Disclaimer: I own none of the characters. Only the plot and setting. Those are mine. 'Cause I made 'em up.

Author's Note: Ummm. So, yeah, first chapter! (Hooray.)

You know the drill. italics is thought. I'd love feedback.


"Please don't worry. I am doing fine. " - Escape the Fate, "Day I left the Womb"


Chapter One:"What a drag..."

Nara Shikamaru sat down at the booth in "The Rundown", a new pub in town. He breathed in deeply. It was just the kind of place he loved. The relaxed atmosphere, the permission to smoke, the alcohol served and, most importantly, it was not a cop bar. Yeah. Things are good right now.

"Hey, Shikamaru!" A certain troublesome female voice that he had heard and known for years now disrupted his state of calm. Cursed. He was cursed.

"Mm?" He glanced at her as she slid onto a stool next to him. Her miniskirt rode up her thighs, exposing flawless porcelain skin. "What do you want? And why are you here? This isn't exactly your scene." Not that he really cared. Much. But, Yamanaka Ino would tell him anyway so he figured he'd get it over with.

"Earlier, I called the department to see if we were still on for tonight -they put me on hold forever- when that mean Hyuuga told that me you had already left." She pouted, her gorgeous face twisting into the kind of frown that could make any man grovel -if only to see her smile again. Except for close friends. They were wise to her clever ways. "Why didn't you wait for me? Am I not the love of your life?" Oh, no. Not this routine again.

"Yamanaka." He flicked his cigarette butt into a nearby ashtray. It was his tenth that day. From his second pack. Stress be damned. And, lately, the damned things were getting costlier by the minute.

Ino brightened instantly. "Yes? What, Love? What does that precious heart of yours desire?" She tilted her head playfully and crossed her arms so that her indigo top dipped, increasing the visible amount of cleavage. Troublesome...

"Shut up." Please.

Ino pretended to be hurt. She threw her arms over the bar's surface and cried out, "Can I do nothing to please you?!" Holy Christ. "Why? Why, God, why?" She threw herself on him and he nearly fell out his seat. Her hands gripped his shirt. This woman... "Am I not good enough? What am I doing wrong? Tell me, Love, what can gain your favor? What needs be done? Tell me and I shall endeavor to earn your love again!" Ino looked at him with teary eyes.

Shikamaru sighed. "Woman, will you stop? This new case is a friggin' ball-buster." He turned to the barmaid who had been staring at the twosome's odd exchange. "A pint of Guinness," he ordered.

"Comin' right up."

"What do you mean?" Ino frowned as the woman set down Shikamaru's drink. "Isn't it the usual? Don't tell me that it's finally getting to you." The remark was casual, and the concern in her voice was carefully masked, but genuine. Shikamaru privately appreciated her consideration and the fact that she hid her concern when they talked; that kind of openness made him uncomfortable, even if he had known her forever. He never was any good at that touchy-feely shit.

Shikamaru only shook his head and drank his alcohol. Just his luck that Ino was so nosy. Of course knowing other people's problems and helping them through them was her job. Therapists and counselor be damned, too. "It's definitely not "the usual". I don't even know how to describe this one. The victims all seem to have specific profiles...but we can't seem to profile the killer. It just doesn't fit. It's unlike anything we've seen." His hand shook from exhaustion as he set his glass down. A fair skinned hand covered his.

Ino smiled slightly, "If you ever need to talk or support you know that I'm here...you know where to find—"

A loud ring-tone of a ForeverTheSickestKids song suddenly went off. "She's a lady and ladies shouldn't be messed with..."

"Damn! I forgot my appointment with that creepy patient!" She frantically flipped open the cell. "...Kiba! I...listen, you mutt! I need you at this place called The Rundown in five! No, not hours. Minutes. Five minutes. Do you know where...? Okay, good. Get me back to my Flower Shop pronto! ...I don't care about Akamaru ...Akamaru is just a bike, Kiba. I can't believe you named it... Well, polish the stupid thing later...! ...Shut up. Get your flea-ridden ass down here! You owe me. No excuses!" Ino sighed and shoved the phone back into her pocket.

Shikamaru raised an eyebrow. "Another one of your flings?" There seems to be so many these days.

She grinned and punched him lightly on the shoulder. "No. I'm dating, silly!" Her friend's eyebrow rose: "silly"...? Ino sighed dreamily, "He's an artist. So profound and secretive ...and so dark..." She had that foolish grin on her face -the one that every lovesick female has. Makes 'em look stupid. She must be really into the guy.

