ha ha ha ha ha, "princess!"

"Answer me, damn you! I could report this as a kidnapping you kn—get your face off the horn!"

Greg joined Duncan's hysterics after Duncan, doubled over, planted his forehead into the steering wheel, and held the horn down. The brothers' pained cries of laughter harmonized surprisingly well with the car horn's volume. "You idiots sound like hyenas!" She grabbed Duncan's mohawk and wrenched his head away from the wheel. "Stop!"

Her laughing love interest made no attempt to resist and gave her a look loaded with smarm. "Didn't know you liked it like that, babe. Can't say I mind." In disgust, Courtney let go of his hair and hid her face in the dashboard, letting out a growl of pure annoyance.

"I can do that too, see, but it works better if you do it like this," Duncan said, punctuating his consolation by pressing his face into the horn. Again. The noise wasn't loud enough to obscure Duncan's voice, unfortunately. "Practish makesh purfuct, hot shtuff," he continued, half of his mouth covered by the wheel. "You'll get it evenshually."

"She totally digs you, bro."

"SHUT UP!"


AN: If you're interested, I'm not Canadian. Yes, I did choose Calgary for a reason. :)