Maybe an hour had passed by the time Lien Hua found herself back in the hallway outside where her mentor was working on her client. She didn't dare make any noise as she paced about, at attention for the moment her teacher needed any more materials.
Thunder rumbled outside the temple walls, stopping Lien in her place. Did she dare walk in unannounced to check on Hui Chao? Not that she felt the old bhikkhuni was in need of any protection. Maybe, she admitted to herself, she was just curious to see if their guest had anything to do with the weather outside of the monastery.
No sooner than he had popped into her mind did the door slide open once again. Hui Chao stepped out into the hallway, sliding the screen shut behind her.
"I brought my best needles out to do the job," the older woman lamented. "Solid bone. Capable of cutting clean through the toughest bark around. The big one's been reduced to nothing but a nub, now."
Lien Hua's eyes grew wide.
"Should… should I make more tea?" she asked weakly, but ignorant of any other suggestion she could possibly think of. Hui Chao scoffed in response.
"Pah, it's going to take much more than tea to fix this one," she spat out. "He has seen awful, horrific things. There is a burden on his shoulders heavier than any mortal man could possibly bear. The pressure has almost defeated him, made him small in his mind. He has drawn inward trying to shrink himself, so tense that his muscles may as well be made of stone."
Concern for their guest was written on Lien Hua's face.
"By the gods!" she exclaimed softly. "What can we do?"
"Nothing," Hui Chao responded. "But there is something you can do."
Lien Hua paused, confused.
"What would that be?" she asked hesitantly.
"You can offer him your company," Hui Chao stated simply. Lien Hua blinked twice, not sure she had heard her teacher correctly. But she didn't dare object to her master's orders directly, and so she took care in choosing her next words.
"My… my company?" she repeated, feeling as if her ribs were beginning to shrink around her heart.
"Yes. Whatever that may entail," Hui Chao said, looking her student in the eye to ensure the meaning in her words was clear.
"And… and break my vow?" Lien Hua replied, panicking and putting a hand to her chest. "Master Hui Chao, how could I possibly…"
"Listen closely, Lien," Hui Chao cut her off impatiently, lifting an ancient finger to her flustered pupil's face. "The act itself is not enough to draw someone away from the path to enlightenment. It is the desire behind it that has led to its participants' downfall. Do you desire our client?"
"No. No, no, no, not at all," Lien spat out quickly, recalling his battered face. Hui Chao studied her student, dropping her finger.
"Have I failed you yet, Lien?" she asked, her voice gentler this time. "Do you have faith that I would never lead you astray from the path you have chosen to seek?"
"Absolutely," Lien Hua responded immediately.
"Good," her teacher said. "Now in there is a man who has lost his path. Grandmaster Fa has sent him to us for a reason. But I will not force you to go in there if you feel you can't."
Hui Chao stopped there, staring at her student to let her know she was waiting for an answer. Lien Hua couldn't give one immediately. She didn't take the idea of breaking her vow lightly by any means, but she certainly didn't want to disobey the woman who had taken her in as her own and given her the life she had always wanted. Most of all, she didn't want to abandon the deity in his time of need.
"I'll… I'll go in there," she muttered quietly, bowing her head to Hui Chao.
"Very well," her mentor said. "Do what you must. If it makes you feel better, it may not come to that if you find another way to console him."
With that, the elder made her way out of the hall, leaving the young priestess-in-training to stare at the softly glowing screen in front of her. She hesitated for a long moment, taking a deep breath in an attempt to quell her nerves before reentering the divinity's presence.
She took a step forward, closing the gap between her and the screen, upon which she gingerly placed a hand for an instant longer than she anticipated. Finally, she slid it open, letting her eyes adjust to the darkness until she could see the outline of the person still sitting in exactly the same position next to the lantern as when she last saw him.
Worry began to brew alongside her apprehension as she closed the door behind her. She straightened her robes and walked over to him, careful to observe his state before taking further action. Now she could clearly see that even the candle had failed to retain his attention; he was hunched over, his eyelids slid shut, perhaps in an attempt at self-exile from the only thing keeping him out of total darkness. Some of his hair had fallen out of its makeshift band, further shielding him from any outside disturbance. The blanket hung limply around his elbows, revealing to Lien Hua some of the attempts Hui Chao had made with her needle. They looked laughably like sickly cat scratches, at best.
She could feel her heart wringing in her chest, saddened at the pathetic sight of the lowly and broken deity. She tried to think of something, anything within her power to lift his spirits. She saw the tray with the teapot and cup still on it off to his side. She couldn't tell how much he had taken, if he had taken any at all, but the set itself gave her an excuse to interact with something besides him in the environment, and so she bent over to push it out of the way, making room for herself next to their guest. She knelt beside him carefully, observing him for any sign of a reaction. Unfortunately, the low light in the room didn't reveal much in terms of motion.