Shikamaru's lips twitched, "You mean he's one of those goth guys in skinny pants? With make-up? Well. Congrats, Ino. You do know how to pick 'em."

"No, he's not. Shut up. Like you should talk. You remember that one messed up girl you dated one time? Kin? I'm not the only one who's made some mistakes." Oh. Right. "Yeah, this guy may have problems but he is just the type of man I'd love to—"

"Whoa. Stop right there. Alright? Point proven. You shouldn't keep this Kiba guy waiting. Or your patient." Like last time....

Ino muttered a curse. "I'm sorry, Shikamaru."

"It's fine, Ino. That Kisame guy again, right?"

"...Kisame?" the barmaid looked up in surprise, her turquoise eyes widening, "As in The DJ "Shark" of Club Bait?"

Ino regarded her silently while Shikamaru nodded. The woman shrugged and busied again herself with polishing glasses.

Ino huffed, "I still feel bad, ditching you like Neji ditches us." Shikamaru snickered. Ino feels like the Great Detective Hyuuga? That's a laugh. "Well," Ino squeezed him, "Don't stay out too late, love. You'll need your strength for this one, I can feel it. Laters!" She kissed him lightly on the lips and ran out to greet the faint growl of a motorcycle. Shikamaru stared at the door for a second -then smiled to himself as it closed. There was a long pause.

"So..." the barmaid leaned on the counter. "She your girl?" Her eyes were trained on him, eyebrow cocked, smiling faintly.

I could really enjoy seeing that smile everyday. Then, the woman's words registered i his brain. Ino? My? Shikamaru flinched violently and froze, all bodily functions halting before he finally remembered to live. Ino...my...? "Huh- no. She's been one of my closest friends since before I could remember. I could never date her. She knows me too well." He shook himself. Ino? Dating? Shikamaru? Those words did not belong in any combination in any sentence together. Ever. Never. Ever. Never. Ever. "Ugh. That'd be like dating a bothersome sister...all nosy...or something..." Never. Ever. Just -no.

"Hm. I see." She returned to polishing. Shikamaru noticed that it was the same glass she'd been rubbing for five minutes. "So what, are you an officer?" She winced as she murmured "officer".

"Yeah," Shikamaru raised the glass to his lips, "sort of. I work on special cases."

The girl nodded, her sandy-blond hair glinting in the light, "Like what?" She kept her face disinterested.

Shikamaru frowned slightly, considering. How much should I tell her? "Sociopaths...bloodbaths...serial killings..." The woman froze. Shikamaru continued, "The cases vary. Homicides, mostly. Profiling -occasionally. It's always the worst of the worst..." The sound of a glass mug shattering on the floor was deafening. Shikamaru jumped up. "Are you alright?"

The girl's hands were shaking. "God, how klutzy. I'm fine. I just need a moment..."

"I'm sorry..." Oh, for the love of... "Uh, if I upset you... what I mean is um..." He wasn't used to soothing distressed women. Ino rarely ever got shaken up like this. She only acted the part of a promiscuous air-head for kicks. When they were kids, Shikamaru only became friends with her because she was so level-headed and insightful.

"No. No, it's not that, ah, I should get going. My shift is over and I've been here for a while so I think I'll just hand it over to Sunako -the other girl? I'll just call her." The barmaid began to gather her things and putting away glasses.

Troublesome... He said, "Did I do something...?" She didn't pause. "Could I at least get your number?" Whoa. Hold it. Where the hell did that come from? "Ah, I'd like to call you sometime..." What am I...? "That is, if it's alright with you..."

The woman stared at him, a myriad of thoughts flickering in her eyes, and tilted her head coyly to the side. The lights overhead cast dancing shadows across her face. She flashed him a crooked grin, "Here's my card. Never ever call the fourth number. Even if you can't reach me on the other three." She waved over her shoulder, "Hope I see you again soon, Officer." The woman sauntered out like she owned the pub itself.

Shikamaru stared down at the card in his hand. "Sabakuna Temari", eh? So. She does own The Rundown. He pocketed it and left some money on the bar. Time to go home. Work to do. The case wouldn't solve itself. Hells bells....


