Extra long because I feel really bad for not updating for so long!

I don't know what woke me up the most; whether it was the urge to throw up or the nagging headache caused by the open drapes, but whatever it was I was wide awake and sprinting to my bathroom. After emptying my stomach completely I brushed my teeth, showered, lightly blow dried my hair, and went back to my room to change. I opened my bathroom door and walked straight into my room. The walls were white, but the floor was all black tiles, along with the large drapes that covered my full wall of windows. I quickly hit the button and the drapes automatically slid across the entire wall and made my room pitch black, then I clapped and the lights came on. Thank God they were dimmed or my headache would kill me. I walked across my room to the black double doors that opened to my walk in closet that was about half the size of my room, which means it's huge. My room takes up the entire fifth floor of my dad's house so I had my own closet, bathroom, room, living room, pool, and guest room all to myself covering over 2000 square feet. Like I said unnecessarily big house, but my favorite part of my room was definitely the windows, except for when I'm hung over. Every night I sit on my couch and just look out the 20 feet high windows wishing on every shooting star I saw.

I sighed as I grabbed a plain white long sleeve shirt and my favorite pair of jeans. Every time I thought about making a wish I thought about my mother, Janine. Thinking about her brought back memories I'd rather forget, but I never could. I found myself absent mindedly playing with the locket around my neck, the last thing she'd given me before she disappeared. I snapped myself out of my memories and changed then ran downstairs to the kitchen through a secret staircase in my closet.

I walked straight to the wooden island in the center of the kitchen, there sitting on the granite counter top was a glass full of my current obsession. 'Dear Rose, You should learn to take it easy or I'm just going to have to teach you how to make this. –Love, Osanka' I smiled as I took off the note and choked down the mixture Osanka—the house chief along with her husband Mark—had left me, it was her own person cure to hangovers that she had so graciously made for me ever since the incident. After I finished it I slammed the glass down and my other hand shot out to keep me from falling, I breathed in and out slowly until I felt the hangover start to subside. Just because the drink helps doesn't meant it feels any better than a hangover, for the seconds it takes for the horrid tasting liquid to take affect your whole body feels weak and you want to hurl, however if you can stand the discomfort it's worth it.

Completely healed of my hangover I went straight to the fridge and pulled out some eggs and milk. As I scrambled my eggs I drank straight from the carton and heard the main door to the kitchen open. "I see you found your present from Osanka." Adrian observed as he dug in the fridge for pancakes once he found them he pulled out a stool and sat at the island.

I brought my milk carton and frying pan of eggs to the island and scrapped the eggs on to the plate Adrian had set out for me. "Shockingly yes! Somehow it's always in the same place every morning so I don't think I could miss it."

He chuckled as I put the pan and spatula in the sink and came to sit with him. "Careful," he smiled teasingly at me; "I might not want to share these delicious pastries I went out to get this morning." He pulled a donut box out from behind his back and I smiled eagerly at him.

"Please, gimmie!" I reached out and he handed me the box smiling at me. That's what I loved about Adrian—he just knew me, he knew how to make me smile, laugh, or cry at the drop of a hat and he could tell you everything about me without even thinking about it. We were just so in sync since the moment we'd met that if we ever needed anything the other knew. For instance, donuts. Adrian knew last night was a rough one and so he brought me the one thing he knew would put me in a decent mood today.

I tore open the box and found six donuts and a lot of donut holes. I looked up at Adrian questioningly about the two extra donuts. "For the Russian."

"Dimitri?"

"Yeah, figured I'd be nice for now. After all he did take care of my precious little flower last night." He smiled as he caressed my cheek.

I swatted his hand away from my face and laughed. "What are you talking about? All he did was drive me home in my car."

"How do you think you got to your room?"

I looked at him curiously, "I just assumed you carried me up like always. That's why he was on my couch this morning?"

Adrian looked confused, "I guess. I waited for you to get home and he came in with you curled up in his arms –it was kind of adorable—and he said he could take you up so I let him." I looked at him like he was crazy for letting a new guy carry me around much less give him the code to get to my room in the elevator. "B- but- but- but!" He stuttered, "I told him where his room was so I don't know why he didn't just go there."

Looking at Adrian I knew he was hiding something from me and I also knew he wouldn't let Dimitri take me to my room if his wasn't close by. "And where is his room exactly?"

"Your guest room," he mumbled looking down at his hands and cringing away from me.

"What?" I yelled dropping the donut box safely on the island and shot off my stool. "Why the hell is he staying on my floor?"

"As protection for you." I looked up ready to attack whoever said that until I realized it was my father.