Lien Hua swallowed down the knot in her throat. Just sitting next to the god was enough to set her on edge; something about his presence made the hairs on the back of her neck stand up, although there was no obvious danger. Just the phantom sensation of his former power unnerved her, but Hui Chao had made her objective clear. And deep down, Lien Hua recognized the yearning she had to help others, the same one that had spurred her on early in life to try and reach enlightenment as a bhikhunni, hopeful that one day she would be able to guide others like Hui Chao had done for her.
She grabbed the cup off the tray, lukewarm to the touch. She picked up the pot and poured out fresh, hot tea until she could see the light reflecting from the liquid, the only indication it had been filled to its rim. She turned to him, holding the cup under his nose, hoping the aroma would stir him out of his dozing state. For a moment, it didn't seem to be working, but just as she contemplated withdrawing her hand and trying something else, she thought she could see his eyes begin to flutter open with some effort on his part, as if fighting the weight of his own lids. The rest of his expression remained remarkably static, but to Lien Hua any reaction was a sign of something working.
"Please," she prodded gently, holding the cup closer to his lips. "It will do you some good."
She couldn't be sure her words were having any impact as their client continued to stare at some unfixed spot in front of him with a glaze slowly seeping into his glare. Lien Hua pursed her lips, thinking about how she was to go about working up a solution if their client was no more responsive to her efforts than a mute.
Seeing no other option, she temporarily went against what her passive nature told her and simply pressed the cups to his lips. She didn't know exactly what she expected, but gasped nonetheless when he suddenly grabbed her wrist, so quickly she hadn't even seen his hand come up from the folds of the comforter. Frozen, Lien Hua tried not to tremble as she watched him break his fixation on the air to slowly leer at her from the corner of his swollen eye. For a fleeting instant, she feared for her life, sure that her gesture had reawakened some long dormant urge she imagined all gods had to smite those who acted against their wishes.
Before she could begin a prayer in her head, however, she felt his grip loosen from her hand. She watched him slowly bring his own over the cup she still held. He drew it out of her fingers, taking it and setting it down in front of him as he kept his gaze fixed on the young monk. His empty glare lingered on her for a moment, and she felt the nervous tingle revisit the back of her neck, as well as the hairs on her forearms. Soon, though, he appeared to lose interest in the young woman, returning his stare to the withering flame in front of him.
Lien Hua gulped again, still listening to her heart pound in her ears from the scare. She sat back up, not ready to try anything else that could potentially provoke the deity. But neither was she ready to go outside and face the wrath of Hui Chao.
She tugged at her robes, loosening some of the fabric so that she could turn comfortably in his direction. She knelt formally, resting on the balls of her feet.
"Lord Raiden," she began in a low tone. She tried to sound strong and clear, but her fear of inciting another adverse reaction kept her tone in check. "Please tell me what it is that ails you. We cannot take anybody from Grandmaster Fa and turn them out unassisted. What can we do to help you?"
He gave no answer. Lien Hua hung her head and squeezed her eyes shut, surprised when she realized that her patience was beginning to wane.
"Perhaps I am beyond help," finally came the weary, faltering reply. She looked up to him, admittedly more shocked that he had finally spoken than by what he had actually said. But she couldn't risk losing him now.
"What do you mean?"
"It was my negligence - my foolishness - that almost cost this world its savior and its freedom," Raiden continued. Each word sounded like a struggle, like one step closer to giving up on his feeble voice altogether. "This could very well be my comeuppance."
Lien Hua didn't know how to counter this, as she had not been there to witness the thunder god's supposed foolishness in action. She had no idea if there was any truth to his words. But she could also feel sympathy beginning to well up for the broken wretch bemoaning himself in front of her.
"…I cannot tell you whether or not that is true," she said softly. "But if you say it almost came at the gravest of costs… well, then does that not mean such an outcome was ultimately averted?"
For the first time, he turned his head to look directly at her. And for the first time she did not shrink under his gaze.
"Is this world not still free?" she continued, getting off her knees and sitting herself even closer to their guest. "Somewhere along the line, you managed to fix your mistake. Or else I doubt we would be sitting here having the conversation we are now."
Lien Hua smiled warmly, hoping her words were having some effect and that he would do the same. He didn't return the gesture, but she watched him divert his gaze downward as he appeared to mull her words over.
"Maybe," he muttered. "But there is no doubt in my mind that the Elder Gods will not hesitate to hold this against me for as long as they can."
"Let them do as they wish," Lien Hua interjected. She could feel heat rushing to her face as she caught herself engaging in the dangerous act of slandering the name of the Elder Gods, but she couldn't stop herself. "When they have risked everything for their realm, then they can pass their petty judgment."