The drive home just about killed (bad choice of words considering my job...) his formerly light mood. Only one word: traffic. "Traffic"? How about "urban hell"? That fit much better. He practically dragged himself up the steps in his apartment complex...of course he dragged himself anywhere but each trudge up the steps to his home was unusually heavy. He threw his keys down and sat down on his couch. The light in his sparsely furnished living room was dim, but that didn't lessen his analytical ability. Nothing did, it seemed. He wasn't known as "the Genius" for nothing. One of the best in the department. Of course, the entire team he belonged to was comprised of people who were prodigies in some way, shape or form. Only those were selected for the seventh division's special homicide case squad a.k.a. the "Horror Squad". A truly charming nickname. Uzumaki "the idiot/maverick" Naruto thought of it.

It had stuck. Unfortunately.

He rested his elbows on his knees, bent forward. The contents of the case file were spread out on his (stained) coffee table. He stared at it. He squinted. Switched around the pieces and notes and documents of evidence. Studied the pictures. If he was still green it would have been hard to but the fact that he was used to it...well, that said something.

They were gruesome shots, something you would see in a zombie film, something only handled by the "Horrors" (another Naruto original). Body parts everywhere, blood splattered in seemingly random places, the flesh strung up across the ceiling (It had stuck. Took the CSIs forever to remove all the damned pieces.) as though it had been flung away. But these were patterns nonetheless. He still had trouble making sense of it. Worst murder he'd seen yet. Really, who deserved this? Who could have thought of this? Premeditated? Impulsive? He glared at the data (or rather the lack of it) and meditated. The details... he shuddered: it was...bestial. It only took one glance at the report Haruno Sakura (one of the most skilled medical examiners he'd ever known; she worked for them, thank the Gods) had written up about the scene and the body. The victim's body had been torn and ripped without any sign of bruising or striations. There was no evidence of the use of a knife, or blade. There was no DNA left behind but the victim's and the one(s) who discovered the body. Shikamaru grimaced. How troublesome... this would take so long.

These homicides felt like they were the first few in a series of many others. "Oh, hell." Looked like he and slumber wouldn't be seeing much of eachother for a while.

"What a drag..."


"Kankuro!" Temari shouted in the doorway, "where are you?" She hung up her red leather jacket in the foyer and shed her shoes. Strange. She glanced around. Why didn't he answer...? There was only quiet. "Kankuro, we have an emergency!" She opened the door to his room... "They know about—" ...And there he was.

...All over the walls.

Temari's chest ached with the need to scream. Her fingers trembled on the doorknob. She shook her head in disbelief. No. This never happened. His head hadn't been bashed open and his flesh wasn't scorched and flayed into pieces. His blood wasn't pooling on the floor and his innards weren't hanging from the ceiling fan, dripping still. No. No. He wasn't dead. His body hadn't been butchered. He never had his head severed from his body, the face contorted unnaturally. Because, he shouldn't have been in agony. No. Because it did not happen. It did not happen. It couldn't have.

But it did.

Gaara. Where's Gaara? She needed to find him. Make sure he wouldn't see this. Where is Gaara? She nearly dropped the phone onto the floor as she dialed for emergency.

"Hello?" the woman on the phone had a kind voice.

"I need to report...there was a murder..." Come on...be strong. Don't cry. "...my brother was killed. I found him dead... on his room."

"On his...? ...miss...? Where are you calling from?"

"We live in a development called "The Dunes". Hurry. I don't know how my other brother will react when he comes back. I don't want anything else hurt.... Hurry." She hung up and sank to the ground. Gaara. Stay away. He's so fragile. For your own good. Please. By Amaterasu's Blade, how would he take it if—?

There was an almost undetectable footfall."...Temari...?" The familiar voice before her had cracked on the the last syllable. "...Temari, what...?"

Oh, no. Gaara... "Kankuro was... I..." Please don't fall to pieces, Gaara. Don't.


Back in his apartment Detective Nara was shaken out of his thoughts; his cell phone was going off. A text message. He looked at the number. Hyuuga Neji. Damn. He was the designated bearer of bad news. It suited his mentality, though. The guy was always all "we are burdened by the heavy hands of fate" this or "we can but only despair in the face of our destinies" that. The text read "murder. seventh's turf; need you at the scene" along with attached coordinates to the crime. Shikamaru stretched and proceeded to walk out again. As soon as he strode out of the building his phone went off again. This time it read "bring the idiot too".

Damn it all.

Why would they need Naruto?

Such a drag.