I sighed as all my anger just flew out the window as I looked into the worried and loving eyes of my father, "But I don't need protection, Baba, I know how to fight and nothing has happened in months. Unless the threats have reoccurred in which case you should have told me."

"No, no more threats. But I would rather be safe than sorry. If anything happened to you Rose I wouldn't be able to survive." Abe said as he grabbed a small bottle of orange juice and a donut hole.

"Alright, but at least don't put him in my guest room." I admitted defeat as I sat down and grabbed two double chocolate glazed donuts.

"No can do Kiz." My dad chuckled as he kissed my head and headed for the back door that opened to the massive garage.

"Why not old man?"

"Because there's no more rooms available." He chuckled at my murderous expression as he stood at the door. I grabbed an apple off the fruit tray in the center of the island and hurled it at him. HE ducked out the door and laughed as he stuck his head back in, "You coming Adrian?"

"Yes sir," Adrian laughed as he stood up, "See ya Rosie." He kissed my forehead and ran out the door with Abe.

"Y'all better hope I don't find you tonight." I yelled right before the door shut. I sighed and chuckled as I started to eat my donuts.

"What's so funny?" A deep voice with the sexiest hint of a Russian accent filled my ears. I tensed and then realized who it was and relaxed slightly. "Sorry, I didn't realized you didn't know I was here."

I shook my head, "It's fine, I just didn't see you come in."

"Ohh I took your stairs, I hope that's ok," Dimitri brushed it off like it wasn't a big deal as he grabbed a plate out of a cabinet and sat in Adrian's seat.

"How did you know where it was?" I asked shocked and a little creeped.

"Abe gave my blue prints of all the mansions a couple days ago and made me memorize all of them." He said not looking at me as he grabbed an apple and took a bite of it.

"Really?" He nodded still not looking at me. "So you know exactly where everything is in every mansion?"

"Pretty much." Dimitri grabbed an orange and began to peal it. Still not looking at me!

"Ummm Adrian got you some donuts." I said stupidly. I'd never had someone treat me so coldly. They'd either been afraid of me so they treated me with respect or they knew me so they treated me like a friend. Never had a guy not looked at me with out emotion, or not looked at me at all. I held the box out to him and he took two without a word. "You know you could say thank you?" My snarkyness was kicking in and boy was I getting pissed.

"I will, when I see Adrian." He continued to eat his donut and study the room.

I just starred at him in disbelief. "Really? Really? You're gonna come into my house and treat me like shit. You must think you're really cool right now, but let me tell you something. Never has anyone treated me as low as you are now. I don't care that my dad hired you to 'protect me' I can take care of myself, and I don't give a shit that you work at the club, or that you're with Tasha, but I do not handle people acting like dicks around me and I certainly will not take crap from you. It doesn't matter to me if you hate me, all I care about is that you respect me." At this point me food was forgotten and I was standing up.

Dimitri finally looked up at me with a glint in his eyes that I couldn't place, but with no emotion on his face. "Respect is earned, and from the way you acted last night you don't deserve my respect."

I was taken aback at the tone of his voice –cold and uncaring. "So you're just going to judge me on one night. That's mature."

"No it's the way I am. I will not respect you until you show me you are worth respecting." He stood now and was towering over me as his deep brown eyes bore into mine.

My glare softened until it became on existent. His arms, his chest, his face, his hair, they all looked so familiar. "You were one of the men who helped my father find me?"

His voice was soft and his angry expression fell off his face at my words. "I carried you out of the hotel room."

"Thank you." I broke eyes contact and grabbed my plate dumped the rest of the donut in the trash then set the plate in the sink, put the milk away, and headed up stairs while Dimitri just watched me. Somewhere around the third floor memories started flashing back. I pushed back as best I could, but the images just kept coming. I abruptly stopped and leaned against the circular brick wall that ran between the winding staircase. My breathing speed up as tears filled my eyes; I became so weak I slid down the wall and sat on the stairs as I cried.

His hand on my thigh, so close to my – My first time was supposed to be special, but it wasn't and now it could never be. I had lost track of how many times he'd taken me against my will, yet now somehow I didn't care. I could never be loved now, I knew that. All the things he'd said about me were true: I was a whore, I was weak, I was ugly, I was fat, I was stupid, I was useless –and the worst—I was worthless.

I was never going to be found, never going home. I would die as his slut and nothing more. I would never see my father again, never see Adrian, Lissa, Christian, Eddie, Mia, Mikhail, Pavel, none of the people I loved would even know I had left this world.