She saw Raiden's mouth partly drop open at her sudden display of indignation. For a short instant, she thought she could see a hint of a smirk tug at the corner of his lips. But it could've been a trick of the flame's jumping light, and she had no time to discern for sure what she had seen before he turned away from her again. But his expression certainly didn't seem as weighed down as before.
She could feel the pressure in her chest alleviate as her hope rekindled, but she was still at a loss for what to do next. She looked around, for what she didn't know, but trying to stall on the off-chance Hui Chao decided to come in and interrupt them. Such an option didn't seem likely, however, and so with a sigh, Lien Hua set her hand on the ground, inconspicuously sliding it over until it barely touched the thunder god's own. When she sensed him picking his head back up to look at her, she closed her eyes and put her hand on top of his.
"What is this?" she heard him ask. She opened her eyes and saw him staring at her strangely. It was the first time she had a full view of his face, and she immediately realized that in a past where his visage wasn't battered the way it was now, he was more than likely remarkably handsome. But it still didn't motivate her any more to do what she felt she must.
"I'm… I'm sorry, Lord Raiden," she stuttered, placing her other hand on his cheek. "It is under Hui Chao's orders."
She caught a glimpse of the bewildered look he gave her before she pressed her lips to his cheek. She didn't expect him to raise his other hand and push her back so harshly.
"Please do not do that," he reprimanded her sternly, instilling fear that she had just undone the progress she had made.
"Lord Raiden, I must," she pleaded. "Hui Chao says your skin cannot take the needle until…"
She tried to read his expression as she trailed off, but his stony countenance was difficult to decipher. She averted her gaze to the ground, ashamed and wishing she could just leave the room already. She almost gave up and acted on her desire before she felt a hand come up to pull her chin back; it took a moment for her to recognize that their guest had taken it upon himself to return her gesture. She felt warm lips on her own, and she froze, completely at a loss for how to react. She sat rigidly still until he pulled away.
Again his expression was a mystery to decode. But she knew every moment she put off the inevitable was another moment her teacher couldn't help him, and so, shaking from nerves, Lien Hua pushed her saffron robe partly off her shoulder and moved in closer. When their mouths met again, she could feel the cut that marred his bottom lip, and though she hated herself for it, she shivered with repulsion. She fumbled awkwardly with her hands, settling for resting them around his broad shoulders as he loosely embraced her. She remained in his hold for a minute or so, unsure of what else to do. Guessing wildly, she dropped one hand to his torso, surprised to feel the hard muscle underneath the fabric. Absentmindedly, she ran her hand back over a second time, landing on a particularly nasty bruise, and he hissed and drew back, dropping his arms and startling her.
"I'm sorry!" she cried out, watching him attempt to recover from the contact. She hesitated to try and comfort him, not willing to risk hitting another sore spot.
"It's… it's fine," he replied weakly, holding his hand over his abdomen and turning to give her a feeble smile. Again she looked away briefly. When she looked back, he had returned his attention to the lantern. She took the opportunity while he was distracted to come closer again, surprised once more when he placed a hand on her chest to stop her.
"It's enough," he told her, looking her in the eye. This close, she could see small crescents of light blue in his irises that hadn't been there before, distracting her from his arm circling around her shoulders. He pulled the blanket back up, tugging some of it out to cover her lap.
She watched dumbfounded as he pulled her in and closed his eyes, audibly blowing a satisfied-sounding stream of air from his nose. When she realized that he sought no more activity, she relaxed, turning to grab the tea cup and handing it to him. He took it graciously, nodding to her before taking a sip. He pulled her robes back over her shoulder, turning back to the lantern.
Lien Hua couldn't help herself from smiling; it seemed her words had been enough to accomplish her goal. She struggled to put into speech her gratitude to the deity, but stopped when she realized it was not the time to make it about her.
So she leaned into his shoulder and was quiet. The only sound in the room from that point was the infrequent sips he took from his cup.
There was a knock on the wooden framework supporting the screens surrounding the room. The door slid open to reveal an expectant Hui Chao poking her head in.
"If I may?" the elder croaked, straining to see in the low light, although she had brought a second lantern with her. Lien Hua whipped her head around to look at her mentor. Slightly embarrassed, she quickly lifted Raiden's arm off of her shoulder, giving him back his portion of the blanket and brushing off her robes as she stood up.
"Of course," she blurted out, walking over to the door, but not before glancing back to the thunder god. She could see a hint of a smirk on his lips before she turned around to make her departure. Her teacher, however, held her in place before she could do so.
"Did it work?" she whispered, craning to hear her student's answer.
"I… I think so," Lien Hua replied, not willing to go into detail regarding their encounter (or lack thereof). Either way, Hui Chao seemed pleased as she nodded.
"I knew it," she said, seemingly more as a compliment to herself than to Lien Hua. "All he needed was a pretty girl's company."
Blushing, Lien Hua hastily gathered herself and left.
