Thanks again for the reviews. Hope you enjoy this one.
Based on the episodes "Reunion" and "Undercover", Series 4, created by John Hugginson and John Banas, two absolute geniuses.
Disclaimer: I do not own City Homicide or its characters.
3.
He had thought that she was going to be killed. Terror had pulsed through his veins. He couldn't lose her. When they had realised that the men were not intruders, but were SIS 'teaching them a lesson', Nick had felt the rage rise up within him. He had been incredibly angry when he confronted McAllister, wondering how the hell SIS could operate in this fashion, trying to scare their operatives into towing the line.
They returned to the house in silence. They had only had time to throw on some clothes, before being taken to SIS headquarters; they had not had any breakfast, or a coffee. Jen was still slightly shell shocked by what had occurred that morning – the brief moment shared by herself and Nick had been somewhat overshadowed by the events involving the masked SIS officers.
She poured them both a cup of tea, and carried the mugs over to the small kitchen table, where Nick sat, his hands folded beneath his chin.
She set the cup down before him. "Are you hungry? Do you want me to make you something to eat?"
Nick shook his head. "No. Lost my appetite. Thanks."
Jen sat down across from him, cradling her mug in her hands. She examined his face closely. The strong jaw line, the pronounced cheek bones, the intense blue eyes that she felt she could just lose herself in. She wanted to talk to him about what he had said to her earlier that morning, but it was awkward with the microphones being able to pick up whatever they said.
She got up and walked over to the television, turning it on quite loudly. This couldn't wait. She ignored McAllister's warning to get their "heads into the game". She needed to know. Nick looked at her questioningly.
She walked back over to him, taking a seat next to him at the table and looking intently into his eyes. "What you said before...did you mean it?"
He put down his cup and stared at her, the corners of his mouth turning up in a slight smile. "You know I never stopped having feelings for you. You know it, Jen."
Her heart leapt, she wanted to reach out and touch him, to kiss him. Instead, she stayed where she was, and smiled at him. "I know. But it's awkward, Nick. I don't know what to do. I don't know what we should do."
"I know what I'd like to do..." he smiled at her.
She grinned cheekily back at him. "Well, we need to be practical. Let's just get through this first, and then I guess...well, I guess that after this is over, we need to talk."
Nick got up and walked over to the kitchen sink, placing his mug down. He stood and looked at her. "We can't keep sweeping it under the carpet, Jen, pretend that we don't feel this way. We need to deal with it, and we need to be honest with each other."
He walked over to her, kneeling down next to her chair, and taking her hands in his. His voice was low. "I've spent the last four years wondering about you, wondering where you were, if I was going to see you again. I couldn't get you out of my mind. And when I found you, in Homicide, it all came back. I felt the same things I felt four years ago. Nothing has changed for me." He bent his head close to her ear and whispered " I want you now as much as I wanted you back then."
Jen stroked his hand with her thumb, wanting so badly to reach out, cup his face in her hands, and plant a lingering kiss on his lips. "Nick" she whispered hoarsely.
She didn't want to look at him, afraid that he would see the desire in her eyes, and reach out to her; she knew that if he touched her, she wouldn't be able to stop herself. She couldn't stop herself, not this time around. Things were different.
The fact that they had found each other again, in Homicide, and were now back together as Trish and Wesley...well, wasn't that fate? Jen knew that she couldn't deny her feelings for him any longer.
Working together side by side, getting to know him as Nick Buchanan, being his friend; well, it wasn't enough. She had grown to love him and want him even more with each passing day.
Jen wasn't sure what would happen from this point on, after this assignment – but she did know that things would never be the same between them again. Nick had spoken the words, he had broken the deadlock that they had been in, and now that the floodgates had been opened, Jen knew that they could not be closed.
Later that morning, they met with Hartono, who came to the house. He had appeared quiet, pensive, somewhat suspicious. Jen wasn't happy with how the meeting had gone. Something wasn't right, but she couldn't put her finger on what it was. Nick was a little more relaxed about it, however when Dom, the SIS operative stationed nearby to protect them, had come to the house and given them instructions to push Hartono further, Jen was worried, and Nick had to agree that something was not right.
"There's an urgency about this, that wasn't here during our first assignment" Jen whispered to him.
"I know. But we do what we have to do, and then we go home. Okay?"
When Nick had gone off alone to meet Hartono, Jen was concerned. She spent the hour that he was gone, sitting on the bed, thinking, worrying. She just wanted him to come back alive. She just wanted him back.
Jen sighed. She had managed quite nicely to hold everything together, until this morning. Then when Nick had told her that he still had feelings for her...well, the walls she had built up around herself suddenly came crashing down. She loved this man, she knew that. How had she ever denied it? If the SIS officers had not burst in that morning, who knew what might have happened? Jen knew that last time, she and Nick had only just managed to keep it together, she didn't think she could refuse him again. No, if he touched her again, she knew that she wouldn't refuse. She had wanted him for too long, the need in her now was too great.
Jen nervously waited for him to come back to her. She worried that it was taking too long, that something had happened to him.
When he finally walked back in the door, the relief that she felt was overwhelming. She got up from the bed and walked over to him, and despite her intention not to, she put her arms around him and buried her head in his chest, so glad to have him back in one piece. His arms circled around her waist, and he buried his face in her hair, but he restrained himself, because he knew that they were teetering on the brink, and he didn't like his chances of stopping, once he started.
"It's okay" he whispered. "It went okay. I'm alright."
She looked up at him. "What did he say?"
"Nothing, really, but I made it pretty clear that we won't be going away. I think we can expect to hear from him soon."
Jen pulled herself away from him, and sat back on the bed, her legs curled up beneath her, her arms wrapped against her middle.
He knew what she was thinking. He sat down next to her, rubbed her back gently with his hand. "Jen, the sooner we do what they want, the sooner we get to go. It'll be okay. Let's just get it over with."
She looked at him with frightened eyes, and nodded slowly.
This had to be over soon.
