Hoenheim's frown deepened as a couple of visiting tourists in Hawaiian shirts snapped photos of him holding their bagel, one half in each hand. He hated this current job. The idea bulb gig wasn't very long lived. Although the running around the room gave Hoenheim great legs, he got fed up with some of the more idiotic revelations he had to light up for. The coffee bar manager sacked him one night as when the extremely drunken man with the revelation revealed that 'it's grab with your left, shake with your right', Hoenheim punched the drunkard for being an idiot.

But this current gig was no better, in fact he thought it could be worse. The tourists snapped another picture and Hoenheim kept his eyes on the bagel halves as they ever so slowly turned a golden brown. He kept remembering why he was submitting himself to such humiliation: his family needed him to support them even if it meant…this. The tourists were taking pictures next to him and the bakery owned bagel cart. All the while he kept thinking the names of his sons and his wife yet his patience was waning.

After what seemed to be an eternity, he set the bagel halves down and informed the tourists who were snapping shots of an authentic East City pigeon, that their bagels were done. But the woman, a rail of a thing with a nose that could double as a stirring spoon, spoke up. "But you got to say it!" She whined to Hoho as she turned to her husband to confirm what she said, "Doesn't he have to say it? Say it!"

Hoenheim rolled his eyes and said in a flat tone, "Ding your bagel is done."

"No, no, no, no, no." the woman tisked, "Say it with vigor."

"Ding your bagel is done." He repeated with an obvious fake cheerfulness.

"Come now, don't say it if you don't mean it. What kind of professional are you…" She kept talking, rambling about how street vending was supposed to be an art and an act. With each word the image of his blissful family counting on him began to wane only to be replaced with raw rage until he couldn't take it anymore.

The philosopher's stone threw the bagel halves at the tourists' heads and yelled manically, "Ding, your bagel is done!" The woman screamed in shock and horror and grabbed Marty and quickly walked away as Hoenheim grabbed more bagels to lob at them.

Half way down the block and ten to fifteen thrown bagels later, Hoenheim decided to retire from his brief stint as a human toaster in order to further preserve his sanity. Of course that meant he had to find another job. Three mouths would not feed themselves.

A/N: Two chaps in one week! Gasp! I'm heading on vacation this upcoming week and I want to be true to my word so here is an early present.

Dedication: This chap is dedicated to GemEncrustedEarth for making the current vacation possible. :)