I watched as he pulled a knife from his belt and the tears began to run. "I told you that you were weak, Rosemaire." He sneered. He trailed it up my body and I didn't dare move. "You know what I'm going to do to you? I'm going to take this knife" he waved what was in his hand and place it on my exposed stomached right above my belly button, "I'm going to run it up, up, up" the knife cut into my skin as it left a trail of blood up my stomach, between my breast, stopping at my throat, "and stop. Wouldn't want to damage your voice now would we? I do love hearing you scream." He then took the knife and started carving things into my side, the pain was excruciating. "Scream for me, Rosemarie." Tears ran all over my face, but I would not scream. "Tell me how much it hurts," he added more pressure. "Beg me to stop," more pressure and faster carvings. "Cry out for help," the anger was clear on his face now. "You will never be rescued, Rosemarie!" He yelled grabbing my face and making me look at him. "No one thinks you are worth saving." He threw my face to the side and threw the knife away as he began to undo his pants. "Tonight will be special Rose, tonight will be our last together… For now." After that I blacked out.

A loud bang woke me up and I sat up quickly. Pain radiated from my chest and I looked down to see blood everywhere. I grabbed the sheet to cover myself when I heard footsteps coming towards my door. "Rose! Rose!" He was shouting my name –who he was I didn't know—as long as it wasn't him I was alright. Someone threw open my door and I crawled back on the bed careful not to move my torso too much. "Rose," warm brown eyes looked into mine. He came towards me quickly and reached for me, but I shrunk away. "Rose," he bent his knees to be eye level with me, "you can trust me. Abe sent me, I've come to take you home." He held out his hand to me and after carefully looked at him for a few moments I nodded to him. The man tucked his arms under me carefully and lifted me slowly so he didn't hurt me too much. "You're safe now Rose. I'm going to protect you." I had never felt safer than when I was in that mans arms. "Rose. Rose…"

"Rose," a hand moved my hair from my face and caressed my cheek. "Please, open your eyes. "You're safe now."

My eyes fluttered open and I met his warm brown eyes again. Slowly he held his hands out to me, as if he was asking permission again, I nodded to him and he carefully whipped away my tears. "You're safe, and I'm going to protect you." I saw the promise and determination in his eyes.

"I know." I said as I removed his hands from my face. I slowly stood up and began walking upstairs again. I could hear Dimitri following me slowly and once I got to my room I left the door open for him. Going straight to my bathroom I began profusely whipping any make up I had on off of my face and applying new foundation, black eye liner, light eye shadow, and some mascara. I walked back out to my room and saw Dimitri staring out the windows, "The one in front of you opens to the balcony."

He turned to me and looked… surprised, "What?"

"That window," I pointed to it, "There's a small handle on it, turn it and push and it opens to the balcony. It's beautiful, you should go look."

"I will some other time, I need to get settled into my room before I head to work." He walked towards me and stopped a few steps in front of me. "So… Will you show me my room?" He asked gently.

"Ohhhh right," I turned quickly and walked towards the door between my bed and closet. I opened it and allowed him to walk in before I followed him. The lights automatically came on when he walked in and let him see everything in the light golden room. The king sized bed was in the corner in front of us with a mini fridge next to it and a night stand. There was a book shelf on wall across from the door and there were a few full length windows on the far wall with a large Plasma TV in between them. "The fridge is fully stocked and if you want anything else in it let me know. The books are mostly westerns and the TV gets any channel you can think of. You can get any On Demand stuff you want Abe will pay for it and if you need anything else let me know because I'm literally right outside your door." I smiled when I heard him chuckle and then exited his room to give him space.

I sat on the edge of my bed and looked down at my hands. Slowly I moved them to the edge of my shirt and carefully pulled it up off my stomach. There was my reminder. "You will always remember me, Rosemarie. Even though you think you'll be free of me once I am gone, you will never be, that I can promise you." The was the last thing he had said to me. I ran my hands over the words he had carved into me: zayıf, çirkin, yağ, aptal, işe yaramaz, değersiz, then lastly his name: Victor Dashkov. My fingers aimlessly traced the words that had scared over time and the long jagged scar that ran up my stomach.

"Roza," I looked up and Dimitri was standing right in front of me. He stared at my scars with a twisted face, "what- What does it mean?"

My hands dropped back to my lap and my shirt fell to cover my stomach. "It's written in Turkish so my father and our family would always remember the meaning… It means we are all vulnerable. That he can get to any of us whenever he pleases. Because…" I looked down to pull myself together then looked back up directly into his eyes. "Because if he can get to me, then he can get to Abe, and he can get to anyone."


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